Being a better me: meditation diary week 2 & 3

I must start this hub by confessing that during the second week of my meditation mission, I didn't actually meditate a whole lot. I beat myself up over this a bit before coming to the realisation that, of course, being guilty for not doing something that only I was invested in doing... was silly. I wasn't letting anyone else down, and developing a guilt complex was only going to make the task at hand more difficult. So I have moved on. Woohoo!

Having made this admission - I did manage two good meditations during the week, if only 20 minutes a piece. This has continued into the third week and though it may be only a subconscious projection onto the way things already are... it seems to be having an effect. I am naturally a calm person, but after years of bending my mind to the task of daydreaming (which everyone should do daily!) the actuality of soothing the whirlpool of thoughts in my head is rather difficult.

Increment by increment, however, I seem to be extending that moment of internal silence. I feel more able to collect my thoughts at any given moment, and am certainly more alert in every day conversation.

At the advice of my fiance I have started to exercise before each meditation. At first this seemed counter intuitive. I thought that with my heart rate and breathing increased, I would find it difficult to find a calm state of mind (especially as I start meditation with a breathing exercise). It turns out that this is not as much of an issue as I had thought it would be. In fact, the release of Endorphins and the high levels of oxygenated blood pumping through the brain has a beneficial calming effect. Also the physical action of the exercise itself (if difficult enough to need focus to perform) acts as a distraction from thinking.

I have found that my meditations, post 10/15 minute hardcore exercise session have been much easier to settle into and simultaneously more successful also. I have expanded my range of calming sounds to listen to during meditation and though the rain and thunder remain my favoured choice, I have had success with trickling water sounds and also the NASA recordings of the sounds made by planets - specifically earth and Jupiter worked well for me.

Things are going well. I've learned that I will have slip ups. I will not maintain my daily routine all the time... but I'm not going to beat myself up about it because its getting easier, and I'm getting better at it. I can feel the momentum building and I am definitely moving in the right direction. Fingers crossed it all continues to go well...