ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

The Ramifications Of Going Off Bipolar Medication, Finding My Way Back To Sanity

Updated on May 16, 2015
Taking bipolar medications can save your life
Taking bipolar medications can save your life

Bipolar meds or not

After much thought and consideration one day I absolutely decided to go off bipolar medications for a short time. I needed to get myself together physically if not only mentally. For the last several months I had been sick, in one in way or another. I think with all the medication changes and withdrawals I felt I wasn't being benefited at all. I felt like I was slowly being poisoned my medical team.

I just was not happy with the level of service I was receiving. I was not confident that the psychiatrist was treating me to the best of his ability. Or more like he was not treating me in the best interest of the patient-ME. I was also experiencing some paranoia and this may have been contributing to my mistrust. But in reality, my doctor was lacking in what I needed most. Compassion and insight.

I had been having a manic psychotic episode. The Geodon I was taking cast off the mixed/mania and planted me squarely in the path of happy-land. I kind of knew I was acting a little bizarre, however I am at the time I was overwhelmed with pure glee and manic giddiness. It was brought to my attention that I should just forsake the whole blasted mess, the mess, meaning the drugs and therapy. My family is was not entirely use to seeing me like that. Inhabiting boldness and obnoxious behaviour, when it is not at all in my nature.

I was living in a rural area I was not entirely happy with. This for me caused some triggering behaviors. Subsequently it posed many difficulties when I was trying to get well. My parents had me committed once a few years ago, only because I ended up in jail and they knew I was disappearing down the wrong, many times, beaten path. So that is all the intimate details for now. I can't always handle my family observing me roll like a buzz-saw persona. still I was fed up with the medications the doctors kept suggesting and insisting I take. I hated the way they caused me to feel so out of control of myself.

I never felt good, I always had a stomach ache, I wouldn't eat for days, sleeping was futile. I was saddled with dizziness more than half the time. I was so disorganized in my head I got absolutely nothing done. Ever. My apartment was nice and tidy, clean. But my physical and mental state was a chaotic hoarding mess. I could not work, I could not drive, I absolutely could not function taking all the medications I had been taking. I just thought it was time for a cleaning of sorts. time to detox my body of all things chemical. I was feared what might occur, but I NEEDED to feel better. With the drugs it is never-ending cycle of side-effects. I did not know who I was anymore. It was an all around merry-go-round every single day.

That day I begun the weaning process. At my psychiatric appointment I asked my Doctor and the RN to help me with this. Whether they agreed or disagreed I told them it was going to happen, if not only for a little bit of clarity. I did not inform my family as to what I was going to do. I thought they would try to talk me out of it. I almost certainly knew it would be short-term, I just knew I wanted to feel better physically, so I could make some better choices. I had been clean from alcohol and drug abuse since May 3rd 2007. And did not want to feel like a zombie anymore.

I was going to deal with bipolar and OCD on my own. One way or another I would find a way that worked for me. I know that medications are essentially necessary, but still, I needed a break from them. Psychiatric medications can be extremely helpful in giving you your life back, but they often come with not so good side effects. Some of the side effects are physically draining, not to mention damaging. So in my withdrawl process I knew I would eventually be going back on a new medication. Just hopefully one that did a little less damage to me physically.

Post Non-Compliance outcome: As of May 2nd 2015. I went off meds for three months and went into a cycle of moods swings akin to a tornado swirling comorbidly with a volcano. It couldn't work, it didn't work. So back on medications and doing better with Trileptal and Adderall (working for depression). Not perfect, but better. So if you should decide to venture this route stay in contact with your therapist and psychiatrist, it will help you master your journey, if you are lucky it will be a good outcome. Be vigilant and aware of what is best for you only, not what others think you need, or what they need. Your health is important, take good care of it.

You need to do what is right for you
You need to do what is right for you

On or Off

I did heal physically after going off the bipolar medications. I felt healthier. I did find my way onto an exercise program of walking several days a week for 30-45 minutes a day. I wasn't in a fog, or always trying to wake up. I actually felt like doing something. Of course no medication had it's downfall. As I've mentioned above I slid into a cycle of mania and depression. I just couldn't do it by myself so to speak. So I was lucky to find a good psychiatrist that was willing and able to work with me and my medication issues. We tried a few things and found a combination that seems to be working out well.

Very minimal side effects. Helpful with keeping mood cycles where they are manageable for me. I don't recommend you go out and detox from your bipolar medications. I am here to share what I went through and why. I cannot discourage or even encourage what is best for you. Every bipolar person is different. We all react differently from the prescribed drugs. So be very aware of what you need or don't need. We all must follow our own path. Be well.


This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

Show Details
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)