- Quality of Life & Wellness
Bullying or Plain Dislike?
From the time that bullying victims spoke up, many advocacy campaigns have risen - ranging from awareness and information drive to fighting back. But how do you recognize if it's bullying or they just don't like you? Have you tried sitting down and reflect for a while what was it in you that makes you unlovable?
For some reason that you cannot explain, most people in the office avoid you, your classmates don't want to be in the same group with you and you simply detect plain dislike on their faces whenever you are near. Let's see if you have the following characteristics why people may not want to hang out with you:
- Halitosis or Bad breath. Hey, who would want to inhale the same air you breathe out? Check your breath. You may have forgotten that you ate a couple of spicy garlic chicken and your breath proudly exclaims it to anyone who comes near.
- Unpleasant body odor. You don't need to be fashionable to be likeable. Just take care of the basics of personal hygiene and you're good.
- Too loud voice. Notice how people cringe when they speak to you? Or have you notice how far they are when they speak to you? Do you see how the people next to you hold on to his ears whenever you speak? Maybe they're just too polite to tell you that you are such a loud mouth. There's such thing as voice modulation, you know.
- Bad Sense of Humor. If you get enjoyment in pointing out people's flaws, coupled with a loud voice, no one would want to be in that spotlight I assure you. The thing is there's a thin line that separates humor and insult. Make sure you know the difference.
- You throw things to people when you feel offended with a joke. If you throw insults a couple of times without sensing that you've offended others, be ready to harvest the same insults.
- You refuse to own up to your mistakes. In order for children to mature, parents point out their mistakes and the consequences of such mistakes. From those consequences, children learn better means and ways to say or do a specific task. Adults, like children do not stop growing. Sometimes, the growing has to occur inside.
- You don't apologize. To own up to your mistake is one, to apologize is also a different thing. You may realize that you are at fault, but you may not feel sorry for the hurt you've inflicted, thus you refuse to amend your ways or apologize.
Now, how do you recognize that it's not bullying? First, the people that get introduced to you were pleasant for the first few days or weeks, but after a while, grow cold. And if you are sensitive enough, you will notice that the population that do not like you is incrementally growing. Now, don't go feel pity for thyself and think that you are being bullied, because you're not. They simply don't enjoy mingling with the likes of you. Unless you recognize these signs for yourself, try to accept them and grow a little more mature, the same cycle will happen with every new acquaintance you meet. Unless you address this, there may no one remaining to confide unto except family. Remember, your family don't have a choice, the people you meet does.