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Bullying Is A National Problem That Must Be Stopped

Updated on October 11, 2013
Free, today, of bullying.
Free, today, of bullying. | Source
Bev and I do not tolerate unkindness and bullying in our lives.
Bev and I do not tolerate unkindness and bullying in our lives. | Source
My father believed in zero tolerance with bullies.
My father believed in zero tolerance with bullies. | Source

I was in the 5th grade when I met my first bully. Before we get to that story, however, allow me to set the stage for you.

At that time I was five feet tall and weighed, on a damn good day, one-hundred pounds. I attended a Catholic school and each day we wore salt-and-pepper pants and a white cotton shirt with a green button-down sweater. To say I was a walking target would be a gross understatement. In the 1950’s to be Catholic was to be different and there was an insidious prejudice running through the very fabric of the United States concerning Catholics. For those of you old enough to remember you will recall that religion was a considerable issue when John F. Kennedy ran for President in 1960, so when I say being Catholic was no picnic you will understand.

Going home after school involved hopping on the city bus, riding it within a half-mile of our home and then walking from there. Unfortunately for me that meant walking through a predominantly Protestant neighborhood; I was not aware of it one sunny September day but I was about to be introduced to prejudice and bullying all in the same afternoon.

One other note of explanation before I finish the tale I started. My father was an Irish bulldog of a man, five-seven with a barrel chest and a quick temper if disrespected. A decorated veteran of World War 2, my dad simply did not know the meaning of the word retreat and believed that a man had to fight for every ounce of respect that this life allowed him to take.

THAT AFTERNOON AND MANY MORE TO FOLLOW

It would be lovely to tell you that I fought and won that afternoon but truth be told I got the stuffing kicked out of me by the neighborhood bully on that walk home. Bruised and bloodied I finally made it home and was administered first aid by my mother who was shocked that her only son would even consider fighting. My dad, on the other hand, simply listened to my account of the activities and then ruffled my hair and told me he was proud of me.

I wasn’t really sure at the time why he was proud of his son and I sure didn’t feel like I had done anything to gain his praise. I do recall wondering what alternative route I could take home the next day and the day after that, but somewhere in my adolescent mind I knew that wasn’t the answer. Consequently the scene was repeated the next day and quite a few more during that school year as I learned a hard lesson about earning respect and never accepting the behavior of a bully.

BULLIES COME IN ALL SIZES AND SHAPES

I am older now and somewhat wiser and that has lent a certain perspective on the subject of bullying. As a teacher I witnessed the same bullying in the schools I taught at so I feel safe in saying that bullying has not changed much over the years. It is still apparent in many kids I see today and it is readily apparent in many adults that I observe. It appears that bullying is not restricted to the youth and that quite possibly childhood bullies become adult bullies. They may not fight you for territory as you make your way home but they are still out there trying to establish some sort of dominance over those they determine to be weaker or more passive. It is the same mentality and fosters the same actions. Those actions may be cleverly disguised in finer clothes and a respected status in society but it is bullying nonetheless.

MIXED EMOTIONS

I have thought of my father’s reactions many times over the years. To respond to bullying with violence goes against everything I believe in today and yet I would react that way if circumstances dictated that type of action. I am not Ghandi nor do I have any desire to be; there are times in life when you simply have to fight and it is the only available path to follow.

Fighting, though, comes in many different forms and to fight physically is to diminish who I am as a human being. I prefer today to find other means with which to fight bullying.

http://billybuc.hubpages.com/hub/My-Fathers-Words-A-Lesson-About-Baseball-and-Life

EMPATHY

I do not believe children are born with a desire to be a bully. Somewhere during their childhoods they are exposed to that type of behavior. Environment and training give birth to bullies, not some inherent weakness of spirit. Having said that I have empathy for those who would try to dominate another and in fact I have compassion for their wounded spirit. Do not, however, confuse empathy with tolerance for I have zero tolerance of anyone who chooses to exert their will over another. It is against my very nature to simply excuse the inexcusable. Although I may understand its nature I have no place in my life for it and I will not allow it to darken my life or the lives of my loved ones.

DEALING WITH BULLIES TODAY

Bullies are quite literally in every walk of life today. You can see them in the grocery store as they bull their way through the crowds demanding faster service or ridiculing those who do not meet their needs and standards. You can see them on television, shouting down anyone who dares to disagree with them over topics ranging from the economy to defense spending to the right to bear arms and most certainly religion. They roam the halls of the business where you work, making demands and trying to insert their will over yours in meetings. We have all seen them, all worked with them, perhaps even had dinner with them in family settings.

Again, I have no tolerance for this behavior and I find myself calling them out each and every time I witness such behavior. I have found over the years that bullies do not expect opposition as though they believe it to be their divine right to be as they are. They certainly do not expect to be reprimanded for such behavior and are often left indecisive when actually confronted. I was gifted with a searing wit and a very sharp tongue and it pleases me at times to let loose of my verbal arsenal when circumstances call for it.

I have also simply told bullies that their behavior is inexcusable and that I find them to be rude and boorish in their actions. In many ways I am still that small kid walking home on a September afternoon. It is still hardwired in me to stand up to bullies and to make sure that they understand that there are those who will not allow them to control the lives of others. We were not born to be controlled. History if filled with examples of man standing up against oppression and make no mistake about it, bullying is all about oppression. To passively allow bullying is to play the part of a victim and that is unacceptable in my book of life.

I will continue to walk my own path home and I will not be told by another that I cannot walk in a particular fashion along a particular route. My father was absolutely correct when he said that we must give respect and earn respect, and once respect has been earned we must demand it.

May you all follow your own path in life and find happiness along the route you choose.

Bill Holland 2012 aka billybuc

Check this article out for related information:

http://thehonestruth.hubpages.com/hub/imagainstbullyinghatecrimes

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    • kingmaxler profile image

      kingmaxler 5 years ago from Olympia, Washington USA

      This is an article that so many should read to learn in a very real way, the straight talk on bullying. What an amazing video you picked. There is so much hope for people to learn and understand. Please find someone to trust and learn to trust. We all need friends and advocates. Thank you, Bill.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      You are very welcome kingmaxler...pass it on, share away, get it out there for people to read and become aware...and thank you so much for your unending support.

    • Jlava73 profile image

      Jennifer Vasconcelos 5 years ago from Cyberspace and My Own World

      Bullies are really just cowards who seek to control and exert control over others. If allowed to they can and will cause harm - once confronted they tend to back down. Way to speak out and keep up the good fight. Voted-up.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Jlava73, I will indeed keep up the fight. Bullies must be stopped and confronted each and every time. Unacceptable behavior will only continue unless it is confronted. Thank you for reading and commenting.

    • EclecticFusion profile image

      Lisa 5 years ago from Tennessee

      Very informative hub and I'm sorry you got the stuffing kicked out of you!

      I had a bully once. In high school and it was a guy! Yeah, a male bullying a female. He should of at least waited until he got married to do that! Just kidding!

      Anyway, one day I couldn't take it anymore and I stood up to him. I punched him a few times and called him all sorts of names. The best part was that he was trapped in the back row of the school bus and couldn't get by me, plus I had an audience behind me! I loved it! I see him every so often and all he does is smile a little and lower his head! Haha!

      Sorry for writing so much, but I wanted to share my experience!

      Voted useful, awesome, and up!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      I'm glad you did write about it and I'm glad you taught him a lesson. It is nice to get to know the other hubbers a bit and hear about their experiences in life. Many of us have much in common and since I respect you I love hearing about your life. Keep it up and thank you as always.

    • Uninvited Writer profile image

      Susan Keeping 5 years ago from Kitchener, Ontario

      Thanks Bill, great hub. I was bullied through my childhood both male and female. I never told my parents. I did survive but the memories come back at the strangest times and I feel like I did then all over again.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Believe me, uninvited, I understand all too well that sensation. It is amazing how quickly my mind can revert back to childhood thoughts and then actions. Thank you for dropping by and taking the time to comment.

    • Sunshine625 profile image

      Linda Bilyeu 5 years ago from Orlando, FL

      Bullies are cowards in disguise. As I heard a 7 year old neighbor kid say "bullies just need more love." Well in my opinion they are going about it the wrong way.

    • Sonya L Morley profile image

      Sonya L Morley 5 years ago from Edinburgh

      Another interesting article billybuc. I've found that sometimes the subtle bullying can be harder to squash as it is often cloaked in a smile, but it is all about oppression, like you say.

    • bizwin profile image

      Christabel Evans 5 years ago from England, UK

      This is a very great read billybuc. Bully in any form or fashion should not be tolerated. It is extreme oppression. and the people they choose to bully can never hurt a fly, i mean hurt nobody.I'm animal friendly. Thanks for sharing!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Linda, without a doubt that is not the way to seek love. I am more than slightly amazed that bullying is as prevalent in today's society as it was when I was growing up. Sad but true! Thank you for dropping by and I would love to meet that seven year old kid...great attitude!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Sonya, I couldn't agree more; it's the ones who smile at me and say the opposite that make me quite nervous. I appreciate you always dropping by to see what pearls of silliness I have come up with.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Bizwin, so true, and regarding animals I have found the same to be true. It is so easy to bully an animal, to break their spirit, and for what? To prove superiority? I am sick of it. Thank you so much for dropping by and commenting.

    • American Romance profile image

      American Romance 5 years ago from America

      I have a story for you! I graduated high school weighing only 150 lbs, I got beat up so bad by a bully that he put me in the hospital only weeks before graduation. Over the summer after graduation I took massive doses of steriods and was in the gym daily! The next year I walked into a bar one night weighing in at 200lbs of fired up testosterone and low and behold was the man I was deathly afraid of! Without hesitation I stormed up to him and invited him outside for a refresher course in ass whuppin..........he declined the offer! I hate bullies with a passion! I put my daughter in karate as a young child and she only had to use it once to defend herself in school. Thanks for such a great attitude and a wonderful story!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      American, you are very welcome and it was a great story. I eventually took karate too; guess I got tired of getting my ass thumped. I appreciate you taking the time to relate a great story.

    • teaches12345 profile image

      Dianna Mendez 5 years ago

      Good coverage on a hot topic for today's youth. I agree that we, even as adults, have to stand up for what we believe in and it sometmes requires getting a whooping (ouch!). As we continue to see the harm bullying does and alert people to how to handle it postively, I hope this deflates itself of power. Voted up!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Teaches, we can only hope that day comes when bullying stops. I am skeptical of course but in the meantime I may have to take a few more whoopings. Thank you as always.

    • Rosalinem profile image

      Rosalinem 5 years ago from Nairobi, Kenya

      Very recommendable hub.Its just sad that bullies need to control someone else to make themselves feel better about themselves.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you again Rosalinem; I greatly appreciate you stopping by each night...or day where you are of course. Peace be with you!

    • pandula77 profile image

      pandula77 5 years ago from Norway

      What a wonderful hub and it definitely remind me of my schooling days as well. However, bullying dose persist inside the persons mind, perhaps as traumatic encounters or as a vacuum where one tries to fill-in as they grow-up. Although many would be able to overcome these memories, i feel some would find it difficult to erase. I always think that parents have lot of say in how their children behave, specially when it comes to bullying.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Pandula, I couldn't agree more. The problem begins with the parents of course because no child is born with bullying tendencies...this is a learned behavior and it is painful for the victims. Thank you for your great comment.

    • fpherj48 profile image

      Paula 5 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      Bill....I too am shocked that "bullying" is still alive and thriving in this day and age, but is it realistic for us to be so surprised? Isn't this a typical "human nature" issue? I don't suggest being a nasty creep is "natural," but, that the tendency and temptation to be motivated by negative emotions that are probably "nutured" in their dysfunctional home, will always exist. Am I off-base?

      Having said this, with the use of technology, we should consider the "bully" to be more empowered to do his dastardly deeds. (and this seems to be the case)The headlines lately, talk news and even entertainment shows (eg "Glee")have created entire programs shedding light on the destructiveness (too-often, deadly) of bullying.

      In positive light,is the long over-due attention being paid to this social issue. Schools, tachers & Admin are stepping up. Programs are being implemented and necessary discussion and debate is loud & clear.

      Thankfully, more action is being taken because as with so many things in life....Human beings need to see, hear and feel the dreadful CONSEQUENCES OF UNACCEPTABLE BEHAVIOR, up close, personal and in their face!! Sad as this is, it is equally satisfying to realize prevention & solutions.

      WHO was that bully who messed with our billybuc? There's a covert HUB-MOB...we wanna pay da dude a little visit!! ..........UP+++

    • stockpicks profile image

      stockpicks 5 years ago from Chicago

      Thanks for the article. It's too bad that adults can be bullies, too. What I noticed is that those who were bullied as a kid make even worse bullies later as adults. One would hope for the opposite. I think it usually has to do with a lack of confidence.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Paula, you never cease to entertain me, with grace, humor and a sparkling wit that could cut through iron. I do agree that there is more awareness about this subject; I have such a low opinion of my fellow man that I wonder if awareness translates into positive action. I can only hope that is the case. Thank you my dear and now go have a nice walk along the stream.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Stockpicks, I have no doubt that what you say is true; lack of confidence, insecurity, they all add up to a emotional and psychological mess. Thanks for your comment.

    • fpherj48 profile image

      Paula 5 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      Get over the CREEK thing!! Do you think I'm envious that you've been with us here on HubPages for a mere 2 months, have over 340 followers and have achieved the enviable SCORE of 100 (which is basically unheard of in 2 months time?)

      OF COURSE I am not envious. I have maintained my composure and kept jealousy at bay while I continue to be the calm, rational and mature individual I have always been.

      Congratulations......POOPY HEAD DUMB DUMB...I hope your bike brakes lock and you land on your head!!!!!!!!!!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      I am literally laughing my ass off right now! Fine! I'm not jealous at all of your creek, or river, or whatever the hell you call it. It's probably some storm run-off culvert and not a real creek at all. Mature? Calm? Rational? Are we talking about Paula????? Did I eat the wrong mushrooms again???

    • stephhicks68 profile image

      Stephanie Hicks 5 years ago from Bend, Oregon

      Bullies continue to exist, unfortunately, into adulthood. I recently worked for a horrible bully of a woman (and unfortunately I have a friend who still works for her). She is passive/aggressive, completely unprofessional, and you never know "who" you are going to get on any given day. Sadly, she is in a position of power because upper management is located too far away from the regional office to truly see the extent of her actions. Nonetheless, my eyes were open a bit when we attended a social function and I witnessed her husband completely reduce her to tears. Its not an excuse for her abhorrent behavior, but definitely an explanation, as you have noted.

      Great job again, Billy - I love reading your hubs! Best, Steph

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Steph, thank you as always. You are as loyal as any follower I have and you are appreciated. Fascinating comment and oh so true about many bullies. I have seen it time and time again with students I taught; once I met the parents I understood completely. Take care and thank you!

    • Ruchira profile image

      Ruchira 5 years ago from United States

      This article not only addresses childhood bullies but the bullies hidden within adults. Unfortunately this thing does not stop in childhood.

      Wonderful topic since it touches us all in some way or the other...thanks bill.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Ruchira. I have witnessed this for far too many years and I need to do my part to bring it before the light...I appreciate you taking the time to comment this evening.

    • fpherj48 profile image

      Paula 5 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      A-HEM...excuse me, Mr. buc....what the hell I call my lovely body of water that runs along my property is a C R E E K. It's official name, in fact, is "Big Sister Creek," which is why I named my little corner of the world, "Little Sister's Acre."

      I have tried to warn you about those mushrooms. "Delusional experiences may cause images to appear smaller than actual size." A "river" is what you will cry, when I stuff your severed body parts into the "storm run-off culvert," which I understand are plentiful in Olympia.

      Please apologize to Bev in advance for me. We gotta do what we gotta do.

    • profile image

      kt 5 years ago

      bb. I was also small when younger (for some reason, I didn't stop growing until I was about 24). I was bullied, and like you, fought back, mostly getting "the stuffing" kicked out of me. One day, a boy about 4yrs older than me and weighing an easy 100lb more beat me for 3 blocks. When I got home, an uncle that was visiting took me into the back yard and started showing me things to do as well as telling me when to do them among other things. The bully continued to pick on me for the next 2 or so weeks. Then I had had enough. I beat the stuffing out of him. Then I did it the next day even worse. Today I would have gone to jail. Back then we became friends and he is still one of the people I remember as a friend first, antagonist second. His Father was abusive and made his life hell. When I told him he had really made me sad and hurt me, he started crying and apologized. My uncle said if I didn't accept the boy's apology, truly accept it then he would terrorize me. I didn't believe my uncle about that, but it was a life changing moment. I was never bullied again and stood up for many throughout the years.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Paula, what a great way to start my day, being dragged over the hot coals ignited by your lovely wit. I have never enjoyed being impaled as much as I did just now.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      kt, what a great story. I am a sucker for true life experiences and the impact they have on us the rest of our lives. Thank you for sharing this part of your personal history with me.

    • Marcy Goodfleisch profile image

      Marcy Goodfleisch 5 years ago from Planet Earth

      Excellent piece, as usual, Billy. I do recall the uproar about religion during that election. As with you, I was bullied, but not for religious reasons - I was just the one who got bullied. It's interesting to hear the outrage people express today over online bullying. Certainly that should not be happening, but it is far more pervasive than on the Internet. Thanks for the thoughtful hub.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Marcy, I so agree. I look back on what I went through and I think "they have no idea today what real bullying was like." I in no way am discounting the effects of online bullying but I also have perspective on my side. Thank you as always for dropping by.

    • fpherj48 profile image

      Paula 5 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      bill...most of the impaling I do is free. But if you continue to insist upon enjoying it, I'm afraid I'm going to have to charge you, buddy.

      A girl's gotta get by some how.........billybuc, I would never seriously hurt a single hair on your chinny-chin-chin!!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Paula, I would pay for the laughter you provide but that's all I'll pay for. A man has to have some pride!

    • fpherj48 profile image

      Paula 5 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      I can live with that....You're just in time for my "two-4-one" laugh special...I'm clearing out last year's inventory, and the warranties have lapsed, but they work fine in case of emergency........!!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Show me the catalog, Paula, and I'll order this evening!

    • Kitk33 profile image

      Kitk33 5 years ago from Iowa

      A great hub, sir. I understand what you have been through because I too went through it and to this day dispise bullies. I also, learned that, as much as I wanted to fight with my fists, I had to use my mind and think about the fact that bullies came in many different forms and ways. Some were bullied themselves, others were simply spoiled as a toddler when they would push boundaries and not recieve any sort of discipline/teaching that they could not do that; something I now teach my four year old. I think many things need to happen in order to combat bullies and that would start with proper parenting, allowing children to handle conflicts and teaching them how to handle themselves in a fight or confidence building. It used to be that boys could hash it out on the playground and they would end up letting go, but today they are kicked out of school if they so much as defend themselves; something else can be taught and that is the difference between force and violence. What I mean by that is violence is physically assaulting someone for no justifiable reason and force would be the necessary action taken to stop that assault. Many do not know the difference of these two and mistakenly think that if they were to physically defend themselves they are in the wrong.

      But as I experienced and some other commenters have said, most bullies do not like to be confronted with assertiveness and will give in eventually. In my Junior year of High School I stood up to a bully who had been pushing me around since the sixth grade; he was two years my senior but held back. Reflecting back I think it was a case of feeling threatened by my size; I had a bigger build, but had not reached full potential, until that day in high school. I was missing a calculator from my stack of books I had with me during home room in the morning. Four were at the table, this boy included. Noticing my property missing I said something to everybody there and I had my suspicions as to who took it because he immediately bellered that he did not take it. I said that I needed it back by my 2:00 math class; mentioning that I did not care who took it, just wanted it back. During my 1:00 study hall he showed up and called me into the hallway where he again, yelled at me, accussing me of calling him a liar; only in his mind. Anyway, I told him that we could fight about it but, that did change the fact that I still needed the item. He backed off but, still was bellering about it. I checked my locker before math class and the calculator was there.

      No more trouble from him after that.

      Thanks,

      Kitk

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Kitk, thank you for sharing that great story from you life. A great lesson to be learned there and I appreciate the lessons in your comments.

    • ThomasBaker profile image

      ThomasBaker 5 years ago from Florida

      I was bullied a lot when I went away to boarding school. I guess the correct word is hazing.This was not "fun" hazing. It was mean and cruel both physically and mentally. I am not sure whether it helped me later on when dealing with bully-types in business, but, to be honest with you, I have not thought about it in over 50 years.

      Tom

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Tom, I'm not sure either whether it helped me or not but I do know it no longer bothers me. Thank you for dropping by and sharing your story.

    • profile image

      Jerk 5 years ago

      This story was very useful and helpful

    • profile image

      Deandre 5 years ago

      Im a fool and Daphne's a bum.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Jerk, thank you for stopping by and commenting.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Deandre, I appreciate you taking the time to comment.

    • trish1048 profile image

      trish1048 5 years ago

      All I can say is wow! The video had me in tears. Bullying. I, fortunately, only had two experiences with it in high school. I'll try to keep this short.

      A girlfriend of mine was a bully, which I did not know back then, as the term bully wasn't in my world. However, she hated this one girl who was a grade below us. Very often, she would call this girl out to the playground for a fight.

      One day, she was due to go fight another girl at the corner sweet shop. She asked me did I want to come along, and I said sure, not knowing why she was going there. Since my dad was strict, I welcomed the chance to have a bit of time to go there and still be home before he got home from work.

      So, we went inside and she starts some crap with this girl she wanted to fight. The girl also brought a friend with her. The friend said to me, why don't you say something, you're the third party here. I just looked at her and said, shut your damn mouth you damn wop. Where that came from I couldn't tell you. I wasn't raised that way. Anyway, the next thing I remember is being outside on the ground in front of the store, with this tiny girl on top of me beating the hell out of me. I need to mention, this shop was frequented by not only the public school kids, but also the Catholic school kids. There was a huge crowd around us, and all I could hear was, look at her eye, look at her eye. She had my arms pinned to the ground and all I could do was kick my legs. Well, the guys all loved that because the tight black dress I was wearing was hiked up to my waist. I don't remember when she stopped, but once I got up, I had blood running down my face, my stockings were torn and my leg was bloody.

      All I could think was oh great, I'm now in trouble with my dad because by this time, he was home from work. Well, I walked in, my mother went into shock and started crying, and all my dad did was say, didn't you hit her back? When I told him I couldn't he just laughed and told my mom to stop crying, that I'd be fine. Well, I was. Nothing serious happened to my eye. So, this all happened on a Friday. I dreaded going back to school on Monday. When I got there, an upper classman said hey, Patty, look! He was holding a hank of my hair that the girl had ripped out of my head. I was never so embarrassed.

      Another time, in senior year, the class trip to Washington D.C. was coming up, and my friends asked me was I going. I said I didn't think so, because I couldn't afford it. Prior to the trip, this little pipsqueak of a guy, who was a bully, along with several of his friends were talking and laughing, and I caught wind of the fact that they had dumped a can of paint all over the teacher's brand new car. (They hated him, obviously). I was shocked and horrified, and, being the good girl I was, decided I was going to squeal on him. So I went to the principal and told him what happened. The boys were rightfully punished. Well, however it happened, the boys found out I was the one who squealed. So they, along with my other classmates, friends included, decided they wouldn't speak to me. I was spit at, had spit balls thrown at me in class, and was completely ignored. I went home in tears and told my mom what happened. I said I don't want to go to school, and she said to me, wisely, Patty, just go and act as though nothing happened. Be nice, say hello to them, and just ignore it. So, I put on my happy face and did what she said. After a few weeks of this treatment, one of my friends again asked me was I going on the class trip and I said no. A few days later, I got to my home room, and on my desk was an envelope. Inside was money. My girlfriend came over and said, we're sorry we were so mean to you, and want you to come on the trip. They had taken up a collection and given me this amazing gift. Was my mom right? I believe so, I simply acted as if all was ok and didn't react to their behavior, even though inside I was crying. It paid off.

      Sorry, this was longer than I thought :)

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Trish, great stories. I could tell you about my experiences with bullies but it would be in novel form. I had to fight my way home from school at least twice a week for several years. No way could I back down and face my dad if I had run. My best story, though, is about my son. I raised him alone for fourteen years and when he was in the fifth grade (at the school I was teaching) he was being bullied by this kid in his class. My son is a gentle human being but he was also the biggest kid in class. He asked me what he should do and I told him hit the kid. My son was shocked; he said he would be punished by the school and I said it was worth it.

      Next day he met the bully during recess and the kid started flipping him crap and my son picked him up, held him against the fence and told him never again! Then, while holding this kid off the ground he slapped him a couple times for good measure.

      He was never bullied again. He got punished by the school and I took him out for dinner and a movie.

      Great stories my friend; thank you so much for taking the time to share.

    • trish1048 profile image

      trish1048 5 years ago

      Hi Billy,

      I'm glad to hear his story had a good ending. I am also so sorry you had to endure that horrible treatment.

      I have heard it said, as recently as a few weeks ago, from callers to the radio station, that once they stood up to the bullies in their lives, the bully backed down.

      In any case, I don't see bullying going away, ever. And now, I'm not sure what's worse. Being bullied in person or over the internet,,,there are way too many stories these days of kids committing suicide over this crap. A very sad state of affairs, and sadly, all we can do is put up the good fight back. It's just not enough to eradicate bullying from society, I fear.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Trish, I'm tired and sore from overdoing it in the garden today but your comments are so heartfelt that they deserve an answer now rather than later. I completely agree with you that eradicating bullying is not enough. The very nature of a bully screams to me some sort of dysfunction at home, especially when the bully is a child. Kids are not born to bully; that is a learned trait and I'm not sure how we eradicate family dysfunction. Thank you my dear for the lovely comment and have a wonderful weekend.

    • trish1048 profile image

      trish1048 5 years ago

      Hi Billy,

      I'm sorry to say, I can relate to sore and tired, but not to gardening. As much as I love a garden, it's not something I ever got into. I really don't know why, either, as I spent many summers in my grandparents' gardens, as well as time on my aunt's farm in OK when I was a kid.

      I have also enjoyed my friend Sherri's gardens as well. She has been an avid gardener for many years, and I especially loved visiting her and going out to her herb garden. I thought it was the neatest thing to be able to just go out in the yard and gather fresh herbs for cooking. She has several hubs on gardening. If you haven't come across those yet, I recommend them.

      I hope you get some much deserved rest. Catch up with you later! :)

      Oh, and you're welcome.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Trish, I don't believe rest is in the cards today; more gardening after a trip to the Farmer's Market which I always enjoy. Then we'll finish our planting and there is a lawn that requires my attention...but I'll be spending the day with my love so anything is fun. Have a peaceful Easter and thank you always.

    • trish1048 profile image

      trish1048 5 years ago

      I hope you enjoyed your Easter. Mine was quiet and nice with good food and time to relax.

      Not sure what's on my agenda today other than some cleaning. I do need to spend more time here in HP though, and try to come up with something to publish.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Trish, it was a very quiet Easter; hard to tell it from another day quite frankly.

      Today is a ride and picnic in the country of course.

      I for one hope you publish a new hub soon.

      Thank you, of course, for visiting so often this morning.

      bill

    • thehonestruth profile image

      thehonestruth 5 years ago from New York

      Wow, how terrible that this has happened to you! But I'm glad you overcame it. This is a well done article :) I was wondering if I can add a link to this article from my hub ( https://hubpages.com/politics/imagainstbullyinghat... )so my readers can read yours? I think its a really good hub! I vote up for this :D

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Hello Honestruth; of course you can link this; thank you for asking and thank you for taking the time to comment. I'll do the same for you.

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