Calm the F*ck Down Bro
You don't always have to say what's on your mind
*DISCLAIMER* This article will contain material that may not be suitable for the sensitive soul. If you are one of those then this article is not for you.
Have you ever been put in a situation where you didn't know how to respond? Think with me for a minute back to a time where you said something out of emotion or anger and later thought, "Why did I even say that?" Well you are not alone, almost everyone has been there. It is called an automatic response. We all have that but only few learn to control it.
There is a secret on how to outsmart someone every time.
Imagine a place where you are surrounded by friends, you are talking and hanging out. Possibly at a restaurant or someones living room. The night is going pretty well, all conversations are flowing perfectly. Jokes are being thrown around and stories are being told. But then someone across the room said something so stupid that it caught your attention so much you couldn't focus on anything else. It was one of those comments where you wanted to slap them in the face. What did everyone else do? What did you do? All in all you decide to let it go because this person is not the smartest and you don't see a point in even mentioning anything.
A few minutes later this same person says something else, that makes you cringe. You took it wrong and feel like you started talking before even thinking about what to say. A fight breaks out. It starts small with you saying a snide comment, and them replying with an even dumber response. At this point you are boiling over and have lost all control of your actions. Wow buddy that didn't take much. But you are astounded at the audacity of this retard. Ego get's involved and you have no choice but to destroy them. Then it boiled into something that neither of you can even put your finger on. But you both keep tearing at each others throats, why? Because at this point it is not even about what was said, it just about who has got the bigger balls. So you keep barking and barking and then eventually they stop because you tore them down so much that they sunk into their self esteem and started to feel horrible. Yes! you won? OR did you. What was the fight even about? You can't even remember because you were blinded by emotion and just wanted that person to feel the pain you were feeling. That is not called winning. Being the loudest and the most hurtful does not make you a winner, calm down bro. You don't always have to be the last one to speak.
Just calm down.
Now replay the same scenario but this time you react a little different. Instead of saying anything you remain silent. This other person doesn't seem to have the ability to control their mouth so they keep going and going. They usually stop talking, once they feel that they said everything they needed to say, whether anyone was listening or not. You see they self extinguished because no one was egging them on. Sometimes that can last painfully too long. After a few minutes the situation dissolves and the subject is dropped. Now that is a much better outcome. Yeah you had to endure the nonsense babble of a fool, but you feel better knowing you didn’t let yourself get sucked in to the bullshit.
Now, instead of someone saying something random in a group, you are one on one with the same idiot as before and you both are working on a project. We already agreed that staying quiet is the best option sometimes, but what about when you are working with someone who takes the harder route. Maybe they are unaware of an easier option. Should you stay silent then? Sometimes people make their lives so hard and they really don't have to. You could tell them a easier way of doing things, or you could watch them and let them figure it out. (Some idiots never figure it out, like I mentioned in my previous article https://hubpages.com/health/Dont-Be-Stupid. It's pretty awesome, you should go read it after this).
Be an observer, go with the flow, let others do what they do.
I have found that when I am working, I used to get frustrated with people who worked harder not smarter. I couldn't fathom how they were unable to listen and comprehend like me. I would call them a dimwitted fool and tell them that they are doing too much; do it this way, it's much easier. Yes, you could do that as well, but what good would that cause? You may finish the project faster, but that won’t make the next time any better when you have to constantly remind them of an easier route. People just have to figure shit out sometimes. Now I rarely intervene. Just like the other night I was at work and somehow everyone in the group I was with misinterpreted what our instructions where. I kept thinking to myself, "That is not what she said, we don't have to do that." But I chose to keep quiet because it wasn't hurting anyone and if they wanted to go out of their way to perform a task that was only to be done on a need to basis, then I just let them. Whatever, you just got to let things go sometimes. The thing is no one else really listened to what we were told, and did not obtain any logic to compensate. Telling someone like that to listen better is like telling a blind person he needs to watch where he is going. But once they figure it out on their own, most likely it will stick. In most cases.
Oh boy here we go...
That brings me to the topic of when someone throws a tantrum around you. Have you ever had the joy of witnessing that? Well it's not pretty. I have come in contact with too many people that let the anger of others rub off on them, which results in both throwing a tantrum. It just radiates and leaks over to other people. I have seen a whole group do that before and I just sat back in my corner and observed with horror. How do people let others influence them so much like that? I can give you the magic pill on how to distinguish between your emotions and others, but I think that is for a different article.
Next time someone throws a tantrum around you try not to redirect your focus from yourself. The power is when you observe and let them do what they do. Create a bulletproof bubble around yourself and let the bullshit bounce off. Don't intervene and don't let them rev you up. You don't have to say a damn word, you can sit quietly and either ignore them or just watch. Sometimes your silence will anger them even more, which is kind of funny. Why would your tranquil body language affect them so bad? It's like a child, eventually they will wear themselves out and stop.
My point is simply this, let other people do what they do. Stay quiet and let your silence intimidate them. Don't control someone else even if you see the easy button clearly and they are blind to it. Sometimes the best thing to do is just stare and they will get themselves all worked up for nothing. That is on them not you. After a situation like that you can walk away a few inches taller knowing that you were able to control yourself and they couldn't.
This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.
© 2020 Virginia