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Coping With Grief

Updated on December 21, 2015
Grief can shatter your world.
Grief can shatter your world. | Source

The cycles of grief

 There are many theories about the stages and cycles of grief.  For each person their journey is unique.  However differently each person reacts to grief there are some distictly similar stages that each person goes through. 

Cycles of Grief

  • shock
  • denial
  • anger
  • bargaining
  • depression
  • testing (seeking realistic solutions)
  • acceptance.

Everyone needs to go through these stages.  It is natural and it is healthy.  Do not try to rush each stage, it will only lead to more depression and grief.  If you are grieving - give yourself time to heal.  Believe me, there is a dya when the pain begins to lessen and you can begin to accept having lost someone close to your heart.

Coping with the grief from loss.
Coping with the grief from loss. | Source

Coping with grief

It's important that you take steps to learn how to cope with your grief. No one can go it alone.

  • Turn to your friends and family members. They will be your biggest support system in your time of need.
  • Draw comfort from your faith. At this time your faith is an important ingredient in your life. Weather you are alone or with other people it is your greatest strength.
  • Join a support group. It is a tremendous help to talk to others who are going through or have gone through the same thing as you.
  • Take care of yourself. It will not do you or anyone else any good if you stop eating, become ill and are unable to function.
  • Face your feelings. There is nothing wrong with the way you feel. Give yourself permission to grieve and get on with the healing.
  • Express your feelings. Express them creatively by writing your memories in a journal, making a scrapbook depicting happy memories together or make a photo album including pictures of you and your lost loved one.
  • DO NOT let anyone tell you how to feel or how long to grieve. For each person the intensity of loss is different. There is no limit to how long it takes each individual to complete the grieving cycle. However, if it does go on for an over extended period of time, if you can't move on with your life, if you don't let people into your life, it can become dangerous. Which leads me to...
  • Talk to a therapist or grief counselor.

The feelings of grief
The feelings of grief | Source

Physical symptoms of grief

 Along with all of the emotional symptoms there are physical sytems to grief. 

  • fatique
  • nausea
  • weight gain
  • or weight loss
  • aches
  • pains
  • lowered immunity
  • insomnia

If these symptoms go on for an extended period of time please seek help from a grief counselor or visist your doctor.  You can make yourself seriously physically ill if it goes on too long.

Dealing With Grief Quotes

  • I'm Gone now, but I'm still very near.
    Death can never separate us.
    Each time you feel a gentle breeze,
    It's my hand caressing your face.
    Each time the wind blows,
    It carries my voice whispering your name.
    When the wind blows your hair ever so slightly,
    Think of it as me pushing a few stray hairs back in place.
    When you feel a few raindrops fall on your face,
    It's me placing soft kisses.
    At night look up in the sky and see the stars shining so brightly.
    I'm one of those stars and I'm winking at you and smiling with delight.
    For never forget you're the apple of my eye. - Mary M. Green


  • No one ever really dies as long as they took the time to leave us with fond memories. - Chris Sorensen


  • Those we love don't go away, they walk beside us every day, unseen, unheard, but always near, still loved, still missed and very dear. - Unknown


Comments

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    • KoffeeKlatch Gals profile imageAUTHOR

      Susan Hazelton 

      6 years ago from Sunny Florida

      drpastorcarlotta, thank you so much for the ratings.

    • drpastorcarlotta profile image

      Pastor Dr. Carlotta Boles 

      6 years ago from BREAKOUT MINISTRIES, INC. KC

      GREAT Writing, GREAT tips! Voted-up! God Bless...

    • KoffeeKlatch Gals profile imageAUTHOR

      Susan Hazelton 

      6 years ago from Sunny Florida

      jseven, that you for your kind comments. How sad that you were unable to grieve like a wife for your ex-husband. You were once a wife and the grief is still genuine. It sounds like you drew on your faith and surrounded yourself with compassionate people.

    • jseven profile image

      jseven 

      6 years ago from Michigan

      You've shared a helpful and balanced description of the grief stages and how we need to be in touch with our grief. I have had a lot in my life, just recently my ex-husband passed away from cancer and I was not able to grieve like a wife, even though I still loved him and he regretted the divorce. That was tough, but God helped me through others. Voted up and useful!

    • KoffeeKlatch Gals profile imageAUTHOR

      Susan Hazelton 

      7 years ago from Sunny Florida

      Fluffy, how heartwrenching it is to have to go through the grief process. For me losing a child is something I feel I will never get over. However, as your Mother does, I believe you need to pull yourself together for those who are still here on earth. You will always have the memories and they will always be there safely in your heart. Thank you.

    • Fluffy77 profile image

      Fluffy77 

      7 years ago from Enterprise, OR

      Thanks again, bookmarked this one too. We need to care for ourselves, or we are no good to those who need us so very badly. This has been an issue for me too, my sleep and even caring for my physical well being have both suffered greatly at times. Putting the needs of loved ones first, is also what my Mother does we do this together here. We need to remember our selves much more than we do, I am hoping that this day will come for us both. I hope when we loose the ones we are caring for that we can both take your beautiful advise and use it to our benefit. Thank you so very much, love and blessings to you.

    • KoffeeKlatch Gals profile imageAUTHOR

      Susan Hazelton 

      7 years ago from Sunny Florida

      True, Delores. But, as you said, it could explain some of your stanger behavior.

    • Dolores Monet profile image

      Dolores Monet 

      7 years ago from East Coast, United States

      Well wearing black might just make you look like a Goth, or make people think that you are color blind. But it sure would help for when you are out somewhere, and a tune comes on the radio (or whatever) and you burst into tears because it reminds you of your lost loved one.

    • KoffeeKlatch Gals profile imageAUTHOR

      Susan Hazelton 

      7 years ago from Sunny Florida

      Delores, I do agree people tend to do some pretty unpredictable things when grieving. It does seem to be a good idea to wear the black for a year, they seemed to have the right idea years ago.

    • Dolores Monet profile image

      Dolores Monet 

      7 years ago from East Coast, United States

      Hi, KoffeeKlatch - grief is terrible. It can make you feel like you are sick, or crazy. I have read where you should not make any big decisions while in grief because you are not thinking straight for one year! Maybe those old girls had it right when they wore black for mourning. People could then understand why they were a bit off.

    • KoffeeKlatch Gals profile imageAUTHOR

      Susan Hazelton 

      7 years ago from Sunny Florida

      Eiddwen, grieving is such a lonely journey. I thank you for your comment. I certainly will read your hub.

    • Eiddwen profile image

      Eiddwen 

      7 years ago from Wales

      This was so understanding thanks. I haven't been on HP very long and I'm looking forward to following you! Maybe you would like to read my hub 'My Beautiful Little Girl' Well done again.

    • KoffeeKlatch Gals profile imageAUTHOR

      Susan Hazelton 

      8 years ago from Sunny Florida

      Lita, I am so sorry for your loss. I like to think that maybe I can help someone relieve their grief if only a little. It's true you never tell what is going to happen, you can only take one day at a time. Thank you for your comment.

    • Lita C. Malicdem profile image

      Lita C. Malicdem 

      8 years ago from Philippines

      If I was introduced earlier into hubbing and had found this hub, when I was grieving over the untimely demise of my husband, I would not have aggravated my condition, being a diabetic. I would have followed your tips for good.

      However, we can't tell when these tips would come in use because of unexpected problems, not that I'm courting any. I'll keep the information an addition to my references for me and for others who may need them. Thank you for sharing this.

    • Lita C. Malicdem profile image

      Lita C. Malicdem 

      8 years ago from Philippines

      If I was introduced earlier into hubbing and had found this hub, when I was grieving over the untimely demise of my husband, I would not have aggravated my condition, being a diabetic. I would have followed your tips for good.

      However, we can't tell when these tips would come in use because of unexpected problems, not that I'm courting any. I'll keep the information an addition to my references for me and for others who may need them. Thank you for sharing this.

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