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Choose Your Reality

Updated on September 5, 2017
k@ri profile image

Kari was an operating room nurse for 25 years before she retired. Uplifting quotes are always wanted and Kari collects them.

What is Reality?

Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines reality as being "the quality or state of being real". This leads to the question, what is real? Some objects are "real". You can see it, feel it, smell it. Others around you will agree with what you see. If it is a chair, they will agree it is a chair. You can call it what you want, but, as Shakespeare said, "a rose by any other name would still smell as sweet". These things are real in an objective sense.

Some things in life, although just as real, cannot be touched, seen or smelt. Things like love, loyalty, happiness each have different meaning for different people. These things are not objective they are subjective. Does not having an objective independent existence make these less real than the chair you can sit on?

Reality is the essence of personal existence. While living and experiencing life our realities can change. My reality may not be your reality. Reality is more than all the objects our five senses can perceive. Reality also includes our opinions, our feelings and our morals among other things. Our reality includes both the tangible and the intangible.

What Reality do You Choose?

You already have a reality you live in. Are you happy in your reality? Are people loving and supportive, or cruel and unjust? Are you living your dream, or a nightmare? If your reality is not everything you want it to be, change it!

Many people think it is impossible to change their reality. What is real and true does not change. I say it does change. I say it depends on what you look at and notice. I say our reality is made up of all the things our five senses can perceive, and all those non-perceivable things also. How we feel about love, trust, happiness and hate color our reality.

We choose how we want to interpret the reality of our world, whether we do it consciously or subconsciously. And in our interpretation, we make our reality. If you can consciously guide what you pay attention to, your reality can change. If you just go one subconsciously paying attention to things your reality will stay the same.

What is your reality? Do you want a happy and wholesome reality. See the happy and wholesome in the world. You choose what to pay attention to. No one else can tell you what to pay attention to. You choose what to read, what to watch and who you are friends with. Do you choose consciously? Or do you choose subconsciously?

Be Thankful

Enjoy the Sunset
Enjoy the Sunset | Source

Make a Choice

I know many would say there is not anything happy or wholesome left in this world. I will tell them that there is much happiness and wholesomeness, it just depends where and how you look.

Many people focus their thoughts on all that is wrong in the world. I say focus your thoughts on all that is right. Do not focus on the bad, focus on the good. Do not focus on the ugly, focus on the beautiful. The more you focus on what you want, the more you will find what you are seeking.

If you do not consciously choose what you want to see, you will end up seeing the things the news focuses on. The news focuses on the bad and frightening because they want people to come back and see if it's still bad. When we are frightened we will remember to check back to find out if it's OK now. You do not want to focus on the bad. It is good to be aware of what is happening on a local to global level, remembering that it is not all that is happening. All around us goodness, kindness and love are happening. We just need to see it.

What is Stopping You?

We are unhappy when we think unhappy thoughts. When we think unhappy thoughts we should examine them and come to the root of what is making us unhappy. At times we may feel life is making us unhappy. We need to find out exactly what part of life is making us unhappy so we can change it.

Part of the problem is change. Most people dislike change. Better the devil you know than the one you don't. If your job is the root cause of your unhappiness, you should find another. This is a scary thought for most people. Being interviewed is an unpleasant experience to many. Putting yourself out there may result in rejection. It is hard to remember that it just may lead to acceptance and respect. Embracing change will help lead to a better reality.

We Have the Power

We think someone made us sad. Or we may think that so and so made us angry. The truth is no one can "make" you sad or angry. Others do what they do and we have no control over that. What we do have control over is how we respond. But you need to be conscious in your response. Do not subconsciously accept your feelings as correct.

The power is our own. Only we can “make” us feel something. Others can do things that may hurt us or disappoint us, but only we can decide how we want to feel. Has someone hurt you? You can either dwell on the hurt, or forgive them and move on. Did someone "make" you angry. Look at the reasons why you became angry. It may be some fallacy that you have had since being a child.

We need to examine ourselves. Examine how we think, why we think as we do, to discover the biases we learned as children. Some beliefs we hold are illogical. But, since they have been part of our reality since we were young, we have never questioned them.

I was taught self-sufficiency. I took this too far, never asking for help. I had to examine my thoughts on self-sufficiency to discover that never asking for help is illogical. I loved to help others, but I did not know how to ask for help for myself. I did not believe the others were in the wrong to ask for help. I believed that just I could not ask for help. Luckily I examined this issue and now I can ask for help.

See the Good

Our reality is made from a combination of our memories, experiences and knowledge. This is how we make our reality what we want it. As soon as we see something, hear something, smell something it becomes a memory. Most memories involve feelings alongside the tangibles. The feelings are the thread that weaves our memories and existence together.

Do you want to feel good? Then think good. Choose to think of good things. Focus on the positive influences. Remember beauty. Be thankful. You may think you have nothing to be thankful for. Here is where it is so important to pay attention to the little beauties in life. Remember that sweet smile on the child in the store. Remember the flowers growing in a yard. You need to find these little things and be thankful you were able to experience it.

Control Your Thoughts

You need to consciously choose to control your thoughts. So often we just go along, day in and day out, not realizing that we are in limbo. Remember, choosing not to choose, is still a choice. Each one of us has the power to control our own destiny. Each of us has the power to make our own reality.

Examining our thoughts and choosing our focus are not as easy as they sounds. It is difficult to remember to put your intention, your focus on what you choose. I call it training your mind. All things, all people want to take the path of least resistance. Our mind does not want to examine itself. We must consciously make our minds examine our thoughts and feelings.

Examine yourself, look for the biases and misconceptions you have held since childhood. I would not eat steak for the longest time because of a misconception. One time I read loin as lion and assumed that all steaks were lion meat. I was not going to eat lion meat! I was a teenager before I discovered my mistake. However, my dislike for steak did not instantly disappear with the knowledge. It took some time.


How will you choose? Choose a smile. It is a proven fact that smiling will make you feel better. Choose to laugh. Laughing together connects us and allows us to share. Choose happiness and make your reality. The choice is yours and only yours. Have fun!

Be Thankful

Play and have fun.
Play and have fun. | Source

Only You Can Choose Happiness!

© 2009 Kari Poulsen


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    • k@ri profile imageAUTHOR

      Kari Poulsen 

      11 years ago from Ohio

      Mr Happy, Good to see you! I haven't heard of "The Secret", but I will look it up. Cheers to you also! :D

    • Mr. Happy profile image

      Mr. Happy 

      11 years ago from Toronto, Canada

      Sounds like you read "The Secret" ... (second time I am saying that today) Cheers and thanks for writing!

    • k@ri profile imageAUTHOR

      Kari Poulsen 

      11 years ago from Ohio

      Rainshadow, Know that you will find many friends here! You have a great message and one I am looking forward to reading more about...This world needs to change! I do believe! We need to love each other, and I think truth is a great way of getting there. I am accused of being much too else is there? I am.... :D

    • rainshadow profile image


      11 years ago


      It is critical that the populations of the world understand this principle. For happiness or any change for the better we first have to beleive. It warms my heart and makes feel so much less alone to see this principle documented in your work as well as in other major writings.


    • k@ri profile imageAUTHOR

      Kari Poulsen 

      11 years ago from Ohio

      RN, I'm glad to help, thanks for the kind words!

      Christofers, Thank you sooo much! I know my heart, but (LOL) I am still learning about talent. :D

    • Christofers Flow profile image

      Christofer French 

      11 years ago from Denver

      Absolutely beautiful. You have real talent, along with your great heart.

    • profile image


      11 years ago

      I know this is true, but it's easy to forget. Thanks for the gentle reminder and thanks for the great hubs!

    • k@ri profile imageAUTHOR

      Kari Poulsen 

      11 years ago from Ohio

      G-Ma, James Watkins directed me to the same song! It is a wonderful song...but our hearts are not breaking...they are expanding! I love you! hugs and love!

    • G-Ma Johnson profile image

      Merle Ann Johnson 

      11 years ago from NW in the land of the Free

      " though your heart is even though it's aching, the sun will come shining through, if you just smile..." something like that to the song Charlie Chaplin wrote...I had almost forgotten it thanks 'James'...:O) Hugs

    • k@ri profile imageAUTHOR

      Kari Poulsen 

      11 years ago from Ohio

      Feline Prophet, I don't think people actually choose when they are not happy. I think they are not actively trying to be happy. Sometimes, we need to actively train our thought patterns to do what we want them to. Make a conscious choice, as opposed to letting the subconscious decide. :D

      Shalini, I'm glad you are smiling! Was it the "Happy Working Song"? That one always does it for me. :D

    • Shalini Kagal profile image

      Shalini Kagal 

      11 years ago from India

      Nice thought to start off the day with in this part of the world - I'm smiling :)

    • profile image

      Feline Prophet 

      11 years ago

      It's so true that we can choose to be happy...wonder why so many choose to be the opposite!

    • k@ri profile imageAUTHOR

      Kari Poulsen 

      11 years ago from Ohio

      badcompany, I'm glad you liked it! Think happy :D

      Thanks CabinGirl, Nice to see you!

      rosario, Thanks for reading! If I have to be labeled a moron to be happy, so be it, LOL! And yes, we should be moved to compassion and action when we see suffering, and it is easier to do this happy than sad. :D

      dohn, Positive thinking is very powerful. You feel better and, yes, it does motivate others! Thanks :D

    • dohn121 profile image


      11 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York

      I actually read something about positive thinking and just how powerful it can be. Positive people exude confidence...Positive people influence others to become positive people positively. The best coach isn't necessarily the best strategist but the best motivator. Thanks K@ri.

    • rosariomontenegro profile image


      11 years ago from NEW YORK

      K@ri, I'm just starting to read your work, and I chose to read this hub first. How inspired I was!

      I remember a famous journalist said years ago, 'those who are happy are morons ... just look at the world!'

      Such sad point of view!

      Of course one should be moved to compassion and action when seeing other's sufferings but to become unhappy ourselves does not solve the problem, it adds to their suffering.

      Thank you for the good advice, look into what is good ... and also ... do what is right today, it might be your last chance ... Thank you.

    • k@ri profile imageAUTHOR

      Kari Poulsen 

      11 years ago from Ohio

      Thanks James! Make your reality! And smile :D

    • James A Watkins profile image

      James A Watkins 

      11 years ago from Chicago

      I have the power! I am thinking good thoughts; I am smiling. I feel good. Thanks for the upbeat piece.

      Charlie Chaplin wrote a great song called "Smile" once. "Smile when your heart is aching, smile . . . "


    • k@ri profile imageAUTHOR

      Kari Poulsen 

      11 years ago from Ohio

      Invictus, I'm glad you like it. It is within our power to make our reality!

      May, The dolphins needed to be brought to the light...but so does this. We do make our reality and I think you know that! You are a wonderful person and I would like your reality to match!

      G-Ma, Thanks and I am glad I could share a new cheerfulness with you. You always have been and continue to be one of my inspirations. You are an amazing and loving person, never change! Hugs back!! :D

    • G-Ma Johnson profile image

      Merle Ann Johnson 

      11 years ago from NW in the land of the Free

      That was great and I had never seen that clip before..amazing...cheerfull and well done my dear...:O) Hugs G-Ma

    • mayhmong profile image


      11 years ago from North Carolina

      I'm always thinking positive whenever I read your hubs! Unless it was something awful like the dolphin incident.

    • I*n*v*i*c*t*u*s profile image


      11 years ago

      Awesome, k@ri! so true! :)

    • k@ri profile imageAUTHOR

      Kari Poulsen 

      11 years ago from Ohio

      tony, You may get caught up in it, but it seems you try to change it to the reality you want...Glad I could provide a little inspiration! Hugs to well and stay well!

      wesley, Good to see you! I'm glad you liked it! :)

      jill, Yes, we do choose and in choosing we make it. Just like in Enchanted. ;D

      beautyrose, I agree, we are what we think. We must be what we want to see.

      Patti, It is possible...we just have to choose and train ourselves to see it! :)

    • Patti Ann profile image

      Patti Ann 

      11 years ago from Florida

      Great article. It is so true - I believe that we do create our own paths in life. It is possible to create any life that you want.

    • beautyrose profile image


      11 years ago

      I think if we want good things of this world it must first come from each one of us.

    • jill of alltrades profile image

      jill of alltrades 

      11 years ago from Philippines

      "You chose what to pay attention to". How right you are K@ri! We can really chose our own reality.

      By the way, I enjoyed the movie "Enchanted" too!

    • wesleycox profile image


      11 years ago from Back in Texas, at least until August 2012

      This is a great message K@ri. It is inspiring for many. Thank you for sharing this.

    • tony0724 profile image


      11 years ago from san diego calif

      K@ri this Is something I need to be reminded of constantly ! As you know from my more political hubs I can tend to get caught up In the quagmire that Is modern life . So every now and again I need a little Inspiration to keep me up ! Thank you for providing a reminder . Be well my friend !

    • k@ri profile imageAUTHOR

      Kari Poulsen 

      11 years ago from Ohio

      LOLOLOL, Queen of Lint! Yes, the house could always be cleaner and we could always be thinner...but is reality so bad? You seem like someone who knows...reality is made to be taken...You can try to take it...but usually it takes you!

    • Queen of the Lint profile image

      Queen of the Lint 

      11 years ago from The Laundry Room

      I'm going to start writing the lyrics for the song about how all my creditors have gone away and everyone at work just wants to be nice and - well, that's about it, since I pretty much like the rest of my reality I guess. But those parts suck (pardon the expression). Well, I could be thinner. And the house could be cleaner. But other than that I like reality. Pretty much

    • k@ri profile imageAUTHOR

      Kari Poulsen 

      11 years ago from Ohio

      lxxy, You rawk! The message is one people need to pay attention to. We need to realize we have the power, we can make our reality, we can do it if we so decide. I make my reality and it is good! :D

    • lxxy profile image


      11 years ago from Beneath, Between, Beyond


      Love the vid, too...and the pix..all are awesome. =D Great message K@ri, you rawk.

    • k@ri profile imageAUTHOR

      Kari Poulsen 

      11 years ago from Ohio

      Tom, When I was growing up we had a saying..."You make your own action", LOL, I still believe it! Always do today what you can! :D

    • k@ri profile imageAUTHOR

      Kari Poulsen 

      11 years ago from Ohio

      Queen of Lint...Maybe you should burst into song when they come around...It would make you feel better and most likely make them think you are unstable...they may stay away...LOL good them this hub...tell them, "I thought you could use this." LOLOL (they may not speak to you again!)

      Sandman, You make your are one of my inspirations! I am very, very glad you liked it! :D

      KCC, Glad to see I am in some VERY good company! We do and we can, Thanks! :D

    • Tom Cornett profile image

      Tom Cornett 

      11 years ago from Ohio

      I loved this...My dad use to say "be kind today, you might not get the chance tomorrow"...Thanks K@ri :)

    • KCC Big Country profile image


      11 years ago from Central Texas

      I'm a HUGE believer in each of us creating our own reality! Great stuff, k@ri!

    • profile image


      11 years ago

      Great Hub as usual my friend. I really in reality liked it :-)

    • Queen of the Lint profile image

      Queen of the Lint 

      11 years ago from The Laundry Room

      I recently sat my mom down to watch Enchanted and she loved it. We both always try to choose the nice reality. Oh, and I was raised in a family where bursting into song like that is completely normal. Remember the scene in My Best Friend's Wedding? Yeah. We'd do that.

      But what do I do when there's someone always trying to bring me down? (work person). I'm starting to feel worn out from maintaining my upbeat attitude. Those negative vibes are insidious.


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