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Let the Games Begin!
Just the other day I was having a discussion with my father.
I’m not even sure how we got onto topic, but we did. He began by saying something like this, “if you have arthritic pain, you simply need to consume gin and raisins to rid yourself of the pain.”
We’ll being a bit cynical, I said, “Would that remedy concoction have anything to do with urban legend half truths as opposed to medical fact?”
He looked at me perplexed, pondered momentarily without missing a beat and a gaze only a father can give a son… “You doubt my wisdom boy?”
Of course body language is one thing and the verbal civility was more to the tune of, I don’t know why it works, it just does…
“I should let it go, but I don’t.”
I want to give him the benefit of the doubt. I know there’s wisdom somewhere in this home remedy concoction and I’m anxious to credit him on healthy benefit points. I should just leave this one alone, but I can’t.
Okay, I bite and continue staying on topic. Unknowingly, he’s got me hook, line and sinker. Just waiting to be reeled in, baked in butter, with a touch of lemon and light seasoning to taste.
“I can see how raisins may be of benefit. After all grapes have many pain relieving, anti-inflammatory, anti-oxidant and anti-arthritic chemicals.” “Raisins are grapes void of hydration. So, it makes sense that raisins would be highly concentrated with these chemicals. I see the pain alleviation benefits of the “white” raisins.”
I give him credit for this… He wins, dad up by one.
It is obvious he smells victory of wisdom passed onto son. Now he’s smiling as he settles back into his easy chair. I also can tell he’s impressed with my knowledge of grape/raisin health-pain alleviation benefits. He reciprocates and credits me “partially” for my insightfulness by saying “that’s probably “a” factor in the remedies results.”
“I’m thinking, “Damn straight!” “A BIG factor!”
“Why does there always have to be a however?” “Because there just does.” Brain… Stop thinking so much, move on!
I just couldn’t leave it alone even when I know what was ultimately to come. The conversation just couldn’t end there. I’m thinking what about the gin? For God sake, “let’s talk about the gin!”
He then began to focus on another issue that was on his mind, and then the phone rang abruptly. I remember thinking, I’m losing him… MUST GET TO THE BIG QUESTION… After all, how else would this be a balanced dialog otherwise?
I waited patiently for a couple of minutes as he had a short conversation over a pressing matter. Then his phone conversation ended. “Impatiently he senses,” I bring him back on topic.
He looks at me and says, “You’re bringing that up again?” “I thought we were done with that.”
“What, you don’t want to discuss the most important ingredient?” No way was I going to let this one slip by and he knew it too. After all, he hooked me. It was planned. I didn’t disappoint him.
You have to understand; now it’s a competition thing between father and son.
I know I can get a bone out of this conversation on the gin issue. Because I know, no way in hell gin can be healthy for the body. I know this, you know this, 99.9% of the world knows this… But apparently, a lot of people are sold on gin and raisins to alleviate arthritis pain, because this information is littered all over the Internet. That tenth percentile “if that’s the number” is a big population of believers.
He knows inherently, “I sense” the gin part is stretching the remedy property benefits, but doesn’t want to give me my dues.” It’s hard on the “Wiseman” to admit the concoction may not be completely healthy for the body. I’m not sure if he actually believes the gin part himself, but he won’t budge on the possibilities that the white raisins are the biggest pain alleviation benefit of the concoction.
I manage to get back on topic like white on rice. As I continue my quest for balanced dialog victory, I more or less begin to chuckle with him because he knows I’m not going to let this go.
I restated, “I understand the benefits of the raisins, but what about the gin benefits?” He then said with a grin and mannerisms characteristic of a true showman like Paul Harvey, “I don’t know why it works, but it sure taste good going down.”
Apparently, this home remedy was first broadcast by Paul Harvey (popular radio personality) in early 1990’s. Now mind you… Paul Harvey did not make that statement, “that was my father.”
The conversation continued with me making a statement of fact with regard to the health risks associated with the gin component. “I don’t think he wants to hear this, but I press on.”
“The bad aspect of alcohol is, if you consume too much, it can trigger a bad case of gout. Not to mention, other obvious disease that can occur if you become a frequent consumer of alcoholic beverages.” But in moderation, it appears the consensus is consumption of alcohol can relieve some arthritic pain. He “again” nodded in favor of my insight, indicating he agreed with what I said. So he threw me a bone, but he still wins…
I think, “This is not working real well in my favor of winning key points with him.”
As I’m saying these things, I’m also thinking “yah if you drink enough you’ll just pass out and not feel a thing.” I leave this off the table. He smells victory. I see it written all over his smug face. But I maintain my civil posture.
“There’s that word again.” This word is beginning to feaster a now apparent and noticeable twitch in my right eye from over thinking a winning tactic on topic. I wonder if he detects this weakness in my right eye, “I back up so it’s not obvious just in case.” I sense he senses my weakness to continue on topic… But I don’t think he sees the twitch. I’ve still got a shot for a conversational victory.
Only dad’s can work this kind of magic to manipulate a psychosomatic brain-body nervous twitch response. They plan this and when it occurs, they know their close to victory… They see it, they smell it.
I digress, I continue on… If the remedy calls for soaking white raisins in gin until the gin evaporates… And then eat 7-9 raisins a day for best pain relief effect; I can see how there could be a pain relief benefit because of grape chemical benefits. Also, recall red wine is concentrated with Resveratrol which is heart healthy, cholesterol reducer, centurion secret etc.,. “I leave this fact out… Not relevant to topic "I can't win points with this insight at this stage of the game… But I think it.”
On the flip side, if a person is taking the white raisins as a condiment in their martini… “This may present a huge problem.” He looked at me, thought about what I said, and of course had to say, “Wait for it…” “Who in their right mind would drink gallons of gin with raisins as condiments? “That’s ridiculous.”
This is where I realize, he could win this one.
I state, now getting very impatient, “apparently lots of people!” I think my twitch is getting worse and I’m going to now blow an eye socket, especially with where I have to go next. I should stop but can’t…
The following is from the very beginning of the discussion with my father, "through me" now divulged to you “the reader,”
I remind him, aren’t you the one that told me during the fall season gin and raisins are breaking all types of sales records? Didn’t you lead me to believe people are guzzling gin and raisins to alleviate arthritic pain during the cold spells that trigger arthritic pain?
He didn’t budge, or answer me… He only chuckled, and then breaks into a loud roaring laughter.
“Didn’t you say that?”
“Come on… Admit you said that.” “Stop laughing and answer the question.”
To tell you the truth I was laughing just as hard cause I think I got him boxed into a win for son. Alas, this was not to be the case.
Wait for it… “He riffles back, as he’s rolling in victorious glory, ‘where do you come up with this stuff?”
Gee dad, “I don’t know you lead me to believe people were drinking gallons of gin with raisins in martini glassware during the cold spells to alleviate arthritic pain.”
“I’m tired now, are you through?”
“Are you kidding me?” “You’re going to deny you said that?
He just sits there pondering where I’ll go next, posturing like royalty grinning from ear to ear.
I make this painless and quick.
“Yah, I’m through.” Check mate.
He wins as usual.