2 Powerful Tips on How to Reduce Fear
Fear will Master you, if You don't Master it
Everyone Feels Frozen in Fear at One Point or Another
Fear is like being trapped in a freezer with no way out. You feel like you're frozen. Stuck in a box without a key and unable to move. Unable to free yourself from its grip.
What to do? Stare at it in the straight in the eye. Fear is an emotion you should face head on and not run from. Because if you run, fear becomes your master.
Besides, not only does fear cost you self-trust it also causes havoc in relationships, career and social life. For example: “I am afraid if I do something wrong, I won't be liked”.
Fear feels real but it is not. In fact it is an illusion. If you don't learn to master your fears you will not achieve anything.
Don't Let fear Define You
Fear causes all of us one major inherent problem.
1. Fear is an acronym. FEAR means False Events Appearing Real. The problem with fear is that it is the process of predicting or projecting the future. If you did not know no one can predict the future. If you could predict the future then you would always know all your behaviors and reactions before they happened and could over ride them. Your life would be filled with no excitement, anticipation. hope or surprise.
Don't Let fear define you, Define yourself through living in the moment. Don't project or predict on what might happen. The truth is that 99% of everything you predict never comes true. Clearly fear won't get where you want to go, what you want or keep you safe. Fear only keeps you stuck. Fear only keep you projecting about the future that has not come yet and won't come true as well as keep you out of the moment. Think about this, the moment is all we really have. So just enjoy it.
How does Fear serve Us?
Fear is used by many to distance them from the moment. If a person is unhappy with what is happening in their lives they go into fear mode. A general theme with many who are fearful is wrapped by this one statement; "If I am in fear of what might happen then I do not have to deal with my life now." Fear becomes an excuse not to face or experience what is happening now. Worry is another process that supports fear. Growing up I always hear about "worry warts". In fact worrying is a thought addiction (thought looping or excessive-habitual focusing on something that won't happen) which propagates fear.
Fear causes a distortion of your reactions
Improve your ability to perform by focusing on the action to perform a task not the end result. Gain clarity of thought through having no expectations of the future. With no expectations, anything that happens good will be a luxury.
I wrote an article not long ago on depression where I stated that life depression is the result how your perceive how you perceive you should have or didn't perform in a life situation. I put forward the idea that depression and performance were tied together. I define depression as "anger turned inward because you are angry with yourself for not performing to your or someone else's expectations". When depression sets in you usually withdraw and do nothing. Symptoms of depression such as anxiety, fear, isolating, sadness, withdrawing, over expecting, under assessing your accomplishments,stress and worry over abounds. Core beliefs such as "I should have...I could of…" take over your mind. So when in a state of depression the emotional instinct is to “shut down” or “stop doing” due to the fear. Your fear might be that you are displaying weaknesses or someone will you as ineffective or “doing wrong”.
Fear causes us to over or under react in our life
Even the best and strongest of us humans have weaknesses. Everyone perceives they have weakness at one time or another in their lives which then can develop into fear.
The other night I happen to turn to a popular night TV program and caught an interview with Dave Pelz. Dave Pelz is a one of golf’s most respected sports coaches. He has coached 10 of the top golf professionals who have earned a combined 20 titles. As a coach, Dave was instrumental in helping Phil Mickelson improve his short game therefore working through his fear. Phil Mickelson went on to win the 2010 coveted Masters Championship.
Mr. Pelz increased his ability to become a more successful golfing coach from extensive research into fear. He discovered through a survey he conducted that when a professional golfer, no matter how good the golfer is at the game of golf, when the golfer get within a 100 feet of the pin, they all question and doubt their ability to successfully execute and close out the hole.
Mr. Pelz found in his study that all professional golfers perceives weakness at the 100 foot point. At that 100 foot point of the cup the golfer's fear begins to grow. What makes a champion golfer is what he or she does with that surfacing fear from that distance. At that distance, a golfer’s mind begins to distort judgment, heart races and body tenses. The golfer has a normal response of “flight or fight”. The golfer’s blood pressure and respiration increases, his or her hands will starts to sweat and thoughts begin to race. This physical reaction will then cause the golfer's muscles to tighten, and vision distort. The golfer’s skill decreases and the end result is that the golfer will overshoot or undershoot their golf shot.
The same thing happens to everyone in their everyday life when faced with pressure to perform. At that point FEAR sets in and we either overreact or underreact.
Time spent in fear.
How much time do you spend afraid?
What can you learn from professional golfers?
I conveyed this story as an example that when anyone who is faced with performance issues in life, the same process occurs. Everyone has submerged core beliefs about his or her weaknesses or inadequacies that formed from experienced childhood experiences. So in current life situations when under stress or pressure to perform any task these old embedded core beliefs will surface into your conscious mind and strongly influence how you will act, feel, react, or think.
Everyone believes that if they do not perform well enough or good enough then they will be embarrassed, rejected or be perceived as less than in other's eyes. These old core beliefs then govern your response in ways you would not react normally if you were performing from a stance of confidence. Confidence and ability to perform at high performance levels stems from strong skills. How do you get strong skills, you practice, practice and more practice.