Assertiveness Test - Rate Yourself on Assertiveness
What to Do When Conflict Happens
Do you say "yes" when you mean "no"? Do you keep your opinions to yourself for fear of upsetting or starting an argument with others? Find out if you stand up for yourself as much as you should with this test.
Being assertiveness is being able to communicate one's own thoughts, opinions and wishes in a clear, direct and non-aggressive way.
This Assertiveness Test determines whether a lack of assertiveness skills may be keeping you from fulfilling your potential and reaching your goals. Please examine the following statements and indicate how often or to what degree you agree with the statement.
Rate yourself from 1-10 on the following question, with 1 being low and 10 being high. For example: “I let others tell me what to do.” If you never let others boss you around, give yourself a 10. If you let others tell you what to do about half the time, give yourself a 5.
1. I often have a difficult time saying NO.
2. I often let people take advantage of me.
3. I often hesitate in expressing my opinion.
4. Talking to people of higher authority makes me feel anxious, nervous or uncertain of myself.
5. I often feel lack of confidence.
6. I don’t express my opinions for fear that others in the group disagree with me.
7. I often don’t know what to say to attractive persons of the opposite sex.
8. I often hesitate to make or accept dates because I am afraid.
9. I find it hard to tell someone that I have romantic feelings for him or her.
10. I avoid confronting other people when they hurt me.
11. I avoid dealing with difficult situations that involve confrontation.
12. If a close and respected relative is annoying me, I smother my feelings rather than express my annoyance.
13. I avoid asking questions for fear of saying something stupid.
14. I usually avoid an argument, I am afraid that I will get so upset, I will shiver.
15. I find it hard to take a compliment.
16. I prefer not to criticize others, even if I am certain that they are wrong.
17. When I accomplish something important, I hide it from others so I won’t feel embarrassed.
18. When the food served at the restaurant is not done to my satisfaction, I will not send it back. I either just eat it or leave it.
19. If a salesperson has gone to considerable trouble to show me merchandise that is not quit suitable, I have a difficult time saying No.
20. I often avoid returning merchandise because I am afraid and embarrassed.
21. I avoid arguing over prices with clerks and sales people.
22. I am not comfortable asking my boss for a raise, even if I think I deserve it.
23. I feel threatened when dealing with assertive person.
24. Opinionated people make me feel uncomfortable.
25. I put others need ahead of my own.
If you found yourself answering more than 15 of the above questions with a low number, it is time to work on your assertiveness.
In the next article below, I talk about how to be assertive without being aggressive, the differences between the two.
- How is Assertiveness Different from Aggressiveness
AGGRESSIVENESS Some people in their effort to become more assertive become excessively dominant or aggressive instead. People who behave aggressively seek for attention by expressing their anger and...