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How To Deal With It When Others Use Your Issues Against You.

Updated on January 28, 2014

Some men and women can handle the hardship and some cannot.

There is no water in the 110 degree heat between here and there. Some take on the challenge willingly.
There is no water in the 110 degree heat between here and there. Some take on the challenge willingly. | Source

It is going to happen, be ready.

There was a man I knew who was an athlete and trained very hard. He seldom lost at any physical competition. "How To Deal With It When Others Use Your Issues Against You". So you let some family members know a weakness. And that is what they throw at you for any and every reason that there may be problem between you. If you do not think life sometimes sucks, think again.

Just suppose I know another man that is Menza level stuff, over 155 IQ (who cares how accurate that is) The dude is real smart. And what he spends most of his time doing is thinking. Really. And so when there is a problem between he and others they always throw at him that he is poor and eccentric.

The first man is made stronger by the more weight he lifts and the harder he runs. The second man is made stronger by how he does not let others weigh him down.

I hope that the news comes through on this before the song.

Sorry for the bad news. We are all equal in the eyes of the creator. But we do not do equal things. Close that gap by moving upward.

Why must we love to tear down those we cannot move as well as? We are becoming a tear down and not a build up world community. We need to change that.

We all want it to be done by doing good things -- one on one or in massive displays of group love. But it does not only work that way. Those who are torn down by media, social media, each other and by loved ones need a plan of attack to counter the negative and be Victorious and not victims.

Those of us who get the slings and arrows must be the best they can be and raise up when crushed by the world.

So a man was sitting in a bar, clearly a heavy drinker, clearly a man of means. And as I watched being the bartender in a small place in Vermont, I watched his actions and words. A woman was on her third Manhattan at the end of my bar, masquera running and just barely not sobbing. The man was besotted to be sure but moved as though that were normal for him. No slurred speech and eloquent movement.

He approached the lady and sat down and ordered appetizers and two bottles of Perrier. She was on my radar for protection yet I felt no danger to her from this man. Of course I moved to her ear furthest from the man and asked if it was OK with her. A look that made clear, "I am fragile but I want the company". The man did a strange thing indeed and pulled out his wallet and his car keys and his cell phone. Then he looked at me and said: "keep those until we all feel comfortable".

Of course the husband stormed in just then. Anger was seen a dark bar away and it was impossible to miss the tape covering fist fighting bruises and contusions on his left hand but not his right. Now a quick look to the makeup that was now cleared by tears by the fine lady. And clearly a left backhand mark could be delineated. I grabbed my Billy and a beer bottle in my left hand, but our drunk interloper was quicker.

Just looking into the mirror in back of the 45 foot bar he did not move but spoke loud enough for the whole bar to hear. "I will not stop you from laying a hand on this lady. But if you do, I will kill you!". Because he was facing me and I knew who was who I knew he just said that. But to all others it was just a large booming baritone that filled the room with truth.

On learned that on that day I was no longer holier than the drunks I served. That we must judge people by their actions and not by what we see as weaknesses. I horrible disease like bi-polar or addictions does not make a person bad. Judge the actions and not the man.

That boy loves that man no matter what.

Perhaps the man or the boy have weaknesses. Perhaps as life unfolds they can learn from each other's.
Perhaps the man or the boy have weaknesses. Perhaps as life unfolds they can learn from each other's. | Source

We hope this hub means nothing to you. That you have no weakness.

Are there weaknesses others use against you even though they are irrelevant?

See results

The pros and cons of letting others in.

Guess what, I have bad and good news for you. Regardless of your sharing or decision to keep things for yourself, others know.

Just think about that for a moment. You cannot and will not hide your weaknesses for long.

This author just gave up. And now I just use my weaknesses to draw others either closer or off track. You see as a business man. I am not required to disclose all things to all people.

Here is the simple kind of equation we use. Expose the weakness in order to bond and trust. Or expose the weakness to divert attention. In fact a weakness shown is the best way to see weakness in a competitor or adversary. One of the finest military strategists ever wrote a book "Art of War". Probably many helped to write it over centuries. Sun Tzu. He makes it clear to show a weakness in order to draw and enemy thereto and then you can beat him with your strength.

We decide what is beautiful.

How captivating.
How captivating. | Source

So let us rest and be of good victory.

The challenge is on. And it is good. "Can we proceed without being wholly confident?" No we cannot. Pride and Ego will weigh us down. So how do we deal with it?

We end up loving the person trying to put us down. No I do not mean that in the "poor pitiful me" way. I mean that in Agape and brotherly love way. We can do it.

If they are using something so hurtful against us, how bad do they hurt?

We are only speaking to those with something special here. If you got nothing at all to contribute move along and feel that way. But I do not know anyone who feels that way or is that way.

Peace be upon all who read and love.

Let us put this baby to bed.

Life is brutal and all the sudden you are given money, or talent or wisdom. Not even your choice. Well those who knew you when you were down change.

Dig deep and remember it is not about you but love is about the other and you did not lose that with your great good fortune.


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    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      4 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Nadine it is always a pleasure to have you visit and comment. I think you and Bill radiate the love like a force field of good. I have not figured out yet how it goes around the world on the internet. Probably it just goes around the world and so does the internet ;-)

    • Nadine May profile image

      Nadine May 

      4 years ago from Cape Town, Western Cape, South Africa

      This is a very deep topic. Great hub. Like Billy I now surround myself with love.

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      4 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Thanks much Mari

    • profile image


      4 years ago

      Great article Eric! Wonderful song choice to start of this day. Thanks for the insight & Beautiful pictures!

      Continued Blessings!

    • profile image


      4 years ago

      great hub, eric, thank you!

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      4 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      We certainly do grow into our skin. Comfort is found in knowing we are just who we are. Thank you Bill.

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 

      4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      It happened in the past; now I surround myself with love. :)


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