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How to Give a Damn

Updated on October 26, 2017


Have you found yourself ‘in a rut’ lately? Do you feel you’ve lost your sense of purpose? Have you busted your ass trying to succeed at something only to find that you’ve ended up right where you started? Are you giving up? Do you find yourself just going through the motions of the day? A walking zombie with nothing left to live for?

Maybe you just have a “I don’t give a damn attitude?” Well, I’m here to help. It’s time we get back to the basics. It’s time people start giving a damn again.

Step One: Wake Up

Yes. Wake up and get out of the bed or off the couch. Maybe take a shower and put on some clothes? I don’t care if you don’t have anywhere to go, just do it. I promise you will feel better and even find that you WANT to leave the house today. If you are a woman, you know we can’t resist “being all dressed up with no place to go” and that probably rings true for the men, too, though they won’t admit it. Get yourself all pretty and get your butt out of the door. It’s a good hair day, you’ll find just going to the grocery store will be rewarding. If you look good, you’ll feel good too. Trust me.

Step Two: Eat Something GOOD

There’s a reason they label some meals “soul food” and I believe any good meal is good for our soul. Filling our bellies gives us a ‘thankful fill’. You can even try preparing the meal yourself. Oh, and do you want to make the meal even better? See Step Three

Step Three: Invite Someone To Eat WITH You

The only way to make a meal better and touch your soul through your taste buds and belly is to share the meal with another person. Invite someone out to eat with you. Find a place you both have never been, but want to try. OR! Here’s an idea: Invite them to your home to eat with you. I don’t know about you, but when I find myself in one of these, “I don’t give a damn’ ruts, I also find my home in a mess. This you may not notice until after Step One. Look around. If you haven’t given a thought to anything else in your life for a while, chances are your house is a mess, too. What will give you the motivation to get up and clean it? Invite someone over!! You’ll find yourself scrubbing and putting things away in no time. And a neat and clean environment, makes you feel good inside too. Trust me.

On a side note: The person you invite doesn't have to be a potential “date” for you, either. This could be a relative, an old friend you've found on Facebook, or a neighbor. The best thing to do? Look around at the people in your life and find someone that seems to not give a damn either. This person needs this as much as you do.

Step Four: Make a Choice

You're making progress. I hope you feel slightly better.

Now, ask yourself this, "Who’s been holding you back?"

The answer is yourself! I know that people can be driven by others and circumstances into these 'don't give a damn' ruts, but ultimately it is up to ourselves to dig our way out of it. Other people. Circumstances. We can decide whether we let them affect us. Decide today to stop letting them.

Step Five: Do Something Nice and Unexpected For Someone ELSE

You may have already done this when you invited a neighbor over for dinner. Maybe at that time your goal was for YOU to feel better. Your invitation might have meant so much to that person. Did you talk? Did you listen? You may have found that you weren't the only one who benefited from the dinner. This is a good start. Maybe you should do it again sometime.

Doing something nice and unexpected doesn't have to be a big production. Pay attention to people around you. This could be as simple as reaching for an item on a high shelf for another customer in the grocery store, picking up an item that someone dropped, holding the door open for someone, or letting them into traffic. Simple, small acts of kindness, goes a long way. It’s also contagious.

Very Important !

Everyone wants the same thing. We all want to be treated with kindness and compassion. Yet, We only GET what we GIVE. I promise you, start putting out more good in the world, push yourself to not give up, and give a damn about someone other than you, and you might find yourself “getting your groove back”.

Too many of us find ourselves in these ruts and we wait around for something or someone to come to our rescue. We want big changes. Instant results. But, YOU are your own captor. Don’t forget that.

Authors Note:

If you related to the person who doesn't give a damn anymore, but just can’t find the strength to get up of the couch. If this actually touched you, but you still feel empty inside, there IS still hope.

You may not want to hear it, but clinical depression is also a real illness. Don’t be ashamed to talk to your doctor about some help. Don’t be afraid to ask a friend or family member for help either. No one can help you if you don't ask for it.

© 2012 Kelly Pittman


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    • KellyPittman profile imageAUTHOR

      Kelly Pittman 

      3 years ago from South Louisiana

      Hi M. I don't think you're pathetic. I'm sorry to hear that's you've spent so long feeling this way. Truly I am no professional. I wrote this about myself. I spent a long time just being 'down' but in my case, my depression stemmed from circumstances. There were SOME things I found I could actually change or do to move forward and I found others in the same boat that just needed a little reminder that sometimes it's ourselves holding us back not just our circumstances. That being said, I want you to know that I considered removing this hub because I know some people are in a different place than 'just a rut'. I don't want my words to bring anyone farther down that they already are. If there's anything I can do to help you, please email me privately. I'm a good listener if anything. And i still battle depression daily. I'd be happy to be your pen pal. I'm leaving this hub published a little longer in hopes that you will see this and contact me.

    • profile image

      3 years ago

      So what about when youre thirty but you've "been in a rut" since you were 5 and have tried everythig suggested by counselors, doctors, articles, friends. is there anything that really works long term. Suicide i think on every day but i also think i would fail at that too. How pathetic.

    • profile image


      6 years ago

      ya know, I might just use this advice..I mean my house is a mess...and I decided that I must really not give a shit, because I am not being me or doing anything I like... I mean was it really that long ago that I took all the money I had and gave it to some poor guy on the street? Holy crap is it really the 18 of february? better wake up I guess...zoombie mode off

    • KellyPittman profile imageAUTHOR

      Kelly Pittman 

      8 years ago from South Louisiana

      Thanks! I =) That's my favorite line too. I remind myself of that often.

    • profile image


      8 years ago

      Hi there! You should teach my coping skills group. This hub was awesome!!! I like the line; "YOU are your own captor:! So true!!!

    • Wesman Todd Shaw profile image

      Wesman Todd Shaw 

      8 years ago from Kaufman, Texas

      Great advice!!!!

      I had a mini rut like that yesterday - I just felt so bad, as if someone close to me had died or something....couldn't land on any one single reason why I felt that way, but luckily it was gone today! :-)

    • sassydee profile image


      8 years ago from los angeles, ca

      well good food as in healthy or tasty

    • WillStarr profile image


      8 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

      Sage advise! I like it.

    • Jeremy Pittman profile image

      Jeremy Pittman 

      8 years ago from walker la

      sassy i would agree with you but if you notice she said to eat GOOD food. while it is possible to overeat good food, it's much more difficult to wind up obese from eating GOOD food.

    • KellyPittman profile imageAUTHOR

      Kelly Pittman 

      8 years ago from South Louisiana

      Haha. You're right, except I hope they would catch on to the 'sharing' part, thus taking in a smaller quantity and to be up and about instead of stuck on the sofa. But here's a clause to readers, don't eat yourself to death either! Thanks for the read!

    • sassydee profile image


      8 years ago from los angeles, ca

      cool totally agree except for the fill the bellies with food, that's how people get really fat sometimes when they are depressed!


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