How To Pretend To Be Someone You're Not
Despite the suggestive title of this article, you should never pretend to be someone you aren’t. It is a dangerous game and one that always leads to trouble in the end. As such, this article is one of more of a satirical nature. So, here are some ways you might pretend to be someone you’re not:
Spend lots of money you don’t really have.
Rather than pinch pennies and save for what you would like to buy, borrow large amounts of money, then blow it. Better yet, flaunt it in front of all your friends and family, to give them the impression that you are rich beyond measure.
Become a totally different person when you leave your home.
Nobody wants to know how you really act in private. So put on a good front when you step out into the public eye. Pretend to be someone different. Act different. Talk different. If you are normally an angry person, plaster a huge fake smile on your face. Nobody will ever know the difference.
Ask someone a question, then pretend like you care about their response.
One of the best facades to wear is concern or care for others. Even though you really couldn’t care less about their problems, ask someone a very specific question, then pretend like you are about them. After they’ve confided in you, call at least five people you know and gossip about the juicy news you’ve just received first-hand. You’ll quickly become very popular around town.
Never, ever let anyone see the real “you.”
No matter what else you do, never let anyone know who you really are. If they ever knew, they would not like you and probably wouldn’t never talk to you again. Just keep pretending to be someone you aren’t.
This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.
© 2008 Hope Wilbanks