How to Begin Forgiveness, Letting Go and Healing
Forgiveness and letting go is a process. We can also call it “healing”.
Unfortunately, it does not happen overnight!
The process will be different for everyone; there is no one perfect route to it. But no matter how long it takes, do it.
Forgive and eventually move on. There is hope.
I will speak of a few ways I have personally found elemental in my process of forgiveness, letting go and healing. I’ll have to say though, that it is not fool-proof. Along the way we may, trip again, slow down or have a long pause in between. Those are part of the deal. It’s all right.
Here are 3 things I personally think began my journey:
(1) Accept yourself and your flaws.
I have mentioned in a previous post how it has been painfully embarrassing for me to accept some of my flaws/mistakes. It was made particularly difficult as the flaw should have been my strength. I immediately felt ridiculed even when there was no one doing so. I ridiculed myself. But once we have accepted who we are, things become easier. It is truly possible that our strength is our very weakness.
You are not perfect. You make mistakes. You have flaws. Your flaws are part of what make you who you are. What you think of as a defect actually makes you far more interesting to others.
Also remember that you are on a journey; a process. Your mistakes and failures will help you improve. As flawed as you may be, you must accept yourself, flaws and all, if you are to make progress in your life.
(2) Remember, that your bad choice or decision does not necessarily make you a bad person.
You can make a wrong choice or decision while still being a good person. True enough, guilt and shame can make you feel like there is something wrong with you. But there is a very big difference between doing a bad thing and being a bad person. Often times, we get to do things we eventually regret. And of course we are likely to have a valid reason for doing it at the time; regardless if that reason doesn’t make rational sense.
It can happen and it often does, that you committed the mistakes and failures not because you are a fundamentally bad person. You had certain better intentions, or valid motives, behind your action. Realize you did what you thought was the best you could at the time. You are not a bad person. You just made an unfavorable choice.
(3) Past is the past.
Yesterday is done. There is nothing left to do about it. Keeping in mind that it is past helps us to open ourselves and be more accepting. Eventually the increased acceptance leads to the emotional healing we are all looking for.