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How to Deal With Immature People

Updated on June 26, 2011

Recognizing an Immature Person

By immature people, I mean those who are willfully irresponsible and unable to conduct themselves with any sense of maturity and responsibility. I am not taking about those who are "young at heart," like to have fun, have playful spirits or those who like to watch cartoons and play with Legos. I am talking about grownups who cannot manage their own lives.

Immature grownups are people who:

  • fail to honor their commitments
  • pout when they don't get their way
  • refuse to be professional in a workplace setting
  • stop talking to you even in an emergency or critical situation
  • crave your negative attention
  • think of themselves as "special" and believe that regular rules do not apply to them
  • cannot be depended upon to complete any task


What Can You Do?

It can be very frustrating to have to deal with people on a regular basis who are very immature. Working with an immature person means you cannot count on him/her to complete a job. Living with an immature person means that you will be making the bulk of all the decisions and doing all of the work to maintain the household.

Immature people are not going to grow up and start acting mature just because you want them to grow up. They have to decide to do that on their own. Maybe when they see that being immature is not getting them anywhere in life, then they may decide to change. However, there are no guarantees that this situation will ever happen.

Meanwhile you have to learn to deal with the immature. Here are some tips on how to deal:

  • Ignore them. Never entertain their attempts to get your negative attention. Once you start playing their game, it will never end.
  • Never cover up for them at work or in life. If you are always covering up for them, than you are okaying their behavior. People will never learn their own life lessons if you are always protecting them.
  • Try not to sink to their level. Continue to be who you are and don't stoop to their level. You will only end up exhausted.
  • Don't let immature people make you feel bad about yourself. Don't take their actions personally and internalize their actions. They are not even mature enough to acknowledge your feelings.
  • Distance yourself from people that continue to hurt your feelings and disappoint you.

Life is full of immature people who may or may not ever really grow up. They depend on the responsible to get them through life. Spare yourself the grief. If you really care about an immature person, allow them to mess up, learn lessons and develop room to decide for themselves to change.

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    • profile image

      Dave 

      5 years ago

      I have a roommate who was like this. He wooed me in with this persona that he was a cool down to earth dude. I get to living with him and I ended up running the house. I paid all the bills, took out the trash, did the dishes, about everything but clean up his mess, which would exist anywhere it was allowed to. He would leave lights on all the time when no one was home, blast the air conditioning and leave, use my stuff without asking because he owned nothing, didn't care take of the few things he had so everything was broken or abused, took over the coffee table in the living room as his desk because he didn't have one or was too lazy to get one. If you confront him about anything he just pouts and complains about something you did to piss him off and will never acknowledge any error of his ways. I couldn't even get him to refill our water pitcher in the fridge without him pouting and crying. I feel really sorry for his girlfriend; if she sticks with him she will forever be cleaning up after this baby.

    • profile image

      Mary 

      5 years ago

      I met a da at wake county courthouse who acted like a 10 year old child! So dumb! They want things out of their control, they daydream, live in another world. I think somthink happened to them as kids.

    • truthfornow profile imageAUTHOR

      truthfornow 

      5 years ago from New Orleans, LA

      Thanks moonlake. I am dealing with an immature one right now, but I know I will come out on top.

    • moonlake profile image

      moonlake 

      5 years ago from America

      Some people never seem to grow up I think they are spoiled. We've all came in contact with a few. Voted up.

    • tussin profile image

      I'M BANNED Y'ALL!!!!!!!!!! 

      5 years ago from Behind You

      You could give them some diapers. True story: I had an outside manual labor job and any time someone came to Mr. Boss1 with a complaint he deemed whiny, he handed that worker a Huggies. One guy who'd just had a baby (well, his wife did) took advantage of the free diaper situation. Eventually Mr. Boss1 was replaced due to his own immature behavior.

    • profile image

      anna 

      6 years ago

      i know a person who is immature, he begins to argue w/me only because he doesn't want to spend money for our school event, he told me that i was talking behind him and that I'm insensitive and mad at him because he disagree with the contributions in school and that he only wanted us to save money so he suggested not to join the event w/c will cause negative effect on our grades, he said a lot of unimaginable words against me to the entire class w/c hurt my feelings a lot, the fact that i just wanted us to have good grades turns out to be me being insensitive. :-(

    • profile image

      Golden 

      6 years ago

      Maturity is a blessing. Either you except the path of righteousness or except your own path to self destruction, which will you choose?

    • profile image

      Caroline 

      6 years ago

      one member of the family is soo annoyingly immature and selfish it's driving me mad. I keep praying to God it will stop one day, it is truly ridiculous the way she throws a tantrum if things do not go her way....Aaargh...

    • profile image

      coco 

      6 years ago

      Our 25 yo son is immature. He went to a boarding school for5 years and graduated, then to HVAC school but did not graduate due to attendance. He move back to his home town and has not been able to hold down a job for more than 3 months. He will just decide to quit for no reason. He is not dependable, being late not calling in that type of thing. he will usually quit before finding new employment and there are jobs open he would not consider applying for as he feels they are beneath him or will not work them because they do not pay enough. I am afraid he may be this way his entire life. He will not listen to reason. He has lived this way for the last 7 years.

    • truthfornow profile imageAUTHOR

      truthfornow 

      7 years ago from New Orleans, LA

      @ Matty Says, I agree, I think there were plenty of times that I was the immature person. It really depends on the situation.

    • Matty Says profile image

      Matt Stupar 

      7 years ago from Toronto, Canada

      Great advice. It truly does come down to an individual making a decision to grow up. It's unfortunate that not everyone will choose this path.

      Having said that, I'm sure that everyone will be viewed as immature by someone else, depending on the situation. Just as I think I might be more mature than person A, I may be considered immature by person B. So it's important to accept that about myself and understand which side of the fence I am on in every situation.

    • truthfornow profile imageAUTHOR

      truthfornow 

      7 years ago from New Orleans, LA

      @manthy ~ thanks for reading and the up vote. I am trying hard to write good Hubs. Thanks so much for the encouragement.

    • manthy profile image

      Mark 

      7 years ago from Alabama,USA

      You got a up & a useful for this hub, Infact I would vote this the hub of the day if I could.

      Keep up the good writing

    • truthfornow profile imageAUTHOR

      truthfornow 

      7 years ago from New Orleans, LA

      I know what you mean. This Hub was inspired by my interactions with a 60 year old woman.

    • mariekbloch profile image

      mariekbloch 

      7 years ago

      Amen! The other day a man who is 40 years my senior acted very rude and immature to me because I could not find something that he knew was there. And I'm a new employee! I sometimes forget age does not always equal level of maturity. Even sixty year-olds can act like fourteen year-old jerks. Good advice!

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