- Quality of Life & Wellness
How to: Move on from the past
Moving on up
Your whole world could change in one moment, so stop focusing on what is wrong in your life, or what you wish you would have done. Do not regret what you cannot change, and start appreciating what you have in front of you because every day is a gift, do not waste it away on bitter feelings that you will not remember a year from now. Smile, love, laugh, and take chances you never thought you could. The years tell us much of what the days never knew.
We cannot always control what happens to us, but we can control our actions towards the situation. We have all experienced a time in our lives’ when obstacles continuously pile up on us and the light at the end of the tunnel seems to be moving further and further away rather than closer to us. Whether it be the death of a loved one, cancer, a divorce, a break up, failing a class, losing friends, a rumor, losing a job, or whatever the case may be, when faced with an awful situation, we have two choices; let it destroy us, or take it as it is, and deal with it. The choice we make during these difficult times can be the determining factor of whether we make it through, unscathed, or damaged with what seems beyond repair.
The glass is half full persona
As cheesy and unoriginal as this may be, your outlook and attitude towards a situation can and will affect the final outcome. As hurt as you may be, it could always be worse. The whole “Life sucks and then you die” approach might be working for you now, but it will not get you very far in life.
It is okay to let go
Sometimes we hold onto the past because we are fearful of what the future holds. We destroy new relationships because we cannot help but openly compare them to the last, we blame our inability to hold onto a mature romantic relationship because of our mommy and daddy issues, we refuse to allow ourselves to fall in love because we do not want to get a divorce, and we keep our walls up so high, not even prince charming could charm his way up and over. The past is the past it does not have any control over your future! We get so caught up in the what if’s, we let our lives’ pass us by.
Live in the now
So you were hurt in the past, SO WHAT! This is your present, and if you ask me, the future is so much more important. Stop worrying about getting too close to someone in fear of a broken heart, writing off marriage before you even fall in love is quite silly. Do not judge someone new based on the old. If you continue to live in the past, that is right where you will remain.
So how do I do it?
1. Instead of sulking in your own misery and locking yourself behind doors, get up, get out, and get on with your life. Start a new hobby, call up a friend and make a lunch date. If you’re getting over a romantic relationship, do not close off the idea of ever having another, I am not saying jump into one the first chance you get, but do not completely be closed to the idea.
2. BURN IT UP! Pictures, presents, notes, anything you have, take a match to it all! You may not be as dramatic as me when it comes to getting rid of things and relieving stress, but even if it is just one picture, try it out, you will see how freeing it is. Then you can box up the rest and put it in storage so you can reminisce in twenty or thirty years, and when you do, I will bet on the fact that you barely remember their name, or the love you had for them, or whatever it is you have moved on from.
3. Forgive whatever or whoever you want to let go of. Life is a roller-coaster. There are going to be highs, lows, scary moments, adrenaline pumping, heart racing, time of your life memories but that is just it, they are memories. Remember the good times, and forgive the rest. The only person you are hurting by holding onto the negatives is yourself.