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I Can't Make You Love Me: A Moment with Bill Reflection

Updated on April 3, 2015

A Story from the Past

I’ve told this story before so if you’ve heard it, please hang with me while I tell it again.

Growing up I lived in a wonderful neighborhood. It was a Saturday Evening Post kind of neighborhood, inhabited with great playmates and caring neighbors who looked out for each other, people who genuinely cared about each other and went out of their way to help one another.

And then there was Mr. Streitz!

Mr. Streitz was the meanest man I have ever known, and he lived right across the street from us. From the time I was five until I turned twenty-one, Mr. Streitz did everything he could to rain on my parade. If a baseball went into his yard he would come out, grab the ball, and toss it in his garbage can. He would stand on his lawn and yell at kids for being too loud. He would curse, he would rant and he had the ability to single-handedly ruin a fine, summer’s day.

For sixteen years I tiptoed around his corner of the universe, always careful that I did not upset him. My mother told me to be forgiving of him. My dad just told me to ignore him.

It remained that way until my father died the winter of my twentieth year.

A week after my father’s death I was out in the yard picking up dead branches. I was lost in my own grief and not really paying attention to the goings-on in the neighborhood that day. Suddenly I looked up and Mr. Streitz was standing five feet from me. I didn’t know what to do or say. I was literally dumbstruck and quite honestly pissed that this man, who had always been so hateful, would approach me when I was hurting so much.

“Bill, I know your dad and I didn’t get along,” he said. “But I just wanted you to know that he was a good man and I’m deeply sorry for your loss.” And with those words he reached out, shook my hand, and walked away.

He said nothing more. In fact, until the day he died four years later, Mr. Streitz never made an effort to have another conversation with me.

That kind of shit will stay with you a lifetime and make you re-assess your view of humanity.

My dad and I and Mr. Streitz's son painting our fence
My dad and I and Mr. Streitz's son painting our fence | Source

There Have Been Many like Him over the Years

It turned out Mr. Streitz was not an anomaly. There are quite a few people like him in this world. I’ve managed to run into several over the years, people so bitter or so troubled as to seem beyond help.

And then there are the ones who seem like perfectly pleasant people who simply decide, at a moment’s notice, that they don’t like me. Something just doesn’t click between us. We don’t mesh for whatever reason.

And then there are the ones who don’t like me because of some label they have given me.

“Oh, he’s a Liberal. Well, I certainly don’t like him.”

“Oh, he’s a writer. What a lazy idiot.”

“Oh, he’s anti-abortion, pro-abortion, gay, bisexual, Republican, anti-gun, pro-environment, Catholic, Baptist, Holy Roller…..no way I would ever like that clown.”

I had someone tell me the other day that because I am a Liberal I am anti-American. I don’t even know what to say to that kind of thinking.

Sheez, now that I think about it, why bother trying, right? There are so many reasons for people not to like me, it seems like I’m doomed from the start. The simple truth is that I cannot make everyone love me no matter how hard I try, and I used to try very, very hard. It used to be extremely important to me that you liked me. I would try to please you. I would go out of my way to do things I thought you would like. I would go so far as to change who I was in order that you give me a pat on the back and a few words of approval.

Well those days are gone, my friends.

I can’t make you love me.

Like me or don't like me, but base your opinion on something important
Like me or don't like me, but base your opinion on something important | Source

But the Thing Is……

But the thing is…..

If you would just try, you might find that I’m not a bad guy.

If you would just look past the window-dressing, you might find a quality product awaits you.

If you would just toss away your pre-conceived notions about my politics, my religion, my belief system, you just might find I’m a human being who breathes in and breathes out, just like you. You just might find a person who cries…who laughs….who has compassion and empathy….who values friendships and who believes love is the most important force in life.

If you would just make the tiniest effort, you just might find our commonalities far outweigh our differences. I have the same basic needs as you. I have suffered just as you have suffered. I have had triumphs just as you have. I have been beaten down and I rose, just as you have.

As my rather confused cousin once said, this ain’t rocket surgery. I’m a human being, just like you.

I can’t make you love me…..

But could you please just attempt to look beyond the b.s. and respect me as a member of the human species?

If you could do that….if I can do it…we just might accomplish marvelous things.

I’m willing to try.

Are you?

I wonder what made Mr. Streitz such a hateful man? I wonder if he was abused as a child? I wonder if he changed during World War Two? I’ll never know those answers, but I do know that for one five-minute period of time, Mr. Streitz tossed away the expected and did the unexpected. For one five-minute period of time, Mr. Streitz ignored the superficial nonsense and shared a human moment with me.

And today I am a better man for it.

2015 William D. Holland (aka billybuc)

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    • jhamann profile image

      Jamie Lee Hamann 2 years ago from Reno NV

      Good morning! Bill I am happy to have been a friend! Very thought provoking write. Good stuff. Jamie

    • Lori P. profile image

      Lori Chidori Phillips 2 years ago from Southern California USA

      I have learned that what others think and say about you has everything to do with them and not you. Everyone has his own mind that processes incoming data and how they process it is the result of their own life experiences, their own biology, and their own worth. Everyone is a mirror. The world is a mirror. I can tell a lot about a person by what he thinks about me. When they tell me that I am wonderful/good/kind/sweet, I smile because it is really that THEY are wonderful people. If they find something not to like about me, it really is a weakness in themselves. The perceived flaws they see in me are their own.

      "Don't go where you are tolerated. Go where you are celebrated."

    • tillsontitan profile image

      Mary Craig 2 years ago from New York

      How true. People make snap judgments without knowing what they're basing their judgments on. Foolish people we know. Kindness and the love of mankind will not only change the world but change people, one at a time.

      So, exactly how mixed up is your cousin?

      Inspirational Bill. You've covered a lot of ground here and it certainly bears reading over and over.

      Voted up, useful, awesome, and interesting.

    • Janine Huldie profile image

      Janine Huldie 2 years ago from New York, New York

      Beautiful Bill and yes I totally adore you and so glad we are indeed friends. Happy Friday, have a great weekend and Happy Easter, too!

    • profile image

      suzettenaples 2 years ago

      Most people don't make the time or effort to really get to know a person. Many are just too judgmental. That is why it is rare to find that one person who really wants to know you. Excellent write!

    • MarleneB profile image

      Marlene Bertrand 2 years ago from Northern California, USA

      My next door neighbor is a female version of "Mr. Streitz." We got along great for three years. One day, as we were both collecting our mail at the same time, I said hello and she deliberately turned her back on me. She didn't return any looks or words. She just stopped talking. In later days, she became rude and obnoxious. It's been a year now and for the life of me I don't know what I could have said or done to make her turn on me like that. Other neighbors said she did the same thing to them too. She just becomes mean and nasty for no reason. I guess some people are just that way. And, like you said, you can't make someone love you.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Good morning Jamie. If a man is judged by the friends he has, then I am a rich man. Thank you!

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Loir P, beautifully stated and oh so true. Thank you for sharing that. I'm smiling and will be the rest of the day. Happy Easter!

    • Jackie Lynnley profile image

      Jackie Lynnley 2 years ago from The Beautiful South

      I bet we all have an experience like that Bill; and it hopefully gives us trust in humankind to try reach out to the unreachable. You just never know what does make people the way they are; but of course there is always a reason. That is how I manage to forgive those that hurt me...knowing somewhere along the line they have been hurt too and apparently worse than they hurt me.

      ^+

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Mary, to answer your question, my cousin is very mixed up. LOL She is unique. Let's leave it at that.

      But I love her.

      Happy Easter my friend and thank you.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Janine. You are a sweetheart and I am richer having you as a friend. Happy Easter to you and your family.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you for sharing that, Suzette. If you find such a person hold onto them forever. I am lucky to know quite a few. Happy Easter my friend.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Marlene, fascinating and sad example you shared. It would be interesting to slip inside her head and try to find out what she is thinking....but then that would involve time and effort, and why bother? There are others who are decent to you and deserve your time and effort.

      Happy Easter, Marlene. Tell your husband I send my best.

    • profile image

      Randall Guinn 2 years ago

      I have known a few people like your neighbor, and maybe at times resembled him in ways. With some people the anti-social behaviour can be the result of a chronic illness that is not always obvious. Family members, understandibly get tired of hearing your complaints of pain, and so you learn to keep it to yourself, but the pain remains, eating away at your character. More than once I have had new friends tell me that they avoided me after first meeting me, because they thought I was always angry. I understood. The contortion of one's face from chronic pain is often misconcieved as anger. The odd thing is, when I was younger, I was known for the opposite, for always smiling. Most people soon learn to ignore the scowl upon my face as it is no reflection of who I truly am. Even grumpy old people can sometimes be mislabeled.

      I enjoyed your story, and by no means intend to make excuses for your neighbor. I didn't know him.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Good for you, Jackie, and I agree with you now. I had to do a little maturing over the years to reach that point, but your way is definitely the best. Happy Easter to you and yours.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Randall, I think your comment is so very important. Thank you for sharing your story. Great point, and it ties in perfectly with what I am saying....don't judge a book by its cover and all that.....anyway, Happy Easter to you and best wishes in the future.

    • profile image

      Lawrence Kitzmann 2 years ago

      As always my friend well done. I love these reflective personal pieces. As I'm still trying to figure out who I am and what I truly believe I am amazed at those who already have me pegged in their own minds. Go figure-- I just know I've done things in the past (Nam) which I now regret and will haunt me forever yet that is history at this point. Now I try not to judge and always take care of the flower lady. We all pay our dues in one fashion or another. Take care and have a great weekend my friend

    • Hooks and Needles profile image

      Hooks and Needles 2 years ago

      We had a women in our neighborhood like that when our kids were growing up. Possibly she had close to 50 baseballs from all the kids living in the area.The park was just behind her house. One day I had to go to her door for something. She answered it with her blouse all unbuttoned and everything showing. I decided she just wasn't in her right mind.

      It is too bad that people have preconceived notions about others. I had a preconceived notion about her. I just thought she was a mean person.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Larry, true words my friend. I've had countless friends who went to Nam and came back completely different people. What do I know about Nam? Absolutely nothing, so it's best I hold off on judging. In fact, Nam is really what gave me the respect I have today for all soldiers. The stories I have heard.....no way I wouldn't have been changed by those experiences....so I keep my mouth shut now and thanks the gods I didn't have to experience it. A long-winded way of saying thank you.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Hooks, thanks for sharing that. Who knows, right? About 90% of who we are is hidden from others. If nothing else, human beings are very complicated creatures.

    • Ericdierker profile image

      Eric Dierker 2 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      A very interesting perspective. I am afraid I see too much judgmental actions in myself to be able assess many people.

    • profile image

      DJ Anderson 2 years ago

      What a wonderful article, Bill.

      These are basic truths that many of us have experienced,

      but you tell your story with a greater understanding than most.

      Don't let it go to your head, but I think you make a

      pretty neat human. :-)

      Happy Easter weekend to you, Bev and the family.

      DJ.

    • CatherineGiordano profile image

      Catherine Giordano 2 years ago from Orlando Florida

      You always tell a great story and slip in a moral. It is true, we make snap judgments about people and other people do the same to us. We can't change them, but we can try to be more open ourselves. And we should try not to take it personally when someone appears to not like us; it might really be them and not us. Voted up ++

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Eric, I think if most people are being honest, they would admit to the same thing. I know I would. Thanks for your honest statement. Happy Easter my friend.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      DJ, I'm going to try to keep my hat size the same, so no worries. Thank you. I happen to think you're pretty cool, too.

      Happy Easter, DJ, and thank you so much for your friendship and support.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      It could be that for sure, Catherine. Happily I have reached the point where I am just not affected when others don't like me. It took a long time to reach that point, of course. :) Thank you and Happy Easter.

    • bravewarrior profile image

      Shauna L Bowling 2 years ago from Central Florida

      I love and respect you, Bill. You know that.

      I was surprised to learn Mr. Streitz had a son your age. How did he treat him? Was he hateful? Did he ever interact with him?

    • Larry Rankin profile image

      Larry Rankin 2 years ago from Oklahoma

      I'm a fairly miserable person most the time, but the difference between me and other miserable people is I don't feel the need to project that misery on others.

      Any bit of happiness we can find in life, no one should have the right to take that away from us for no good reason.

      Great read!

    • Carb Diva profile image

      Linda Lum 2 years ago from Washington State, USA

      Good morning Bill - Yes, all of us have encountered people who are unkind, miserable, impossible to please. I don't think that the problem is that they don't love us and are unwilling to get to know the real person that we are.

      I think the problem is that they do not love themselves. It's that self-loathing that gets in the way of humanity. (Great hub!).

    • profile image

      kimmie 2 years ago

      Bill this was such heartfelt post. I am pretty much loving to all people but there have been times I have been hurt or offended by someones actions. I find there are so many complex reasons that people act the way they do...perhaps someone smiles and is happy too much to the point of nausea to someone else but then they are hiding so many hurts and insecuirties. Perhaps someone is rough and seem aloof but they have been hurt and people scare them so they stay clear....we all are such complex beings. I do believe when we get our focus off our own igos...hurts..and dissappointments we are able to be better humans...perhaps learning to get out of that offended mode and see beyond someones actions. Maybe we can see them in a different light. Wow lots to think about...:) Thanks Bill!

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Sha, he treated his son like excrement. He was an equal-opportunity hater, sad to say.

      And I love and respect you, my friend. Happy Easter to you and your son.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Larry, I love your honesty and philosophy. I'm not sure I've heard someone say what you just said but it is so dead-honest....miserable but with no right to project that misery on others. Thank you for that, and I hope you have a Happy Easter.

    • Homeplace Series profile image

      William Leverne Smith 2 years ago from Hollister, MO

      It is an interesting life, isn't it, Bill. Thanks for sharing. Fortunately, there have only been a small handful of people who I could not get along with. None of them in my life, right now, so that is good. Best wishes, as always!

    • clivewilliams profile image

      Clive Williams 2 years ago from Nibiru

      nice read bill...keep on keeping hubpages strong

    • Sparklea profile image

      Sparklea 2 years ago from Upstate New York

      Hi Bill, that song by Bonnie Raitt is so profound...so sad and melancholy.

      My daughter is going through this right now...her 'boyfriend' and she are on the outs...He told her, "I wish I could love you." What??? Don't get me started.

      I am glad Sha asked you about your neighbor's son...I wondered also...such a nice looking kid in the picture, do you know where he is today? Or how he turned out? I LOATHE parents who treat their children that way.

      This hub is so full of emotion, and I think you should continue to share this story about Mr. Streitz. Your ending, "I'm a better man for it..." His ONE act of kindness. What a great testimony on your part that you remember and give him a slight uplift. THAT alone shows your gift of compassion. With all you went through, all you have been through in your life you are a better person, NOT a bitter individual. I believe every one of us has a story to share...good or bad, stories encourage and uplift.

      Bill, my friend, I would guess in my personal opinion that there are VERY few who do not like you...If these people DO exist for the examples you cited, they are not even worth pursuing.

      YOUR EXCELLENT POINT: "I can't make you love me." THANK YOU for that. Right now in my existence I know two people who do not like me...oh, I am sure there are others, but I don't care to know who they are. What is so devastating is that one of those persons is my daughter-in-law. I haven't seen my son's face since New Year's Day 2014, nor his kids for about three years. He has not set foot in our home in 15 years and they live 9 minutes away. I live with that torment every single day. BUT, you said it: "I can't make you love me." There are some things that can't be fixed. That's why I love that you stated you have done things to try to get people to like you but no more. Then you added, "those days are gone." It certainly gives one perspective.

      Thank you for another great write, dear friend. Voted up and awesome.

      God bless, Sparklea ;) PS did you ever receive that newspaper clipping I mailed you? I thought of you and your new book the minute I read it.

    • sallybea profile image

      Sally Gulbrandsen 2 years ago from Norfolk

      My mother in particular always said not to judge a book by its cover. There is nothing nicer than finding out that someone you misjudged turns out to be a good 'un rather than the mean person you thought they were.

      I am so glad that Mr. Streitz managed to show you another side of his character. Life is full of surprises!

      Happy Easter Billy.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Linda, your last statement is right on. Loving ourselves is the first huge step towards happiness. Without it, our lives are simply dark and dismal. Thank you!

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Kimmie, you said so many things profoundly that I have nothing to add. We are incredibly complex creatures and we always...always...hold the key to happiness. Thank you for sharing your reflections, and Happy Easter to you and your family.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Bill and yes, life is fascinating. I have pretty much eliminated from my life people who are negative. I still run into some during the daily business of living, but it's my choice whether I allow them to ruin my day.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Clive. I'm trying my friend.

    • carol7777 profile image

      carol stanley 2 years ago from Arizona

      A friend of mine once said there are some people you don't like no matter what they do or say, and others you like no matter what you do or say. Also I remember my 6th grade teacher Mrs. Wilcox took a dislike to me and I was a cute sweet little girl who was always happy. So we don't know what it is sometimes that creates these feelings.

    • annart profile image

      Ann Carr 2 years ago from SW England

      Yes, it pays to be tolerant, to try to get on with someone, to not pre-judge, then if people can't respond to you, that's their choice and probably their loss.

      Your messages come across so well with stories like these.

      I'm sure it's great to be your neighbour and anyone who doesn't respond is definitely missing out.

      Enjoy your weekend, bill!

      Ann

    • MartieCoetser profile image

      Martie Coetser 2 years ago from South Africa

      I was married for 20 years to Mr. Streitz. Believe me, he was not troubled or bitter, but simply born with a decrepit soul.

      The only way for me to accept the fact that some people don't like me, is contemplating my own dislike in some people. The challenge is to love (respect) others as we love (respect) ourselves. In other words, don't treat assholes with disrespect, and don't allow them to steal our joy.

      Thought-provoking hub, Billy!

    • Randall Guinn profile image

      Randall Guinn 2 years ago from Pinellas Park, Florida

      Happy Easter Bill. I hope that it is both peaceful, pleasant.

    • fpherj48 profile image

      Paula 2 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      Brother Bill....Just point out those people who gave you a hard time! I'm on my way with my boxing gloves on! LOL....I don't need to say this but I will anyway....I've been a fan since day one and it just got better. I mean look, I went from a fan to being your sister in a very short time!

      Seriously....there can't be a human being now or ever who has been liked by EVERYONE. The reality is, it doesn't matter. How many friends and family can we handle and love back anyway??

      You know my odd-ball attitude. "You don't like me? Fine, it's cool.....move outta the way...Go on GIT! There's a whole line of great people behind you who DO like me!"

      When you hear the expression, "Don't sweat the small stuff.....that includes small people." I have a boatload of expressions I could repeat here, but I won't bore you or clog up the comment section....for a change!!! LMAO. God love Mr. Streitz. Hey, did you ever consider his tighty whities may have been a couple sizes too small? That could make anyone miserable!!......Love & hugs, Sis UP++++ tweeted & pinned.

    • MariaMontgomery profile image

      MariaMontgomery 2 years ago from Central Florida, USA

      Bill, many years ago, I read that none of us can expect to be liked by everyone. That is so true. I have run into a 2 or 3 of those nuts who think tha by being liberal, we are un-American. I just have to smile to myself, and think how narrow-minded they are. Oh, and if you care, I like you just fine.

    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Fuller 2 years ago from Southern Illinois

      Geez, I can't believe you're a liberal. Hee..I like you just the way you are. Don't change!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Lea my friend, I'm so sorry about your son. I have a niece who won't speak to me....nothing I can do about it. I have people who love me and that's all I need.

      I did not receive the newspaper clipping....yet. Hope springs eternal.

      As for the son of Mr. Streitz, he died of cancer when he was 26 years old. Any way you look at it, that family had a black cloud over it.

      Gotta run...new baby born.

      blessings and Happy Easter to you

      bill

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Sally, there is rarely a day that I am not surprised by life, nor is there a day I am not grateful for this gift.

      Happy Easter to you, my friend, and thank you.

    • B. Leekley profile image

      Brian Leekley 2 years ago from Kalamazoo, Michigan, USA

      Amen.

      The TED talk "The Danger of a Single Story" goes well with this hub.

    • Faith Reaper profile image

      Faith Reaper 2 years ago from southern USA

      Dear Bill,

      So much truth shared here. I used to be a people pleaser and try and try to please everyone so that they would love me or like me, but it just doesn't work. Now, I just try to love them but sometimes boundaries are necessary for one's own health it seems. People are going to think what they will and there is not one thing we can do to change that except keep on being true to ourselves no matter what.

      God bless you and yours this Easter weekend. He is risen! God tells us to love one another, sounds so simple, yet we just can't seem to get past ourselves.

    • Michael-Milec profile image

      Michael-Milec 2 years ago

      Oh Bill, your confession " I can't make you love me" reached me little too late. You might know or not, but this Michael loves-like- appreciates you and you " made" him to choose to love you as you are . Loving someone is a personal decision as is hatred a personal decision coming as outside spiritual influencing force upon our soul and human spirit. There is a "reason" why I decided to love you , coming as a mirror reflection from the source of all love, a spiritual reality. I do not know who you are, never met you in person and you are the one I am talking about to many people around me, the impact you are making on humanity, including me of course, about your giving heart expressed in written word...Not many people I know of your character except my immediate family... I have two blood brothers and I do not talk about them, I have friends-brothers by the heavenly Father always talking about our oneness . We do not talk about " love ' and loving each other. ( A cultural handicap ). We just live it, Living who we are comes naturally. Similarly does hatred come naturally for those who submit their will to evil , living miserably . .. I had chance to pay attention to extreme hatred even persecution, - instead I just let it go, learning from my Master who spent all his life doing good, super good to everyone and because of some hated him , he said " they hated me without cause..." - then there was a message to me " they hated me they will hate you..." Great ! I do not care, be my guest If you want to be hateful I won't pay attention to you and if we do not respond to hatred, they might leave us alone while growing inside hatred will overpower ,killing them prematurely... At what age Mr. Streitz left his planet?

      Be of good cheer my friend, continue spreading sweet-scented love it is coming back to you.

      Voting awesome and beautiful.

      Good night my friend and peaceful blessed weekend.

    • Besarien profile image

      Besarien 2 years ago

      I can't imagine what kind of a Scrooge couldn't love you Billy. You are bright, witty, and thoughtful. You went out your way to welcome a stranger and answer questions when I first arrived. I count myself blessed to have met you and gotten the chance to get to know you through your writing and personal essays. I thank you for being you. Wishing you and yours the happiest of Easters.

    • Venkatachari M profile image

      Venkatachari M 2 years ago from Hyderabad, India

      Bill, this is one more emotionally touching hub from you. We are all here so much loving you and regarding you as our most inspiring man in the world and you say "I can't make you love me". All your past has passed and now you are our most lovable person and especially for me as I always get inspired from your writings and like your stuff so much and can see and feel all your emotions.

    • manatita44 profile image

      manatita44 2 years ago from london

      So complex, my Brother Bill.

      I always say that we are essentially good people, but yes, life and its environment, parents, culture, etc., gives us many demons to deal with. It is a big struggle for many.

      I always say that we will get our rewards in Heaven; not to expect anything from Earth. It will remain ungrateful. So you do 100 things right, and fail in one which is then eternally remembered.

      Mostly our struggle evolves around ourselves, and it really is not easy. Here you serve, have been serving and continue to serve, and through His Grace, you are making a difference. Extremely commendable. If you can, be wary or void of expectations.

      Excellent and intelligent article. Much love this Sunday Easter. God bless your loving heart and Bev's oneness with your will and consciousness. Hari Om! (All praise to your true Self)

    • mary615 profile image

      Mary Hyatt 2 years ago from Florida

      I can't imagine anyone NOT liking you; maybe this guy just didn't like kids! There are many of those people, sad to say. I guess we have all had people in our lives that we just didn't "click" with.

      I hope you and Bev have a wonderful Easter, Mary

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      No we don't, Carol, and to expend energy trying to figure it out is a waste of time. All I know for sure is I'm glad you like me. :) Thank you!

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Ann! Odd that you said that about neighbors. There is actually one neighbor who doesn't like us, and I swear, if you can't like Bev you can't like anyone alive. :) We are taking it with a grain of salt.

      Have a superb weekend and Happy Easter to you.

      Bill

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      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Martie, I love your statements here....especially the asshole part. LOL Thank you for sharing your thoughts and I hope you have a great weekend.

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      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Randall. I wish the same for you.

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      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Sis, you crack me up. I had never considered his tighty whites. As a teen, that's not something I concentrated on for too long. LOL I mean seriously.....one could gain a bad reputation thinking about those things back in the 60s. LOL

      Thanks for your pearls of wisdom. Have a great Easter and remember how much this old man appreciates you.

      love and hugs back atcha

      Bill

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      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Maria, I care and I thank you. I'll never understand that kind of narrow-minded thinking and that's okay. My life is full and happy so I just move on from it and don't sweat it.

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      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Ruby, the secret is out. LOL Thank you and I happen to think you are the cat's meow too.

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      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Well thank you Brian. I'll watch it this morning. Have a great weekend, my friend.

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      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Faith, it does sound simple, doesn't it? I wonder why it's so difficult? Hmmmm!

      Thank you dear friend. Happy Easter to you and blessings today and always.

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      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Michael my friend, that was beautiful and I thank you and love you for it. We are brothers regardless of blood or heritage. Any man who shares the belief of love is my brother.

      Blessings dear friend and Happy Easter to you and yours.

      Bill..........oh, Mr. Streitz was 55 when he died.

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      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Besarien, that is a lovely thing for you to say. Thank you so much. Blessings to you and your family this Easter. It is an honor knowing you.

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      Peggy Woods 2 years ago from Houston, Texas

      There is no accounting for the actions of some people looking at it from the outside. Of course there are reasons known (or in some cases influencing their actions subconsciously) unique to them. I think that we have all been surprised at one time or another as to the actions of people. Nice that your neighbor came out of his shell for a moment in time to offer his hand to you in sympathy. Thanks for sharing.

      Happy Easter!

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      Rochelle Frank 2 years ago from California Gold Country

      A beautiful reflection and commentary on human interaction. And I'm going to have to remember the comment about rocket surgery. :)

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      Ann Carr 2 years ago from SW England

      There's always someone who's not happy unless they're miserable!

      Have a great Easter weekend!

      Ann (still awaiting g/child!) :)

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      social thoughts 2 years ago from New Jersey

      Mr. Streitz reminds me of similar neighbors others have talked about. One friend told me some old lady told him and his friends, "I'm tired of your shenanigans!" That's what I think of when I think of those types. Anyway, this is a great article. It's sweet and funny. I love "This ain't rocket surgery." That's brilliant!

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      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you so very much Venkatachari M. I appreciate your kind words very much and I hope I always inspire others and share my love for all of you.

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      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Manatita, thank you my friend. Avoid expectations....there is the key. Expectations will bring disillusionment and disappointment, and those cloud our eyes so we can't see the beauty that surrounds us.

      Happy Easter to you and yours.

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      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Mary. There have been a few over the years who just haven't fallen under my spell. LOL Oh well...I am surrounded by love and that's all I need.

      Happy Easter to you, Mary!

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      Rolly A Chabot 2 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Hi Bill... each time I read your work there is always something which jumps out at me and bites. Great peace of work and here and I love the way the human emotion resonates in your writing.

      I think we have all had the Mr. Streitz experience with people. I know I have and like you I strived as a child for approval, it carried into later life. I struggled with the same issues as you and would often feel defeated.

      Through the village of hard knocks and a few good wake up slaps I came to the conclusion there was nothing I could do to change people. People needed to change themselves. I slowly learned at accept myself just the way was and through a process of fixing all the flaws what you see is what you get. Fail to like me the way I am right now, come back tomorrow when your mood has changed or lighting has struck and you may like me then. You want to tell me I have warts well maybe step in front of the mirror and check your own.

      I have learned all the things people may not like about me is generally down deep inside all they are doing is seeing the things they despise in themselves.

      Love your style Brother, I think we should team up and ride some Harley's across the US and Canada and change things... what you say?

      Hugs and Blessings Bro... Hats off again

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      Linda Crampton 2 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

      This is an interesting hub that contains some important points about attitudes towards others. Thanks for sharing it, Bill.

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      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you for sharing those thoughts, Peggy. There always seems to be a reason for that kind of behavior. Even if we never know thee reason, we can certainly understand that humans are complicated.

      Happy Easter to you my friend.

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      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Rochelle and I'm glad you enjoyed my confused cousin. :) Happy Easter to you.

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      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Happy Easter to you, Ann, and I hope that grandchild is an Easter baby.

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      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thanks Kailey! I love the word "shenanigans." It sounds like it means, if that makes any sense. :) We live our lives, my young friend, and it people don't like it, well, they can stuff it. :)

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      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Rolly, thank you my friend. That road trip sounds like a great thing for my bucket list. I haven't ridden the highways for a long time but man, am I ever ready. It could be a Harley book tour....Rolly and Bill on the open road hawking their books. Sign me up.

      Happy Easter, buddy, and hugs coming your way.

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      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      I'm glad you liked it, Alicia. Thank you and Happy Easter to you.

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      travmaj 2 years ago from australia

      Hi Bill, how complex this is, how complex we all are I guess. Occasionally the crunch comes when you discover someone has deliberately misled you, while pertaining to being a friend. That can hurt. No Mr Streitz in my life thank goodness. You never really know what other people are thinking - but life goes on and as long as we do the right thing by others and accept that not everyone will accept our friendship then can't do much else. Thinking of novels - short stories etc - perhaps characters with angst and anger are more interesting to the reader than a regular friendly one. Still thinking this one through Bill - hope your Easter was happy.Cheers.

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      Dora Isaac Weithers 2 years ago from The Caribbean

      Bill, the older I get, the easier it is to accept that there is really no need to be upset at other people. "There is so much good in the worst of us and so much bad in the best of us." Your article give a message for our daily consideration.

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      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Happy Easter Maj and thank you. I do love characters in literature with angst and anger. I find them much easier to write about. I hope that doesn't say something about me. LOL

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      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Dora. I sure do try to remember that simple principle. If I can only find the good in someone....but the search can be a hard one. :)

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      Nithya Venkat 2 years ago from Dubai

      Wonder what made Mr. Streitz such a bitter man but what he did that day after your father's death sure does show that he is still human. There are hidden depths in people that we may never come to know. Thank you for sharing.

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      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Very true, Vellur. We are such complicated beings. I'm not sure we ever truly know another person.

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      Susan Ream 2 years ago from Michigan

      Bill, I liked you from the very start. I saw your heart in your writing. You are intelligent yet able to come off as a regular Joe.

      You are always reaching out to help others. Though I don't read your hubs that often (neither do I read anyone elses much anymore) from time to time I think .. I wonder how billybuc is doing?

      You are easy to like Billy and that is clear to see by how many people follow you.

      Have a GREAT day and thanks for being you!

      Great Article!

      Mekenzie

    • FlourishAnyway profile image

      FlourishAnyway 2 years ago from USA

      Great message, Bill. Some of the people I enjoy the most have belief systems and eccentricities that are so very different from mine. After awhile I enjoy them because they are that way rather than in spite of it.

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      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Mekenzie, thank you so much for the kind words. You touched upon some things that are very important to me. It's so nice to hear that others see it in me.

      Bill

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      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Great point, Flourish! I strongly believe we all have more commonalities than differences, and if we just build on those commonalities, great relationships can be formed. Thank you!

    • Deborah Demander profile image

      Deborah Demander 2 years ago from First Wyoming, then THE WORLD

      I like you, and I don't even know you.

      I once heard a speaker say that of all the people you meet, 25 percent will dislike you immediately for no reason and nothing you can do will change their mind. 25 percent will dislike you, but could be persuaded to like you if you do/say/act/be the right things. 25 percent will like you, but could be persuaded to dislike you if you do/say/act/be the wrong things, and 25 percent like you, regardless. They just like who you are.

      You can count me in the final 25 percent. I just like who you are.

      Namaste

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      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Deborah, I'm heard those percentages before, and I suspect they are pretty close to accurate.

      All I know for sure at this moment is I'm glad you like me. :) I happen to like you too. That's not a bad place to start as our day unfolds.

      Thank you, my friend.

      Pax vobiscum

    • Jo_Goldsmith11 profile image

      Jo_Goldsmith11 2 years ago

      Hello Bill,

      I can't imagine anyone with just a bit of brain matter would have anything but positive feelings about you. Yet, you have written so eloquently and accurately how some folks just are the way they are.

      I know I like you and I highly respect you and your work as an author and teacher. Blessings always my friend. :-)) Shared and vote up all the way! (((((((( Bill )))))))))))

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      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Jo! As hard as we might try, there will always be someone who simply doesn't like us. Oh well. You and I know how wonderful we are. :) :) :)

      blessings and thanks my friend

    • Jo_Goldsmith11 profile image

      Jo_Goldsmith11 2 years ago

      Bill,

      You know I ran into someone right after this comment was posted who didn't like me. weird. Anyway, I thought I would ask why? And you will never believe what they said! " I am too nice". :-)) Isn't that something??

      I think maybe if anyone would "dislike" you, (person should get their heart in a better place) it might be because you are such a leader for so many. And they are scared to ask you how to be one! Blessings..

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      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Jo, when faced with a response like that, we are left with shaking our head as the only possible response. :) Too nice????

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      Deb Hirt 2 years ago from Stillwater, OK

      Whoever doesn't like you, has a problem, not you. I think your neighbor wanted to make peace before his final hours, which he did. At least the man had common sense.

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      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Very true, Deb. It's not my job to understand everyone I meet, but it is my job to be human towards them. I try, my friend. Thank you.

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      Dianna Mendez 2 years ago

      I took a break from my schedule to read some hubs and I am glad I caught yours. It reminds me that as long as we are comfortable in our own skin it doesn't matter what the world thinks of us. It took me awhile to figure this truth out. Thanks for bringing it home for me tonight. Blessings!

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      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Oh Dianna, it took this boy a long, long time to figure it out. Sure glad I made it.

      It's good to see you again. Blessings to you always.

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