- Quality of Life & Wellness
How to Regain a Connection With Your Higher Self: Part Two
On an autumn morning, the air was crisp and filled with the promise of the soon-coming winter. Together with a dear friend I was jogging in nature's cathedral formed by majestic trees of oak, willow and new growth of pine.
The ground was soft and the air infused with the earthy smell of composting leaves. In the intertwined branches of the hedges, spiders had woven beautiful patterns that held the dew drops like strings of pearls. The rising misty fog was penetrated by rays of the morning sun. Once in a while we saw a deer or rabbit crossing the forest lane.
While jogging I learned to focus on my breath. Short inhalations, letting the air circulate internally and long, slow exhalations again through the nose. At first it felt frightening, like I would not get enough air. Soon I felt the calming and invigorating benefits of that attentive method of breathing.
After the first mile, my mind chatter disappeared in the magnificence of nature's presence. Here I felt home. With each new footprint my running shoes pressed into the sandy earth, I felt lighter. Many years had passed before I started to take care of my essential needs. That imbalance had created much suffering and a state of burn-out to the point I was tempted to kill myself.
Now, sure I am glad I took another approach and changed what had not been in harmony. Swimming against the mainstream paid off for my life. The man running on my side felt like my guardian as he introduced the forgotten joys of my soul.
When he explained the basics of jogging it was more like an artful act that heightened awareness. There was no aim or pressure for performance, rather it was purely the grace within the movement that lightened the path.
A Feeling of Being Home
When I felt the intensity of nature's aliveness, I often remembered the feeling that I had when he read poetry by Rumi or Tagore. All the years I had been thirsty, and no outer achievement besides the birth of my two sons had ever quenched the thirst. With the beauty within the poems and in nature's undisturbed realm, I felt authentic. Finally I felt at home in my own skin.
Shortly we came to one of our resting points. It was a sweet little meadow on the wet side of a hill. The sun had climbed higher and started warming the ground. In the soft mosses there gathered a family of the last remaining ladybugs of summer. While my friend liked to cool off by practicing some sequences of kung fu, I just sat down to be one with the sensations of nature.
Here again came the long lost feeling of innocent wonder that had filled my heart as a small child. My body was relaxed, content and rooted into the earth. I was watching the wispy tails of moving clouds when I felt a shift in perception.
Everything that had been heightened became dimmed, and instead there grew a white golden light around me.
Out of the formless light there appeared a light shaft, about 100 feet in height. In that moment I could not perceive anything else besides the light and lightfigure. No word was said, yet waves of peace and a never-before felt love entered my body. Time had disappeared.
The figure of translucent light had only shadows that marked the features of a human face. The mouth would open like a gateway transmitting beyond the spoken word. Then the figure dissolved back into the surrounding light. Three symbols appeared before I realized the forest floor again.
I was not able to move for a while after the happening and on the way back home I hardly spoke a word.
A Surprising Move
This continued through the day and finally at supper I surprised myself when I stated, "I feel we will move to the south of Spain."
Spain had never been on my wishlist, as I had longed instead for Scotland.
Since that moment in the light of the radiance of the Higher Self, my behavior changed, guided by agreement. I will never forget how my human existence sat at the feet of its greater universal truth. From that moment, change became the basis of my stability.
With the challenge of the "new" came a choice to heal what had been separated and distorted. At first, there were many angelic visitations that accompanied the healing process which included my letting go of what did not belong to me, and trusting in my innate skills.
Then things quieted down and became integrated into ordinary life. I never lost the dialog or the feeling of connection between my self identity and my Higher Self. What was a singular happening appears to have become more like a river through me, watering the soil. The Higher Self always gives a universal perspective and a way out, no matter how big the challenge.
Over the years I learned also, besides to have dialog with my universal existence, to take care of the needs of my human individuality.
Pioneering in an observant manner the inner planes of the subconscious, I found the soil where the Higher Self had planted seed for the treasures to grow. They are pearls which cannot be bought or taken away. To "know thyself" is the key.
As the ancient writings say in various ways, "Knowing others is intelligence, knowing yourself is true wisdom."
Years after the light-being experience with the Higher Self, I am thankful that higher guidance took me by the hand to overcome the insecurity which almost prevented me from talking with Gary when we first met this lifetime. Our story is told in Is Destiny Real?
From our initial meeting, my inner journey intensified as it constantly melted away the ice of what wasn't truly me. With each year I have become more peaceful, and my inner riches grow. Life is never boring in the perspective of surprise.
Written by Kati Smith, with a little editing by Gary.