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Humor Quotes and Funny Jokes About Pregnant Women - Pregnancy Quotes and Jokes

Updated on May 4, 2011

Humor Quotes and Funny Jokes About Pregnant Women

Humor Quotes and Funny Jokes About Pregnant Women. I like to read humor and laughter about anything pertaining to the world around us -- people, places, situations and anything which will make me laugh. That's what I do at the start of the day I go to sites to read about humor plus I also subscribed to these sites.

Have you heard about humor therapy yes it helps. One author and sociologist once said, the world is a stage where there are many actors and actresses just acting or acting funny.

Pregnancy is a joyful experience, some women would say this is the most exciting part of their lives. Sometimes it can be stressful for some as they are anticipating the changes in their body. There is physical and emotional overloads as the hormones are changing in the body of a pregnant woman.

It is a stage in life where some crazy things happen to you, you crave for the unusual foods, other times you are nauseous when you smell foods. All in all, it is a challenging experience and they say that it is what makes a woman.

Funny Quotes about having a Baby

"Having a baby changes the way you view your in-laws, I love it when they come to visit now. They can hold the baby, and I can go out" By Matthew Broderick

"Diaper backward spells repaid. Think about it"
By Marshall McLuhan

"When choosing a name for your baby, go to the back door and shout it out a few times"

http://media.photobucket.com/image/pregnant/nyett2/pregnant.jpg?o=365
http://media.photobucket.com/image/pregnant/nyett2/pregnant.jpg?o=365

Pregnant women are the butt of jokes and in this hub I gather some humor quotes and funny jokes about pregnant women in the hope that when women and men in their lives read this one, they will smile and share a laughter together. Laughter is the best therapy and medicine and it is free, so come on read this hub "Humor Quotes and Funny Jokes About Pregnant Women" and you will surely laugh.

Humor Quotes and Funny Jokes About Pregnant Women

Question and Answer About Pregnant Women:

  • Question : The more pregnant I get, the more often strangers smile at me. Why?
    Ans -- ‘Cause you’re fatter than they are -- By Anonymous
  • Question : What is the grasp reflex?
    Ans --- The reaction of new father’s when he sees new mother’s breasts -- By Anonymous
  • Question : What are night terrors?
    Ans --- Frightening episodes in which the new mother dreams she’s pregnant again.
  • Question : Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
    Ans --- When the kids are in college.
  • Question : Under what circumstances can sex at the end of pregnancy bring on labor?
    Ans --- When the sex is between your husband and another woman.
  • Question : Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
    Ans --- Yes, pregnancy.

Funny Jokes About Pregnant Women

On Naming babies :

One pregnant lady was in an accident and she woke up in the hospital. She noticed she was not pregnant anymore and asked the nurse what happened to her baby.

And the nurse replied -- -"You have two healthy babies, a boy and a girl!" The lady said, "Oh, I must name them," but the nurse said, "You were unconscious, so we called your brother, and he named them!" The lady said, "But he's as dumb as a box of rocks! So what are their names?-
The nurse said, "The girl is called "Denise." The woman replied, "Well that is a pretty name, so what did he name my boy?"

The nurse replied, "Denephew!"

You shouldn't ask or say these to your gf/wife after giving birth :

  • Hey Baby -- "Got milk?"
  • Honey please move over, don't block the TV
  • "Honey, maybe we should name the baby after my secretary, Girlie."

A Lady Pregnant From A Foreign Country

Once there was a lady from a foreign country who could not understand much English wasn't feeling well and went to see her doctor. -- After examining her he said, --You are pregnant. Please understand that you have an insufficient passage and if you have a baby it will be a miracle.--
Then, the lady rushed home crying and told her husband, "The doctor says I'm pregnant and I have a fish in the passage and if I have a baby it will be a mackerel!".

______________________________

Here at HubPages there are many people who write about funny things - hilarious stories and quotes -- funny quotes and one of them is Mr Nice. Take a look at his funny jokes, humor and quotes about anything from love, friendship and different funny situations around the globe .

This is not a funny quote I like this one by Van Gogh

"If one feels the need of something grand, something infinite, something that makes one feel aware of god, one need not go far to find it. I think that I see something deeper, more infinite, more eternal than the ocean in the expression of the eyes of a little baby, when it wakes in the morning and coos or laughs because it sees the sun shining on it’s cradle."
--- By Vincent Van Gogh

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    • jayjay40 profile image

      jayjay40 7 years ago from Bristol England

      Thanks for making me smile-Loved the Vincent Van Gough quote

    • RevLady profile image

      RevLady 7 years ago from Lantana, Florida

      Humor is indeed medicinal. Thanks for the smiles!

      Forever His,

    • kowality profile image

      kowality 7 years ago from Everywhere

      Pregnant Women always have this glow about them. It can't be easy, but it takes the awkwardness away when they joke about their situation. Very entertaining Hub.

    • jamexican profile image

      jamexican 7 years ago from oceanside,ca

      those were so cute!!! made me laugh...

    • Nellieanna profile image

      Nellieanna Hay 7 years ago from TEXAS

      I think of my mother warning me when I was a mean teen: "just wait till you have mean kids of your own."

      She believed in "laugh and the world laughs with you; cry and you cry alone". She would have loved that "diaper" spelled backwards spells "repaid".

    • Anath profile image

      Anath 7 years ago

      nice ones pretty, some of them just reinforced my anti-baby stand LOL

    • Pamela99 profile image

      Pamela Oglesby 7 years ago from United States

      Miata, This hub was so funny. I really enjoyed it.

    • The Old Firm profile image

      The Old Firm 7 years ago from Waikato/Bay Of Plenty, New Zealand

      Hi Miata, Great hub.

      Are these pregnancy hubs a labour of love?

      Cheers,

      TOF.

    • anglnwu profile image

      anglnwu 7 years ago

      LOL funny. Any pregnant woman could use these quotes to brighten their day. Thanks for doing all the work, now, all we have to do is sit back and enjoy a little laugh.

    • Hello, hello, profile image

      Hello, hello, 7 years ago from London, UK

      Thank you for a good laugh.

    • prettydarkhorse profile image
      Author

      prettydarkhorse 7 years ago from US

      Thank you hello, nice to see you around here always, Maita

    • prettydarkhorse profile image
      Author

      prettydarkhorse 7 years ago from US

      My angel, nice to see you here, Thanks always, Sit back and laugh hehe, Maita

    • prettydarkhorse profile image
      Author

      prettydarkhorse 7 years ago from US

      The Old Firm, well, am not preggers Sir, and yes they are funny LOL and labor of love, hehe. Thank you,

      Actually I joined the 60 day challenge here at HP ahich obliges me to write a series of hubs on one topic, Maita

    • prettydarkhorse profile image
      Author

      prettydarkhorse 7 years ago from US

      Thank you Pam, Maita

    • prettydarkhorse profile image
      Author

      prettydarkhorse 7 years ago from US

      Hi Anath hehe, come on it is nice to have a baby, just one, LOL Maita

    • prettydarkhorse profile image
      Author

      prettydarkhorse 7 years ago from US

      Thank you Mam Nellie, your mom sounds a very nice lady, and you had a meany teen life LOL< but youre a graciuos lady, Maita

    • prettydarkhorse profile image
      Author

      prettydarkhorse 7 years ago from US

      thank you jamexican, Maita

    • prettydarkhorse profile image
      Author

      prettydarkhorse 7 years ago from US

      thank you kowality, it is nice to have laugh at times, and you're correct for some women making fun at themselves is just funny, Maita

    • prettydarkhorse profile image
      Author

      prettydarkhorse 7 years ago from US

      Thank you REVLADY, Maita

    • prettydarkhorse profile image
      Author

      prettydarkhorse 7 years ago from US

      hi jayjay, I love the Van GOgh quote as well, Maita

    • BkCreative profile image

      BkCreative 7 years ago from Brooklyn, New York City

      Fun stuff! And diaper spelled backwards - never made that connection - how clever.

      Thanks so much, Maita, for some good laughs and new humor!

    • prettydarkhorse profile image
      Author

      prettydarkhorse 7 years ago from US

      thanks BK, Maita

    • Dave Mathews profile image

      Dave Mathews 7 years ago from NORTH YORK,ONTARIO,CANADA

      Is it possible to be just a little bit pregnant? Hey Ate' Why all the fixation on pregnancy? Your not preggers again are you?

      If so I know it can't be mine. Whew!

      KUYA Dave.

    • prettydarkhorse profile image
      Author

      prettydarkhorse 7 years ago from US

      No Kuya I am not preggers and you are not the daddy hehehe, Maita

    • theherbivorehippi profile image

      theherbivorehippi 7 years ago from Holly, MI

      lol...I loved the "when the kids are in college" answer! That's awesome! :)

    • Mystique1957 profile image

      Mystique1957 7 years ago from Caracas-Venezuela

      AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! My sweet, Sweet Kaibigan... You have really made me laugh! Good help to ease the pre-labor stress, especially on the fathers, hahahaha! This has been rated up, bookmarked and stumbled! Salamat, for sharing, Normita!

      Warmest regards and infinite eternal blessings,

      Your kaibigan,

      Al

    • prasetio30 profile image

      prasetio30 7 years ago from malang-indonesia

      I can't stop laugh. This hub very funny. Including funny jokes and humor quotes. I am glad to share this hub to my friend who pregnant. thank you very much for making this world so colorful and funny indeed. To appreciate that, I'll rate this Up!

      Prasetio

    • GeneralHowitzer profile image

      Gener Geminiano 7 years ago from Land of Salt, Philippines

      Great Stuff pdh hi prasetio...

    • barryrutherford profile image

      Barry Rutherford 7 years ago from Queensland Australia

      HA HA !!

    • Sandyspider profile image

      Sandy Mertens 7 years ago from Wisconsin, USA

      Wonderful. Thanks for the laughs.

    • prettydarkhorse profile image
      Author

      prettydarkhorse 7 years ago from US

      Hi Herbi, I was laughing at that one as well, hehe, maita

    • prettydarkhorse profile image
      Author

      prettydarkhorse 7 years ago from US

      Sandy, thanks dear, Maita

    • prettydarkhorse profile image
      Author

      prettydarkhorse 7 years ago from US

      Hi Barry, Thanks, it made you laugh! maita

    • prettydarkhorse profile image
      Author

      prettydarkhorse 7 years ago from US

      Hi GH, you're back, good, maita

    • prettydarkhorse profile image
      Author

      prettydarkhorse 7 years ago from US

      Prasetio, share it with your friend, and thank you, Maita

    • prettydarkhorse profile image
      Author

      prettydarkhorse 7 years ago from US

      Mystique it is always a blessing to have you here in my hub, Thank you so much and take care, I am glad it made you laugh, hehe, Maita

    • Mr Nice profile image

      Mr Nice 7 years ago from North America

      Hi Maita,

      Thanks for your recognition & appreciation for Mr. Nice as a funny guy…..hahaha. That was so sweet of you; after all you are a best friend.

      “Be happy. It's one way of being wise.” Sidonie Gabrielle

      It was William Shakespeare who wrote a poem “All the World's a Stage” and he divided into seven stages of life.

      Here are the links to poem & a Youtube video.

      All the World's a Stage by William Shakespeare Original Poem

      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/All_the_world%27s_a_s...

      Youtube link is poem reading with acts very interesting.

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gn05qMTMjIE

      Under what circumstances can sex at the end of pregnancy bring on labor?

      Ans --- When the sex is between your husband and another woman.

      I think husband or BF should create this situation to produce a difficult labor……hahaha.

      You shouldn't ask or say these to your gf/wife after giving birth:

      Hey Baby -- "Got milk?"

      Ans – Yes darling but you can’t have it………hahaha. You shouldn’t ask because you cannot have the milk.

      Because

      ~Milk is for babies, when you grow up you have to drink beer. ~Arnold Swchartz

      Hahahahahaha……thanks for making rest of my weekend. Good composition of funny quotes & jokes about pregnancy. It’s only the mothers who know the joy of pregnancy.

      ~Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared. ~Buddha

      I really enjoyed your hub & have no words to thank you for being a wonderful friend. Have a wonderful weekend. Always thumbs up for you.

    • prettydarkhorse profile image
      Author

      prettydarkhorse 7 years ago from US

      Hey Mr Nice, I owe you a lot already, you make me always smile and one nice write up about you is just a must, hehe, Next time it will be a full hub,

      You never fail to amuse me and make me smile, that video links are superb isn't it, world is a stage and we are all acting up hehe, and nice read by Shakespeare,

      I like the quote by Buddha

      and you are so hilariously funny about milk hehe, they don't need it beer only hehe

      and about creating a difficult labor for your gf or wife, hehe, cruel, just kidding,

      Have a nice weekend, Take care Tony, will visit your hubs later, I am trying to finish my 10 more hubs for the challenge then I am done with writing afterwards -- promoting, Thank you, you're an inspiration, Maita

    • Mike Lickteig profile image

      Mike Lickteig 7 years ago from Lawrence KS USA

      This was a great hub and good for a laugh. Thanks.

      Mike

    • prettydarkhorse profile image
      Author

      prettydarkhorse 7 years ago from US

      Thank you Mike, Maita

    • Mr Nice profile image

      Mr Nice 7 years ago from North America

      Hi Maita,

      You owe me a nothing & you don't have to write a funny hub about me to make fun of me....hahaha all you owe me is a big smile.

      ~If you smile at someone, they might smile back. ~Author Unknown

      BUT

      ~If you don't have a smile, I'll give you one of mine.~ hahaha:D

      Sorry I didn't mean that "I think husband or BF should create this situation to produce a difficult labor"

      I think husband or BF should create this situation only when it is difficult to bring a labor.....hahaha

      ~Smiling is infectious; you can catch it like the flu. Someone smiled at me today, And I started smiling too. ~Author Unknown

      I think 10 more hubs are just a piece of cake for you. I know you can do it. Enjoy rest of your day.

      ~A smile is an inexpensive way to change your looks. ~Charles Gordy

    • drbj profile image

      drbj and sherry 7 years ago from south Florida

      Thank you for the funny hub, Maita. Now I have a new funny favorite joke ... Denise and Denephew. Love it.

    • lovelypaper profile image

      Renee S 7 years ago from Virginia

      Shouting the name out the back door is a good idea. Great hub.

    • prettydarkhorse profile image
      Author

      prettydarkhorse 7 years ago from US

      Hi Mr Nice, thanks LOL, your comments are just so funny, How are you today? I understand your comment about labor and the hubby, hehehehe, OK, Ok here's my smile for you, biggest smile, Thank you and I will wait for your smile too, Thanks for the quotes Tony, Maita

    • profile image

      sord87 7 years ago

      Hi maita ,now i understand why these few days your hub keep appearing in front page with almost similar topic,Good luck to your 60 days challenge.

      A good article to stop hubbing and laugh out for a while, LOL(especially when someone having a mackerel baby),thank you!

    • prettydarkhorse profile image
      Author

      prettydarkhorse 7 years ago from US

      Thank you drbj, Maita

    • prettydarkhorse profile image
      Author

      prettydarkhorse 7 years ago from US

      Hi sord, thank you I made you laugh hehe, Maita

    • prettydarkhorse profile image
      Author

      prettydarkhorse 7 years ago from US

      yes I think so too love lovelypaper! Thank you!

    • Nady profile image

      Nady 7 years ago from Toronto

      cute hub :)

    • AmandaB profile image

      AmandaB 7 years ago from Middletown

      Nice Hub! Very adorable!

    • prettydarkhorse profile image
      Author

      prettydarkhorse 7 years ago from US

      Amanda and Nady, thanks, Maita

    • profile image

      mazecordblood 7 years ago

      Hi Pretty Dark Horse,

      Share this contest with your readers.

      Send us your funniest pregnancy story!

      In 200 words or less tell us about a funny story that happened to a pregnant you, friend, or loved one for the chance to win free cord blood banking or $1000 cash!

      Entries are accepted till Monday October 25, 2010 at 12pm EST.

      The entry form is here:

      http://www.mazecordblood.com/cordblood-contest.php

      Keep up the good work.

      Sara Reed

    • MadelynFinley profile image

      MadelynFinley 7 years ago from United States

      Cute! Love the one about diapers spelled backwards!

    • Sunnyglitter profile image

      Sunnyglitter 7 years ago from Cyberspace

      This was funny! I enjoyed reading it.

    • mythbuster profile image

      mythbuster 6 years ago from Utopia, Oz, You Decide

      Great hub, prettydarkhorse! I definitely laughed. I really like the Marshall McLuhan quote about Diaper=repaid.

    • Ivorwen profile image

      Ivorwen 6 years ago from Hither and Yonder

      The answer to 'grasp reflex' is sooooo true! LOL

    • bane.hellister profile image

      bane.hellister 6 years ago from South Carolina

      That was a good read..Thank You

    • Uriel profile image

      Uriel 6 years ago from Lebanon

      This was really a killer :P

    • mythbuster profile image

      mythbuster 6 years ago from Utopia, Oz, You Decide

      Haha! Maita, I just came back to read the jokes again. Today I like the "When the kids are in college" response/joke.

    • reemhmam profile image

      reemhmam 6 years ago

      I wish you happy times all the time

    • milenaamr profile image

      milenaamr 6 years ago

      This hub was special. I had fun. Thanks. Now pregnancy have different face.

    • LeslieAdrienne profile image

      Leslie A. Shields 6 years ago from Georgia

      Funny hub....thanks for sharing

    • jacobkuttyta profile image

      jacobkuttyta 6 years ago from Delhi, India

      thanks for the laugh

    • roadrunner0924 profile image

      roadrunner0924 6 years ago from Denver, Colorado

      I need that this morning thanks!

    • profile image

      Dchosen_01 6 years ago

      I don't know what to say.... These are classic and indeed very funny. I was trying to pick one or two to tel you how funny they are, but I had to give up as I read more and more funny jokes. Nice hub...

    • profile image

      Patricia 6 years ago

      I hope this wasn't for make fun of pregnant women?! Not all of them will receive that things as joke right? What if one pregnant lady reads this,and gets angry and offended?!

    • prettydarkhorse profile image
      Author

      prettydarkhorse 6 years ago from US

      I hope you did read it Patricia, I am sure it is not offending, If it is to some women, I didn't intend it that way. Thanks for your comment.

    • thehands profile image

      thehands 6 years ago

      Pregnancy...lots of fodder for humor there, I suppose.

    • profile image

      AdSense Tips 6 years ago

      ha ha ha.. it's really funny, thanks for share

    • suzannao profile image

      suzannao 6 years ago from Texas

      This was fantastic!! Thanks for the laughs! :)

    • Rismayanti profile image

      Rismayanti 6 years ago from Tropical Island

      creative, thanks..

    • Pulse101 profile image

      Pulse101 6 years ago

      Thanks for the laugh. I love it!

    • KoffeeKlatch Gals profile image

      Susan Haze 6 years ago from Sunny Florida

      very funny, prettydarkhorse. I especiallylike Matthew Brodericks's quote. It's so true.

    • PaperNotes profile image

      PaperNotes 6 years ago

      Oh Maita, I love this hub. It's hilarious, especially that grasp reflex! Thank you.

    • aslanlight profile image

      aslanlight 6 years ago from England

      Nice bunch of jokes!

    • tasksgirl profile image

      tasksgirl 6 years ago from Los Angeles, CA

      haha I love it

    • Sun-Girl profile image

      Sun-Girl 6 years ago from Nigeria

      Nice hub that really made me to laugh aloud,thanks dear for making me happy with your funny quotes.

    • Sun360 profile image

      Sun360 6 years ago

      Hi prettydarkhorse,a funny and interesting article you actually shared in here.

    • profile image

      Contemporary Htls 6 years ago

      My Mrs is pregnant at the moment, love a good joke!

    • dredcuan profile image

      dredcuan 5 years ago

      A funny and cute hub. I still believe that laughter is the best medicine and it can really easy the pain and make us more comfortable.

    • Annabelle74 profile image

      Annabelle74 5 years ago from San Francisco and New York

      Great hub, love the jokes. We must know how to laugh at ourselves and what better time to do it than when pregnant :)

      Annabelle

      www.ridiculouslife.net

    • Perspycacious profile image

      Demas W Jasper 5 years ago from Today's America and The World Beyond

      Congrats on becoming a "millionaire" (of Hub views, that is!) At my rate (of c. 4,000 in 8 weeks) I could be joining the club in 2,000 weeks, + or - . Wow, what an accomplishment and sustained effort of quality Hubs folks share and enjoy, like this one. Trumpeters, front and center for the fanfare.

    • Anjo Bacarisas II profile image

      Anjo Bacarisas II 4 years ago from Cagayan de Oro, Philippines

      that was very great, that would help pregnant women to relieve stress during their pregnancy.. nice hub !..

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