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I Am Happy Because I Remember Myself! Part 2: The Beginning

Updated on March 18, 2018
Sean Dragon profile image

Sean is a teacher who is writing about his spiritual adventures to help other people find balance and self-respect.

Source

Prayer is when you are talking to your best friend, telling him everything that you are worried about. Because God is your best friend.

— Sean Dragon

The Power of Prayer

Since I was a young boy, I have realized the power of prayer. It has been an implement that was helping me to escape anxiety and fear, to calm down and fill up optimism about what was going to follow. For a reason I could not explain then, I was sure that someone always listens to my prayers, someone who loves me and cares for me a lot. Someone who could forgive the mistakes I continually made, the promises I frequently reneged.

The first substantial evidence that this is true came when I was at the age of sixteen. Then after my prayers that were full of will and faith, a personal miracle happened! A miracle that changed me and determined my future as it became the starting point of a blessed life that led me to what I am today. That's why I always thank those specific prayers which I believe were the beginning of my present happiness.

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After that miracle, I was confident that God listens to all my prayers and prepares the best for me. Much better than the best I could imagine! During my life, there have been proofs of His love again, many times, and that is why my perception of God gradually changed. He stopped being a distant presence in the sky sitting on a throne and judging, as I had been taught until then. He became an affectionate Father who could secure me in His arms every moment and calm me down, giving me the power to continue my struggle. He became my best friend who knew everything about me, both good and bad. A friend whom I did not need to hide anything from, I didn't have to pretend that I am someone else to make Him love me because He always loved me and He was listening to me no matter how big my mistakes were. And the truth is that I made a lot of them and huge ones!

A Magical World Where Prayers Live

There was a very dark period in my life; a time that I betrayed everything in the worst way. I had betrayed the people I loved, the people who trusted me, my principles and everything I thought that was defining me. But most of all I felt that I had betrayed His own faith to me. It was a period when I began to get lost in my shame, my guilt, and self-pity, and to move away from Him because I thought I did not deserve His Love anymore. I had become a Judas in my mind, and that led me into the darkness, far from His Light that I was accustomed to illuminating my life.

But then I realized one more time and beyond any doubt the power of prayer. I understood that every prayer we say to bless and serve, any prayer full of love and faith is never lost. Even if it fulfills its purpose, it continues to live in a magical world where prayers live, and it keeps an eye on us.

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When we find ourselves in such a situation as the one I was, all our old prayers join together their powers, and they locate another prayer, a prayer that someone else has done for us, they fill this one with their energy and light, and then it changes our life. This is one of the supreme laws of the Universe; every good we do will return to us multiplied. The same applies to prayers. Every prayer we say for someone else's sake will somehow support us when we find ourselves in a time of need.

Every time you pray, the prayer becomes a magical creature in the World of Prayers, and it protects you forever with its magical power.

— Sean Dragon

The Prayers of My Beloved Partner

That's how the prayers of my beloved partner worked. My wife's belief in me and in everything kind she had seen and loved in me, strengthened her prayers. Those prayers found the way, the means, and they used my old prayers as "allies," and so they managed to bring me back from the hell where I, and only I, I had closed myself. There was a series of incidents, which in the order they happened, and the entire redemptive conditions they created, only as a miracle can be considered to me.

It has no meaning to describe all those incidents because, without the knowledge of the whole story, they make no sense. But I will mention one of these, because, in fact, is the reason that led me to my "hobby" to write aphorisms that will remind me who I really am and who I want to be. Who I am not and who I do not want to become. These are the "signs" we mentioned in the first part of this series (link to part 1).

The Vision

One night, of that dark period, I was spinning on my bed unable to sleep. My heart was heavy, and my mind was confused. I once again accused myself of how I reached this point. I wished there was a way to delete everything and to begin from the start again. To erase all the pain I had caused to people whom I supposed to love. I thought that I would give everything, even my life, to get rid of this pain, and with that thought, after a long time, I burst into tears. I turned around and sank my head into the pillow so that I did not wake up my wife who was sleeping beside me. I was crying silently for a long time, trying to wash away with my tears, the shame which was suffocating my soul, and at some point, the tears were drained, and I fell asleep, dropping off to the world of dreams.

I was in a dark room, sitting in a corner, with my hands on my face. Then I heard a voice telling me:

“Since you do not sleep, why don't you pray?”

It had been a long time since the last time I prayed; it seemed to me that centuries had passed. Full of shame I answered to this voice:

“Do I have any right to pray? I have lost this right after all those terrible things I have done.”

And the voice answered:

“The same thing believed the thief on the cross beside Jesus. Fortunately, however, only one of the two believed so.”

That shocked me enough. The first thing that came to my mind, for some reason, was egoism. Then a second voice followed:

“How selfish can you eventually become?”

I jumped up, and I stammered:

“Master!”

I saw him in front of me, my beloved teacher, looking at me with a stern gaze. My heart was hammering like crazy. I hadn't seen him for a very long time, and the truth is that I had believed that I wouldn't see him never again.

“What do you think? Do you think that you are superior and you are not allowed to make mistakes?” he told me even more strictly, and continued:

“Now is the time for a great victory. Win the mental pride that brought you here. Stand up against the ego that has deceived you into thinking that the spiritual level you have reached is above the mistakes. Fall on your knees, humbly apologize and forgive yourself. Use this experience to become better and wiser to help the world around you.”

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I fell on my knees and said:

“Master, I cannot forgive myself if He does not forgive me!”

“Oh, you foolish egoist, you are making a great mistake,” he yelled at me. “The exact opposite is true. He cannot forgive you if you do not forgive yourself!”

Suddenly the room filled with light, a beautiful light that was everywhere without any apparent source seen somewhere, and I heard a voice filling the room, like the light, from all over. At that moment I realized that both the light and the voice had their source in me, at the place of my heart and that's why I felt they filled the room without their source being shown. And the voice said:

"My beloved child, why did you stop talking to me?"

I fell back on my knees and burst into tears. I could not speak. I wanted to say so much, but only sobs were coming out of my soul. The voice continued:

"Calm down and answer me to this. You have a good friend; he is your best friend. One day he comes to you and tells you that he has done something like the harm you did. He tells you that he could not forgive himself, that has no longer right to be your friend after he had betrayed your love, and that you should abandon him. What would you do then?"

I raised my head, and without hesitation, I replied:

"I would hug him tightly, and I would tell him that the beauty I have seen in him and my love for him cannot change by any mistake he has made, no matter how big it is. I would tell him that in this world we live in, no one is ready to live his life without mistakes because then it would no longer belong to this world. I would say to him that you can never betray love because love is above mistakes, it corrects all errors. I would, therefore, ask him to forgive himself, to face with honesty the responsibilities and to let me support him with my love to go beyond the mistakes, to sanctify them through love and repentance and so to make them valuable weapons for the continuation of this adventure called life. I would tell him that one thing only I could not forgive, not because I would not want, but because he would not allow me to do it. That would be to leave himself to be lost in self-pity and misery with the result to deprive the world of all those beautiful virtues it could offer."

The words were coming out of me as if they wanted to free for a long time now!

His voice answered me:

“Thank you, my beloved child, my good friend, because you told yourself the words I have been saying to you so many times now, in many ways, but you did not listen to them. All this time I have left around you signs, trying to show you that I cannot forgive you because you do not ask me to do it, not because I do not want it. But you no longer had your eyes open to see them. Thus, they brought me here the prayers of the one who loves you more than her life and is sleeping beside you. They brought me here your prayers, prayers that you have said so many times for the welfare of other people, even people you never met. They brought me here to ask you to let me forgive you in order to go on together and to create more good than the harm you caused. Because you should remember this, what it matters is the sum of your life, not the parts of it alone, or some of your actions. You cannot, as you would say to your friend, live without making mistakes, big mistakes. But you have to struggle to make up for them, creating good multiple of the harm these mistakes cause. That's why you're here, to learn how to correct evil with good. Therefore, learn to forgive, and first of all, learn to forgive yourself, with responsibility and honesty. Guilt is the weapon of the dark side; the repentance is the weapon of the Light. And always remember; remember with every breath you take, that I love you beyond your mistakes. I love you as if you were my only child; I love you as if you were my best friend, I love you because you are a part of Me. We are One.”

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The Awakening

I opened my eyes. It was dawn. I sat up and looked at my life companion beside me. She was asleep. I bent over and gently kissed her cheek. She moved a little and muttered something.

"Shh!" I whispered. "Sleep, it's still early, I love you very much!"

She half-opened her eyes and looked at me giving me a beautiful smile. She closed her eyes and slept again, while the smile stayed on her lips.

I got up quietly and went to the place where she was keeping her painting gear. I took some cardboard and paints and started to make the first "signs" to remind me of the way I wanted to follow from here and now. I had a lot to write. The first one I wrote was:

Source

About the rest, we will talk at the third part of this series.

To be continued...

© 2018 Ioannis Arvanitis

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    • Sean Dragon profile image
      Author

      Ioannis Arvanitis 8 weeks ago from Greece, Almyros

      Thank you, my brother Liam, you always have the way to encourage me!

      I am looking forward to your comments.

      ...and from the lips, to God!

    • Liam D OConnor profile image

      Liam D OConnor 8 weeks ago from Cork

      "Every time you pray, the prayer becomes a magical creature in the World of Prayers, and it protects you forever with its magical power."

      This is beauty, my brother Sean, clear and divine beauty! I thank you for this image that comforts my soul. I have so many to say about your story, so many because I know you well and this is your truth. In time...

      From heart to lips...

    • Sean Dragon profile image
      Author

      Ioannis Arvanitis 2 months ago from Greece, Almyros

      Thank you so much, my dear brother, Tim!

      For now, we are together in His heart; I hope some blessed day we'll meet in person. Until then we are connected in Love!

      Grateful

      Sean

    • Tim Truzy info4u profile image

      Tim Truzy 2 months ago from U.S.A.

      The honor and respect is mutual.

      Knowing you and Manatita gives me more of a reason to see beyond this world. I know when I read your articles, something beautiful and powerful will be communicated from the heart.

      Again, if you visit the U.S., when we relearn the lessons that made us a loving nation, when we embrace gentleness and compassion again, when you feel welcomed, please, know we would be honored to have you visit us.

      May God bless your home, dear brother, and your family,

      Sincerely,

      Tim

      `

    • Sean Dragon profile image
      Author

      Ioannis Arvanitis 2 months ago from Greece, Almyros

      My dear brother, Tim,

      I am so happy that He brought you back after that accident because our world desperately needs beacons like the one you are.

      I am so grateful to His Love giving me the chance and the honor to meet true Brothers like you and Manatita. I have started this "adventure" on Hubpages as I wanted to express my love to the world and now I am receiving more love than I give!

      I think that is true magic, the magic of Love that I never knew you before and now I know that I have a genuine brother across the Ocean, because that is how I feel for you, and that is something that you earned. Thank you, my brother.

      I want you to know that you and your wife have a home here in Greece, anytime open to embrace you. My wife and my four sons send you their love too.

      Your brother in Love

      Sean

    • Tim Truzy info4u profile image

      Tim Truzy 2 months ago from U.S.A.

      Dear Sean,

      I couldn't help but let the tears fill my eyes as I read this story of your life. This is a powerful statement:

      "Prayer is when you are talking to your best friend, telling him everything that you are worried about."

      All of the tragedies and troubles we encounter, all of the problems we create for others and ourselves - Our Lord allows us to make mistakes and make corrections.

      Once I was in a car accident in a coma, and the voice of His Love spoke to me, forgiving me, telling me to forgive myself and walk with Him to the Light. I found out later I had friends and family praying. I discovered also I needed that relationship with Him as well.

      I knew when I read this - there was something special, something potent waiting to inspire and uplift my soul.

      You, too, are deeply in touch with your soul. I pray to keep reading these inspirational works of love and purity.

      I remember from the Bible reading how Our Lord Jesus Christ didn't seek out the rich or the powerful to make disciples, He went to fishermen, a tax collector, and the lowest to raise them up. This I've seen repeated from my studies of other religions in where the followers loved God. Prayer is a powerful connecting tool He has given us.

      God bless you, your wife, and everyone who crosses you path,

      Light begets light,

      Thank you brother,

      Sincerely,

      Tim

    • Sean Dragon profile image
      Author

      Ioannis Arvanitis 2 months ago from Greece, Almyros

      "Though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow."

      Perfect choice my dear Brother Manatita! That is the core of my article and the miracle of Love! You have that talent!

      Blessed and honored by your kind words.

      You are in my prayers.

    • manatita44 profile image

      manatita44 2 months ago from london

      Yes Bro.

      Prayer is truly powerful!! Ask the Desert Fathers and some folks I know of in this life. Forgiveness and loving oneself are important indeed crucial for us.

      "Though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow." KJV. This is a promise He makes to us. Carry on, Bro. Blessed is the one who has found his worth. You seem to have found this.

      I like your aphorisms and videos. Great messages. Praise Be!!

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