Intro to My Experiences With Bipolar

My mother took me to our family practice doctors office one day because I had been suicidal. She wanted to see if I had inherited her mental illness. I filled out a questionaire for what I had no clue at the time. When the doctor looked at it she diagnosed me with bipolar type 2 disorder. And when I was about 25 it progressed into bipolar type 1.

At first I was suicidal, and depressed. I've never been so depressed I couldn't get out of bed, but I have slept in, eaten more, and cried a lot over a variety of things. I've been manic and paced all throughout my home while imagening conspiracis and world war 3. My imagination is so vivid that I couldn't really connect to reality. I did this for a few years not looking for work when I needed to, and just wasted my life on unreal ideas. In some of my hub page rants you can see how manic I was! It got me diagnosed with bipolar type 1. I also developed auditory hullucinations that to this day I find myself listning to with a blank mind most of the day. Out of all my mood shifts I've had they were never as bad as the auditory hullucinations! I've been hospitalized so many times especially because of the ideas and conspiracis my auditory hullucinations have convinced me of.

I've been on Risperdal, trililiptal, remron, abilify, latuda, haldol, and a few others. By far Risperdal and latuda have been the best for me mentally and physically as I lose or maintain my weight on these medications. The only downside to Risperdal was I had to stop taking it because my prolactin levels were going up. I no longer take triliptal because it was a mood stabilizer which I no longer need. I also switched from remron for my antidepressant it worked great and helped me sleep for many years. I quit taking abilify mainly because it made me gain weight and was what I was taking when my auditory hullucinations started I honestly think it caused them. Latuda is the best medicine I've ever been on for bipolar. I'm even and level. Haldol was the worst medication I've ever taken. I couldn't communicate at all on that medication. I remember being in the office with my med provider and she couldn't get me to say a word to her. I was stuck in my head just laughing and shit for no reason in her office. It was creepy! I don't ever want to be that way! So I wasn't on haldol for very long.

I'll go more into the into details of each coping skill in other articles specifically for each coping skill I've used and more as I have better ideas or more experience with each coping skill.

For when I'm angry beyond reason I will clean the house and rearrange it to my liking and everyone else can basically suck it when I done if they don't like it. I'll also get a box knife and cut up boxes and cardboard into tiny pieces. This works too cause I get to violently deconstruct something and productively get rid of old boxes. I've also used scissors on milk cartons and cut those up too.

When I'm sad I take it easy. I've never really learned how to cope with sadness and depression, I try to do things like watch anime and Korean dramas. That does cheer me up. And I'll write in my journal about how I feel and come up with things to do that would make my life better, it's great for goal setting. Also if you go back and read and reread what you wrote you remind yourself of ways to better your life and are more likely to push on with it.

When I'm manic I have a tendency to think about conspiracy theories, religion, inventions, story ideas, and put out applications for jobs -- but now that I have a job I don't really look anymore. I also write a bit about diffrent things in my mind and start big book ideas. The best thing for this is a stable person -- for me my boyfriend -- who is sane, can call you out when your conversation is strange and conspiring. My boyfriend has me stable with our daily routines and his expectations improve me. He wants the best for me and tells me how to handle everything. When I'm in bed listening to my auditory hullucinations he will make me get out of bed and talk to me, have me run to the store for him, or play video games with him. He also told me to use mantras, and I might try spells and magic as well to cope with this. Tarot cards also help because I analyze what they say and how they apply to me. So friends and relationships without use and abuse are a must. They can be the biggest triggers or the greatest support system. So productive sane and sensative friend's are Necessary people who can joke with you and not encourage conspiracy theories but distract from them.

So the best things I've used are listed here as well as medications. I hope this provides a good starter base for my next articles on bipolar disorder and how to cope. I feel I could have done better if I wasn't so overwhelmed by all the stuff I had to think of but I didn't really make an outline. I'm sorry if it's not very helpful to you but hopefully my next article can be of better use. Thanks for reading and as they say at walgreens be well!