Surviving Cancer With a Smile!
One year cancer free
I was diagnosed with breast cancer in September 2017. I was 43 years old. My life fell apart for the months after until I got surgery in January 2018. Those four months of waiting were the hardest thing I had to face, psychologically, since I was diagnosed.
But, first things first, did I realised I had cancer?
Well, my left nipple got different, so I suspected, and I started to feel a lump, or something hard, inside my left breast. That's why I went to the doctor. She confirmed it was cancer. When I got home I realised I had to tell my husband and my 12 year old daughter, and I started crying. Every scenario crosses your mind. It was a terrible time…
I was smiling because I survived… I survived.
Finally, the surgery
I was referred to IPO Lisboa, a hospital specialising in cancer treatment in the Portuguese capital, and I waited four months to have surgery. That waiting period was terrible. I knew I had cancer, I knew it was killing me, and nothing was being done… I was just waiting…
I had surgery in January 2018. Everyone in the hospital was fantastic. I had a great team of doctors and nurses taking care of me. Unfortunately, the cancer had already spread to my lymph system and I was submitted to an axillary dissection. That was another hard thing I had to face: knowing that I would have limited capacities in my harm for the rest of my life…
To make thinks harder I had some complications with my surgery and had to stay in the hospital longer. But I was smiling because I survived… I survived.
Hope of living
Going home with four drains attached to my armpits was not a great image or something comfortable, but, once again, I did it with a smile on my face because… I survived.
That was all that matter, and still is all that matters. Survival and the possibility of living. I want to see my daughter grow up. I want to help her face life and all its problems and beauty. I hope my health problems and financial problems will end so I can travel again. I do love travelling and I can’t do it right now…
When my hair fell, I smiled and joked about it.
But, I digress. Yes I survived surgery, and the doctors were hopeful. But I still had to face physiotherapy, chemotherapy and radiotherapy. Because it had spread I had the all set!
I committed myself to be happy, to face it all and to find it all easy. It wasn’t easy, but I had to believe it was. I needed to be positive and smile through it all! I pride myself of being able to do it.
When my hair fell, I smiled and joked about it. I tried different looks: wigs, scarves, hats, hats and wigs, scarves and wigs and turbans. I decided the turban was the best thing. The easiest one and stuck to it.
Then my eyelashes and eyebrows also fell. I tried false eyelashes, but hated the result, so I just painted them and used a “tattoo” effect for the eyebrows and laughed about it.
My chemotherapy started in March 2018, while still on physiotherapy and ended in June 2018, one day after my birthday. I was so relieved when it ended. It was brutal to my body and my immune system. I had fever several times and had to go to the emergency room three times. They could only introduce the catheter in my right harm (it is one of the limitations of my left – can’t be harmed in anyway), so my veins were very weak and burnt after the third chemo session (in a total of six – one every three weeks). Some of my veins are still burnt…
My nails and toes got brown, with lumps and fell. I painted over with unusual colours...
Tattooing eyebrows...
painting fingernails...
I specially want to hug my daughter every day for many years to come.
I will keep smiling!
In July I started radiotherapy for 30 sessions… Close to the end, when my skin was burnt and wounded, I still smiled.
Radiotherapy ended in September. People around me celebrated as if it was all over. It isn’t. Besides the fact that I was still bald, I am not still free. Every little pain scares me. Every lump I feel scares me. I have to return to physiotherapy now because my harm is swelling. I’ll be on hormonotherapy for years, taking a pill that weakens my body and a hurtful injection every month that makes me just want to stay in bed the all week after… But, again, I survived and I try to smile and to not let my fear and tiredness win. I want to live… I want to travel again, hopefully, and I specially want to hug my daughter every day for many years to come.
