ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Learn How to Cope with Infertility

Updated on February 9, 2013
Source

Having personally struggled with infertility, I understand the pain, frustration, and emotional toll it can take on both you and your family. When all you want is to be pregnant, it can be devastating when it doesn’t just happen.

My husband and I struggled for four long years as I underwent hormone therapy, IUI, and IVF, and I’m thrilled to report that we are the happy parents to twin boys born in 2011. However, the road to our success was paved with heartache, loss, and many bitter feelings along the way. More than once I was certain that if I received one more birth announcement or baby shower invitation I would surely go insane.

Looking back at those four years, I can clearly isolate which coping methods worked well for me, and which were less successful. Below, I’ve listed some helpful ways to cope with infertility; best wishes!

Make Room for your Feelings

The I spent the first two years of our fertility treatment convincing myself that I wasn’t upset about my infertility. I’d muster a smile and insist, “it’s no big deal; we’ll just try again next month.” In reality, however, I was confused and angry. Why couldn’t I get pregnant? Why was I incapable of doing what a woman is designed to do?

These feelings built up in me until one day, coincidentally, the same day a good friend announced her unexpected pregnancy, I snapped.

No one, not my husband, family, or friends, judged me for feeling angry or upset, but for some reason, I didn’t think it was ok to feel that way. I was wrong.

The bottom line: I felt less stress and much more at ease as soon as I accepted and allowed myself to feel the normal emotions I was experiencing.


Talk to a Trusted Friend

Talk to a group of women and you’ll find that infertility (to varying degrees) is much more common than you might expect. It can be very comforting to hear some of their stories and talk through your own. Building a good support system of female friends can be a lifesaver.


Do Your Homework

Infertility can make you feel powerless, but you can take some of that power back by doing a little research.

Are there any lifestyle changes that you or your partner can make that may increase your chances of conceiving? Have you been tracking your ovulation accurately? Have you researched your diagnosis? If so, do you have any questions about it for your doctor? Have you researched the medication you’ve been prescribed? Do you think you’re seeing the right doctor? Does his/her experience, expertise and bedside manner suit you? Has your partner gotten a physical recently? Do you have a family history of infertility? Etc.

Get Some YOU Time

Fertility treatments can be time consuming, all encompassing, and emotionally draining. Consider taking a “vacation” for a month or two to regroup and de-stress. My husband and I took several of these breaks along the way (frankly, my body needed the break after being pumped with so many hormones!). We took road trips and even traveled to Europe (something on my bucket list), two things we figured would be exponentially more difficult once we had kids. Though, of course, no fancy get away is required here.

While it can be hard to rationalize taking a month off (after all, it could be THE month), it’s nice not having to worry about shots, blood work, and hormone levels for a few weeks. Not to mention, the attention you give yourself will only add to your ability to give back to your future children.


Talk to a Professional

If you find it’s simply too difficult to cope with infertility, it’s time to seek the advice of a trained professional. Your doctor will be more than willing to give you a referral for a mental health professional that specializes in infertility or women’s health.


Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • iheartkafka profile imageAUTHOR

      iheartkafka 

      5 years ago

      I'm glad you found it helpful, fcmosher.

    • drsohel profile image

      drsohel 

      5 years ago from Dhaka, BD

      Infertility definitely puts burden us. But as you mentioned-- these might help. My wife's first pregnancy positive test resulted in blighted ovum. The time period before conceiving for the second time was very tense. Though it was not a case of infertility...thought of happening similar things filled our mind. This was very stressful time. So infertility definitely going to be much and much more stressful. I think, your advice will help someone. Thanks for sharing.

    • fcmosher profile image

      FCM 

      5 years ago from near the Equator

      Great hub, well-written, with a serious impact. thanks.

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)