Love Yourself Before Someone Else Does

What a great hub that I never read before. It's a perfect article to share on my last hub. Thanks Billy

Wow, Bill! As you can see, I'm about a month behind in reading my Hubmail. But everying for a reason! Yesterday, I published a poem I wrote way back in the 70's. It's called "As the Sun Comes Up". It was written about love for who knows who at the time. When I posted it, I realized it was me I love! I've learned so much about myself here, but I digress....

As an Air Force Brat, I've attended 13 schools in my lifetime. It was hard. I was accepted in Catholic school (grades 3 thru 8) because I was smart. However, upon moving from Philly to Jersey and attending public high school, I was shunned for that very reason. I was smart, so I wasn't cool. I had no "popular" friends and none of the popular guys would date me. That is, until I left home upon graduation. I busted out. I hit every no-no. Then I became popular. But with BIG consequences that I don't care to go into now.

I began writing poetry. To me, it wasn't poetry, it was a release. It helped me voice and grow. To sort myself out. Much of what I post here on HP is just that. Although, when I do, I see myself in a different light. Most of my yearning for love was not that of someone else, but of myself. I can honestly say now, that I love myself. And much of that I attribute to you and the select few who have bothered to come to know me.

Awesome hub, my friend. Probably the best in this series! Thank you for reaching out to me. You are a friend for life!!

Yes indeed "Know and Love Thy Self" first and foremost and love will find your Karma. I struggled with Love all my life, I lost much and hurt loved ones around me and placed to much emphasis on money, stuff and my own ego. I paid the ultimate price by losing 3 of my 4 children. My ex pointed out to them that their father was unloveable and they believed her and for the past 13 years I struggled without them in my life.

Fortunately I kept my sanity even though the bottle also was a close companion and kept me in another world much of the time. It affected my career and changes had to be made. I was able to find my way with help from prayer and close friends.

Yes my creator decided not to abandon me. I am living proof today like you Billybuc that our ugliness can be recognized as unique and turned around for the good. I encourage the young to feel good about themselves, stay positive on life and don't let negativity bring you down. Be proud of who you are and stay focused.

I had a tough time with my youngest son and it took me two years to bring him round to being confident. Today he is 18 and his life is turned around for the better, I am very proud of him and he knows it. This was a compelling hub and video and I thank you for sharing it with us. You reached many souls here and I truly believe your words will be shared and passed on to help others. Peace and blessings to you sir.

You are the logic in my storm of confusion my dear friend! What a lovely hub and so greatly written I made my two teenagers read it. After the required 'eye roll' and 'Seriously mom?' they both walked away with a smile. I see my both my boys struggle with self image everyday and it pains me they do not see themselves as the incredible individuals I do! I only hope your insightful hub shined some light on them! I am so grateful to you and your kind words of encouragement and sincerely written hubs! Thank you greatly my friend!!!

The first time I felt that Love was in a treatment center back in 1996. It was after the an evening group one night and everybody got up and held hands and said the Lords prayer. I'll never forget it. I knew at that moment there was hope for me. God bless.. and Happy 4th!

Bill, Thank you for sharing your story. I can relate to so much of what you wrote. Before I discovered alcohol, I was one of those people that could never see the value in myself.. alcohol helped me do that but then it turned on me. I learned what it meant to truly feel worthy and KNOW that I meant something to others in the rooms of AA. I really don't know if I learned to love myself first or if I learned to love them and in turn I loved myself... It honestly all seemed to come at the same time.. I just learned LOVE period and it spread out to all areas of my life. Even though I haven't been to a meeting in quite a while, I still haven't forgotten those things and the truth that was planted. Your hubs always remind me of it :)

Have I not read this yet? I'm working on getting there, Bill. Can't say I love myself absolutely, but I'm working on things. You're such an inspiration--to me and a lot of others out there. Keep it coming! Thanks for writing this.

Self-reflection is not for the young. You're wrapped up in what you're peers are doing but sometimes, that is an eye-opener! I like myself sometimes but my self-esteem could be better at times, still it keeps me honest :o). My daughter is only 17 and I think it's harder for her generation than mine.

Another thought provoking hub Bill -well written, well considered and interesting as always.

This is so wonderful. Thank you! Low or no self-esteem surely doesn't come from what someone looks like. I have known the most beautiful girls who see themselves as ugly. Having one's spirit crushed by outside influences is so tough to overcome. Hopefully this will help those struggling with a "crushed spirit." It is so empowering to know that we can nurture ourselves to a place of self-confidence. We need not be paralyzed by negative influences from our childhood. Whew. You are a wonderful example of hope and what wonderful things can happen when you refuse to give up! Many thanks!

I agree that I wish we could learn this earlier in life, but we can't. One thing that can be good however is that sometimes you have scars. You can see the scars as mistakes in the past, but they do not force you to follow them in the future.

Billy muy fine friend - The more I learn the more pride I have for the person you are. You stand as an inpsiration to so many who have experienced the same thing. I cring when I look back at some of mine. Such a proud road you can see as you turn and look over your shoulder - while continuing to walk ahead.

Proud to know you.

What an incredibly moving piece of writing, the video even more so, you are a reassuring presence there, Bill.

Another gem from you billybuc. Your article is so poignant. It brings home all those feelings we have all experienced one time or another. It took me a while to get there too but I've found my happy ending and I am now making sure to instil love of self in my son from and early age to avoid this unnecessary anguish later on. Thank your for this wonderful hub.

i find myself now in a very bad situation. BUT!... I did live a glorious life.

my wife really did dance with a prince (Norway, when he was attending Berkeley)... those flags really were floating in mid air... I really did deliver toys to thousands of kids. in 2099 cornerstones will be opened and people will say "who the heck was Martin Kloess?"

Sadly, it is something someone must learn for him/herself. I was the weird nerdy kid throughout middle school, started to step away from it a tiny bit moving into high school and college, but didn't really start to...discover myself? Until after college. I spent so long as the strange kid getting picked on it was very difficult to move past that self image. It doesn't matter how many times someone else tells you something, you have to internalize is and believe it for yourself.

Great hub.

Bill I am Wishing you all peace, happiness and love! You are awesome and you always write such a awesome hubs..and this one is the best.. It really touched my soul.. I needed to read it my friend.. I am 60 will be 61 in a few days.and I have been fighting getting old.. I keep dying my hair.. lol.. Maybe I need to quit.. thank you friend.. sharing

Debbie

Billy, You really articulate your experiences along with your thoughts in a way that most anyone can relate to on some level. I have painfully learned that joy and self love are something that came to me slowly. Its unfortunate that it took me so many years to have such satisfaction with my life, even with my health problems and so forth. Much of the change in me happened when life beat me down to a point when I finally looked up and knew I was a child of God, and loved unconditionally. I was just okay, and that is peace and joy.

Your series of hubs have been very eye opening and I am glad you have the ability to give your message in writing and on the video. Awesome hub.

Darn straight, Bill! :) My peers didn't know what to make of me; I was an officer in ROTC (goofy), an editor on the school newspaper (way cool), a captain on the rifle team (popular), volunteered at the National Federation of the Blind organization (more goofy), attended mostly AP classes (popular), hung out with my little brother at lunch (he was a sophomore) (dorky), and worked in the daycare at the Church of the Nazarene during summer (they didn't know what to make of that). I liked to keep everyone on their toes and me from getting bored. :)

Love this hub! It was so interesting and engaging to read. Thank you for sharing your life experiences. I too hope that many kids and teenagers read your inspiring hubs.

Great hub. I totally agree, each one of us are unique. We should be able to appreciate ourselves. Self-esteem and confidence follows automatically. Voted up. Each and every one of your hubs have many lessons to be learned. I learn a lot from you and you are generous to share all your experiences with us. Your aura shines brightly through your hubs.

This is one the most beautiful Hubs I've read in a long time. It's beautiful because it carries a very important message to anyone who reads it. I was a painfully shy child and felt very unworthy. It took me years like yourself, to begin to like myself. I can honestly say now, Yes, I like myself!

I voted this UP, etc.etc. and will certainly share so other can read your message.

BTW You are a very handsome man!

Bill you and I both know, that being yourself takes a great deal of internal works, and its not easy at all. This quite frankly is one of the most difficult tasks for any human soul to truly accomplish, because many of us are misdirected, misinformed, and truthfully misguided by differing trends in society to become followers, as opposed to leaders of our own.

Now there comes a time in a persons life when they must face the consequences for their actions of shoving their real self to the side, and all of us know how that feels to truly feel alone, in a crowd of so-called friends that shower you with a false love, and false sens of security.

You my friend have earned the knowledge of self, and shall receive the honorary accomplishment of filtering out those who are fake from those who are real, and to rise up to the occasion to earn real friends, because you have become the real you.

I commend you on such an high esteemed accomplishment, because the Lord knows to do so is to look inside of your soul, which is physical nor visible. Powerful words Bill, powerful words indeed.

Voting on this one won't do it its proper justice neither, and I will pray for you tht this hub gets noticed by all those people world wide who need it most.

Cheers to great hubbing and awesome sharing factors, which this one is getting sent across the waves of networks I'm responsible for conducting on and sharing. Wow!

Very inspirational Hub with a great message. You should be speaking to kids in local schools and help them learn how to make the right choices early in life and to love themselves. GClark

Voted up awesome!

Billybuc, you don't look like a nerd to me especially not in your baseball uniform. Lol. I really like the message on loving yourself in this hub. For some people, their self-worth is dependent on the approval of others. It's funny how the mind works. A painful event can cause an impact in one person by painful memories or emotions in response to a trigger. Even years later, (Darkness, darkness, be my pillow) you found yourself replaying that event of being called that little nerd in your mind.) I am glad that you were able to conquer it and regain that confidence back. By the way, the mirror exercise is one of the most powerful self-acceptance exercise you can do. "I am worth knowing."

bill....I shocked myself at the immediate way in which I answered your question...."yes."......I hit it instantly. And now I'm smiling and feeling so damned accomplished and proud........WHY?

Oh, my friends.....because 20 years ago, I could not have answered this question....or most other questions about my OWN feelings......at all.

Back then, I would have stared at the questions......read them over and over as if I didn't understand them.....worry about making sure I choose the right one....the honest one......the easiest one.

I don't have that problem today. Not at all. Sometimes .....damned HARD work really does pay off!!!.....................Peace!! UP +++

Beautiful message, i remember Jimmy Buffet ' ultimately i love myself, if you don't that's ok, but i am proud of what i am....great hub, voted up

:Love of self is, truly, an inside job, and it takes work. It takes constantly feeding the soul with positive thoughts. It takes surrounding oneself with people who are supportive and affirming, accepting you for who you are. It takes looking in the mirror and seeing yourself as that priceless treasure."

Bill, this is some incredible insight! If only every teenager could read this a few times. If we don't love ourselves, how can we love others. So often people try to fit in, thinking that will give them success. If only they knew how wrong they were. Another excellent thought provoking hub uncle Bill!

I like how you mentioned seeing yourself as a priceless treasure, we are special!

BEAUTIFUL message, Bill! I wish more people understood that. I discovered I really liked who I was my senior year of high school. The day I borrowed my dad's best friend's really cool camel skin fringe jacket and wore it to school (1986 - it was an anti-fashion jacket). I got laughed at by all the popular kids. Did I take it off? HELL NO! I liked it, it was comfy and I realized, I didn't give a rat's behind what anyone else thought, only MY opinion was important to me.

My best friend asked me what the hell I was thinking, and I told her I wasn't wearing it to fit in or be popular, and from that day forward, I stopped caring what others thought because it didn't make me who I was and I wasn't reliant upon them to tell me who or what I was. Suddenly, my whole group of friends changed. And I'm happy to report, most of the "new" group of friends that I made in my senior year, I am still friends with. I wonder how many of the "old" group of friends I'd still be talking to if I hadn't discovered that I loved myself.

VUMS.

Incredible Hub Bill - If we could learn this lesson of self-worth early on in life, think of how well adjusted we would all be. (Love the baseball uniform, by the way.)