Life of Purpose for You
I want to begin by you taking a piece of paper and a pen.
First – draw how you see yourself
Second – write down one word that describes that self-potrait
What did you notice when you saw the person you are today? Is it your true self or a perception of who you think you are?
Now, let’s go beyond yourself to your world. Depending on how you see yourself, is this the way you see the world? How many of you think life is beautiful? Or do you see a world full of racism and war?
When I was in high school, I was very complex person. I still am a complex person, but my thoughts are quite different than what they were then.
As a teenager I thought things such as:
“I’m fat” “I’m short” “I’m ugly” “I’m stupid.”
I had way too many insecurities and an excuse for every opportunity that came along.
Today, I still am not a tall person or beautiful or a smart person. However, I think quite differently than that negative teenager.
I can wear 5” heels and be tall. I am beautiful because I’m a mixture of my mom and dad. I am healthier than I was in high school. I am smart or I wouldn’t be where I’m in life.
I am where I’m today because of the choices I have made. I am not where I want to be because of the choices I have not yet made.
Life is not about the cards that were dealt to you when you were born. Life is about what you did with those cards or how you played the game. Did you play solitaire, Go Fish, Crazy Eights, Slap Jack, or BlackJack?
Your perception of how you see life defines how you live your life and how happy and at peace you are with yourself. Do you see life as a war that needs winning? Do you compare yourself with others? Are you always competing with others? Is the world always after you?
How do you live your life?
One thing I found in my life is that when I don’t have goals – I do tend to compare, compete, and feel the world is after me. Having goals helps your mind focus on what you want out of your life. It helps you reach the person you envisioned rather than feeling sorry for yourself.
Life goals are set based on three main legs that I’ve noticed in my life:
- Emotional maturity
Controlling your emotions doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t express anger when you feel angry or cry when you feel sad. But, emotional maturity is being able to handle life’s ups and downs without overreacting.
If you could stay in control and at peace no matter the external environment, you are resilient. You will be able to handle anything life throws at you much better and more positively. You will be more in tune with who you are a person. You will also have better control of your actions and reactions.
We all have certain core beliefs which we were raised with by our parents, culture, and events in our lives. These beliefs are like the operating system of a computer. Everything depends on it – quality of our thoughts, feelings, attitude, personality, and finally our destiny.
However, we need to sometimes pause and question what belief system is creating certain reactions. For example, if you compare yourself to someone else and then feel inadequate; you should ask why? Maybe you were told that you are ugly when you were younger and it has created that belief in your mind.
By questioning your beliefs, create more positive beliefs which will then align a system in more harmony with your feelings and your relationships with others.
Lastly, understanding who we are and what makes us tick, helps us achieve what we really want in life. Certain values we create to avoid pain or to be happy. However, other values are defined based on our culture, our upbringing, and our belief system. Values generate behavior. Values also relates to what one wants and in what order.
We however need to be careful that we don’t start expecting others to have the same values. My values may be quite different than yours.
I found it is good to be clear on our values so that we don’t hold expectation from others. This in return will prevent disappointment and it will help control your reaction.
No one has a perfect life no matter how a person may appear to you. If your legs are strong, your foundation will be strong to create a person you want and therefore a life you want to live. Then your self portrait would be your true self. After all, life is in our hands, we just need to create it.
Take a piece of paper and write down 3 things you want to do in your life that you haven’t done yet. Now, answer me one question, why haven’t you done those yet?!