Living with bipolar/tourettes

Sometimes, it is a skeleton in our closet. Sometimes, that closet door gets opened and then... life changes for those that have a mental disorder and for those that love the inflicted. Bipolar disorder and Tourettes are often disorders that we, as the "carrier", want to keep secret. There is so much hype today about whether being bipolar makes you more likely to commit a crime. T.V. shows make their "crime" character bipolar and then play off of that scenario. Not wanting to be label a liability to anyone, the disorder is kept amongst only those closest to the inflicted.

I have been bipolar for longer than I care to say. I was also diagnosed with Tourettes a few years back. Both disorders come with actions and emotions that are sometimes hard to deal with. Simply things like a visit from a friend or family member that stretches out longer than expected can trigger issues with the disorder. Un-invited guests that just drop by to say hello may be met with the bipolar person being over emotional or anxietic. Changes of even the smallest act can trigger huge issues if they are done without discussion.

These are not emotions that a bipolar person wants or causes. They are simply part of living with the disorder on a daily basis. Tears for no reason and the desire and Need to be alone can sometimes control our entire day or week. The public or those that live with the bipolar person can suddenly seem like 10 million people. As it is with most illnesses, not everyone that is bipolar will have the same actions or reactions, but they will all share the anxiety attacks and the fear of being "boxed in" or feeling as if they are unable to catch a breath.

Living with bipolar begins the moment I open my eyes in the morning and ends... Never. Even sleep is often filled with thoughts that go so fast they can not be stopped long enough to deal with. Sleep is all too often something that comes to me only because my body shuts down and says "enough." Two to three hours of sleep is to me what 10 hours of sleep to someone that sleeps normally. Whether I know it or not, the sleep deprivation does effect me daily. But the mind doesn't always stop, simply because sleep is not always there.

Those that love us and that we call "safe places" try hard to understand and be supportive. How does one support a person that one moment may want to be hugged and the next second feels as if the touch was un-welcome? How do they know what will trigger our emotions and cause us to back up and seek a place to be alone. How nice it would be if we lit up green, yellow or red so that our loved ones would know if it was o.k. to snuggle or crowd us. Unfortunately , we do not come color enhanced.

As for whether or not we are more likely to commit a crime because of this disorder, though crimes are committed by people that have a disorder such as bipolar or tourettes, most crimes are committed by "criminals." People that steal or rape or kill. And most of them, just have issues, not bipolar. I myself am as close to a pacifist as you can be. I have a gentle, calm nature. The only thing I think that was enhanced by being bipolar is my writing novels. It for certain opens up a whole world for the Fiction writing mind.

As an ending to this post, interestingly enough is this fact... 46% of the entertainers, whether it be singers, song writers, actors and actresses, are bipolar. Hmmm??? Doesn't sound violent to me.