- Mental Health
Loss of A Constant Companion
A constant companion, whether it is with a person a place or a thing, becomes a habit. Something becomes a habit when it is repeated over and over. A habit becomes our "comfort zone". When something or someone we have become habitual with is gone or changed, the loss we experience is inexplicable, the loss of a constant companion, our comfort zone.
Most often when we think of the loss of a constant companion we connect that thought to something or someone who brings love and enhances our lives in some way. Yet often times this constant companion causes pain and it is something we do not enjoy. It is a constant companion all the same, and a habit to which we have become accustomed. The loss of a constant companion whether it is one that brought us joy or pain is experienced exactly the same.
Our Comfort Zones and Constant Companions
As most of us consider a comfort zone, we would imagine that this is a good place to be. "Comfort zone" does not imply "good" it implies habit, what one has become accustomed to. Why don't people leave abusive relationships, and if they do, they go right into another abusive relationship? Why do people become addicted to drugs, alcohol, tobacco, food and other things? These are comfort zones, what a person has become accustomed to. As terrible as these things may appear to be and even the person experiencing them will attest that they are, they have become constant companions, habits, their "comfort zone". To do without them is a loss, the same loss experienced when someone or something that has brought us much love and life enhancement has passed away or gone.
Habits, "comfort zones" are not limited to drugs, alcohol, tobacco and non productive relationships. These also include wars, news coverage of wars and natural disasters, reading of wars, crimes and disasters. These are all habits that many have become accustomed to. It is a "comfort zone" to get our news "fix", it is on the internet, the radio, the television, in the newspaper and numerous magazines. The stories never really change just the names, faces and places. We as a society have become accustomed to these things, they are our constant companions. Pain is another constant companion and "comfort zone", I have witnessed myo-release techniques that put everything back into perfect alignment and the recipient who is without pain and imperfection will move as if the pain and imperfection still exists until it returns, bringing back the "comfort zone". Pain, and conflict has a memory in our cells, just as love and harmony.
Losing The Comfort Zone
Understand that letting go of any of these has the potential of leaving devastion in its wake just as the loss of a loved one who brought us love and enhanced life experience. When we lose a constant companion what we have lost is our comfort zone, what we have become accustomed to and the way it makes us feel. We become lost, confused, dazed, sometimes seemingly unable to function even in the most basic of ways. We don't know how to eat, to sleep and perform the basic functions we have always done. We have to learn new ways to do even these most basic of life functions.
The Comfort Zone of habit is so addictive in its own right it is the only true addiction. Loss of the comfort zone is devastating.
Feeling The Loss together
When the loss of a constant companion is associated with love and enhanced life experience it is obvious how to comfort and assist. We understand the grieving process and are there for support and have others supporting us whichever it may be. It is known and apparant that this person is going through a rough transitional time in their life. We feel the loss together.
When the loss of a constant companion is someone or something associated with danger, as in the case of abusive relationships and drug, alcohol and tobacco addictions, evening news and pain, it is viewed differently, but experienced the same. Typically we tell them good riddance, aren't you glad that is gone from your life? No, they are not always glad and it is not always good riddance, they have lost a constant companion and their comfort zone. We need to feel this loss together too.
Feeling the loss and renewal together
Finding Comfort and Providing Comfort
When the sometimes difficult decision is made to let go of and lose a constant companion, a "comfort zone", a habit, that is not associated with love and life enhancement a grieving plan has to be in place. Let others know what you are experiencing, share your loss, have a plan that includes support that provides comfort, it can be done alone, but is better done with the help of others.
If by chance you know of someone who is overcoming addiction of any nature, or experiencing the loss of an abusive or non productive relationship understand they have lost a constant companion. Understand their loss and that it is a loss, not good riddance. Console, comfort encourage, support as they learn a new way of life without this constant companion whom was considered a friend.
A Brighter Day Ahead
Have A Plan
How lost would any of us be without our pain we have become accustomed to or the "job" of fixing the pain? How lost would some of us be without the abusive relationships or the "job" of helping with them? How many of us would be lost without war, crime, natural disaster and news to feed on and give us jobs to "fix"? Prepare, have a plan these habits, constant companions and "comfort zones" have no place in the times ahead.
Create a plan, a personal one and one as a society as we prepare for the loss of these "constant companions". To allow ourselves time to grieve their loss as we move into a time a space where these "comfort zones" can no longer thrive and exist. Where our comfort will be one another as we move into a millenium of peace through these war stricken times. Where we can thrive in unconditional love for ourselves and one another, where the lion does indeed lie down with the lamb. Prepare, have a plan these habits, constant companions and "comfort zones" have no place in the times ahead..