Managing Anger: How to Tell If You Have the Anger Problem

You will always see anger in others before seeing it in yourself. When someone speaks to you harshly, launches insults or begins yelling at you, or has a harsh look on their face, there's little doubt that they are angry. Although you easily see those signs in others, it is often hard to recognize them in yourself.

We all have blind spots in that area of our lives. Although you may view yourself as very aware of what you say and do, when it comes to anger, your awareness may be lacking. This is one of the reasons why you are so shocked when someone tells you that you have some anger issues.

The first time they tell you, it is likely that you ignored what they said or dismissed it. In some cases, you may have actually blew up on the person saying something to you about your anger, yelling “I am not ANGRY!”.

There's something about anger that gets triggered when it's pointed out. At that moment, there is a shocking realization that yes, you do have some problems with your anger.

Some of the signs of your anger are obvious if you take the time to look. The first thing that you can do is look at yourself in the mirror when you are being ‘passionate’ about something. If your face is angry looking, red or your veins start popping out as you talk, it shows you clearly there are some anger issues going on.

You may refer to your anger as being passionate or expressive or being stern. The hearer often knows better. They see the muscles tighten in your neck, or your nostrils flaring or your ears turning red. They see for themselves that you are getting angry. They also hear it in your voice.

No matter how much you deny it, the evidence is there for all to see. Denying anger when you are red-faced makes you look foolish.

There are some people whose anger is so intense, it shows in their eyes as well. Instead of kind, soft eyes, they are harsh, intense and cold.

Besides the look, there is also the raised voice. Since your speech is regulated by internal mechanisms, the volume you think you are speaking at is different than what comes out.

Although you want to trust your body and those internal mechanisms, they can be tricked or overridden. Since we often adjust our volume to the surrounding noise levels that are taken in, the volume of your voice may be turned up louder than you thought it was. This is common when what you are discussing is something that you have strong feelings about.

If you have any hearing loss, you also may be speaking louder than you realize. That louder volume is viewed as speaking angrily.

Muscle tension is another sign of anger. You may show tension in your face, your neck, or your fists. Those who are around you often know what signs to look for.

You may assume that just because you can keep a poker face, that you are not angry. You are making a mistake, assuming that the lack of tension in your face or neck means that you are not angry.

Rather than deny the anger, it is more helpful to learn the signals that you are getting angry. When you sense that your anger is increasing, then you can take action. Waiting until your anger levels are high often reduces the options open to you.

You may be one of those people who do not show any outward signs of anger. Just because there is no sign of your anger, does not mean that it is not there. You may have internalized your anger.

Internalized anger often shows up as your heart racing, your breathing quickening, increased stomach acidity, loose bowels or nausea. If you experience such symptoms on a regular basis, you may be internalizing your anger.

Your mind also knows whether you're angry. When thoughts come into your head focused on hurting others, seeking revenge or knocking sense into someone, there's a good likelihood that you are experiencing anger.

There are many health problems associated with anger. These symptoms have a wide range.

They include rapid breathing, increased blood pressure and rapid heart. When symptoms like these continue for long periods, it strains your health and leads to problems.

Some symptoms are not as noticeable such as slowed digestion, changes in blood sugar level and chemical imbalances forming in your body. When the hormone cortisol is released, it starts impacting every major organ system.

There are also signals like muscle tensions. Where the muscle tension occurs varies with the population, yet some common locations where anger shows up are the neck, shoulders, forehead, hands and arms.

When the muscle tension continues over prolonged periods, it can become painful and they start aching.