My Wife's Perfect Weight Loss Diet: Revised Because You Eat Small Servings of Starch and Protein
"Write a Hub on Weight Loss"
Four in the a.m. and the two of us know that I need to speed up in order to make it to the airport on time. But I am just so sleepy from all that time on hub pages forum all week, plus that late church board meeting last night, plus everything else that goes with saying good bye to the queen who is going on a week long business trip. By the time we cleared Clarendon Park we had covered last minute reminders. Sooner or later the conversation comes around to my latest craze, hub pages.
“I’m hardly getting the kind of traffic I want on my hubs. And even with the traffic the click rate is so low.
"Write a hub," says her majesty, "on weight loss."
She Lost 46 Pounds!
"Weight loss?" I groan at a loss.
"Yes!"
"But I'm no expert on weight loss."
"Don't worry. Just tell them about my diet."
"Which diet? Are you sticking to a diet?"
"How can you forget so quickly? Remember when I lost 46 pounds on my diet."
"Here we go again."
"Don't you remember how I was big, and by the time we visited Cuba I had lost 46 pounds."
In the distance I can make out the shapes of mountain ranges in the awakening pre-dawn on Highway 2000. I need this conversation to keep me awake. I somehow fail to remember the dramatic weight loss. I recall that she had lost and gained weight (and was at a losing just a little weight phase just about now) over the 25 years of our marriage, but 46 pounds sounds a bit much.
"Alright, I'm listening."
A Candy for Energy! Banana Is Healthier!
Sure enough she reminds me of the sacrifice, the discipline, and the results. Sweet memories flood my thoughts of how incredibly sexy a woman becomes with a little less weight. Yes, there was a time of rapid, healthy, weight loss. The nights became more passionate, I remember. Here I was, driving along with her and forgetting all about it. Not fair! Not fair at all!
Wife's diet was unconventionally simple:
Eat as little starch as you can.
Cut out all sugar.
Eat vegetables only.
Eat moderate servings of protein.
Drink 10 glasses of water per day.
If you feel weak eat a candy for energy but eat no starch between meals. (I,m thinking that a banana would be healthier but who wants to argue ...).
This is not a medical recommendation and we make no claim for results. By reading this you also waive all claims against the writer and hub pages for any perceived damage to you or your bathroom, y’know, flushing all that weight away. And don't blame us for the increase in water bill, all ten glasses worth.
