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Open Hands

Updated on January 4, 2013
- Letting Go -
- Letting Go - | Source

Time will heal it...

Peace & Power
Peace & Power | Source

I am more complete than I could ever have wished to be. Lessons learned. Beautiful scars displayed on me. I'm allowing myself to be seen. What helped me get there was simply opening my hands. It was the key. The instructions lay before me visually. I wanted to stay with my fists tightly closed and my jaw tightly clenched but it was hard. It drained all of my energy. It would become my only focus and cause me to miss the world around me so instead I took the time to be still. I only thought of breathing. I let the sadness, confusion, and rage roll over me like a tidal wave. I felt everything. I did not brace for shock. I opened my hands. Later, much later, I was able to open my mind and let all the thoughts pour out of me. I released them all, the solid and the fleeting. It was exhausting. It left me unable to move at times. I was able to be seen with pristine clarity, humbling and frightening, open to judgement, but in time the thoughts no longer swarmed my mind. They no longer created the creatures that tormented in the night. I was slowly being freed. Then the fear was cured. Finally, I opened my heart and brought it back out. I didn't stop existing. It never stopped beating, it never stopped glowing. It is too strong to die. I let go and learned. In letting you go I was transformed and so were you. You were no longer a love that I lost. Death/loss no longer over shadowed your beautiful tale. You moved from the limiting thoughts in my mind back into my heart and sealed all the wounds, mended all the scars. 500 days and the number destined to grow endlessly. The sadness is gone, replaced by so many other things. I can see clearly. I see my purpose. I can feel the loves of my life stirring within me. All the stories, short and long. As if I didn't have enough to be grateful for, you've given me more amazing gifts. You locked in my self awareness and peace. Everything for a reason. I truly believe. Life experiences = Life. Such a simple equation. Love is endless, boundless, limitless, and something easily paid forward on so many levels. Loving my past or loving my future does not take your place. You exist endlessly within me. Beautiful. It is power. It can heal... me and others.

I will always remember.

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    • Moms-Secret profile image
      Author

      Lissette 4 years ago from Central Florida

      I hope that you never have to but it is inevitable so if you ever do, I hope that my documented journey helps in some way.

    • PHILLYDREAMER profile image

      Jose Velasquez 4 years ago from Lodi, New Jersey

      You must have lost someone great to be lost in such a dark place. Never having experienced such a loss myself, I hope I can handle it as well as you did. I doubt it, but I hope.

      On a completely different note. I left you a message on your Facebook fan page. I wanted to know if you got it?

    • Moms-Secret profile image
      Author

      Lissette 4 years ago from Central Florida

      Nice to meet you Irell. I am happy to hear that you enjoyed it. While I do not harm anyone, I love taking captives!

    • Irell VL profile image

      Irell VL 4 years ago

      Written so well! Reading it, I was captivated by each sentence. Great work.

    • Moms-Secret profile image
      Author

      Lissette 4 years ago from Central Florida

      Vicky! So nice to see you. I am so happy to hear that your heart was touched. I was hoping that the piece would be helpful tho I wasn't sure if it would be. Hope is a favorite of mine.

    • Moms-Secret profile image
      Author

      Lissette 4 years ago from Central Florida

      LaThing, nice to see you again. Its a hard lesson but oh the rewards! Thanks for reading and commenting. Missed seeing you.

    • Moms-Secret profile image
      Author

      Lissette 4 years ago from Central Florida

      Hi Debbie! Sadness gone. I am not sure it ever does. It just isn't ugly or debilitating anymore. Blessings to you too. Thanks for reading so much of me.

    • Moms-Secret profile image
      Author

      Lissette 4 years ago from Central Florida

      Mhatter... no we lose a lot but we don't lose it all... silver liner...

    • Victoria Lynn profile image

      Victoria Lynn 4 years ago from Arkansas, USA

      Oh, my goodness, this is so powerful and really touches my heart. You write beautifully about what you have experienced. I think it helps others to know that there is hope to feel happy again, to move on, but to never forget that great love. This is wonderful!

    • LaThing profile image

      LaThing 4 years ago from From a World Within, USA

      Beautifully written, taking back your ever so precious Life...... It has a purpose! Wonderful words, Moms-secret..... And I know what you mean by 'Open Hands'! Voting up and awesome.....

    • Deborah Brooks profile image

      Deborah Brooks Langford 4 years ago from Brownsville,TX

      i am so glad your sadness is gone.. and the beauty has returned.. many blessings to you

      voted up and sharing this beauty

      Debbie

    • Mhatter99 profile image

      Martin Kloess 4 years ago from San Francisco

      Thank you for sharing your insight. My wife died but not all those feelings... those moments...

    • Moms-Secret profile image
      Author

      Lissette 4 years ago from Central Florida

      Thank you so much Xstatic. Its an awesome feeling to be given these compliments when you are showing your true self.

    • Moms-Secret profile image
      Author

      Lissette 4 years ago from Central Florida

      Awe thank you Writinglover. I am happy to know you enjoy my emotion.

    • Moms-Secret profile image
      Author

      Lissette 4 years ago from Central Florida

      Frank! I've missed you. I am glad that you enjoyed it.

    • xstatic profile image

      Jim Higgins 4 years ago from Eugene, Oregon

      This is outstanding! I will have to read the previous Open Hands. Up+

    • writinglover profile image

      Jennifer 4 years ago from Lost...In Video Games

      I think this was your best piece. You put so much emotion into this hub that its outstanding!

    • Frank Atanacio profile image

      Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton

      Loving my past or loving my future does not take your place. You exist endlessly within me. Beautiful. It is power. It can heal... me and others. This was just the perfect ending to Open Hands Moms...