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Powerful Meditative Practices After Cancer

Updated on January 10, 2013
Mairela Retreat from across the lake
Mairela Retreat from across the lake | Source

We are all powerful beings of light whether we recognise it or not. Some of us are sitting amidst the greatest gift ever created with no idea of its existence and would even fight tooth and nail to deny its very existence. When I remember I am a powerful being of light I remember that nothing can affect me. So how could I possibly be this powerful and yet be subject to a virus or food poisoning etc?

There is one thing as equally powerful as me in my light being aspect and that is of course me, or rather my mind. When my mind creates the world I see before me it does not truly recognise all of Who I Really Am and instead creates from the physical levels it knows, understands and believes it controls. The light power aspect behind these thoughts is still there assisting that creation but as all things are equal and perfect when viewed as the whole there is nothing or nobody stepping in to tell the mind of its illusions. Our light being aspect helping us to create this reality recognises all things without judgement or bias because it has no requirements. Our light being aspect can and does exist in perfect harmony at the highest level and therefore has no need to step in and "rescue" us from illusionary or perceived pain and suffering.

Brimstone Butterfly
Brimstone Butterfly | Source

When I have a virus affecting my physical, emotional and mental forms this is a perfect fit for the world I have created within the illusionary confines of my physical existence (my conscious awareness at a mind/body level).

The aspect of me creating this physical world is a child of the universe naturally playing with experiences and getting very mucky with it. If I spend all my life living as this immature child with no other presence I begin to become the child (I begin to have no conscious awareness elsewhere) and suddenly this playground of mucky games becomes my reality. If I forget the place of light from whence I was born beyond the perceived boundaries of this physical world then my physical world suddenly becomes very real and absolute with solid boundaries, it becomes my reality and the playing stops. Suddenly it's not so funny anymore. This is not a nice place to feel stuck in.

One moment I was a child experiencing an experiential playground whilst feeling safe and secure with my higher self observing and holding me in a loving space, the next I dropped into a purely physical reality and lost my connection. Suddenly it all became real and solid and I could only vaguely remember the warm, nurturing, safe, loving holding of acceptance. Panic set in and I began to scrabble round to find the place where that safe, loving, warm acceptance lay.

Instead of recognising it to be already there and merely sitting quietly until I tuned into it again, I panicked and began to try and reconstruct it backwards. I recognised and evaluated the looks of happiness and peace in other people's face and attitudes and energy fields (although I was not consciously aware I was reading them) and I began trying to emulate and reconstruct the situations which created those attitudes in others. When I felt and experienced anger, hatred, grief and sadness I took note of the circumstances surrounding these experiences and made controls and defences to ensure these types of experiences were never allowed to arise again.

Follow Your Truth Rainbow
Follow Your Truth Rainbow | Source

Over the years I met many folk who were also actively trying to recreate this safe, nurturing, warm and loving world. Sometimes that made me feel so much better that others recognise what we had to do and were joining in with the effort. Then sometimes I'd get even more stressed because some of them didn't realise they were not doing the "right" things to re-enact peace and harmony. Sometimes the whole effort of trying to carry the world and bring peace and love to Earth seemed all too much for one little girl and she wanted to leave the planet. Those were dark times indeed.

This was the old energy. After so many traumatic years of frustrated and unsuccessful reconstruction I made myself so ill and stressed from all the effort of rebuilding peace, love, warmth and acceptance that I collapsed dis-eased. I had stage 3 ovarian cancer and a very bleak outlook.

But when I no longer had the strength to continue trying to re-create utopia I had to let go of some of my walls of defence and miraculously began to espy angels through the cracks. Literally when I began to crack I could see through to the other side and it was marvellous!

Thus began the work of understanding my walled defences so that I might begin to take them down without inducing any more fear.

These days I observe my child playing in her new lighter and expanded pen. Yes it is still a pen, the walls have been reconstructed at a more expanded level to create a vaster pen and one day even those walls may feel too restrictive but for now I continue to feel safe in my explorations.

Sometimes when my inner child, little Sara feels very afraid I wrap her up in a lovely warm blanket so that she feels secure, warm, held, loved and accepted but I don't keep her wrapped in the blanket all the time, I don't try to avoid feeling those feelings of fear.

Wrapping up in a secure blanket is a neutral matter, neither a negative destructive action nor a positive one in itself. The meaning of what we create stems from our intention. Do I intend to explore/grow/expand further when I am ready with no self aspect getting left behind feeling afraid rejected and abandoned? Or am I so afraid of some unknown monster that I reject and hide based on my limited experiences of a world of fear and isolation?

It is the answer to these questions which will create my new emerging reality. Do I feel safe and connected or do I feel isolated and afraid?

It's not possible to be connected to the Mother or Father aspect wrapping up our frightened inner child if we do not reside outside of the playpen as well as within the playpen because if we are fully within the playpen experience we are just the child, alone and abandoned feeling rejected and fearful.

Everything turning up in my world is there because I created it. If I created it then I did it for a reason. If what turns up in my world is very painful and doesn't appear to be what I wanted to create then I'm not in tune with or connected to my own deepest thoughts, beliefs and fears. So how do I begin to recognise these thoughts, beliefs and fears? I observe them. I observe them without judgement, that is I casually notice them with no requirement to change them.

But how do I observe them when I am living them? I find an observation point. This is a place where I can see for a long way, taking in a vast landscape in one wide view, usually situated in a higher place. I find my higher self (point) and begin the observation.

It's not so difficult as it might sound. We all have days when perhaps we are a bit snappy and there is a part of us which thinks to itself "I'm a bit snappy today, I wonder why?" or sometimes we feel sad for no apparent reason but we notice the feeling and the lack of apparent reason. These are examples of our observer self. The observer self is a perfectly normal aspect which can easily be developed by using it more, just like any other muscle in the body, the more we use it the stronger it gets.

Scarce Copper Butterfly on Oregano
Scarce Copper Butterfly on Oregano | Source

The other advantage of this observation point is that the old drama stuff which previously took 100% of our focus and appeared to create our entire world is now viewed from a higher perspective and no longer takes up 100% of our outlook and in fact can actually appear as a fairly insignificant dot on the horizon of the bigger picture, especially as we continue to expand.

We find our own unique higher place in stillness, peace and serenity. We can't get to the higher place in the midst of turmoil if we haven't ever practiced being there outside of drama therefore regular meditative practice is extremely beneficial, but doesn't need to be the old fashioned view of meditation wherein you chant "ohm" or contemplate your navel (although you could do).

Meditative practice is quiet time spent alone with yourself to observe yourself impartially and unconditionally thereby allowing a fuller/bigger picture to emerge.

When a bigger picture emerges everything begins to make effortless sense and "trying" becomes a thing of the past taking with it stress, attachment, suffering and pain.

How does "trying" become a thing of the past? Because instead of "trying" to get from here to there, or from this state to that state I merely expand and occupy all. when I occupy all of me there is no longer a here and there.

Reading this and nodding sagely to ourselves doesn't increase awareness or create effortless living. The first step is the mental acceptance of an idea which resonates and makes sense to us but it is useless until we begin to live this new truth. We can all talk our talk but it means nothing until we walk our walk.

I've just passed my 13th anniversary after being given a 17% chance of surviving 5 years so I like to think I'm walking my walk.

We wouldn't walk out the door each day without spending some time in putting on clothes? Why? Because it keeps us warm, saves us from ridicule and can be an outward expression of our Essence (to name but a few reasons). Why not think of spending some time each morning in some kind of meditative exercise, after all it keeps us warm, saves us from ridicule and can be an outward expression of our Essence.

Meditation is any time spent in expansion, noticing more of what is in and around you without need to analyse or change it. Examples include writing, walking, prayer as well as the usual forms of meditation.

Incorporate spending time alone with yourself into your life. Use time alone to recognise yourself and learn to understand yourself with compassion. Then see what happens. The world will change. Money back guarantee if it doesn't!

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