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Practical Ways to Deal with Frustrations

Updated on July 20, 2015
CrisSp profile image

CrisSp is your Emergency Specialist at 37 thousand feet. A writer without a niche. Surely, wonderwoman consumed by wanderlust!

I was frustrated, so I cleaned the chandelier!
I was frustrated, so I cleaned the chandelier! | Source

I am so frustrated! Some people just don’t learn or not even willing to learn some lessons in life. The problem is, they don’t know how or don’t even care on what effect their stupidity would cause other people. But, why do I have to be in the mercy of other people or of something else?

"Have patience with all things, but chiefly have patience with yourself." —Saint Francis De Sales

I am actually bursting in anger as I write this and I feel like I just want to hang myself on the chandelier above my head at this very moment and end it. But, there are some cobwebs on the chandelier and I’m scared of spiders! So, I ended up cleaning the chandeliers until I forgot about my frustrations.

Besides, that would be very selfish of me to harm myself because of my frustrations caused by other people and these people probably wouldn’t even care.

Let’s admit it. We’ve all been in a situation where we get really frustrated. We vent it out loud but how do we really tackle our frustrations? How do we calm ourselves? Usually, when we get upset, disappointed or frustrated or even hurt, we tend to talk and open up about it with others. Now a day, people are shouting out on Facebook about it just so we can get it off our chest. Correct? That is absolutely fine but does it really relieve our feelings?

Venting feels good. Sometimes it helps. However, at times, it may not be very satisfying specially if the person, we’re venting it out cannot really help us emotionally and instead make us feel even worse after speaking with them.

“Frustration: (noun) - the feeling of being upset or annoyed, especially because of inability to change or achieve something.” ~

Lifehacks
Lifehacks | Source

What causes frustrations?

So, we all know what frustration is but what causes frustrations or where do they come from? There’s only two: Internal and External.

1. Internal source or cause comes from us. It is our inability to reach a goal or act according to what we wish for or achieve. This is controllable since it involves an individual’s level of determination.

For example, you wanted to lose weight in three months time just before your wedding day and despite the hard work and religious dieting, you still haven’t reached your target weight. Frustrating, isn’t it? This is internal factor since it involves YOU and your own level of determination and control.

2. External source or cause comes from our surrounding environment. This can come from a situation where we have no control over at all but can be avoided. Common examples: work place environment and social environment.

This is me driving and singing (Why Me Lord?) to beat my frustration while stuck in the traffic. ~

Truth is, a state of frustrations can harm our health. If we keep it to ourselves, we’ll eventually blow up out of the blue and our body chemistry will react in a harmful way. Psychological and physiological illness follows. It is kin to anger and disappointment and other effects can include depression and development of some destructive habits. Frustrations can either kill us or make us stronger.

"Frustration, although quite painful at times, is a very positive and essential part of success. " - Bo Bennett

So, don't give up!

...in dealing with frustrations!
...in dealing with frustrations! | Source

How do we avoid getting frustrated?

But, how do we avoid getting frustrated? Is there a way to express our frustrations (and anger) in a more appropriate way? Of course and this is how I do it.

1. Recognize the problem

First, find out what the problem is and the catacomb of frustration. Mine, for example is that my expectations are high and so I tend to get frustrated when these are not met. But hey, I also understand that people are different. So, yes, I get frustrated but I also have learned to recognize and accept the problem and then find a solution to the problem. Since my problem is about my “high expectations”, I’d try not to expect much from people. That way, I wouldn’t get frustrated or my frustrations will be less when things don’t go smoothly.

2. Focus on the solution not the problem

So, the problem is there. What are we going to do now? I always tell this to my family and friends who would come to me with their problems. Focus on the solution or in finding out a solution not on the problem. We all know, the problem already exist.

3. React Rationally

Well, we can whip it out if we wish but that won’t really help. Learn to calm down and relax. Think! Is it really worth it for us to lash it out and let our whole body be consumed negatively because of something that is beyond our control? Frustration is an emotion. We feel frustrated because we cannot get what we want in life. However, we have to understand that life does not only revolve around us. There is the “YOU + ME= US” factor. Meaning, there are people around us whose thinking and way of life we cannot control and completely different from ours. So, to try to react rationally is probably our best bet to beat frustrations!

Frustrations...deal with it!
Frustrations...deal with it! | Source
Frustrated? Eat Ice Cream! Just don't finish the whole pint! :)
Frustrated? Eat Ice Cream! Just don't finish the whole pint! :) | Source

Some alternative ways:

I know what you’re thinking. Easier said than done, right? So, here’s your alternative.

  1. BE PRACTICAL - make something out of your frustration because truly, this time of frustration will pass. For example, as I said earlier, in my frustration (and desperation), I feel like I just want to hang myself on the chandelier but when I look up the chandelier, it was dusty and with cobwebs. So, what did I do? I turned my frustration into something productive. I actually cleaned the chandelier and yes you bet, I forgot about my frustration. Now with a clean chandelier, my head is as well cleared off my frustration. I feel better!
  2. DIVERT YOUR THINKING – move it away from what frustrates you. Scream and squirm if you wish and then put your energy into something else like sing a song, walk away or run and burn that frustration away, water the plants, clean the house, read a poem, doodle and paint, etc. In short, distract yourself with productive activities or engage into something enjoyable. Get creative. There are plenty of options to choose upon. You see, this writing came out of my frustration. It helped me get my frustration away from my head and hopefully, you benefit from this writing as well.
  3. SLEEP – When everything else fails, sleep. Rest and re-charge your energy. This is my favourite alternative. Clinical tests have proven that lack of sleep causes frustration. So, do not discount the power and importance of sleep. Also, do not forget to pray before you sleep.

Sleep

Frustrated? Sleep...PJ's not necessary. ZZzzz...
Frustrated? Sleep...PJ's not necessary. ZZzzz... | Source

REMEMBER:

Frustrations will teach you the art of letting go. Be patient.

Quick Poll:

When you get frustrated, do you often feel unworthy or like giving up?

See results

Frustration comes when we cannot accept things the way we want it. It comes out when we expect the world and the people to act and react the way we wish. Frustration can be overwhelming and can beat us down, especially if we have the habit of sulking in days in despair, which could eventually tear us and break us.

Frustration is inevitable but don’t give up. We cannot get frustration away from our lives but we can certainly avoid it. Either we embrace and accept the situation or just as I would usually tell people (specially the imperfectly dear ones)…leave me alone (at least for now), then I’d close my eyes and breathe. ~

“Forget perfect on the first try. In the face of frustration, your best tool is a few deep breaths, and remembering that you can do anything once you've practiced two hundred times. Seriously.” - Andrea Buchanan

Your views...

Do you often get frustrated? What frustrates you the most? How do you deal with frustrations? Let us know and share your views in the comment box below.

Peace~

Copyright@ CrisSp~TM / 06-2015. Read me: "The heart of my soul speaks to the soul of my heart by writing." ~

© 2015 CrisSp

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    • CrisSp profile image
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      CrisSp 2 years ago from Sky Is The Limit Adventure

      brakel2: Thank you for gracing this page Audrey and I very much appreciate your engaging comments. It's hard when we have high expectations. I keep on reminding myself that. I try to keep it low but it's not easy to settle for less as well. Blessings back at you. *smile*

    • brakel2 profile image

      Audrey Selig 2 years ago from Oklahoma City, Oklahoma

      Frustrations are a fact of life, and I heard or read the usual number is fourteen per day. Your hub has lots of suggestions to help, and the best one for me is breathing. I am like some others in that I might have higher expectations than can actually occur. If you have daily obstacles that you must face, over and above the unexpected, it may be more difficult. However, as you say, we must concentrate on solutions and not the issues themselves. Thanks for sharing your expertise. Sharing Blessings, Audrey

    • CrisSp profile image
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      CrisSp 2 years ago from Sky Is The Limit Adventure

      Charito1962: Prayer indeed! Nothing beats that as I mentioned in this hub as well and it is very effective. Thank you for stopping by here and for leaving such an engaging comment. I'll see you around HP! Cheers!

    • Charito1962 profile image

      Charito Maranan-Montecillo 2 years ago from Manila, Philippines

      This is such an uplifting hub, CrisSp! Yes, we do have a lot of frustrations in life. You are right. The way to fight them is to focus on the solution and react rationally. But here's another thing I've learned to do - PRAY. For me, prayer is the solution to all problems. It gives me peace and serenity even in the midst of difficulties or trials.

    • CrisSp profile image
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      CrisSp 2 years ago from Sky Is The Limit Adventure

      FlourishAnyway: Dang, straight! And, yes I agree with you...on sleeping and laughing it off! Thank you. Good to see you here.

      Cheers!

    • CrisSp profile image
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      CrisSp 2 years ago from Sky Is The Limit Adventure

      ahorseback: Thank you but I'm not good in public speaking. I'd rather write. :) On the second thought....maybe I should try and develop it. Geez, it takes a good man riding a horse from miles away to tap me there. Take care my friend.

      Love from the sky~

    • FlourishAnyway profile image

      FlourishAnyway 2 years ago from USA

      Sleeping or finding something to laugh about is what I prefer to do. You can't always control your environment but you can control your response.

    • ahorseback profile image

      ahorseback 2 years ago

      You know , You should probably be a life coach of some kind girl ! It all helps ! I tend to internalize all my frustrations , but hey I always have . Great hub and sound advice , all of it !

    • CrisSp profile image
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      CrisSp 2 years ago from Sky Is The Limit Adventure

      Hello Frank! You're welcome and thank you for stopping by. Appreciate your comments.

      I hope you're having a great weekend!

    • Frank Atanacio profile image

      Frank Atanacio 2 years ago from Shelton

      CriSp thank you for sharing these practical ways to deal with frustrations.. I find a few deep breaths do help bless you

    • CrisSp profile image
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      CrisSp 2 years ago from Sky Is The Limit Adventure

      aviannovice: Thank you for your feedback Deb. As I said in this hub...there are ways to avoid frustrations and the culprit itself. You're smart and I'm glad you're in a much comfortable zone (with the lovely creatures of the sky, I assume) now.

      Say hello to our beautiful friends in the sky!

    • CrisSp profile image
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      CrisSp 2 years ago from Sky Is The Limit Adventure

      RobinGrosswirth23: Thank you. I hope you don't get frustrated in life and if it happens, just clean the chandelier and let is shine!

      Cheers!

    • CrisSp profile image
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      CrisSp 2 years ago from Sky Is The Limit Adventure

      Sparklea: Hello! I haven't seen you for quite some time here on HP and so, thank you for gracing my page. Ahh, not finding something...that happens to me quite a lot too. Must be a sign of old age for me. (pardon me):) Thank you for the votes and most specially for leaving such a wonderful and very engaging comments. Love it!

      Love and Twinkle from the sky. ~

    • aviannovice profile image

      Deb Hirt 2 years ago from Stillwater, OK

      I tend to thank my lucky stars that I don't have to see the person in question longer than I have to do so. Like I tell frustrated friends, "Be thankful that you don't have to go home to those people." Right?(grin)

    • CrisSp profile image
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      CrisSp 2 years ago from Sky Is The Limit Adventure

      Ericdierker: Thank you. Yes, indeed acceptance is the key yet frustrating that we cannot accept it.

    • CrisSp profile image
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      CrisSp 2 years ago from Sky Is The Limit Adventure

      tirelesstraveler: Thank you.

    • RobinGrosswirth23 profile image

      Robin Grosswirth 2 years ago from New York

      Great advice for a challenging topic and life skill.

    • CrisSp profile image
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      CrisSp 2 years ago from Sky Is The Limit Adventure

      midget38: That's right Michelle! The best that we can do! Good to see you here.

    • CrisSp profile image
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      CrisSp 2 years ago from Sky Is The Limit Adventure

      justthemessenger: Writing (and reading) works best for me too. Sometimes, I'd doodle even though it doesn't have any direction. :) Thanks for stopping by. Happy to read your comments.

    • CrisSp profile image
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      CrisSp 2 years ago from Sky Is The Limit Adventure

      Colin323: You honour me with your visit here and thank you for your most engaging comment. I'd probably do the same in your case...give it to the masters. They know better! Cheers!

    • Sparklea profile image

      Sparklea 2 years ago from Upstate New York

      CrisSp: LOVE, LOVE, LOVE that you cleaned your chandelier! Sparkle is SOOO therapeutic. Thank you for your thoughts and great advice regarding frustration! My biggest frustration, I believe, is when I cannot FIND something! I think my pens have feet, one is on a table, then disappears! Into OBLIVION. I misplace things all the time and I get SOOO frustrated...Joel Osteen, an evangelist, said that people spend at least eight years of their lives LOOKING for stuff. Not sure it that is true, but with me, it probably is! I agree with Faith Reaper about sleep, and prayer helps me a lot too. Voted up, useful and interesting. Blessings always and another THANK YOU. Sparklea

    • Ericdierker profile image

      Eric Dierker 2 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Isn't it a shame that something so frustrating as frustration is so normal. Definitely a daily thing and too often a hourly thing. This is a great hub on ways to deal with it. Acceptance is the answer to all my problems.

    • tirelesstraveler profile image

      Judy Specht 2 years ago from California

      Solid ideas for relieving frustration. Nice work.

    • manatita44 profile image

      manatita44 2 years ago from london

      No CrisSp, you are special! Never forget that you are a golden dream of His. Day and night The Mother's Love surround and enter you, like radiant lamps. Feel Her sweet swing, like Pletsetskaya's feet to a moving Canto, and be free.

      Hey he. Just made that up. Have a great day!

    • CrisSp profile image
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      CrisSp 2 years ago from Sky Is The Limit Adventure

      BlossomSB: Thank you . I like your comment because truly not many is into those houseworks. Unfortunately, we all have to do it and those cobwebs...what do I say? I have to destroy them...poor thing!

    • CrisSp profile image
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      CrisSp 2 years ago from Sky Is The Limit Adventure

      manatita44: Simon Cowell you said? Ha...ha...ha...you're too funny!

      Yes, the chandelier is now clean and polish! Frustrations? They come and go and I just need to remind myself from time to time, that it will pass and then shrug it off my shoulder. I'm glad you find the article useful. It was also quite a relief to simply divert my attention to writing instead of thinking about my frustrations. Thus, it personally helped plus of course, sleep. As I said. it's one of my favourite alternatives.

      Thank you for reading and commenting and most specially for the hub you've dedicated to me. That's really great and very nice of you. I feel special!

    • CrisSp profile image
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      CrisSp 2 years ago from Sky Is The Limit Adventure

      billybuc: Hi Bill! Thank you. Summer is great! Was actually on vacation the whole month of May. Plane hopping to the Philippines, U.A.E. and Ireland. Life is good despite some glitches! :)

      Love from the sky~

    • CrisSp profile image
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      CrisSp 2 years ago from Sky Is The Limit Adventure

      bravewarrior: Good to see you here Sha! Your sister is smart to keep her expectations low regarding people. I think it's the number one cause of frustration. :)

      As always, thank you for coming by and for leaving an honest feedback.

      Love from the sky~

    • midget38 profile image

      Michelle Liew 2 years ago from Singapore

      I'd do what you do, Cristina....that is, reorganize and clean! and pray...that helps as well!

    • justthemessenger profile image

      James C Moore 2 years ago from The Great Midwest

      Sometimes, I just start writing. It doesn't matter what I write about just as long as I write. I have found writing to be a good tonic for frusration and for when I cant sleep at night. . But of course, all of us hubbers know this.

    • profile image

      Colin323 2 years ago

      I still get frustrated at my lack of practical ability to perform manual tasks: screws that will not go in properly; wood that I can't cut straight; paint that drips everywhere. I'm not sure if it is a self-fulfilling prophesy (I think I'm cack-handed, so I am), or whether I'm just not hot-wired physically to do these tasks. Whatever ... I'm resolved now to pay or barter with others with the skills to do the job instead of me, as the job gets done quicker, better, and I'm helping the economy! So I guess I've 'recognised the problem', as you say, in your interesting and well-written article.

    • BlossomSB profile image

      Bronwen Scott-Branagan 2 years ago from Victoria, Australia

      Hmmm! Those cobwebs! They're enough to make me frustrated as I hate housework and would so much rather be doing something else. Love your hub and you have some good ideas, too. God bless!

    • CrisSp profile image
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      CrisSp 2 years ago from Sky Is The Limit Adventure

      Genna: Thank you for coming by. Ha..ha...the cobwebs! They saved me and I am grateful. :)

    • CrisSp profile image
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      CrisSp 2 years ago from Sky Is The Limit Adventure

      whonunuwho: Thank you . Blessings back at you. ~

    • CrisSp profile image
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      CrisSp 2 years ago from Sky Is The Limit Adventure

      Faith: What can we do...such is life! I like your take on it and your belief that only God can change the hearts of others. That's why I believed in the power of prayers. May you be surrounded by pure joy and love everyday.

      Thank you for always coming by and for lifting this withering soul with your kind words

      Love and twinkle from the sky~

    • CrisSp profile image
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      CrisSp 2 years ago from Sky Is The Limit Adventure

      Jodah: It's always good to see you and no, I'm not the one to give up (yet) but I have to vent it out somehow. Thank you for reading and for your thoughtful message.

      P.S. I feel for your wife and I very much understand her. :)

      Love from the sky~

    • manatita44 profile image

      manatita44 2 years ago from london

      Don't do it, CrisSp, just clean the chandelier. (sweet chuckle)

      Very useful article and Hub and some great quotes. I like the being practical and sleep part. Sleep helps us all. Hey, great singer. I have just been on the phone to Simon Cowell, he has noted your name for audition. He he..

      Here is the cute part, I have done something for you. It was not planned this way, but it might just help with the frustration, yeh? Check it out: https://hubpages.com/literature/Ode-to-The-Red-Ros...

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      All useful suggestions, Cris. I've learned over the years to deal with frustrations but my goodness, it did take a long time to learn. :)

      I hope you're having a superb summer so far. Blessings and hugs from Oly

      bill

    • bravewarrior profile image

      Shauna L Bowling 2 years ago from Central Florida

      My sister has a philosophy: Keep your expectations low regarding people. That way you're never disappointed but often surprised.

      I can't think off the top of my head how I deal with frustration. I react differently depending on the cause.

      You offer good advice. Once you know the source of your frustration, you're better able to deal with it.

    • Genna East profile image

      Genna East 2 years ago from Massachusetts, USA

      Sage words of wisdom. I have to confess that overcoming especially frustrating moments is still a challenge for me. I agree with John and Faith...I'm very glad your chandelier had cobwebs!

    • whonunuwho profile image

      whonunuwho 2 years ago from United States

      Nice message my friend and blessings. whonu

    • Faith Reaper profile image

      Faith Reaper 2 years ago from southern USA

      Dear Cris,

      Sounds like I had the same frustrating week as you did ...and I have not had one like it in a good long while, so I guess I was overdue. It has taken me a long time in this life to learn (the hard way) to never place another person on a pedestal for they will no doubt disappoint me, of course, for they are human, just as I am. And I sure would not like to be placed on one myself for I know I would disappoint too. Anyway, once I realized many years ago that I cannot change anyone and only God can change the hearts of others, I felt much peace, but I do know when I need to put up boundaries. Although it is difficult at times, I know I am to love others, even those who are difficult to love, as our sweet Lord loves them.

      Praying and getting enough sleep are truly the best for me too. It has taken a long time but now, once I pray and truly cast my cares to the Lord, I feel at complete peace and can sleep like a baby. I love listening to music and reading, which also help with any frustrations. Oh, the best of the best is when my grands come for a visit, then all cares melt away and I am surrounded by pure joy and love.

      I am glad your chandelier had cobwebs too! : )

      Peace, hugs and much love always

    • Jodah profile image

      John Hansen 2 years ago from Queensland Australia

      There is great advice here Cris. We all get frustrated at times. My wife gets frustrated because people often don't act the way she expects. I have learnt not to put too high an expectation on anyone then you aren't let down so badly when they fail to live up to it. So glad your chandelier was covered in cobwebs. Would have hated you to have hung yourself in frustration :) voted up.