Practical Ways to Deal with Frustrations
I am so frustrated! Some people just don’t learn or not even willing to learn some lessons in life. The problem is, they don’t know how or don’t even care on what effect their stupidity would cause other people. But, why do I have to be in the mercy of other people or of something else?
"Have patience with all things, but chiefly have patience with yourself." —Saint Francis De Sales
I am actually bursting in anger as I write this and I feel like I just want to hang myself on the chandelier above my head at this very moment and end it. But, there are some cobwebs on the chandelier and I’m scared of spiders! So, I ended up cleaning the chandeliers until I forgot about my frustrations.
Besides, that would be very selfish of me to harm myself because of my frustrations caused by other people and these people probably wouldn’t even care.
Let’s admit it. We’ve all been in a situation where we get really frustrated. We vent it out loud but how do we really tackle our frustrations? How do we calm ourselves? Usually, when we get upset, disappointed or frustrated or even hurt, we tend to talk and open up about it with others. Now a day, people are shouting out on Facebook about it just so we can get it off our chest. Correct? That is absolutely fine but does it really relieve our feelings?
Venting feels good. Sometimes it helps. However, at times, it may not be very satisfying specially if the person, we’re venting it out cannot really help us emotionally and instead make us feel even worse after speaking with them.
“Frustration: (noun) - the feeling of being upset or annoyed, especially because of inability to change or achieve something.” ~
What causes frustrations?
So, we all know what frustration is but what causes frustrations or where do they come from? There’s only two: Internal and External.
1. Internal source or cause comes from us. It is our inability to reach a goal or act according to what we wish for or achieve. This is controllable since it involves an individual’s level of determination.
For example, you wanted to lose weight in three months time just before your wedding day and despite the hard work and religious dieting, you still haven’t reached your target weight. Frustrating, isn’t it? This is internal factor since it involves YOU and your own level of determination and control.
2. External source or cause comes from our surrounding environment. This can come from a situation where we have no control over at all but can be avoided. Common examples: work place environment and social environment.
This is me driving and singing (Why Me Lord?) to beat my frustration while stuck in the traffic. ~
Truth is, a state of frustrations can harm our health. If we keep it to ourselves, we’ll eventually blow up out of the blue and our body chemistry will react in a harmful way. Psychological and physiological illness follows. It is kin to anger and disappointment and other effects can include depression and development of some destructive habits. Frustrations can either kill us or make us stronger.
"Frustration, although quite painful at times, is a very positive and essential part of success. " - Bo Bennett
So, don't give up!
How do we avoid getting frustrated?
But, how do we avoid getting frustrated? Is there a way to express our frustrations (and anger) in a more appropriate way? Of course and this is how I do it.
1. Recognize the problem
First, find out what the problem is and the catacomb of frustration. Mine, for example is that my expectations are high and so I tend to get frustrated when these are not met. But hey, I also understand that people are different. So, yes, I get frustrated but I also have learned to recognize and accept the problem and then find a solution to the problem. Since my problem is about my “high expectations”, I’d try not to expect much from people. That way, I wouldn’t get frustrated or my frustrations will be less when things don’t go smoothly.
2. Focus on the solution not the problem
So, the problem is there. What are we going to do now? I always tell this to my family and friends who would come to me with their problems. Focus on the solution or in finding out a solution not on the problem. We all know, the problem already exist.
3. React Rationally
Well, we can whip it out if we wish but that won’t really help. Learn to calm down and relax. Think! Is it really worth it for us to lash it out and let our whole body be consumed negatively because of something that is beyond our control? Frustration is an emotion. We feel frustrated because we cannot get what we want in life. However, we have to understand that life does not only revolve around us. There is the “YOU + ME= US” factor. Meaning, there are people around us whose thinking and way of life we cannot control and completely different from ours. So, to try to react rationally is probably our best bet to beat frustrations!
Some alternative ways:
I know what you’re thinking. Easier said than done, right? So, here’s your alternative.
- BE PRACTICAL - make something out of your frustration because truly, this time of frustration will pass. For example, as I said earlier, in my frustration (and desperation), I feel like I just want to hang myself on the chandelier but when I look up the chandelier, it was dusty and with cobwebs. So, what did I do? I turned my frustration into something productive. I actually cleaned the chandelier and yes you bet, I forgot about my frustration. Now with a clean chandelier, my head is as well cleared off my frustration. I feel better!
- DIVERT YOUR THINKING – move it away from what frustrates you. Scream and squirm if you wish and then put your energy into something else like sing a song, walk away or run and burn that frustration away, water the plants, clean the house, read a poem, doodle and paint, etc. In short, distract yourself with productive activities or engage into something enjoyable. Get creative. There are plenty of options to choose upon. You see, this writing came out of my frustration. It helped me get my frustration away from my head and hopefully, you benefit from this writing as well.
- SLEEP – When everything else fails, sleep. Rest and re-charge your energy. This is my favourite alternative. Clinical tests have proven that lack of sleep causes frustration. So, do not discount the power and importance of sleep. Also, do not forget to pray before you sleep.
Frustrations will teach you the art of letting go. Be patient.
When you get frustrated, do you often feel unworthy or like giving up?
Frustration comes when we cannot accept things the way we want it. It comes out when we expect the world and the people to act and react the way we wish. Frustration can be overwhelming and can beat us down, especially if we have the habit of sulking in days in despair, which could eventually tear us and break us.
Frustration is inevitable but don’t give up. We cannot get frustration away from our lives but we can certainly avoid it. Either we embrace and accept the situation or just as I would usually tell people (specially the imperfectly dear ones)…leave me alone (at least for now), then I’d close my eyes and breathe. ~
“Forget perfect on the first try. In the face of frustration, your best tool is a few deep breaths, and remembering that you can do anything once you've practiced two hundred times. Seriously.” - Andrea Buchanan
Do you often get frustrated? What frustrates you the most? How do you deal with frustrations? Let us know and share your views in the comment box below.
Copyright@ CrisSp~TM / 06-2015. Read me: "The heart of my soul speaks to the soul of my heart by writing." ~
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© 2015 CrisSp