Random Musings From a Writer Who Needs to Write

I suppose all writers have those moments (or days) when they really have nothing to say but something within them still craves the experience of writing. Maybe. Maybe not.

Life has been hectic lately and there hasn’t been enough time to sit and contemplate writing something meaningful or creative. I miss writing. Even admitting that makes me feel a bit strange. Some will think I am one egg short of a dozen for writing this but I need to write and so I will.

For this writer, writing is a tool; a form of expressing myself and discovering things about life in the process. As I sit here now, I don’t know what the subject of my writing will be but I am certain that I need to write. And so I will write and I will write about whatever comes to mind. And as I do, I am certain that I will discover what it is that is urging me to write. You’re welcome to come along for the ride.

Each and every day we have an opportunity to touch someone or, to be touched by someone in a way that will change us forever. This was the day, 63 years ago. that my parents got married. We celebrated with them and spent much of the afternoon remembering stories from their youth and mine. There was a lot of laughter and love in the room and I find myself holding on to this day as if it were a fragile flower. All too soon these feelings will vanish and in their place, will be a memory.

Sometimes they fade slowly and become mere remnants of the original. For some, they become lost in a kaleidoscope of partial memories and for others, they completely disappear in a fog that cannot be penetrated with even the deepest desire. Perhaps that is why writing has become so important. It is a means of capturing memories for those dark days when they elude us.

Every now and then the challenges of life seem enormous. Worry replaces comfort and tears take the place of a smile. Thinking back on my childhood, I remember my Dad (who loved a practical joke), using humor to distract me from turmoil. When it seemed like the world was ending because someone hid or borrowed my toys, Dad would intervene with his humor and in an instant, all was right with the world again. When a love interest lost interest, Dad would find something funny in its demise to share with me. It was his signature and with age I have learned to appreciate the skill in which he applied it. Laughter has sustained us in the past and it will continue to do so in the days ahead.

There comes a time in life when the little worries seem to be just as significant as the big ones. There were times in my life when I worried about things that now seem so small. I worried about acquiring material things that would make me fit in with a certain social circle or about saving enough money to buy a new car. The weight of the world lifted when I had the little house in a decent neighborhood and a reliable car in the driveway. But now, relief has new meaning. It comes at the end of the day when I realize that all of my family is safe and warm, fed and clothed, and, knows I love them.

No challenge is too great where there is love. When answers are elusive or the shadows dark and foreboding, love will bring out the best in us and chase away the shadows to reveal the answers. Love soothes a troubled soul and calms a rapidly beating heart. Love wraps its arms around us and gently reminds us that we are never alone. Yes, love is all that matters and it will fill all the empty places within us if we open our hearts and let it in.

This moment, right now, may be our last and what we do with it is up to us. We are not guaranteed tomorrow so we must make “now” matter. We must say what needs to be said and do what needs to be done. Regret can last forever but now, this moment, is our chance to extinguish the flame of regret.

What stories will be told when your journey here is over? Will they be stories of compassion? Did you help others along the way? Will they say you were kind? Will they say you loved your family, your God, your country? Could you be counted on to fulfill a promise? The story is yours to write. Write it well.

Most of us have someone we look up to; someone who was always there for us. Stop for a moment and think about them. Do you remember the times they held your hand as you walked fearlessly through the fire? Did they listen while you talked yourself through the questions to find the answer? Maybe they showed you by example how to stand tall in the face of adversity or to reach out to those less fortunate than you. Now, it’s your turn. Will you be the hero for someone else?

And there it is, a journey through the musings of a writer who needed to write. You may be asking yourself what this was all about. I wouldn’t blame you.

There was no mission here, just a need to write. And now that it’s done, I understand the need. The emotions of the past few days are bigger than any I’ve ever faced. I could have written about the pain of watching the light in my Dad’s eyes go out from Alzheimer’s or about how much I miss the vitality of my Mom before her stroke. I didn’t want to go there. I didn’t want to write about sad things. Instead, I opened my mind to the many positive things this journey is teaching me. This is my road map now. These are the lessons of a lifetime that could easily get lost in the day-to-day.

I am a product of loving parents who knew the value of time, who taught compassion and kindness, who are and will remain my heroes. Through their love and lessons, I have become me, and now it is my mission to make them proud. And when I lose my way or forget to laugh, love, and live, I will return to this page and I will remember.

© 2013 Linda Crist, All rights reserved.