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Secret to Living with Passion Part 2: The Healing Power of Touch

Updated on February 1, 2012

The Power of Touch

Secrets to Living with Passion Part 2: Embrace the Awesome Power of Touch

I believe that part of our hardwiring as a species mandates the constant giving and receiving of touch. I see a direct correlation between the frequency of touch in our lives and to our ability to stay positive and live with passion.

A welcomed touch revives us at a physical level. We know that a simple touch can heal the sick and calm the troubled mind. That's why a warm touch can be more powerful than any medication.

Coupled with a kind word, a loving touch can mend a broken heart, restore our energy and will to succeed. A gentle touch often provides the nonverbal cue that it's okay to just be ourselves without fear of judgment or ridicule.

A prolonged touch send shivers down our spines and awakens the senses, helping us to see clearer, smell aromas more clearly, hear better and feel the energies that are around us. Touch reminds us of our innate divinity. Touch reassures us that in our trek through life -- which can become difficult sometimes -- we are not alone in the journey.

A welcomed touch revives us at a spiritual level too. It sharpens the connection we have to the divine. It awakens the dormant spirit of creativity and possibility within each of us.

So, here's my challenge to you.

A. When you talk to your loved ones, get close enough to,

1. Make eye contact while you converse with each other and

2. Hold their hands, or touch their arms lovingly while they talk and you listen.

B. Up your hug quotient.

While you should be weary of people's personal spaces, greet your friends and family with a warm hug. If hugs feel uncomfortable, start with high fives or a hand shake to say hello and good bye. Start somewhere!

C. Get (and give) frequent massages.

Enjoy their sensuality. Enjoy how they make you feel. As a touch enthusiast, I thoroughly enjoy giving and receiving massage! Ideally, find a massage provider you can trust who understands how to merge therapeutic massage styles like deep tissue and Swedish massage with light touch, Esalen style massage or Reiki.

While you're at it, you and your partner should learn to massage each other. Massage can add a whole new dimension to your relationship!

Getting past your touch issues

The problem with some people is that they were raised in households that equate anything remotely associated with touch as sexual. That association is destructive and psychotic. To interpret any and all forms of touch as a sexual overture is a clear sign of spiritual and mental immaturity. People who subscribe to the “touch is immoral” fallacy should be quarantined until they get professional help.

In my experiences, the people with touch issues are some of the most chronically depressed, angry, repressed and unstable people I’ve ever met. They are a nuclear explosion waiting to happen. The fallout (political correctness gone too far, hyper vigilance, lawsuits, false allegations, divorce, lost jobs, estrangement from their own spouse and children, turning to addiction-forming prescription pain killers) poison them and the people in close proximity.

What about guilt?

If you feel guilty when you give touch or receive the touch of another you should take the time to reflect on what you are feeling and why. Sit down with a pen and paper and brainstorm the feelings or internal conversations/arguments that are surfacing and why.

There are several books and DVDs on the market designed to help people who find themselves trapped by perpetual guilt. Address your issue before it destroys you and people in your proximity.

Understanding the difference between sensual and sexual

A common mistake made by those new to giving and receiving touch is confusion over the sensual and sexual. They are NOT the same.

Sex is Sex. If you’re a normal functioning adult living in a fairly progressive country, then you should know what sex looks and feels like (at least in theory). If not, Google the word sex and read what Wikipedia says about it. Or turn off the safe search option on Google and scan a few of the results you get.

Sensuality transcends sex, making it key to living with passion. Here is how I define sensuality...

"Sensual is how it feels when someone washes your hair, or how alive you feel when someone pays you a sincere compliment.

Sensual is how you get goose bumps when you read or hear something unexpected, or how good it feels when someone scratches your itchy back just right.

Sensuality is your reaction when you bite into a warm doughnut or perfectly cooked steak. It is how good hot cocoa feels going down your throat on a cold winter day, or the way the air smells when it's about to rain.

Sensuality is the feeling you get when you lean over to smell a newly blossomed rose or gardenia.

While sexual intimacy can certainly be sensual, I hope my examples above demonstrate that sensuality extends to ALL of our senses. Sensuality adds endless colors to the palette we use to paint our experiences and the notes we use to sing."

D. Learn to enjoy touching yourself.

Take prolonged baths and showers. Take pleasure from the heat of the water as splashes onto your back or the scent of the lavender or patchouli scented bath soap. Meanwhile wash yourself deliberately and slowly, using the rich lather of the body wash to caress your neck, shoulder, chest, stomach, thighs, calves, ankle, feet and each toe individually. Be sure to wash all of you.

Enjoy the experience. Light some candles. Play some music. Pour yourself a glass of your favorite beverage. Get yourself one of those back scrubbers with the long handle. Invest in a shower head that offers you some variety of water pressure (I like the ones that make it feel like you’re getting rained on). While you’re shopping, get an eye mask to block out the light and heighten the other senses. Having soft (even heated) towels to wrap your body in afterward makes perfect sense! Bathing need not be a strictly functional experience.

Continue the benefits of touching yourself by spend a few extra minutes in your bed in the morning or in the evening before you go to sleep and indulge in self touch. Caress your whole body, lightly gliding your fingertips over your skin. Pay attention to how it feels.

What do you especially enjoy? Do like the way your scalp feels as you massage it? The way your hair feels as you gently tug it? The way you ears respond to massaging them? It’s your body. Don’t be ashamed of it! Invest in some quality creams, massage oils and lotions and enjoy your body. Love yourself. After all, if you can't find pleasure and comfort in touching yourself, how can expect to be comfortable receiving the gift of touch from others?

Until next time, stay positive and be passionate

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