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Sexy Sadie, What Have You Done? A Moment with Bill Reflection

Updated on May 20, 2014

From the Beatles

“Sexy Sadie, what have you done?

You made a fool of everyone
You made a fool of everyone
Sexy Sadie, oh, what have you done?

Sexy Sadie, you broke the rules
You laid it down for all to see
You laid it down for all to see
Sexy Sadie, oh, you broke the rules

One sunny day the world was waiting for the lover
She came along to turn on everyone
Sexy Sadie, the greatest of them all

Sexy Sadie, how did you know?
The world was waiting just for you
The world was waiting just for you
Sexy Sadie, oh, how did you know?

Sexy Sadie, you'll get yours yet
However big you think you are
However big you think you are
Sexy Sadie, oh, you'll get yours yet

We gave her everything we owned just to sit at her table
Just a smile would lighten everything
Sexy Sadie, she's the latest and the greatest of them all

She made a fool of everyone
Sexy Sadie”

“Sexie Sadie” was originally recorded by The Beatles on July 19, 1968, at Abbey Road. It was, or course, credited to Lennon and McCarthy, but the majority of the song and lyrics were written by John Lennon.

In Lennon’s words, “It was inspired by Maharishi. I wrote it when we had our bags packed and we were leaving his ashram in India….I was leaving Maharishi with a bad taste.”

Rumor has it that Maharishi had made a sexual advance on Mia Farrow, and Lennon was disillusioned by the nonsense and hypocrisy of Maharishi’s teachings.

Which leads me to these reflections.

There are a lot of people out there who can disappoint you
There are a lot of people out there who can disappoint you | Source

Can You Relate?

Let’s substitute something that happened in our lives that disillusioned us. Can you think of something, or someone?

The first thing that comes to my mind, of course, is alcohol. I was in love with alcohol from the very first taste. It gave me courage. It gave me the ability to socialize. It freed me from self-imposed restraints, and gave color to a black and white world.

But eventually my friend, alcohol, took more and more from me. He was an ungrateful bastard, and he almost killed me. Of course, I was a willing participant, and more than willing to sacrifice everything for the “loving embrace” of alcohol, but the bottom line is the disillusionment and feeling of betrayal that came when I realized that alcohol really was not my friend but, in fact, my enemy.

Sing along with the lads from Liverpool

Lost Love

Here is a topic I’m sure you can all relate to….lost love.

You meet the perfect guy. He treats you like a lady, with what appears to be genuine respect and admiration. You laugh together, make love, and become entwined in the rapture of it all.

But slowly the miracle begins to unravel. Harsh words are spoken. The perfect guy suddenly finds fault in you, and speaks often about those faults. He chastises you, mocks you, and erodes your self-worth. He takes advantage of you, uses you, and plays with your emotions.

What was once a perfect relationship turns ugly, and where there was once love there is now only regret and shame.

Can you relate?

We are even capable of disappointing ourselves
We are even capable of disappointing ourselves | Source

How About Self-recrimination?

We begin with such high hopes, don’t we? We spring forth from childhood with visions of sugar plums dancing in our heads. We are going to conquer the world, make our mark, and when our days are ending, we will look back on a life well-lived, a life of substance and meaning.

But then….

Life changes our plans. We make a mistake. We make another. The mistakes have consequences, often times negative in nature, and slowly, but surely, our confidence erodes, as the banks of a river will in time. The once confident young man, or woman, is now riddled with self-doubt and self-pity, and those once beautiful dreams are dulled and diminished.

Who can we blame? The mirror does not lie, and on those quiet nights when it is just you and your memories, it is hard to deny that the buck stops at your doorstep. You are disillusioned by your failures, and the will to go on is fading fast.

Sound like anyone you know?

How About…and About…and About?

Name your poison. Are you disillusioned by your job? By friends? By co-workers? By your children? Who has let you down recently? We are surrounded by endless examples of broken trust. If only people would act the way you think they should act, your life and this world would be a better place. Am I right? Have you ever said those words to yourself? Of course you have. Be honest.

But here’s the thing….there will always be a source of disillusionment and disappointment. It is inevitable, unless, possibly, we live our lives as hermits, cut off from the rest of the world…but then, chances are good that we will find ourselves lacking and once again be disappointed.

So what can we do? We can’t, as Timothy Leary suggested, “tune in, turn on, and drop out,” so what can we do?

The Key to Serenity

Listen carefully, and consider yourselves lucky, for I am not charging you a fee for this wisdom. Are you ready?

If you are tired of being disappointed and disillusioned, all you need do is practice acceptance.

All the word is a play, and you are but one bit actor. You are not the director of all of life. You are not a mini-god who controls the actions of others. You are an imperfect being in an imperfect world. You are the square peg surrounded by round holes. You are a spiritual being having a human experience.

Take a deep breath. Relax and allow your mind to, as the Beatles suggest, float downstream.

Accept life as it is, and see the wonder in it all. Of course there will be people who will let you down. How could there not be on a planet overflowing with seven billion fellow travelers? Imagine how exhausting it would be to try to change everyone you do not agree with. It is much less exhausting to just concentrate on changing you.

Have you made mistakes in the past? Get over them. Have you allowed others to negatively influence you in the past? Learn from those experiences and get over them. Do you allow circumstances to dictate how you are going to live your life, or how you will see life? Take control of your own life and live it free.

Or we can embrace life, practice acceptance, and live happily
Or we can embrace life, practice acceptance, and live happily | Source

Final Thoughts

Disappointment and disillusionment only happen if our expectations are too high or unrealistic. Knowing that, I find great comfort in the fact that I can control how much disappointment occurs in my lifetime.

When my expectations are low or non-existent, my level of serenity increases. When my expectations are too high, I am opening myself up to the possibility of disappointment. This applies to people that I meet as well as circumstances I find myself in during the course of my life.

It turns out that Sexy Sadie was given the power to make a fool of everyone. Knowing that, we can control the amount of power we give to the next Sexy Sadie that passes before us.

2014 William D. Holland (aka billybuc)

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    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Hope indeed, Deb! LOL Thank you!

    • aviannovice profile image

      Deb Hirt 3 years ago from Stillwater, OK

      We must control what we can, an not sweat what we cannot. At least we don't have to go home to those people that offend us(I hope!)

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      I'm glad to hear it, Ann!

    • annart profile image

      Ann Carr 3 years ago from SW England

      I had a great weekend, thanks; time with my little ones fills me with joy - no disappointment there!

      Ann

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Ann, I grumble a lot in my day-to-day life, but my beliefs are what you see in these writings. I'm a lovable curmudgeon. :) That's what bev calls me and it is fairly accurate.

      I hope you had a nice weekend my dear. Thank you.

      bill

    • annart profile image

      Ann Carr 3 years ago from SW England

      That title certainly caught my eye! Yes, there are so many situations that disappoint, so many people that leave a bad taste, but then we're interacting with them, aren't we? We have control over how we interact or not.

      I've found that if I don't expect a particular result but just wait and see, then the outcome is often surprising and usually much more enjoyable or at the very least thought-provoking. As you say, it's all up to us; take life as it comes and make the best of it and 'quit with them negative waves'!

      Are you always so positive in your day-to-day life, bill? If so, it must be so easy for Bev to be around you; I bet she knows she's a lucky lady.

      Ann

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Faith, it is a lesson we all have to learn the hard way. We want so badly for people to be perfect, and it's just not in the cards and never will be. Best to realize that and be realistic about us all.

      blessings dear friend

    • Faith Reaper profile image

      Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

      I learned a long time ago when we place another human being on a pedestal, we will certainly be disappointed, as that person is just that, human, as we all are, and will surely at some point fall hard off that pedestal on which we have placed him or her. To me, living in the past is jut a waste of time, other than learning from the past, as it is this day in reality that counts. None of us are guaranteed a tomorrow, so let us be mindful to live in this present day to the fullest.

      I hope you are enjoying this day to the fullest. Blessings always

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      You are welcome, vkwok,and thank you.

    • vkwok profile image

      Victor W. Kwok 3 years ago from Hawaii

      Thanks for sharing this interesting article, Bill. And thank you for the wisdom the article brought!

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you, Manatita....blessings to you always my friend.

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      manatita44 3 years ago

      John Lennon was remarkable in many ways. I think he is my favourite.

      Expectation is a killer isn't it? Still we fall foul.

      'When my expectations are low or non-existent, my level of serenity increases.'- William Holland.

      "Peace begins when expectation ends." - Sri Chinmoy.

      Beautiful article!

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      All valid points, Brian. I have no feelings one way or another on Maharishi....this was just reference material to lead into the article.

    • B. Leekley profile image

      Brian Leekley 3 years ago from Kalamazoo, Michigan, USA

      Regarding Maharishi Mahesh Yogi, it seems to me better to judge a person by his whole life and predominant achievements and influences rather than by one rumor of an accusation. What I know is that I am still happy with TM after 40 years of practice and that there is a lot of wisdom in Maharishi's writings and lectures. Mia Farrow's sister Prudence became a TM teacher, learning directly from Maharishi, and has remained one for decades. George Harrison continued to practice TM, in later years including it among his eclectic meditation practices.

      You make good points about disillusionment and about acceptance that humans are imperfect; that may include one's own hasty judgement. Up, Useful, and Interesting.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Jo, thank you for a great comment. Best wishes to you and I hope things settle down soon at work. Upheaval in the workplace is no fun at all.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Great philosophy, Bill. I think growing older definitely makes us more accepting. It gives us a wonderful perspective on life that was missing in our youth. Thanks for your thoughts my friend.

    • tobusiness profile image

      Jo Alexis-Hagues 3 years ago from Bedfordshire, U.K

      Bill, great hub!! We all need a crutch now and again, a glass of something to loosen things up and get us through the difficult times, a special friend to unload the negative and celebrate the positive things in life. Unfortunately, like the booze, friendships can become toxic and we have to unload them also, but it can be a tough call to make. There are many Sexy Sadies out there, their middle name is disillusion. We're all searching for 'the answer' if we seek it in others, we are sure to be disappointed, true friendship is precious, but a rare thing, when we find it we should treasure it, but always remember that what we seek is usually right there within ourselves.

      Another great piece, I hope all is well with you, I've been pretty snowed under lately, a lot of upheaval at work, doesn't look like settling down any time soon, still; I'm soldering on :). My best as always.

    • bdegiulio profile image

      Bill De Giulio 3 years ago from Massachusetts

      Hey Bill. I've learned to temper expectations and it really does increase the sense of joy when they are exceeded. Likewise I am rarely disappointed nowadays. I've found that this really works for me. Don't get me wrong, we've had our share of disappointments over the years but I tend to look at these as some else's loss and I move on. Excellent topic.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      John, it is hard to quantify the amount of influence the Beatles had on my life as a teen. Fifty years later I am still learning from their words. That is some serious influence my friend.

      Thank you for your reflections.

    • Jodah profile image

      John Hansen 3 years ago from Queensland Australia

      A lot of wisdom can be found in Beatles songs bill, especially ones written by John Lennon. I love the message in this hub and I have lived through a lot of what you say so can definitely relate. Now I try not to rely on or have too high an expectation of anyone or thing. The higher your expectation, the further you have to fall. My poem "never dally in the field of vain regret" has a similar theme I feel. Oh and I think we have all suffered an addiction of one kind or another. To be able to break that hold over you is a big step in changing your life. Voted up.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      MizB, you hit the nail on the head with that first observation. In the final analysis, we always have to look in the mirror.

      Thanks for a great point.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Ann, I love that quote. Thanks for making my day.

    • MizBejabbers profile image

      MizBejabbers 3 years ago

      It is a very thought-provoking hub. I think part of the reason that we expect so much from others and are disappointed when they don’t live up to our expectations is that we aren’t taking full responsibility for our own lives (a subject for a whole other hub). But a person like the Maharishi does have a responsibility to live up to, so I can see his students’ disappointment and disillusionment when he doesn’t.

      I’m glad you published the words to the song, because I never knew the full lyrics.

    • Ann1Az2 profile image

      Ann1Az2 3 years ago from Orange, Texas

      Loved this hub, my friend. Very inspiring and so true.

      A quote from Ann Landers: "The Lord gave us two ends - one to sit on and the other to think with. Success depends on which one we use the most."

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Oh, Flourish, I know for a fact I have disappointed people. Nothing I can do but learn from it and move forward. Thank you for your thoughts.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Bobbi, thank you. That is a great description of my mind. There is nothing mundane or boring about life for me, and ideas are constantly flooding my mind. Where, oh where, do I find the time to write about them all?

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Jen, I would say you have lived quite a life for as young as you are. Thank you for such a wonderful comment, and for sharing your thoughts. I have always thrived on pressure. Some of my best work comes from the old "back to the wall" adage. There was a time, many years ago, when I was disappointed in myself, but those days are gone. I love the life I have lived, and look forward to many more adventures.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you so much, Wiccan. Some lessons are harder than others, are they not? :)

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Kindred, I just appreciate it whenever you can find the time to stop by. I'm glad I didn't disappoint you. You and me both my friend. Life would have been a bit easier had I learned this lesson early on.

      love,

      bill

    • FlourishAnyway profile image

      FlourishAnyway 3 years ago from USA

      This makes me wonder how many people I have disappointed and for what reasons, but I hope they have gotten over it. I can count a few. Expectations too high, yes, or just simply placed on the wrong person at the wrong time.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Dora, I wish you well my friend, and I hope your dilemma clears up soon. Thank you!

    • PurvisBobbi44 profile image

      PurvisBobbi44 3 years ago from Florida

      Bill,

      I learned at a very young age not to expect anything more than a human can deliver. I do not put anyone on a pedal stool to watch them fall and I rise above negativity; also I do not surround myself with depressing people.

      But I respect and admire people who overcome any type of addiction. I still crave my Grandmother Knight’s Heavenly cooking. And, I will always miss her until my last breath.

      This was a great hub as always. I like the way your mind works---your brain must be a racetrack with so many topics racing across the winning line to be written.

      Bobbi Purvis

    • Availiasvision profile image

      Jennifer Arnett 3 years ago from California

      Bill,

      Everyone, at some level goes through disillusionment. It's an unfortunate aspect of life, however, if harnessed correctly, it can actually make our true path a little clearer. Maybe what we thought we wanted is nothing in comparison to what lies ahead. It is only in the looking back that we can see how our paths made the most sense for us.

      For instance, I thought I would be a film producer in LA right now, but health issues and load of other things diverted that journey. I can mope and sob or use that disappointment to propel what I really want to do, which is write. The way I look at it, writing has put all of my chips on the table. It's all or nothing. I'm writing by the seat of my pants. Pressure is actually the best thing in regards to achievement. Turning coal into diamonds is way overused. I like to think of it as writing against a ticking time bomb. Either finish the novel, or poof!

      One thing that pulls me out of negative thinking over the past is to think about all that I have had the pleasure of doing or accomplishing. Sure, my wildest dreams haven't yet come true, but I've had experiences that blow my mind. I dwell on all of the adventures I have had: making independent films, ice climbing, adventuring, backpacking Europe, studying Irish Literature at Trinity College Dublin, becoming a Divemaster and diving some of the most incredible places, and finishing my degree in Creative Writing. When you look back, that isn't failing. We just get caught up obsessing over a dream or a person or an ideal to the extent that the rest of our lives feel like failure, but they are not! Onward into battle my friends. Or, to quote the movie Troy, "Take it, it's yours!"

    • WiccanSage profile image

      Mackenzie Sage Wright 3 years ago

      This is beautiful, Billy; it's very true about learning to accept things. Most of the time people are unhappy when they have high (and many) expectations that are never met. While it's good to have goals and striving to change things you don't like, if you can learn to overall accept and appreciate what you do have in life, you already start out ahead. It's when you let disappointments rule you that you start out in the hole. Lovely work here, thanks for sharing your thoughts. Voted up!

    • lrc7815 profile image

      Linda Crist 3 years ago from Central Virginia

      Kindred, I had a minute today and your title caught my eye. I didn't know what to expect but I am not disappointed. See the irony in that? lol This is such a good lesson for all of us and one I wish I had learned earlier in life. It has served me well lately but boy could I have used it in my 20's, 30's and 40's too. I love the way you turned a lyric into such a powerful lesson. You are a master with words. Needless to say I've voted this one up and will be sharing it too. Sending love your way and hoping, but not expecting, to get back to writing one day soon.

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      Dora Weithers 3 years ago from The Caribbean

      Bill, I will not identify my Sexy Sadie, but I have been so disillusioned. I'm still struggling not to look like a fool. This is the most meaningful article I have read today. Thank you.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      No, you don't, DDE. As long as we pick ourselves back up after the fall.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Eric, I don't think any of us are immune my friend. Thank you!

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Such is life indeed, Greg. I like your attitude.

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      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Life is like a roller coaster you never know when you will fall of the wagon or continue with a free range.

    • Ericdierker profile image

      Eric Dierker 3 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Acceptance is King, but I still like to anticipate and have my expectations they are fun.

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      Greg Boudonck 3 years ago from In Nebraska After Hurricane Maria

      Great way to put disillusionment in a place where it cannot control. Life is full of it; if we just keep walking through, it will get better, or maybe worse, but such is life, and at least we got on the ride.

      Good hub Bill.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Liz, thanks for sharing your experience. I guess as long as we learn those harsh lessons, it's all good. :)

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Ruby, hold on to the magical key. That's a priceless piece you have there. :) Thank you dear friend.

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      Elizabeth Parker 3 years ago from Las Vegas, NV

      It's interesting about alcohol- what you wrote that it gave you the ability to socialize. I've never had an issue with alcohol, but I have a drink now and then. When I was younger, I'd always have a drink at parties, because I'm actually quite shy, so it definitely did help socialize. Now that I am older, I realize I don't like large parties or crowds, so if I feel uncomfortable, I just don't go. I wish I used that same logic when I was younger! Regarding expectations, sometime when we expect too much, disappointment follows, but I suppose it is a harsh lesson we learn!

    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Fuller 3 years ago from Southern Illinois

      Geez.....I could write a book. ( Yea right! ) Hee. Great topic and so easy to follow. I found a golden key one day and it unlocked all the closed doors. I cleaned house and rarely look back. Wonderful the way you can evoke memories and inspire us to move on. Thank you much...

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Sha, I'd say she is right on. I'll have to work on that. :)

      Thank you dear friend.

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      Shauna L Bowling 3 years ago from Central Florida

      Bill, my sister's philosophy is that she expects nothing from anyone. That way she's never disappointed but is often pleasantly surprised. I'd say she has the right attitude.

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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Nadine, you would love my Bev. She would do the same thing and expect nothing in return....we give gifts of love out of love....nothing need be given in return. Bravo to you for doing that.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      True words, breakfastpop, and it took me a long time to learn them. Thanks for your thoughts.

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      Nadine May 3 years ago from Cape Town, Western Cape, South Africa

      Great hub Billy. Reading it made me realize that my expectations were too high when we took in two homeless friends to help them to get them back on their feet. The one stayed for 9 months and was angry when we asked her for a contribution towards living expenses. We never heard from her anymore,but she does live 30 min drive from us. The other friend was a young woman who clearly never grew up. After 5 months we asked her to look for other accommodation. She also never paid a cent and we are also not included in her social life anymore.

      We have often asked ourselves why we attracted these two, so called friends in our lives. We feel very fortunate to have what we have, so was it out of guilt? Having expectations is what was mirrored to us, so I've learned not to have any anymore. We do things out of love, and leave it at that.

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      breakfastpop 3 years ago

      I learned a long time go that you cannot love another human being if you don't love yourself.... Up and awesome, billy.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Randi, and I do believe it is the hardest lesson to learn....but boy oh boy, is it ever liberating if we learn it.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thanks Carol...our poison of choice...I like that. :) Thankfully, I am much more self-aware today than I was thirty years ago.

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      Randi Benlulu 3 years ago from Mesa, AZ

      Great advice, Bill! Probably the hardest, but most important lesson:

      "Take a deep breath. Relax and allow your mind to, as the Beatles suggest, float downstream." and " Take control of your own life and live it free."

      Words to live by! Thank you, Bill!

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      carol stanley 3 years ago from Arizona

      Most interesting Bill. In other words we all have our own errors and omissions to deal with in life. I have seen many wonderful relationships turn just the way you described..and personally in my life with a child. Sometimes a few words can change everything. Our poison of choice...umm that is an interesting concept. We all have one whether to admit or not. Great write.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Shelley, I would say that after thirty years, he has proven he just might be reliable. LOL Good for you. I'm glad you found that guy.

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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Yes, Lizzy, it is....but our happiness and well-being should be our number one priority...so.....

      But you know all this, oh wise one. :)

      Thanks my dear.

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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Bravo, Nell, and I agree completely. Okay, that's one good thing about getting older. Now let's try to think of one more. LOL Thank you my friend.

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      Shelley Watson 3 years ago

      I've had a couple of little ones and two big disillusionments in my life, the first being my father and the second, a long term (7 year) relationship. So, yes I can relate. In the words of the Rolling Stones, "It's all over Now." My husband, in 30 years has never let me down. So guess I won't be searching for 'Sexy Sadie'. LOL

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      Liz Davis 3 years ago from Hudson, FL

      Simple truth that's difficult to live out.

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      Nell Rose 3 years ago from England

      Hi bill, I do know exactly what you mean, the good thing about being older, and lets face it there has to be a good thing! lol! is that we learn to switch off, or move away from the negative people and actions, I cringe when I look back and realise just how much people used to influence me, never again! my actions are my own, so if they go wrong its only me that i can yell at! lol!

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Janine, your mother and I would get along smashingly well. Thanks for being here and tell her I said hello.

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      Janine Huldie 3 years ago from New York, New York

      Like you said to me just yesterday, any article that includes reference to The Beatles is up there in my book and seriously preaching to the choir on this. Loved your use of Sexy Sadie here and believe it or not, I did know a bit of the backstory here, thanks to my dear, old mom! Thanks Bill and have a wonderful day as always now.