Sexy Sadie, What Have You Done? A Moment with Bill Reflection

We must control what we can, an not sweat what we cannot. At least we don't have to go home to those people that offend us(I hope!)

I had a great weekend, thanks; time with my little ones fills me with joy - no disappointment there!

Ann

That title certainly caught my eye! Yes, there are so many situations that disappoint, so many people that leave a bad taste, but then we're interacting with them, aren't we? We have control over how we interact or not.

I've found that if I don't expect a particular result but just wait and see, then the outcome is often surprising and usually much more enjoyable or at the very least thought-provoking. As you say, it's all up to us; take life as it comes and make the best of it and 'quit with them negative waves'!

Are you always so positive in your day-to-day life, bill? If so, it must be so easy for Bev to be around you; I bet she knows she's a lucky lady.

Ann

I learned a long time ago when we place another human being on a pedestal, we will certainly be disappointed, as that person is just that, human, as we all are, and will surely at some point fall hard off that pedestal on which we have placed him or her. To me, living in the past is jut a waste of time, other than learning from the past, as it is this day in reality that counts. None of us are guaranteed a tomorrow, so let us be mindful to live in this present day to the fullest.

I hope you are enjoying this day to the fullest. Blessings always

Thanks for sharing this interesting article, Bill. And thank you for the wisdom the article brought!

John Lennon was remarkable in many ways. I think he is my favourite.

Expectation is a killer isn't it? Still we fall foul.

'When my expectations are low or non-existent, my level of serenity increases.'- William Holland.

"Peace begins when expectation ends." - Sri Chinmoy.

Beautiful article!

Regarding Maharishi Mahesh Yogi, it seems to me better to judge a person by his whole life and predominant achievements and influences rather than by one rumor of an accusation. What I know is that I am still happy with TM after 40 years of practice and that there is a lot of wisdom in Maharishi's writings and lectures. Mia Farrow's sister Prudence became a TM teacher, learning directly from Maharishi, and has remained one for decades. George Harrison continued to practice TM, in later years including it among his eclectic meditation practices.

You make good points about disillusionment and about acceptance that humans are imperfect; that may include one's own hasty judgement. Up, Useful, and Interesting.

Bill, great hub!! We all need a crutch now and again, a glass of something to loosen things up and get us through the difficult times, a special friend to unload the negative and celebrate the positive things in life. Unfortunately, like the booze, friendships can become toxic and we have to unload them also, but it can be a tough call to make. There are many Sexy Sadies out there, their middle name is disillusion. We're all searching for 'the answer' if we seek it in others, we are sure to be disappointed, true friendship is precious, but a rare thing, when we find it we should treasure it, but always remember that what we seek is usually right there within ourselves.

Another great piece, I hope all is well with you, I've been pretty snowed under lately, a lot of upheaval at work, doesn't look like settling down any time soon, still; I'm soldering on :). My best as always.

Hey Bill. I've learned to temper expectations and it really does increase the sense of joy when they are exceeded. Likewise I am rarely disappointed nowadays. I've found that this really works for me. Don't get me wrong, we've had our share of disappointments over the years but I tend to look at these as some else's loss and I move on. Excellent topic.

A lot of wisdom can be found in Beatles songs bill, especially ones written by John Lennon. I love the message in this hub and I have lived through a lot of what you say so can definitely relate. Now I try not to rely on or have too high an expectation of anyone or thing. The higher your expectation, the further you have to fall. My poem "never dally in the field of vain regret" has a similar theme I feel. Oh and I think we have all suffered an addiction of one kind or another. To be able to break that hold over you is a big step in changing your life. Voted up.

It is a very thought-provoking hub. I think part of the reason that we expect so much from others and are disappointed when they don’t live up to our expectations is that we aren’t taking full responsibility for our own lives (a subject for a whole other hub). But a person like the Maharishi does have a responsibility to live up to, so I can see his students’ disappointment and disillusionment when he doesn’t.

I’m glad you published the words to the song, because I never knew the full lyrics.

Loved this hub, my friend. Very inspiring and so true.

A quote from Ann Landers: "The Lord gave us two ends - one to sit on and the other to think with. Success depends on which one we use the most."

This makes me wonder how many people I have disappointed and for what reasons, but I hope they have gotten over it. I can count a few. Expectations too high, yes, or just simply placed on the wrong person at the wrong time.

Bill,

I learned at a very young age not to expect anything more than a human can deliver. I do not put anyone on a pedal stool to watch them fall and I rise above negativity; also I do not surround myself with depressing people.

But I respect and admire people who overcome any type of addiction. I still crave my Grandmother Knight’s Heavenly cooking. And, I will always miss her until my last breath.

This was a great hub as always. I like the way your mind works---your brain must be a racetrack with so many topics racing across the winning line to be written.

Bobbi Purvis

Bill,

Everyone, at some level goes through disillusionment. It's an unfortunate aspect of life, however, if harnessed correctly, it can actually make our true path a little clearer. Maybe what we thought we wanted is nothing in comparison to what lies ahead. It is only in the looking back that we can see how our paths made the most sense for us.

For instance, I thought I would be a film producer in LA right now, but health issues and load of other things diverted that journey. I can mope and sob or use that disappointment to propel what I really want to do, which is write. The way I look at it, writing has put all of my chips on the table. It's all or nothing. I'm writing by the seat of my pants. Pressure is actually the best thing in regards to achievement. Turning coal into diamonds is way overused. I like to think of it as writing against a ticking time bomb. Either finish the novel, or poof!

One thing that pulls me out of negative thinking over the past is to think about all that I have had the pleasure of doing or accomplishing. Sure, my wildest dreams haven't yet come true, but I've had experiences that blow my mind. I dwell on all of the adventures I have had: making independent films, ice climbing, adventuring, backpacking Europe, studying Irish Literature at Trinity College Dublin, becoming a Divemaster and diving some of the most incredible places, and finishing my degree in Creative Writing. When you look back, that isn't failing. We just get caught up obsessing over a dream or a person or an ideal to the extent that the rest of our lives feel like failure, but they are not! Onward into battle my friends. Or, to quote the movie Troy, "Take it, it's yours!"

This is beautiful, Billy; it's very true about learning to accept things. Most of the time people are unhappy when they have high (and many) expectations that are never met. While it's good to have goals and striving to change things you don't like, if you can learn to overall accept and appreciate what you do have in life, you already start out ahead. It's when you let disappointments rule you that you start out in the hole. Lovely work here, thanks for sharing your thoughts. Voted up!

Kindred, I had a minute today and your title caught my eye. I didn't know what to expect but I am not disappointed. See the irony in that? lol This is such a good lesson for all of us and one I wish I had learned earlier in life. It has served me well lately but boy could I have used it in my 20's, 30's and 40's too. I love the way you turned a lyric into such a powerful lesson. You are a master with words. Needless to say I've voted this one up and will be sharing it too. Sending love your way and hoping, but not expecting, to get back to writing one day soon.

Bill, I will not identify my Sexy Sadie, but I have been so disillusioned. I'm still struggling not to look like a fool. This is the most meaningful article I have read today. Thank you.

Life is like a roller coaster you never know when you will fall of the wagon or continue with a free range.

Acceptance is King, but I still like to anticipate and have my expectations they are fun.

Great way to put disillusionment in a place where it cannot control. Life is full of it; if we just keep walking through, it will get better, or maybe worse, but such is life, and at least we got on the ride.

Good hub Bill.

It's interesting about alcohol- what you wrote that it gave you the ability to socialize. I've never had an issue with alcohol, but I have a drink now and then. When I was younger, I'd always have a drink at parties, because I'm actually quite shy, so it definitely did help socialize. Now that I am older, I realize I don't like large parties or crowds, so if I feel uncomfortable, I just don't go. I wish I used that same logic when I was younger! Regarding expectations, sometime when we expect too much, disappointment follows, but I suppose it is a harsh lesson we learn!

Geez.....I could write a book. ( Yea right! ) Hee. Great topic and so easy to follow. I found a golden key one day and it unlocked all the closed doors. I cleaned house and rarely look back. Wonderful the way you can evoke memories and inspire us to move on. Thank you much...

Bill, my sister's philosophy is that she expects nothing from anyone. That way she's never disappointed but is often pleasantly surprised. I'd say she has the right attitude.

Great hub Billy. Reading it made me realize that my expectations were too high when we took in two homeless friends to help them to get them back on their feet. The one stayed for 9 months and was angry when we asked her for a contribution towards living expenses. We never heard from her anymore,but she does live 30 min drive from us. The other friend was a young woman who clearly never grew up. After 5 months we asked her to look for other accommodation. She also never paid a cent and we are also not included in her social life anymore.

We have often asked ourselves why we attracted these two, so called friends in our lives. We feel very fortunate to have what we have, so was it out of guilt? Having expectations is what was mirrored to us, so I've learned not to have any anymore. We do things out of love, and leave it at that.

I learned a long time go that you cannot love another human being if you don't love yourself.... Up and awesome, billy.

Great advice, Bill! Probably the hardest, but most important lesson:

"Take a deep breath. Relax and allow your mind to, as the Beatles suggest, float downstream." and " Take control of your own life and live it free."

Words to live by! Thank you, Bill!

Most interesting Bill. In other words we all have our own errors and omissions to deal with in life. I have seen many wonderful relationships turn just the way you described..and personally in my life with a child. Sometimes a few words can change everything. Our poison of choice...umm that is an interesting concept. We all have one whether to admit or not. Great write.

I've had a couple of little ones and two big disillusionments in my life, the first being my father and the second, a long term (7 year) relationship. So, yes I can relate. In the words of the Rolling Stones, "It's all over Now." My husband, in 30 years has never let me down. So guess I won't be searching for 'Sexy Sadie'. LOL

Simple truth that's difficult to live out.

Hi bill, I do know exactly what you mean, the good thing about being older, and lets face it there has to be a good thing! lol! is that we learn to switch off, or move away from the negative people and actions, I cringe when I look back and realise just how much people used to influence me, never again! my actions are my own, so if they go wrong its only me that i can yell at! lol!