Sexy Sadie, What Have You Done? A Moment with Bill Reflection

“Sexy Sadie, what have you done?

You made a fool of everyone
You made a fool of everyone
Sexy Sadie, oh, what have you done?

Sexy Sadie, you broke the rules
You laid it down for all to see
You laid it down for all to see
Sexy Sadie, oh, you broke the rules

One sunny day the world was waiting for the lover
She came along to turn on everyone
Sexy Sadie, the greatest of them all

Sexy Sadie, how did you know?
The world was waiting just for you
The world was waiting just for you
Sexy Sadie, oh, how did you know?

Sexy Sadie, you'll get yours yet
However big you think you are
However big you think you are
Sexy Sadie, oh, you'll get yours yet

We gave her everything we owned just to sit at her table
Just a smile would lighten everything
Sexy Sadie, she's the latest and the greatest of them all

She made a fool of everyone
Sexy Sadie”

“Sexie Sadie” was originally recorded by The Beatles on July 19, 1968, at Abbey Road. It was, or course, credited to Lennon and McCarthy, but the majority of the song and lyrics were written by John Lennon.

In Lennon’s words, “It was inspired by Maharishi. I wrote it when we had our bags packed and we were leaving his ashram in India….I was leaving Maharishi with a bad taste.”

Rumor has it that Maharishi had made a sexual advance on Mia Farrow, and Lennon was disillusioned by the nonsense and hypocrisy of Maharishi’s teachings.

Which leads me to these reflections.

Let’s substitute something that happened in our lives that disillusioned us. Can you think of something, or someone?

The first thing that comes to my mind, of course, is alcohol. I was in love with alcohol from the very first taste. It gave me courage. It gave me the ability to socialize. It freed me from self-imposed restraints, and gave color to a black and white world.

But eventually my friend, alcohol, took more and more from me. He was an ungrateful bastard, and he almost killed me. Of course, I was a willing participant, and more than willing to sacrifice everything for the “loving embrace” of alcohol, but the bottom line is the disillusionment and feeling of betrayal that came when I realized that alcohol really was not my friend but, in fact, my enemy.

Here is a topic I’m sure you can all relate to….lost love.

You meet the perfect guy. He treats you like a lady, with what appears to be genuine respect and admiration. You laugh together, make love, and become entwined in the rapture of it all.

But slowly the miracle begins to unravel. Harsh words are spoken. The perfect guy suddenly finds fault in you, and speaks often about those faults. He chastises you, mocks you, and erodes your self-worth. He takes advantage of you, uses you, and plays with your emotions.

What was once a perfect relationship turns ugly, and where there was once love there is now only regret and shame.

Can you relate?

We begin with such high hopes, don’t we? We spring forth from childhood with visions of sugar plums dancing in our heads. We are going to conquer the world, make our mark, and when our days are ending, we will look back on a life well-lived, a life of substance and meaning.

But then….

Life changes our plans. We make a mistake. We make another. The mistakes have consequences, often times negative in nature, and slowly, but surely, our confidence erodes, as the banks of a river will in time. The once confident young man, or woman, is now riddled with self-doubt and self-pity, and those once beautiful dreams are dulled and diminished.

Who can we blame? The mirror does not lie, and on those quiet nights when it is just you and your memories, it is hard to deny that the buck stops at your doorstep. You are disillusioned by your failures, and the will to go on is fading fast.

Sound like anyone you know?

Name your poison. Are you disillusioned by your job? By friends? By co-workers? By your children? Who has let you down recently? We are surrounded by endless examples of broken trust. If only people would act the way you think they should act, your life and this world would be a better place. Am I right? Have you ever said those words to yourself? Of course you have. Be honest.

But here’s the thing….there will always be a source of disillusionment and disappointment. It is inevitable, unless, possibly, we live our lives as hermits, cut off from the rest of the world…but then, chances are good that we will find ourselves lacking and once again be disappointed.

So what can we do? We can’t, as Timothy Leary suggested, “tune in, turn on, and drop out,” so what can we do?

Listen carefully, and consider yourselves lucky, for I am not charging you a fee for this wisdom. Are you ready?

If you are tired of being disappointed and disillusioned, all you need do is practice acceptance.

All the word is a play, and you are but one bit actor. You are not the director of all of life. You are not a mini-god who controls the actions of others. You are an imperfect being in an imperfect world. You are the square peg surrounded by round holes. You are a spiritual being having a human experience.

Take a deep breath. Relax and allow your mind to, as the Beatles suggest, float downstream.

Accept life as it is, and see the wonder in it all. Of course there will be people who will let you down. How could there not be on a planet overflowing with seven billion fellow travelers? Imagine how exhausting it would be to try to change everyone you do not agree with. It is much less exhausting to just concentrate on changing you.

Have you made mistakes in the past? Get over them. Have you allowed others to negatively influence you in the past? Learn from those experiences and get over them. Do you allow circumstances to dictate how you are going to live your life, or how you will see life? Take control of your own life and live it free.

Disappointment and disillusionment only happen if our expectations are too high or unrealistic. Knowing that, I find great comfort in the fact that I can control how much disappointment occurs in my lifetime.

When my expectations are low or non-existent, my level of serenity increases. When my expectations are too high, I am opening myself up to the possibility of disappointment. This applies to people that I meet as well as circumstances I find myself in during the course of my life.

It turns out that Sexy Sadie was given the power to make a fool of everyone. Knowing that, we can control the amount of power we give to the next Sexy Sadie that passes before us.

2014 William D. Holland (aka billybuc)