She's So Heavy
Depression, full fledged depression - not just a bad day depression - robs us. Depression robs the person who is depressed from feeling normal or a part of society and leaves them feeling weak, sad and often in a state of self-loathing. It also robs the people around them of the person they love. Depression is a multi-headed beast. It has multiple causes and multiple solutions. Sadly, often the final solution isn't a solution at all. It is a withdrawal and a terrible slide into ones self. Often the person turns to escapes such as drugs or hoarding or bitterness or the ultimate withdrawal - suicide.
Sometimes a depressed person feels lost. They can't see a future or a light at the end of any tunnel. They feel put upon. They feel perhaps like others depend upon them. It forces them to make do and just get through another day for the sake of others. Plus, they want to feel better. They hear that "fake it to make it" saying and they just put a foot in front of the other hoping that today will be the day they start to feel better.
Circumstances don't have to be dire either. A depressed person may from the outside seem to have it all. They can be successful. They can be rich. They can be surrounded by love and by family and yet they are depressed. It is a most insidious state. It can be caused by surroundings, bad fortune, or a loss of a loved one or possession but it also can be caused by biochemistry changes, hormonal fluctuations - it can be hereditary, it could be caused by a poor and unhealthy lifestyle. Sometimes you just don't know what draws you into the tar pit trap of depression.
OK, I'm Sad - Now What?
What do people with depression do to get over it? Sadly, I'm not really sure. Sometimes another day does bring something that turns the depression around. Sometimes you just get sick of being sad. I truly believe in concepts like "we get to try again" or "today is the first day of the rest of your life". Sometimes a sad person does just snap out of it.
Sometimes a person needs help. They need to talk to someone like a friend or a spouse or a therapist. Sometimes, if a person has a chemical issue they might need to take some medications for awhile or possibly for the rest of their lives. I've known depressed people who feel like that is a cheat, to take a "happy pill" but it isn't. No one faults a person when they need to take antibiotics to get over an illness. If a pill can set your hormones or body chemistry to a point where you feel normal again then that is a good thing. From what I know, there is no such thing as a "happy pill" - the pill just makes you feel normal. It lifts you up a bit to a place where you can navigate again. When you are happy on medications, it is truly YOU that have become happy. It's not the same as getting high to forget about the pain.
So I think the short answer solution is don't suffer alone. Tell somebody you are sad. If you know someone who is sad then reach out to them. People are probably the solution. People you know or maybe someone you don't know. You aren't alone in depression. I believe the statistic is something like ten percent of the nation is depressed and all of us will experience severe depression at some point in our lives. So use other people and their experiences and their insights and let someone help you up. It takes great strength to reach out but you'll be glad you did. It's not something you do for others alone, it is something you do for yourself.
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