ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Silencing Those Inner Voices: A Moment With Bill Essay

Updated on April 6, 2013

SILENTLY IN THE NIGHT I HEAR IT

And by the way, everything in life is writable about if you have the outgoing guts to do it, and the imagination to improvise. The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt.
Sylvia Plath

During those quiet times, as I lay in bed reflecting upon my day, I hear the voices. You are not good enough. You’ll never make it. You don’t have what it takes to succeed in writing. You will find a way to screw up this relationship. You are just ordinary; you can never do extra-ordinary things.

They have been with me my entire life. They are muted during the daytime hours. There is too much to do and not enough time to hear them clearly during the day. During the nighttime, though, their voices increase in volume and all that I worked for during the day is shrouded once again in self-doubt.

I wish they would abandon me and leave me in peace. I want so badly to proceed through one twenty-four hour period when the voices are not heard, but evidently that is not meant to be.

Do you hear them? At night, when all is quiet, and it is just you and your head sparring constantly…do you hear them?

No self doubt in me at this early age
No self doubt in me at this early age | Source

OF COURSE YOU DO


We are, after all, only human, and most of us, from time to time if not constantly, will harbor thoughts of low self-esteem and self-doubt. For those of you who do not, I applaud you and marvel at your shining self-image.

Yes, we are only human, and part of the human experience is to suffer self-doubt from time to time. That is all well and good. To overcome that self-doubt and to succeed despite it, is something to be proud of.

But what of those who cannot shed the inner-fears? What of those who are paralyzed by feelings of inadequacy, so deep as to give birth to feelings of self-loathing. What of those who have been told over and over by loved ones that they are worthless and will never amount to anything? What are we to do for those?

I know there are some of you reading this article right now.

What are we to do with you?

Low self-esteem is like driving through life with your hand-break on.
Maxwell Maltz

Slowly the self doubt inserts itself in our lives
Slowly the self doubt inserts itself in our lives | Source

WHERE DOES IT COME FROM?


Seriously, where does low self-esteem come from? We all start out on a level playing field, right? By that I mean we all come out of the womb the same way, and there certainly are no self-esteem issues when we are a baby. So what happens between the time our mothers are changing our diapers and the time when we stop believing in ourselves or our abilities?

Perhaps a million little things or one big thing? Perhaps a parent who always told you that you were worthless, whose love and praise was always withheld from you no matter how hard you tried?

Perhaps you were beaten down by countless mistakes in judgment, until the day finally arrived when you no longer trusted your own counsel?

Perhaps you never had the support system that humans so desperately need, or you never had the soft shoulder to cry on or the rock-hard shoulder to lean against?

Perhaps you were neglected, or abused, or….or….or….until one day you awoke and could no longer find happiness in the mirror?

Where does it come from? Where does it go to? Do you even know how to regain that which seems like a distant memory?

Today, self doubt is a reminder and nothing more
Today, self doubt is a reminder and nothing more | Source

It begins with self-love

ERASE THE PAST AND WRITE A NEW PRESENT


The beauty of each new sunrise is the chance to write a new script. We have the power to direct a new play, one where we are the director, actor and scriptwriter. Today is the first day of the rest of your life…blah, blah, blah, oh how trite and placating and yes, oh how true.

And yes, those same people that I mentioned earlier are saying it is too hard to erase the past, and the branding iron scars too deeply, and they have been hammered down to the point where they can’t possibly rise up again.

Yes you can!

How dare you listen to those who would demean you and worse yet, how dare you believe them.

Damn them all to hell….I hate abuse of any form…damn them! You are not worthy. You are stupid. You will never amount to anything. You are just taking up space and breathing air that someone else could use. Damn them all to hell and how dare you listen to them.

It’s like some form of torture used on prisoners of war. Slowly break down the resistance and keep hammering the message over and over and over again….you will never amount to anything and you will never succeed!

Yes you will!

You can’t do it you stupid bitch so just give up.

Yes you can!

Look at your wasted life. One mistake after another so you might just as well accept the fact that you are a loser.

No you are not!

Listen to me. You were born with the ability to move mountains. You were given the power to soar with the eagles. You were gifted with a unique combination of mind and body unequaled by anyone else in the history of mankind. There has never been anyone else like you and yet you walk around believing that you are ordinary. You are ten-thousand pounds of unleashed potential being held back by the weight of a thought.

Cast off your damn chains and start living life.

Life is a journey of discovery
Life is a journey of discovery

YOU ARE NOT ALONE


As a writer, you have to believe you're one of the best writers in the world. To sit down every day at the typewriter filled with self-doubt is not a good idea.
Jo Nesbo

Silently in the night I hear it, but it is quieter now. The self-doubt still nags, nibbles and nicks, but the wounds are not as deep and the memories do not linger as long. The little boy who believed anything was possible became an adult who lost all belief and finally became middle-aged and once again believes in miracles. Full circle, round and round, ups and downs and highs and lows, we humans run the gamut of emotions and yes, self-doubt is one of them….but it does not have to be the controlling factor in our lives.

Am I a good writer? Probably! Am I one of the best in the world? Not a chance….yet! Three simple letters but oh, so important….yet. Like that little child fresh from the womb and diapers and training wheels, I believe I can be. The nibbling and nicking serve as reminders today that I have to be willing to work at my craft. I have to be willing to face rejection, because the game ain’t over until the fat lady sings and this man gives up.

And there is no give up in this writer.

Was this about me? About you? How many of us relate to the struggles with self-doubt? How many writers, artists and musicians wake up wondering if they have what it takes? How many human beings wake up each morning and wonder if they have what it takes?

I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles.
Audrey Hepburn

The past is past. Bury it and let’s move forward. To those who said you were not good enough…..kiss off! To those who said you were not talented or brave or strong or pretty ….kiss off! To those who would demean you and try to drag you down to their level….kiss off!

Each and every one of us holds the key to happiness and contentment. We can continue to believe those self-defeating voices or we can stand proud, cast of the yoke of the past and write a new chapter in our lives.

Are you good enough?

Damned right you are!

2013 William D. Holland (aka billybuc)

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • carol7777 profile image

      carol stanley 4 years ago from Arizona

      I have suffered from this condition off and on for many things. Also lots of self doubt in relationships etc. Something happened in my life at about age 12 that caused this..Libras if I may generalize often have that experience that is a life force. There are man ramifications about this that could be discussed for hours. Feeling worthy and confident comes and goes and sometimes one little word from another can shatter this. YOu said it well as always..Voting up and sharing...

    • hawaiianodysseus profile image

      Hawaiian Odysseus 4 years ago from Southeast Washington state

      @billybuc

      Good morning, my Olympian friend/brother/mentor/peer/fellow Mariners fan, even in the doldrums when we feel like throwing the radio against wall when they end up blowing another game in the 9th!

      Wow! This hub had my self-esteem issues number all over it!

      We who know what it is to struggle with these issues also know the triumphant moment when we can break those shackles. And the amazing thing is that the shackles have only as much binding power proportional to the amount of brainwashing we've accepted. You hit the nail on the head when you challenge us to damn those lies to hell!

      Bill, I LOVE the image above that bears the caption, "Life is a journey of discovery." If this is a scene you've photographically captured while on a hike near Olympia, I hope to someday have you take me to that spot. It's the perfect metaphor for having broken through some challenging times to find this waiting just past the last hindering low-hanging branch.

      We are what we've come to believe we are.

      I like your take on the word, YET.

      Have a memorable weekend, Bill! Keep 'em coming, my friend! Your vibes inspire so many!

      Joe

      (Voted up and across, sharing, and tweeted like a bluebird on meth!)

    • innerspin profile image

      innerspin 4 years ago from uk

      Once again you've hit the nail squarely on the head with your insights. It can be easier to tell someone else that they are worthwhile than to tell yourself, especially in the still of the night. Thanks for the boost!

    • Radcliff profile image

      Liz Davis 4 years ago from Hudson, FL

      Yes, I get the night voices, too. They're terrifying! Meditation has been extremely effective for me--it truly helps you to take those thoughts captive and say, "Look! It's just an illusion, not reality".

      What is reality? You are stardust!

      Your hubs always put old songs in my head. :)

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Yes indeed, Carol....all it takes is one word. Been there, done that and most likely will return. The secret for me is being aware of it. At least if I am aware I have a chance of stopping it before it takes over my entire being. :) Thank you, Carol....now go enjoy this Saturday.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Joe....a bluebird on meth??? I'm howling like a monkey on ecstasy. :)

      You had me worried about the M's. I thought I saw that they won last night but you had me racing back to the sports page to make sure. Please dear God let them be good this year.

      As for this hub....we all go through it my friend. Writing by its solitary nature is a breeding ground for self-doubts....and then toss in all the rest of our insecurities....it's amazing we do anything rationally during a day.

      The picture is more than a metaphor. I am at peace in nature. It has always been my go-to place when my mind is rattling around and giving me no peace.

      Thank you my friend. Have a great weekend in Walla Walla. Hey, is that funky record store still open downtown...it was like a throwback to the Sixties but I don't remember the name of it.

      bill

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      inner, it is infinitely easier telling someone else that they have value. What is it about self-doubt? We are all basically insecure, aren't we? Ah, the struggle continues. :)

      Thank you so much and have a great weekend.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Lizzy??? Stardust??? That is an old one for sure. How old are you anyway? I think you are an old hippie trapped in the body of a young whipper snapper. :)

      Thanks my dear. I really do appreciate you....very much.

    • hawaiianodysseus profile image

      Hawaiian Odysseus 4 years ago from Southeast Washington state

      Bill, I believe that would be "Hot Poop, Inc." on 210 E. Main Street. Check out their videos on YouTube.

      Joe

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      I will, Joe...thanks!

    • MrsBrownsParlour profile image

      Lurana Brown 4 years ago from Chicagoland, Illinois

      You write with such directness. You reach out, heart-to-heart, to your audience with compassion and intelligence and enough levity to illustrate how genuine you really are. You have such a strong, clear, wise, caring, and encouraging voice. Thank you for sharing yourself with the world! :-)

    • Ericdierker profile image

      Eric Dierker 4 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Sometimes I just have to go back to Sesame Street basics:

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cyVzjoj96vs

      And just a little dancing around helps get rid of that devil on my shoulder.

    • MizBejabbers profile image

      MizBejabbers 4 years ago

      Well, friend Bill, you’ve said a mouthful. I think most of us start out as “normal” human beings, but we have the wind of our confidence knocked out at some time in childhood. Mine was gone by the time I was 14, and it wasn’t easy to regain. In my case I was taking some courses in self-hypnosis, and one day I had an AH-HA moment. It hit me in class that the very people who had put me down and tried to keep me down were less capable than I. I was just as intelligent and educated, and in some cases, even more so than they were. They certainly had no business judging me or trying to run my life. After that epiphany my life changed forever. I had just given myself permission to tell the naysayers to butt out, and that included my mother. It doesn’t mean that I’m not willing to listen to advice from someone with life experience who is actually trying to help.

      I also have to say that part of my lack of confidence earlier in life stemmed from being stuck in the wrong career, mainly because I was a woman. I pride myself in the fact that my generation broke the gender barriers. When I entered what had been considered a man’s world, I was successful and even respected my male colleagues. So if you have the aptitude for writing, write. Don’t tell yourself you can’t. If you suck at writing, maybe you have chosen the wrong career. But before you decide, get an evaluation from a neutral party, like a writing teacher or coach. I see a few people on hub pages who are talented, but could use a writing class or two, which should boost their confidence and chances of success. To the contrary, I see people here who are totally without talent and should stick to Facebook and Twitter.

      I say all this as I sit here on Saturday morning working overtime at my daytime editing job. By the way, I despise platitudes, too.

    • Janine Huldie profile image

      Janine Huldie 4 years ago from New York, New York

      Wonderful words of wisdom from you Bill and seriously you do always know just the right words to say. Thank you for always just being such a wonderful role model on here and for knowing just what to when we we all do need it most. Have a great weekend again my friend!! :)

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Lurana, thank you! This is me...what you see is what you get. I learned the hard way that hiding my feelings just would not work for me. Now I have opened myself up to the world and to my surprise the world has welcomed me with open arms. Who would have ever thought it possible? LOL Thank you and I hope you have a wonderful weekend in Chicago.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Well then Eric, I wish you a weekend of dancing my friend. Thanks and let us both find peace and happiness on this Saturday.

    • FreezeFrame34 profile image

      FreezeFrame34 4 years ago from Charleston SC

      Great hub, as always, billybuc! It is motivating and up-lifting! It epitomizes the quote, "You may knock me down seven times, but I will get up eight" You haven't given up when the times get tough- you just work harder and I applaud you for that!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Janine, I'm just doing my thing. Far too many years went by without connecting with people, always hiding away, afraid of the consequences of opening my heart. Those days are gone for good.

      Have a great weekend!

    • sallybea profile image

      Sally Gulbrandsen 4 years ago from Norfolk

      Funny how the little demons come to visit just as you are thinking of going to sleep! I can certainly relate to that, so many a night has been spent thinking instead of sleeping. Love the image, 'Life is a journey of Discovery'. Thanks billybuc, voted up because it lifts me up too! Have a great week-end

    • profile image

      manatita44 4 years ago

      Excellent motivational and inspiration prose. Well thought out.

    • btrbell profile image

      Randi Benlulu 4 years ago from Mesa, AZ

      Great hub, Bill! I think like many people that I am the only one with so much self doubt. When I read your hubs, I see a strong man, confidant in his ideas. It is hard for me to visualize self doubt there! It is comforting to know that I don't have a monopoly on it!

      Love the quotes! Thank you!

    • vkwok profile image

      Victor W. Kwok 4 years ago from Hawaii

      A motivational article that speaks so many truths, all reality. Great hub!

    • CloudExplorer profile image

      Mike Pugh 4 years ago from New York City

      I gave you 4 thumbs up Bill for writing this super motivator here, and its very helpful, as well as uplifting for those folks whom either beat themselves over the head all the time, or allow others to do more of the same.

      I learned to simply ignore such ruthless or senseless negative thought processes as your hub here expressed about, that many ignorant folks conjure up, and it has done wonders for me today.

      "Awesomesauce" is my definitive term of phraseology I shall give this hub :) thanks for lighting up the screen here bro as you do so very well, and with your amazing heart felt writings and intense passion for humanity and the likes.

      Powerful message bro, thumbs up and you know the rest man.

    • xstatic profile image

      Jim Higgins 4 years ago from Eugene, Oregon

      Bill, your powerful, even fiery words, come at a good time for all of us. Spring is a time of renewal in nature and in our lives. In fact, as you write, every day is. This is a hub to read and reread like a mantra of motivation and banisher of those voices, reminders of mistakes like ghosts who settle around us.

      I am really glad that you and Joe (hawiianodysseus) are acquainted now too. He is an excellent writer and has such a great sense of humor.

    • bravewarrior profile image

      Shauna L Bowling 4 years ago from Central Florida

      Bill, I was fortunate to have been raised by a very loving, supportive family. My parents always told me I was pretty, smart and talented. To this day they tell me how proud they are of me - even before I became a writer. Now that I am, they are my biggest supporters.

      Despite all that, occasionally I doubt myself. I think that's human nature, especially when you embark on a new venture in life. That self-doubt is turned into fuel for me. I've always been a dare-devil. And I never let anything keep me down. I'm the only one capable of that and it's just not in my makeup; I'm too stubborn and rebellious to let anyone keep me down - especially me!

      I feel for those who were not supported growing up. It's hard to overcome that which has been embedded into your psyche. We can help change that by being supportive of all in whom we believe and see promise. Which, in my eyes, is everyone who lives and breathes!

      You're the best, my friend. I grow more fond of you as each day goes by. You have a heart of gold and arms that reach around the world.

      Lots of Love from the elbow of your arms (Florida),

      Sha

    • Crystal Tatum profile image

      Crystal Tatum 4 years ago from Georgia

      Wow Bill, this is your most powerful piece yet. I think you've it upon something most everyone can relate to; I know I can. I have struggled with self doubt and low self esteem since I was a child. For years I walked into any given room and thought everyone in there knew something I didn't, had something I didn't, was more worthy than I and I was a freak. The older I get, the more I see we're all freaks and normal is just a cycle on the washing machine. (I stole that, I think from Emmylou Harris.) It's our quirks and differences that make us unique, and therefore special. I think it helps to get out of your immediate circle of friends and family and get exposed to the bigger world. You realize there are all kinds of people and all kinds of different choices in life. I guess as long as you're operating in a way that is morally acceptable to you and your higher power, most everything comes down to personal choice based on who you are intrinsically. And why do people spend so much time condemning others for being different? Likely to gain self assurance. It's clear to me now that many adults are just overgrown children, still forming cliques to gossip about the ones who do things a different way, still reactng out of fear and a desire to fit in, waiting to pounce on anyone who acts in a way they don't understand or have been told is unacceptable. OK - is that a long enough rant for you. To sum up, job well done! Sharing this one.

    • Blond Logic profile image

      Mary Wickison 4 years ago from Brazil

      Well here I was thinking I was the only one like that!

      I love Eleanor Roosevelt's words, ' No one can make you feel inferior without your permission.'

      Why do we give people permission to pull us down? Often those so called, 'loved ones' are more like a ball and chain. Perhaps they are afraid, I don't know.

      I don't want to live a half life filled with regret. Go forth and conquer I say.

      One of your best Bill.

    • justateacher profile image

      LaDena Campbell 4 years ago from Somewhere Over The Rainbow - Near Oz...

      Bill...You have seen my thoughts and have read my mind...voting across and sharing...

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      MizB, thanks for sharing your personal experiences. I think a comment is so much more meaningful with a concrete example from real life. As for the writers here on HP, there are some, I assume, that are just writing for their own entertainment, sort of like a journal, and that is fine. There are others, though, who really need, as you say, who would be better well served doing a blog and enjoying Facebook. :)

      Thank you so much. Your comments are always so in-depth and meaningful and I appreciate that.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Freeze, thank you! I must have been raised correctly because I don't understand the word "quit." I wish I could bottle it and give it to some others so they can feel what I feel when obstacles come a'calling. :)

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Sally, that is music to this writer's ears. If I lifted you up then I have done my job as a writer. Thank you and I hope you have a wonderful weekend.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Manatita, thank you so much my friend. I hope things are well for you.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Randi, you definitely do not have a monopoly. I am constantly questioning myself and wondering if what I am doing is correct. It can be exhausting being me. LOL Thank you and have a great weekend.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      vkwok, thank you my friend. I will be by to see your new hub shortly.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Mike, like you I can pretty much ignore the people who are negative about me or my work. My biggest enemy has always been myself, buddy. It's so much better than it once was, but I still have work to do.....and I would imagine most people can say that.

      I value your friendship and you are a true mentor for me and a peer without equal.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Jim, I agree with you about Joe. What a great find. I have Liz to thank for our introduction. As for your comment, renewal indeed! We are constantly growing and adjusting....if we aren't we must be six feet under. :) Thanks my friend and I wish you a great weekend.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Sha, like you I had an incredibly supportive family. Still, after they were gone, I found I needed a support system. When I couldn't find it I drank. Now the booze is not my answer. The strength I always needed was always inside of me....I just had to find it again. :)

      Love you you my dear,

      bill

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Crystal, that was quite a rant. I think that's the longest comment by far that I have seen from you. Thank you so much. A cycle on a washing machine. Great quote and so very true. Thank you for talking about yourself openly. I firmly believe it helps others when they know they are not alone.

      Thank you my dear. I hope you are having a great weekend and I thank you for your friendship.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Blond, I may not be able to conquer but I for damn sure will give it a go. :) I don't know why we give people permission to pull us down, and I know it can be incredibly hard to stop that cycle, but it can be done. :) Thank you so much and I hope your weekend is a good one.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      LaDena, I suspect I have seen the thoughts of many....few of us have made it through life unscathed. It's a tough road we walk....but it does get better if we have the right support system.

    • aviannovice profile image

      Deb Hirt 4 years ago from Stillwater, OK

      Mental cruelty in any form begins with "you can't." Give me the reason "Why not"? You are right, though, it happens a lot, and when someone hears it constantly, they believe it. Even a strong person can eventually be beaten down. We all have self-doubts, and for those that have to hear it every day, you need a support system.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      You do indeed, Deb, and without one it is tough. Thank God I have always had one, and still, with one, I doubt myself on a regular basis. LOL Just keep moving forward, right?

    • cygnetbrown profile image

      Donna Brown 4 years ago from Alton, Missouri

      Hi Bill,

      I think that part of the reason we writers have self-esteem issues comes from the fact that we are always looking at the "what ifs". What ifs are often negative in origin, but these are crucial for our existence as writers. As we write, we trudge down the path we created and often find ourselves in territory where we have never been. That's when we begin to question ourselves. When we reach this point, we need to remind ourselves that it is at this point that we are in a position from which we can grow. It isn't easy, but it is necessary if we are to develop our talents as writers.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      SG, that is a very astute observation and one I happen to subscribe to...especially the part about growing from the experience. Thank you so much for weighing in with a great comment.

    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Fuller 4 years ago from Southern Illinois

      I used to buy into this philosophy, for years i was married to a man who belitted me, i was not a good cook, i was dead in bed, for years i believed him, then a light bulb flickered. I found that i am funny, i enjoy people, i still am not the best cook, but my chili ' ain't bad..Hee..I listened to your video and fully agree, we are good people, why didn't we see that before? Cheers my friend...

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      I don't know, Ruby, but I'm very happy we both figured it out when we did. We can now enjoy life as it was meant to be enjoyed.

      Thank you dear lady and have a wonderful Sunday.

    • rajan jolly profile image

      Rajan Singh Jolly 4 years ago from From Mumbai, presently in Jalandhar,INDIA.

      Bill, this is as motivating as it could be. I'm pretty sure all of us have our low moments; the moments of self doubts, and this hub is a great morale booster.

      Thanks for this vitalizing hub and I always leave energized from here.

      Voted all the way up, my friend.

    • phoenix2327 profile image

      Zulma Burgos-Dudgeon 4 years ago from United Kingdom

      Brilliant stuff. Sharing this message.

    • Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

      Gypsy Rose Lee 4 years ago from Riga, Latvia

      Voted up and awesome. I hear you, I'm listening and I got it Bill. Inspirational as always. Passing this on.

    • fpherj48 profile image

      Paula 4 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      Sorry...I'm still a bit groggy.....just woke up and I had the craziest dream...It was one of those upsetting kind of dreams. I had the strongest feelings of anxiety and worry. I couldn't stop being overwhelmed with fear and doubt......like, questioning my every thought and action...wondering if I was doing the right things, in the right way for the right reason.

      You can imagine the panic, in a woman, who has always had it together....moved to the beat of her own drum, held ass-kicking self assurance....made decisions and followed through with confidence.

      The "crazy" part, was this guy went into a phone booth and came charging out like Superman..only I noticed it said "Writerman," across his chest...oh yeah, by the way, the new Superman doesn't fly.....he's gone all techno now. He uses a computer and his words fly. Seriously, I'm not kidding you. Ingenious, don't you think, Clark? Makes a hell of a lot of sense when you're in the rescue business. What will they think of next?..........................UP++++

    • AliciaC profile image

      Linda Crampton 4 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

      This hub is very encouraging and inspiring, Bill! Thank you so much for such an important message.

    • Mhatter99 profile image

      Martin Kloess 4 years ago from San Francisco

      Thank you for this. Part of my illness makes my past come alive. Fortunately, most of my past was glorious. One thing that made my ideas so successful, was my ability to recrute people and getting them to focus on what they did best,

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 4 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      You have sent an energetic message across and I so enjoyed reading this Hub. An encouraging way of life.

    • pstraubie48 profile image

      Patricia Scott 4 years ago from sunny Florida

      Bill, good morning

      Inner voices can indeed be our greatest boon or our greatest downfall. Questioning ourselves and disbelief in our abilities can thwart success...lucky for me I have for the most part not been faced with self doubt.

      I guess I was so oblivious to the possibility that I might fail that I just forged ahead ....LOL. I didn't know that I didn't know!!!

      So glad you have taken the time to share this message of hope.

      Many Angels are on the way to you today :) ps

    • profile image

      Vickiw 4 years ago

      Hi Bill, this one really gives food for thought. It is another very powerful demonstration that early childhood development events do in fact last through life. You are successful, people tell you that every day of your life, but all these affirmations cannot heal the memories of how others spoke to you in your earliest days. HOPE LOTS OF PARENTS ARE READING THIS.

      On a brighter note, self esteem develops with the successes you achieve in life. When you are able to share your pain with others, that in itself is an achievement. Hopefully you will continue to achieve constantly, and the night voices will be muffled so much that you can disregard them in the background, as you move forward .

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Rajan, I have done my job as a writer if I leave you feeling better about yourself. Thank you for the kind words and I hope your Sunday was a wonderful day.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Phoenix! Is it Spring yet in the UK? :)

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Gypsy, message received and I am done for the day. Thank you my poetic friend.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Paula, a huge smile spreads over my face as I see your picture pop up. There is nothing supernatural about this writer, and I don't look good in blue tights. Still, it's lovely to think that my words might be helpful to someone.

      So happy to see you back my friend. Come back any old time. I'll leave the light on for you. :)

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Alicia, it is my pleasure. We all lift each other up from time to time.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Martin, I love that. We all have strengths, and for someone like you to bring those strengths out in people is a gift that keeps on giving. Thank you!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      DDE, I think we all need encouragement from time to time. I know I do. :) Thank you!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Good morning PS! I'm just happy I found my self-confidence. I looked all over for it and lo and behold, it was inside of me all along. :)

      Blessings and a hug coming your way from rainy Olympia.

      bill

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Vicki, thank you! Always moving forward. There is no retreat in this guy. For better or for worse, I'm always looking around the next curve in the road. That's where the exploration and excitement are, right around the next turn.

    • grandmapearl profile image

      Connie Smith 4 years ago from Southern Tier New York State

      Billy, what a profound and moving message! This is my favorite of your amazing thoughts so far: "You are ten-thousand pounds of unleashed potential being held back by the weight of a thought."

      I'm going to paste that to my forehead! Seriously. Thank you once again for making things so 'crystal clear'. Excellent, my friend!

      ;) Pearl

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Pearl, I love it when one of my lines affects someone. It makes me feel good about my craft. Thank you for giving my work validity. Have a great day in NY! We are off to buy chickens. :)

    • farmloft profile image

      farmloft 4 years ago from Michigan

      Buying chickens - must be springtime! We appreciate spring after a rough winter, don't we?

      Great hub - thanks for pointing out a secret so many people feel alone with! Hope it helps someone else to find their inside strength, too.

    • Curiad profile image

      Mark G Weller 4 years ago from Lake Charles, LA.

      "Cast off your damn chains and start living life."

      I love this statement. It is so simple and yet so hard for most to do. But I have always said the same, Just do it!

      Mark

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      farmloft, the chickens are now here in their new home...we will move them outside in a month. Love watching them for some reason. Some basic, internal need to have animals around. I really do need to live on a farm. :) Thank you my friend.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Mark, excuses are cheap, as you well know. Despite the odds you keep showing the way for those who may be struggling. Keep walking your talk, buddy. You inspire me.

    • robinlbach profile image

      robinlbach 4 years ago

      Truly an inspirational hub. I always try to remind myself.. If you never try.. you fail 100% of the time. I am my own worst enemy sometimes.. Thank you for reminding me just how important it is to just try.. without having the courage to just try.. we're just stuck!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Robin, I need reminders too. Thank you for visiting me and best of luck to you as you work your writing craft.

    • fpherj48 profile image

      Paula 4 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      Oh God, bill.....please, ALL THE LIGHTS.....and don't leave anything in the middle of the room. I've been known to trip over my own feet! The hugest family joke at one time was....whenever there was an incredible sound of CRASH, BANG, CLANG BOOM.....My Dad would calmly say, "OK, Paula's home." LOL!

      (You needn't wear blue tights......red is OK)

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      LOL...Paula, I promise to have the floodlights on and every light in the house. :) Don't tell her I said so, but Bev is the same way. LOL

    • bravewarrior profile image

      Shauna L Bowling 4 years ago from Central Florida

      Bill, I'm fortunate to still have my family with me. I will probably be a basket case when I can no longer say that. Pray I don't fall deeper into my 'friend' when that happens.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Sha, I will pray for no such thing. I'm always here.

    • phoenix2327 profile image

      Zulma Burgos-Dudgeon 4 years ago from United Kingdom

      Not wishing to tempt fate, Bill, but I do believe Spring has finally landed. I seeing more lambs in the fields and that's a sure of Spring and we're looking at high temps from the high 40s to the low 50s this week. I took advantage of the sun yesterday to clean up the backyard, plant some chilli peppers, parsley and basil, and transplant the strawberries into a larger container. My reward was a visit from a beautiful butterfly, :) There's still loads more to do and I'm looking forward to it.

      You've got chickens?! I want chickens. They're such quirky creatures with engaging personalities. My husband says no and, actually, I don't know if I'm even allowed to keep them. I live in a village surrounded by farmers' fields but the neighbourhood is designated residential so I don't know. Plus there's the problem of free roaming cats. I guess I'll have to wait for the East of England show and visit the chickens there.

      Do have a lovely day, won't you, Mr. Bill.

    • Lisawilliamsj profile image

      Lisa Williams 4 years ago

      This is my new favorite article! don't know how you do it, but you always say what I need to hear! This is well witten and beautiful!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Phoenix, we do indeed have chickens. If we had more property we would have goats, too. During another lifetime I had a lot of farm animals, but since moving to the city I am severely limited. I like taking care of the critters and watching them grow, and interacting with them. One of life's little pleasures.

      You were busy planting. We will plant next weekend. The rains stopped us this weekend.

      Have a wonderful week my friend.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Lisa, thank you very much. I think the feelings I have are shared by many. We really are quite the same in many ways.

    • MizBejabbers profile image

      MizBejabbers 4 years ago

      I meant to say "I was respected BY my male colleagues." I left out the "by". Of course I respected them. (I was horrified when I saw that ommission. Maybe I should stick to Facebook and Twitter.)

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      MizB....LOL... I understood what you meant. Too funny my friend.

    • drbj profile image

      drbj and sherry 4 years ago from south Florida

      Your realistic assessment of the subject, Bill, should be very helpful to any reader who has now or has ever had issues with self confidence and self esteem. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. Everyone of us is good enough - we just have to believe in ourselves.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      drbj, I believe that as well my friend. Too many good writers have given up because of those inner voices. It is a shame when that happens and if this little pep talk keeps one person from quitting then I will be a happy writer.

      Thank you my friend.

    • CrisSp profile image

      CrisSp 4 years ago from Sky Is The Limit Adventure

      I admit, this is where I run to when I am running low of energy and needing some inspirations--to billybuc and then, of course there are some more who made it to the list. However, for now I am here...listening to every word this teacher is saying.

      Thank you for all the wonderful hubs. I'm always behind on my reading these days (excuse me please) but so glad we have connected. Certainly bookmarking and sharing.

      Love from the sky~

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Cris, you are a single parent who works full time and travels constantly....of course you are running low on energy. I'm glad I can be here to give you a boost, and thank you so much for thinking of me when you need one.

      Love and blessings coming your way

      bill

    • Suzie HQ profile image

      Suzanne Ridgeway 4 years ago from Dublin, Ireland

      Hi Bill,

      Late to the party again! Just can't keep up with you my friend! This is an inspired piece Bill you have written, you really know us all so well. Self doubt and lack of confidence is something most of us know at one point or another and I too join this this group. I have always been told by family to take a compliment as I always seem uncomfortable in doing so. I have had to face some pretty daunting things where I have had to have a strong belief in myself and my abilities and then after, the doubts creep back. Oh you know these feelings so well my friend, great job!

    • mr-veg profile image

      mr-veg 4 years ago from Colorado United States

      @Bill Nice booster you got out here !! You always carve out a gem with your magical words !! Those inner voices are so tough to get through sometimes, low esteem does no good :( .... Thanks for sharing such a nice article. I need to slowly learn to delve into a cast as good as yours :)

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Suzie, I do indeed. I am as strong a person as you would want to meet, but the voices do creep in. The only solution I know is to keep moving forward no matter what. I refuse to take a step back, and that has cost me at times, but at least this way I know which direction I am headed....always forward. :)

      Thank you Irish! I appreciate you more than you know.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      mr-veg, it can be tough. Most writers work by themselves and we only have our minds to communicate with. That can be a risky conversation at times. :) Thank you my friend and best wishes to you.

    • profile image

      Alise- Evon 4 years ago

      What a picture you paint, Bill! In my mind at the moment is the image of an overcomer. And that is one main thing it takes to change- a new image of oneself. "As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he;" but in Hebrew, thoughts are directly tied in to images. Thanks, Bill! You put courage in a person's heart.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Alise, thank you! My goal is to empower people and encourage them to reach for the stars. If I have done that then I am a happy writer. :)

    • CrisSp profile image

      CrisSp 4 years ago from Sky Is The Limit Adventure

      Bill, thank you for the love and blessings. However, I am not a single parent. Lol! Remember this hub? https://hubpages.com/relationships/Until-debt-I-me...

      It's been over a year and it certainly needs some update soon, as I look forward to celebrating our 25th year this summer.

      You made me chuckle! But, don't worry about it, we are allowed to make mistakes. Trust me, I just made a big blunder on hawaiianodyseeus by calling him a different name not Joe. Lol!

      Love and blessings back to you!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Wow, Cris...I have way too much to keep track of. I'm sorry for the lapse in intelligence. LOL At least I can blame it on advancing years. Every once in awhile my age comes in handy. :)

    • CrisSp profile image

      CrisSp 4 years ago from Sky Is The Limit Adventure

      Oh no, don't be sorry Bill...absolutely, no problem. I'd like to be single at times, anyway. Lol! Have a good night to you and Bev.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Cris, you are a kick! Thank you for being understanding of this old man. :)

    • lrc7815 profile image

      Linda Crist 4 years ago from Central Virginia

      The voices, ah yes, the voices. Mine love the daylight and are silent at night, thankfully. I sleep like a grizzly in winter but question myself during the daylight hours. I think it's natural. Bill, this was a powerful message and presented artfully. I do question if we all come here on the same level playing field though. I am a believer that we are exposed to verbal messaging while we are developing. Father's that talk to their children lovingly while being carried in the womb have demonstrated a tighter bond with Dad than those who did not get the same experience. Others are born addicted to whatever substances Mom abused during the pregnancy. Children of unwanted pregnancies seem to know it from birth. For these reasons, we do what we do - try to create a better future for ALL. Another beautiful work from my kindred spirit. Keep doing what you do because it is making a difference. Hugs!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Kindred, thanks for that insight, one I hadn't thought of. Not much can be done about the addictive properties while in the womb....and that definitely slants the playing field.

      I just keep tossing out the message my friend. A bit mellower than before but the same message nonetheless....we are all in this together and the sooner we realize that the sooner we will develop in a positive manner as a society.

      hugs and love back atcha

    • Glimmer Twin Fan profile image

      Glimmer Twin Fan 4 years ago

      You ought to be a motivational speaker Bill. You have the public speaking experience and you certainly know how to inspire. Needed this hub right about now. Thanks

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Glimmer, I would like to meet the person who does not hear those inner voices of doubt. :) Thank you for the kind words. Maybe someday, yes?

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image

      Cat 4 years ago from New York

      Oh Billy, this is beautiful! I was afraid and thought I should stay away, because I already recognize my inner demons... I just don't know how to shut them up! :-)

      I can't believe you have those thoughts... even you? Your writing speaks in confidence... I know, that's part of being a good writer, which you truly are. I think as kids we don't recognize what it is that may be damaging to us in the future, but then as an adult, it hits us like a ton of bricks. One thing I've vowed to work on is seeing a better image of myself. Living in fear is no way to live, fearing being accepted, fearing rejection, disappointment, these are daily reminders for me... I just need to learn to recognize them and appreciate them but not hide because of them. This is very inspiring Billy... thank you, it's always nice to hear another's humble words!

      Cat

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Cat, I'll tell you a secret....I have serious concerns about anyone who says they don't have inner demons. I think mankind is an insecure race of creatures....our very nature is one of doubts and insecurities. It's how we deal with them that makes all the difference.

      I had to come to terms with mine so that I could enjoy life rather than constantly worrying....it was a long, tough road, but I'm pretty confident you can travel it as well and have a happy ending. :)

      Thank you for sharing that personal reflection.

      bill

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image

      Cat 4 years ago from New York

      Billy,

      Haha, sorry, I guess I could've picked a better word than demons... it's been a long day and I had to cover my garden up tonight, as it snowed in New York today... I'm tired and maybe a little loopy :-) VOICES, that's what I meant VOICES :-)

      Is it any wonder why mankind is an insecure race? Billy, between you and me, I have learned to accept the flaws of others, but I know not everyone lives by that same concept and so I feel I'm always up to criticism. Criticism is okay, when it's constructive, but it doesn't always come in that way.

      You're right... I am trying to find the balance between caring, and not caring too much. I want to enjoy life too! :-)

      Thanks Billy, I appreicate it, it means a lot.

      Voices, I meant voices!

      Cat

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Cat, actually, when I first wrote this, I used the word "demons" instead of inner voices....because that's what they are on certain days. Thanks for clarifying.....I love your sense of humor.

      bill

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image

      Cat 4 years ago from New York

      Thanks for not being afrain of me :-)

      The voices in my head today are telling me to say hi to my neighbors! :-)

      Thanks Billy,

      Cat

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Cat...afraid of you? I think not my friend. Thank you for being you.

      bill

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image

      Cat 4 years ago from New York

      Aw, golly gee Billy, no one's ever said that to me before, Thanks! :-)

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Cat??? golly gee??? My goodness you are eloquent. LOL You are welcome!

    Click to Rate This Article