Bipolar-Normal Is Just A Point Of View
Normal Is Just A Point Of View
I have noticed when I am manic some ’people‘ are not all that thrilled about my happiness. They don’t like that I don’t give much thought to what I say when I start off on a manic ramble. Or to be more specific, I talk a lot more when I am manic. By this I mean I tend to say what I feel more often than not. I don’t hold back as much, like I normally would. I shoot off my mouth, pick arguments and am always right. This seems to aggravate many people, especially the one's I am closest to.
They think I am exaggerating. That the things I talk about are never accurate, because when I am manic I am somehow less passive and they DO NOT like it when I am assertive. Or when I talk about things they like keeping under the rug. I hate the word exaggerating. They accuse me of stretching the truth. Especially if they are the ones I am ranting about. They just don’t want to face the fact they are not perfect. And I am not always the passive little mouse I pretend to be because I don’t want to hurt their feelings. Mania has a strange way of creating to much tension and a unrealistic way of thinking. I am not saying I am right or even that I am wrong. Or that I am lying, I am just extremely animated in my thoughts when I am in a manic phase.
Then on the other hand. They think I am overly sensitive, they think I am extraordinarily emotional, they think I am too kind, they think I am peculiar, they think I am just having a bad day. I get the impression they would prefer me to be quiet and self-effacing like I usually am. I am really just a huge neurotic worrywart. They prefer passivity over the happy, elevated lunatic ready for the adventure of a lifetime persona.
It is disconcerting to find out they really dislike that part of my personality. It hurts my feelings, because I want to think my friends and family would prefer happy over passive and dispassion. . A mood swing has a mind of it's own. If I could make them happy with a perfect mood, than I would, but sadly I cannot.
Always in a mood
It seems to me, I am always something or someone they don't like. "Always in a mood," they often say. Well the truth is, that's bipolar up close and personal. I do my best to maintain my mood swings, but they creep up and can ruin my day, week, or even months. It isn't always a joy being me. But it is me, whether taking medications or not taking medications, whether up or down, it is me. That is bipolar. That is my life. That is who I am. Period. That is how I live my life with bipolar disorder.
So I often ask myself how do I make the people around me happy? The simple answer is I don't. You just be what you are and try to improve upon that hoping they will understand you are what you are and what they feel cannot be a reflection on your mood or you will forever be trying to change something about yourself that can never be changed.
I would do anything to make them happy for who I am. But oftentimes whatever mood I am in it isn't the mood they prefer me to be in, it can't be wrong because it is who I am. Period and everlasting. If I am sad, that upsets them, if I am happy that more often than not worries them, if I am in a so-called normal state of in between moods, than they just worry when the next episode is coming, so no winning is the only way to play the game of bipolar.
Bipolar and Mental Illness
- Lithium For Bipolar Disorder 1- My Experience
I wrote this little piece awhile back when I was giving the wonder drug Lithium another try. As it turns out it is a great drug for bipolar, but the other side is well different. - Living With Bipolar Disorder-Tips To Manage Symptoms
Helpful advice to help you manage bipolar symptoms. These tips can be extremely useful if you are struggling with bipolar disorder. - You Have Bipolar Disorder - Mental Illness Is Nothin...
What exactly is bipolar disorder anyway? What used to be called manic depression is now called bipolar disorder. It is a mood disorder, a chemical imbalance of the brain, often times a very severe mental illness. You can go from one mood extreme to.. - Empath or BiPolar? How to Tell
Wondering if you're BiPolar or an Empath? This article may help.
Look deeper, you might find somebody you like
Things I can do to make it easier on you:
- I can explain that I cannot always predict when a mood is coming
- I can give you as much knowledge about bipolar as I know
- I can listen more intently to your concerns
- I can continue to take my meds and manage my illness with your help
- I can let you know what I am going through and give you space to grasp it
- I can find ways for you to understand I don't always hear your concern
- I can enjoy doing things together
- I can express in writing to help you gain insight
Things you can do to make it easier on me:
- You can limit nagging and criticizing
- You can let me be alone if I need that
- Don't act like I am just trying to get attention, I am not
- You can be patient when things go array
- Know that a few kind words of understanding go a long way
- You can offer to do an activity together
- You can just listen without commenting, or judging
Bipolar disorder is not easy on anyone, not the person who has it, or the people they interact with. Both can learn and understand each other if the lines of communication are left open and used to the fullest of their ability. Fighting against a current will never benefit either person, be kind, open and honest. only then is it possible for relationships to bloom with a healthy dose of love and compassion.
Who doesn't want to be normal?
Comments
Interesting and educational. Good you added those things which we can do to help. I know little about the condition. No easy solution. Keep on keeping on. Loving thoughts.
Very interesting and helpful about how one can notice mental illness voted up and useful.
Mental Illness-How Do You See It? is an informative and well researched hub, certainly a welcomed health information
Lots of good information. Bipolar is hard to understand sometimes. You have explained a lot and it will be helpful to many people. We have bipolar in our family....Voted Up
My dad, when he was alive was a schizophrenic, and so many people judged him and spoke about him like he was a mentally healthy person, but he was far from it. Even I have to admit that there were times when my patience with him was worn thin, but he was my dad, and I loved him regardless. People just need to be educated about mental illnesses in order to be more patient and compassionate, and these hub helps with that. Thank you for sharing.
Hi,
I'm not so sure if I want to republish the old ones. I guess I'll wait till I feel 'right'
about it.
Thanks for appreciating them!
Take care
Hi pal,
I just wanted to comment immediately on what came to mind right away:
If you go to therapy or group therapy, you can learn to be assertive most of the time which may help you. I know we are all different, but I learned to stick up for my self over the years. And you're right, be who you want to be, or what makes you happy, and leave the rest, stay away from haters,negative or unsupportive people or so called friends.
By the way I unpulbished (but still have all of them) my hubs on bipolar. Only one is published now. I want to move forward but I'm afraid I'm running away from the truth, or maybe since I'm better, I don't feel the need for the old hubs and want to write better and newer ones.
But I'm glad people are learning from your perspective, I always thought it was important to communicate esp on this side of the coin about an "invisible illness..." that people can't see and can't understand unless they try and even then not completey. that's why they are hiring tons of peer specialists now.
Good to see you hubbing again on this.
x0
That is really sad that someone would berate and use name calling. There are so many myths out there about "mental illness" and it is so frustrating. I wrote a hub called "Chemical Not Crazy" to dispel the myth that just because someone is diagnosed with a mental health condition does not mean they are crazy, etc. There is a chemical imbalance at work just as if that same person had diabetes requiring insulin or a thyroid condition requiring synthroid or another medication to regulate the condition. It is a physiological condition that can be corrected just like any number of other conditions, but many people are so turned off due to the myths that they don't take the time to learn.
My daughter was recently diagnosed with bipolar. She said that it really helped to know what it was that was happening. She feels a lot better about herself now. Thanks for writing this hub and helping me understand what she is experiencing.
I can relate to the trials you are experiencing. Mental disorders take a toll on everyone concerned. It is easier for my family to pretend I do not exist than it is to own their part in my disorder, PTSD.
The truth is there, but for many it is hard to grasp. And for most family members it is not easy to take responsibility or feel overly responsible, depending on the infliction one has acquired.
Bless you.
Thank you for enlightening us about this condition. It is not very easy to have it and your hub has presented it in such a way that would be very understandable, especially for a lot of people who have no idea what this illness is about.
Thanks for posting and for your honesty. As a therapist, it's always helpful to hear true feelings so I can better work with patients. Following you now.
Really interesting article! I really like the 'things I can do for you' and 'things you can do for me' sections.
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