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How to Help Someone Lose Weight

Updated on November 3, 2013

It's all about attitude

Otherwise happily married couples admit that weight gain affects their marriages either from lack of self-esteem or waning interest in both partners. If your spouse has a weight problem, here's how you can help.

What doesn't work

Threats. Threatening to leave is not a good motivator as it only makes the spouse fearful which can cause overeating as a way to soothe the anxiety.

Ridicule and scorn. Guilting a person into losing weight never works as resentment overshadows any shame. In fact, this often leads to passive-aggressive retaliation most often in the form of closet eating.

Withdrawing or showing disappointment. Rejection is yet another negative feedback that makes her feel bad about herself and thus continue the cycle of overeating.

Policing her diet and forcing her to exercise. Removing her free will causes her to rebel.

What works

Unconditional love. Showing your mate that your love is not something that will be withdrawn so easily bolsters her self-esteem which gives her incentive to manage the issues that cause weight gain. Her love and appreciation for your are powerful motivators, too.

Being supportive. Those unspoken acts have the most impact. Going on a bike ride or for a long walk without the nagging or pushing to go farther or faster than she is capable of. Refusing to eat high calorie food in front of her to avoid tempting her. Offering praise and encouragement for her efforts.

Make this about health first and foremost. If you genuinely care for your spouse, the weight gain is a health concern and not merely an attraction issue. As a devoted mate, you should be able to see beyond exterior or surface appearances since you of all people know the man or woman inside the body. That is what real love is.

To become disgusted with your mate's personal appearance shows a little shallowness on your part. It's one thing to become alarmed over sincere concern or distress but another to be repulsed physically. While men are said to be visually stimulated by the outer effects of beauty for sexual attraction, they'd better not show any revulsion towards their mates over any weight issues or the rejection will only exacerbate the emotional issues that cause the weight gain in the first place.

Just 12 easy steps

I've found simple steps to help my husband change his habits painlessly that are outline in the title, "How to help your spouse lose weight and get healthy in 12 easy steps!" Only .99 cents on Kindle and $4.95 on Amazon.


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      Dilkhaz 3 years ago

      Hello! Thanks for this useful video. By the way, I nocite lots of people keep on talking about Kinovelax Diet Plan (do a search on google), but I'm not sure if it's good. Have you considered Kinovelax Diet Plan? I have heard many incredible things about it and my cousin lost crazy amounts of weight with it, but she refuses to tell me :(

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      Lucas 3 years ago

      Again this is all palaver. Proteins are used by ALL cells to rueibld the cell, in the event there isnt enough then the body will break down muscle. Muscle only shrinks (atrophy) from lack of exercise. You need 1-1.5 grams of protein per lean weight per day, thats 100 grams at most for all of you per day. Anything less and your muscles will simply shrink, and your metabolism will decrease. You do not NEED carbohydrates AT ALL, your brain can use ketones just fine.

    • Lori P. profile image

      Lori Phillips 4 years ago from Southern California USA

      I agree. A true love loves the real person and not the packaging.

    • soconfident profile image

      Derrick Bennett 4 years ago

      Right if their mate weight gain is a health issue then it would be OK to try to get them to change, but if its an attraction issue you really need to get over it.