- Mental Health
Work stress drives me crazy...
...i need to breathe
There are times when i hate living this life when i have to get up at 6 and prepare myself to work. Been living most of my life working since i finished from college in 1988 and had it not been for my family i think i wouldn't want to survive all these years of struggles, stress and pain in my lifestory.
I worked for a supposedly multi-national company that runs with etiquette, company procedures and standards observed well all over the other regions except where i am. Call it fate or simply bad luck. Been struggling for four years trying to get along with a condensed management team of 8 people whereby, my part represents doing 4-parts of the whole, not to add the "dossiers" of uncalled for lazy, unreasonable and stupid demands, complaints and "ungrateful" comments quite often. You do a good job, nobody even says "thank you"...you miss completing a job out of 100 task you have just done and u get all the "barkings" that bite the flesh and heart out of you and all you can do is cry.
I used to come in the morning filled with hope for a better day, love for what i do, and prayers for "demons" around to stay off from me...at least for the day. i know its not good to complain, but sometimes it just drains me and i bleed from angst...pain, hatred...and i cant help but curse in a way, and i know it is wrong but i am only human.
There are days i wish i haven't changed from my old job. i was working just the same hours, but at least i only have to do what i am supposed to do based on my job description. I've been working as an exec. secretary and i believe i have only one boss who must give me orders...but not like the same i am into now where i have to perform half of the job titles of your whole organizational chart, more so...with very complicated, unreasonable, demanding "b" & (some) colleagues like mine ;'(
I know i am a multi-tasker, i know i'm adaptable, easy to learn...organized...accomplishes jobs on time like a superhero, but i am only ONE :( i have two hands, ten fingers, ears to listen and take calls, a mouth to speak and give replies...and a terminally distorted, stressed & worn out brain).
But i am a person, i have a heart...i don't need to be sick with severe hypertension again because of stress from insensible and ungrateful people around and let my health deteriorate and sadden my family. i don't mind working long hours, type a lot of letters to the embassies, certificates, emails, summaries, collate reports and payrolls, summon maintenance here or there, locate people, get the files, scan the files, answer phone calls, do bookings, changing bookings every now and then...cover truths and speak some lies sometimes (as instructed), stay still and do everything when almost half of the staff are enjoying taking their vacation or emergency leaves...with no replacements and enjoying their perks.
As one famous commercial says "Yes, You can!!!" well...I know i can!!! I CAN DO ALL THINGS, but PLEASE...don't STRESS ME MORE AND MORE with countless blames & ingratitude saying..."you're not doing your job well" because if so, TERMINATE ME please, as i don't need more STRESSSSSSS!!!