ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

The Bucket List of a Middle Aged Woman

Updated on February 19, 2015

Are your buckets full or waiting to be filled?


First, let me tell you that I don’t expect you to agree with everything I am about to say. Some will agree but others will think I’m either crazy or have a death wish. I’ll concede that I may have a slight touch of crazy but I absolutely do not have a death wish. I just do not wish to live long enough to become a burden on those I love so dearly. Nature has a way of culling the sick or weak from a herd. It is only humans that fear death or are too selfish to let go. The result is that millions of families are being torn apart from the emotional and financial burden of caring for the elderly. I don’t want to be that burden on my family. My bucket list does not include living to be 100. I’m satisfied with what I’ve had and if I can’t take care of myself, then I am ready to go,

Social and Moral Responsibility

That’s a strange heading for an article on the bucket list of a middle aged woman, I know. As a baby boomer (born in the 50’s) I have personal knowledge of the impact of disease on our society. My Dad has late stage Alzheimer’s disease and can no longer care for himself. He lives in the locked unit of an assisted living facility because he wanders. He rarely knows who I am when I visit although I still seem familiar. My Mom lives in a different unit of the same facility. She experienced a stroke many years ago and has some residual mobility issues. Both Mom and Dad are in their mid 80’s. The cost of assisted living is staggering.

It is our social and moral responsibility to care for the elderly. According to, the following represents the projected change in people needing long term care.

Further discussion of our social and moral responsibility is critical and will be covered in a future article but it is important to realize that as the population ages, our responsibilities increase and require an investment of our time and our money. It is the very least we can do for those who have done the same for us as children.

Quantity vs !uality

My parents worked hard all their life and were frugal. They knew the value of a dollar and their bucket list was simple. All they wanted was to give their children a good life and…to leave them a little money when they died. It was a simple goal for simple people. They accomplished the first part of their bucket list. My brother and I had a wonderful childhood and we are grateful. The remaining item on their bucket list, to leave their children money, is questionable. At the current rate of elder care, we will be lucky if the money they saved will last as long as they do. The facility we chose for them will not accept Medicaid and Medicare does not pay for long term care. We chose the facility for the quality of care but if the money runs out, we will be forced to move them to a facility that will accept Medicaid. We will be forced to sacrifice quality for quantity. It is an adult child's nightmare.

Finally, we come to the bucket list of a middle aged woman

Everything you’ve read here has influenced the recent revision of this middle aged woman’s bucket list. The older I get, the shorter the list gets. It isn’t that I’m working so diligently to accomplish all the things on the previous list. It’s simply that as I age my priorities have changed. The things that matter to me the most can’t be purchased, they can’t be displayed on a shelf and I can’t wear them to a party. I don’t have to pinch pennies for them and they don’t appear on my calendar. They are moments in time, places of the heart, and hope for the future. So, let’s look at the list of things that I hope to experience before my time on this earth is over.

  • I want to tell my Dad I love him one more time and have him know it is me.
  • I want my Mom to know, really know, how much like her I have become and how proud that makes me.
  • I want my brother to know how proud I am of the man he has become.
  • I want my sister-in-law to know how special she is and that I know she was the perfect one for my brother.
  • I want my niece to know how precious she is to me and that I will always have her back.
  • I want my friends to know how I treasure the memories we’ve made together.
  • I want to sit in the woods and hear the wind song in the trees.
  • I want to stand in the rain without worrying about my clothes or hair.
  • I want to sit by a creek and squish mud through my toes.
  • I want to lie in the hay, high in the loft of a barn and lose myself in daydreams.
  • I want to wake one morning to only good news; no wars, no killing, no racism

On the Light Side

What Reallly Matters

As you can see, my list is fairly short for someone who has lived nearly six decades and never done really amazing things. I’ve never jumped from an airplane with a parachute nor done a walk-about in the beautiful land of Australia. I’ve never climbed Mt. Everest or spent a week on a cruise ship. In my youth, I thought those things were important. They aren’t anymore. Looking back, the amazing things I didn’t do made room and time for the amazing things I did do. The bucket list for this middle aged woman is short but the individual items are simple. They don’t require money or travel. I don’t need anything but desire to accomplish them. I still have time because I still have today and, I have hope. The last item on my list may seem foolish but even that can be done. I won’t turn on the television.

The truth is, I want to live a long time. I have new friends to meet, old ones to spend time with, and many more memories to make. Finding contentment with your life is a gift, It's there for the taking. All the material things in the world are temporary. You can't take them with you. What really matters are the people we love, the relationships we build, and the memories we make. Do those things well and it doesn't matter whether you live to be 40 or 140. Check your bucket list. It might be time for a revision.

© 2014 Linda Crist


This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

Show Details
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)