The Lost Art of Taking Responsibility For Our Actions

I am by no means perfect but to be honest there have been plenty of times in my life that I took responsibility for things or apologized for things I played little no absolutely no role in just to keep the peace. I don't know how Lance Armstrong sleeps at night knowing he ruined the lives of many people who tried to bring the truth to light.

God was testing me once again.After reading your hub I went off to work and wouldn't you know I told someone knew something wrong and I had to correct it immediately.It was a tough situation and for a quick second I thought I can deny ever saying that.Then I realized how foolish I was even thinking that.I went back changed my mistake and no harm done now I had to tell someone knew that I was wrong.So I swallowed my pride and said you were better off without my help.He could care less and all was forgotten.That was easy and now we both know the right way from learning the wrong way from me.

I know well how "less than perfect" I am. I just appreciate my hubby putting up with me all these years. At times I am embarassed at how I acted in the past, but we learn from our mistakes and mature in our actions and responsbility (most of us anyways!).

It is so refreshing to hear the way you say we don't take responsibility for our actions all the time.So true I can remember many times but what I remember most is the outcome.It was only postponed and it happened any way.I had no control and the aggrivation and work that it took was so much harder.So I have learned to take the easy way and say as fast as I can I messed up.I can't believe I did it.Imagine what I was thinking.Each way I can accept the blame but I make it less dramatic and kind of comical.My recent example someone thought they knew someone and I swore up and down it couldn't be that person.Then realizing it was the same person.I had to come clean.I said you were right all along and I don't know what I was thinking.As soon as I seen that person again.It might seem like a little thing but little things lead to big things.I nip it in the bud like my father use to say.Now I can laugh and move on oh well.As for your explanation about how we can't control things.I found in my work I often want people to do it my way.Thiniking it was better .I had proof why it was better.They still thought their way was better. Now as long as it doesn't hurt me why do I care.I have bigger fish to fry.Have a great day and I appreciate your one on one video so much.

Lance Armstrong used to be my favorite one. I used to venerate him during my teenage. I felt sad when the truth was uncovered.

It takes lots of guts to admit to the mistake. Only a few can do it. And I can't stand next to a person who behaves like a perfectionist and gloats around with an aura of what you mentioned- little man's syndrome.

Pointing fingers to others always boomerangs. Personally,these days, whenever I criticize anyone, I just evaluate to check whether the same criticism applies to me as well.

The way you strike the right chords through your hubs, is simply amazing, Bill. Have a great week ahead! :-)

Lance Armstrong (et al.) didn't say he was wrong because he didn't believe he was wrong. He lives to feed his ego, and unfortunately portrayed himself as some kind of role model at the same time. I remember years ago when he stood by his children and said that he was retiring for them. There was no way he would return to the sport because they asked him not to. The fact that he went back to the sport anyway is disturbing. A man of his word, he is not. Not to his children, and certainly not to the public. A good teaching point for the kids--millions of dollars can never buy integrity. Anyway, cabin fever makes me ramble. That and your thought-provoking hubs. Have a great Monday :)

Thought provoking hub as always bb. It baffles me why these three words are so difficult to say. I too watched the Lance Armstrong interview and longed for him to look directly into the camera and say "I lied, I was wrong, I hurt people and I am sorry." That just didn't happen. It's a shame, it would have been a step on the road to redemption. I wanted to believe he was a good person, now i don't. As I raise my girls I have attempted to teach them that we are all guilty of making bad choices and that the first step in sorting things out is admitting guilt. It's a daily struggle. Is it human nature or learned from a society that condones this behaviour?

Bill, oh how true, especially about children, it's something I can relate too, having three little ones who try to make up stories to cover up what they have done wrong :) Thanks friend, good hub!

Gosh how I have missed your hubs. :)

Poor Lance. A victim of being an incomprehensible ass. I'm not about to start tossing any pebbles because I make a ton of mistakes but I'm not a world-class athlete, I don't train my body for a living or have major sponsors and campaigns and I definitely don't have Mathew Mcconaughey on speed dial. I love your message. Simple, concise and poignant. Hope you are doing well. -K

Yeesh you hit a nerve! I have a terrible time at saying sorry. Oh I force myself to say it when my conscience gets the better of me, but it usually feels fake and more like lip service. I'm trying to fake it until I become it, but that hasn't happened yet. I keep trying :)

They should never have let nuns anywhere near kids at that stage of their schooling. I don't know if they still do (I went to state school, CofE), but I've heard they can be right sadistic little turnips when their gander's up - changing people's characters the wrong way seems to be their stock in trade, and they'll tell you they're answerable to 'the Lord' and the bishop. Easy way out of an argument on ethics.

Wasn't it JFK who coined the phrase 'The buck stops here"? (Didn't he have it embossed on a brass plate and screwed/inlaid into the Prez's desk in the Oval Office).

Here's a new one for you: 'The billybuc stops here'. Enjoyed the discourse - lots of comments (some misguided). I cut my 'lying teeth' on an interrogator I considered worthy of the Gestapo. A bit heavy-handed at times, Ma meant well but her background was worlds away from mine.

such truth in your words & thought-provoking. I can think of one situation where I feel helpless & it's out of my control. I just wish I could help, but I can't because the person is so stubborn and is not willing to see options with regards to their health, but like you said, it's out of my control, but at the same time you care about what happens to them, but you can't help someone who doesn't want your help and and wants to do things their way. It's tough. similar situation you have with your best friend. As far as people not being able to say those 3 words, I think a lot of it has to do with ego and also because for many people owning up to their mistakes is a sign of weakness. voted up!

It is and maybe will remain a part of our life but it would certainly make things better if we had the gumption to say these three words. These three words seem to be the most difficult to say, Bill.

Voted up.

That was well said. None of us is perfect, nor will we ever be.

How true, Bill. It's hard enough to say "I was wrong" but it's even harder to keep from following that up with a "but". It takes humility to apologize, and being humble is a very uncomfortable position for us humans.

"Oh lord its hard to be humble,

When you're perfect in every way" -Mac Davis-

I know the day that I stopped lying as a kid. I lied my neighbor whom I thought the world of and he knew it too, he just looked at me with a look I will never forget and walked away. I still hurt when I think about that. Thanks for the hub my friend.

From your pen to our leader's eyes. You're right and I see it every day. If totally honest, I have to admit having done it myself. No one likes to be wrong, but it takes a lot more courage to stand up and admit to it, to learn from it than to wallow in the "but." I suspect this trend is becoming conditioned into us, especially our youth. That doesn't bode well for the future.

Thank you. Yet again, you have given me food for thought by calling out a behavior so prevalent I think we often take it as a matter of course.

As my parents always told me, and I have found to be pretty much right all the time, the more someone denies something, the bigger the chance is that they did something they should not have. Great hub. I have a hunch all the political correctness and fear of lawsuits may have something to do with it although this has been happening since the beginning of time. I always have more respect for someone who owns their mistakes.

The world needs more examples of wrong. That people take accountability for themselves. The Catholics and Anglicans have a portion of their church litany that goes something like this: If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. It comes out of 1 John.

I have to repeat it daily. Trying to be right all the time is boring.

Sigh...'little man syndrone' is alive and well, dear friend - as is 'little woman syndrome'...

this is amazingly timely, Bill - as just the other day i was having a conversation with my son where i was saying how much i ENJOY saying i'm sorry..(i was wrong)..

I realize this is a lot to ask of the general public, but - i look at apologizing as a chance to...grow AND be humbled at the same time...

it's almost a religious experience - and - you know i ain't religious..lol..

On the other hand - i watched that entitled, arrogant, MEAN little man's oprah interview - and - he did admit responsibility - to a degree..

HE was the ringleader - HE forced others into it - HE got others thrown off the team if they wouldn't come into compliance with...'the program'...HE is a BULLY of the worst order - AND - having been an 'almost' high-level athlete myself - i KNEW what he did was NOT possible - even as he was doing it, but - HEY - they'd drug tested him all the time, right?

Sigh...the entire US parent organization was in on it - moneymoneymoney...

ps...look up the correlation between testicular cancer and performance enhancing drugs..

Yeah...interesting, eh?

Grrrrrr....

billybuc, as a nation, i feel that many people are shocked because there were millions of millions of people who looked up to Lance Armstrong and saw him as someone who has endured so much with having cancer and still being able to do what he loves to do. this intune, helped people to accomplish their goals and dreams and to never give up because Lance Armstrong never did.

This is a great hub. Reminds me of a "story" I read of someone named Adam who blamed his wife Eve for for "causing" him to disobey God's one command to the couple; and Eve, who in turn, blamed her disobedience on a serpent. We inherit a lot from our fathers, and lying is one of those things.

Here's a scary passage from scripture: "He who is victorious shall inherit all these things, and I will be God to him and he shall be My son. But as for the cowards and the ignoble and the contemptible and the cravenly lacking in courage and the cowardly submissive, and as for the unbelieving and faithless, and as for the depraved and defiled with abominations, and as for murderers and the lewd and adulterous and the practicers of magic arts and the idolaters (those who give supreme devotion to anyone or anything other thn God) and all liars (those who knowingly convey untruth by word or deed)- [all these shall have] their part in the lake that blazes with fire and brimstone. This is the second death." (Amplified Bible) Nobody ever really considers the part about the liars- this would refer to habitual liars who are not trying to change their behavior with God's help.

Either we believe that all this is real and we take serious thought to good "old-fashioned" character-building, or we stop complaining about society because it doesn't really matter in the end what anyone does. I choose to believe, look at my own behavior, and take responsibility.

Voted up and shared.

I for one make sure that I accept my mistakes and take responsibilities of my actions This might be due to the constant blame gaming that I have seen while growing up. I have always loved your hubs billy... it is always very thought provoking...:)

Thanks for sharing...

This taking responsibility for actions is huge. And it is not an easy thing to do. For me..I had a mother who never took responsibility for anything and every problem was somebody elses fault..always a reason for unhappiness and failure. So I went opposite and sometimes take too much responsibility for my actions..and maybe too much blame. I can look at stupid things I did and say and claim responsibility..It is very freeing. Great topic and you really hit it. Voting up and sharing around.

Bill, great hub. Thanks for using Armstrong to tell your story - I am so tired of people saying he is still a hero and he is still honourable adn what he did was understandable etc etc. And Oprah should be ashamed, she let him off the hook. Sorry folks, he is not any of the adjectives attached to him, he is a cheat! And at the very least he should have said sorry and admitted he was wrong - full stop (period!). What he did was inexcusable especially given the way he has built a personality based on his 'heroic' life. It makes my blood boil!

Thank you for this. As leaders,we know that the gauge of right and wrong is not always straight.

I don't know if that is sad or not, Bill. I was told three decades ago that trust should be earned not granted. I think that has served me well.

If one of us kids did something wrong and no one would admit it, my step-father would spank every one of us. That put a lot of pressure on my siblings since I was never in the wrong. haha

Good one kindred! Easy words to say, aren't they. I'm sorry. But we have to ask if there is any sincerity attached. I reflect back to my parents who were always less punitive if I owned my mistakes and was sincere. Somehow, they could tell. lol

I don't know when the shift occured in our world where we began placing so much value on perfection rather than simply being human. Humans make mistakes. Duh!

I love this one! Hugs to you my friend.

Hi Bill, I think there seems to be a general feeling of distrust in society these days, and in order to apologise, maybe one has to have a feeling of trust in others. People learn to feel and say sorry as children. If they are afraid of the consequences they lie instead. Politicians and other high profile (a situation chosen by them) people are afraid of consequences, usually life-changing consequences. When they can't admit to their bad behaviour it makes all of us feel distrust. My parents used to tell us that honesty is the best policy. But now we see that no longer applies! It must be challenging for parents to instill the values of the past into the children of today, when children observe the rich and famous discarding them.

I think of this topic often: Why is it so difficult for people these days to admit they are wrong? And further, to apologize? Is this behavior something that has materialized of late? I think perhaps so, William. I have found that in the professional realm if one admits that one has made a mistake, one can be "rewarded" by a slap on the wrist, by being placed on probation, or even fired. I fear that the days of taking responsibility for ones actions may be on a hiatus for quite some time. However, the more people who speak up like you, the more chance we have of changing that dismal paradigm. As usual, you have resonated with the times and the thoughts of modern folk.

My apologies for not being about. I have really missed the hub community and you! My precious kitty, Clara, of 12 years passed away from cancer a week ago, and I have holed up at home to grieve my loss. However, I mustn't let go of life, though I miss her so. It is amazing how much a fur baby can bless ones life.

Thank you once again for a thoughtful examination of a bugaboo that haunts modern society these days. And yes, I am wrong so very much and so often, but that makes me a member of the human race. As long as I admit that I am wrong, learn from my mistakes, and evolve from what I have learned from my boo-boo, then I can breathe freely again. All of those folk out there who do not admit the error of their ways, in my opinion, become emotionally constipated. Not a comfortable place to be!

Blessings, dear friend,

Reba

Bill, when I worked in the corporate world and discovered I made a mistake (in the world of accounting, that can be monumental!), I would first go to my direct supervisor, then the officers of the company and tell them I f---ed up. I figured it was best they found out from me then from someone else or by accident. They always made me feel good by saying, "You f---ed up? I don't believe it. You don't make mistakes, Shauna!" Ha ha. Of course I do. I'm human!

The point is, you have to fess up. If you don't, it makes matters worse and you lose credibility. Taking responsibility in life is what it's all about whether it is corporate or personal. It's called being accountable.

Really great one here, Bill, once again!

Yes, why do we place people (just another human like ourselves) up high on a pedastal? When we do such, then that person whom we've placed so very high up, must have no choice but to experience that great big fall. I know when I put my pants on, I do it one leg at a time, just like everybody else.

Not one is perfect on this planet. I love your example of our little angel-faced child (lol), surely would never lie to us . . . ha ha ha!!! Oh me, now that is a good one there. They sure will in a heartbeat and then some to get out of something or be spared from some type of possible punishment, just as we still do as adults.

Voted up +++ and sharing (will have to come back to share, my buttons are not showing on this end)

Hugs and blessings, Faith Reaper

Society is indeed changing. I know many people, unfortunately, whom rarely if ever would admit ANY wrongdoing. Hmm... was whom the right word there? If not, I would have been wrong, oh well. I think it goes even further, along the same line of thought, there seem to be countless people that can no longer make a decision without saying, "I did this because so and so said I should", just in case. Give me a break PEOPLE!

billybuc, I am wondering? does this also apply to the millions who free education and tons of opportunity that are not milking the system? What about all those babies born out of wedlock? Your write is on point! If applied to all and all had to accept responsibility for their actions this country would be in a much better place!

This is a great hub. No one takes responsibility for anything anymore. I know it is tough admitting when a person is wrong, but it has to happen sometimes. Sigh. Voted up!

I have always wondered why we worship singers and actors and sports players. They are people with a certain talent....but they are just people. The news seems to love it when they find an imperfection. So and so has gained wieght, so and so has gotten a divorce. We all fight our own demons, but most of us get to do it in private. Lance screwed up...big time....I have screwed up too...big time. Who hasn't? And maybe his inability to say he was wrong is just another screw up. He is on his own path and needs to learn his own lessons. The older I get the more compassion I feel for my fellow humans. This life is hard and there is no road map. Maybe if we all had more compassion it would be easier for people to admit they are wrong. Anyway Bill, another thought provoking hub. Thanks!

I learned at an early age, that if I did something wrong, my parents would disipline me and life moved on, but if I LIED to them, not only was I disiplined by them, but I truly "disappointed" them.

I teach my kids, if you screw up.....man up and take your punishment. If I catch them LYING to me....they were just not in trouble, but I had lost my trust in them...and the punishment would seem twice as bad had they merely fessed up and admitted to a mistake.

On an equal note, I also do not like the words "I'm sorry". Unless I know it was a heart felt expression.....so many kids screw up and say...SORRY....and expect all to be forgiven. It is an overused word, that should only be used in extreme situations, in my opinion.

Sorry for rambling........I got on a roll there....

I think blaming others is something that has just become a "normal" part of our culture, sadly. I totally agree that those living in glass houses should think twice before tossing stones. I wish the news channels along with their Facebook pages would delete the comments section. I don't follow our local news channel anymore because I can't stand to read the comments. Everyone thinks they are right so the comments ALWAYS turn into a huge argument. Great hub as always!!! :)

I don't hold celebrities to any higher standards than my own. That being said, I think anyone who youth look up to, have a certain responsibility being in the limelight. Lance adamantly denied wrongdoing for so long. His case is particularly a slap in the face to all his supporters. Even if all the other cyclists were doing the same thing, it doesn't matter--It is wrong! I always tell my kids that I don't care what everyone else is doing, I care what THEY are doing. Billybuc, you are correct in pointing out that everyone is responsible for their actions. It is not easy to say, "I was wrong," or "I am sorry," but admitting guilt and asking forgiveness is also cleansing.

Owning up is hard, but so important! All too often people don't take responsibility. They start saying "Well..." or "But I just..."