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The Most Important Person in my World: A Moment with Bill Reflection

Updated on April 22, 2015

An Old Man Reflects

I’m in the twilight period of my life. If averages have any validity I have about ten more years of life ahead of me. Oh sure, I may not be average. I just might beat the odds and live another thirty years, but I’m not betting the grocery money on it. I’m a realist by nature so there is no denying the simple fact that most of my life has already been lived.

It’s been interesting to say the least. There have been enough potholes to cripple the biggest of vehicles, and I have hit most of them. Some I hit by accident. Some I chose. The good news is that I survived and I’m still standing strong.

One thing the potholes of life give us is a perspective. Unless we are brain dead, we learn from our poor navigational skills. I’m a big believer in pain as the master educator, and every time I hit one of those potholes I hurt and I learn from it.

And the greatest lesson I have learned is the subject of this reflective piece.

Who is the most important person in my world?

That's me on the right...so clueless about life
That's me on the right...so clueless about life | Source

No, It’s Not Her

If you know anything about me then you know how much I love my wife, Bev. She is an angel sent to me by special delivery, and not a day goes by that I don’t thank the gods for her delivery.

But she’s not the most important person in my world.

I am the proud father of my son Tyler. He is thirty years old now, and I love him as much today as the day he was born.

But he’s not the most important person in my world.

I am surrounded by friends and family and they are so very important to me. They provide me with love, support and strength, and I can’t imagine life without them.

But they are not the most important people in my world.

So Who Is?

At the risk of sounding egotistical, the most important person in my world is me.

It took me fifty-eight years to figure that one out, but it changed my life when I finally grasped it.

How can that be, you ask?

In a nutshell, self-love is the key to loving others. Until I learned to take care of myself….to love myself…I was incapable of fully loving those around me.

Thus, I needed to learn to take care of Number One.

It begins in childhood.

I was a good kid. I did what my parents told me to do. I acted as they expected me to act. I designed my life so that I was the perfect son, a son who reflected all of their dreams and desires.

The most influential book I have read

Just before the crash
Just before the crash | Source

And It Continued

I was a such a good friend. I made other people happy. I met their needs. I ignored my needs, sacrificed like a good little soldier of life, and met theirs instead.

I was such a good father. A single parent for fifteen years, I made sure my son was never lacking. I protected him, loved him, and nurtured him, oftentimes at the expense of my own needs.

I was a good husband, when sober. I was a great employee and employer, always watching out for fellow employees and fellow workers, always striving to please them and cater to their wishes. What do you need? What can I do for you? Let me do that for you. I’ll be glad to take care of that for you. Naw, I always have time for you. Sure, I’m a little busy, but who needs sleep, anyway? Who needs quiet time? It’s highly overrated, right? Who needs time to self-reflect and practice self-growth? There are people who depend on me and I’ve got to be there for them.

Man alive it was exhausting.

And it almost killed me.

Eight years ago I was in a hospital, completely dried up, empty, with nothing left to give anyone, including myself.

And then the clouds parted and the sunshine of truth warmed my soul.

I needed to take care of myself.

I needed to find time for me.

I mattered every bit as much as those around me.

I needed to give myself permission to take care of Bill.

How about it? Do you love yourself?

See results

And so the Recovery Began

The road of recovery is a long one for sure. We do not change a lifetime of harmful habits in one day. Deciding to change is the first step, but actually changing can be a bitch. You know I speak the truth. I can see you nodding your heads.

I slipped and fell quite often. I found comfort in my default setting of helper and enabler. That’s where I was at home, my safe little cocoon where I could deflect thoughts of myself and embrace thoughts of others.

But day by day change did happen. I wanted it badly enough that I was willing to leave that cocoon and venture forth into a new world of self-growth. I gave myself permission to nurture Bill first and others second.

Eight years later, the patient is doing quite well, thank you very much.

I gotta tell ya, it blew me away to discover that I could do both, take care of myself and help others. In fact, the healthier I became, the more I was able to give to others. Go figure that one out! There was more of me to give by taking more of me for myself, like the multiplication of fish and bread in the Bible.

Today I stand before you the picture of emotional health and because of that, I can be the friend to you I always wanted to be.

Happiness and sanity re-found
Happiness and sanity re-found | Source

Tomorrow Will Be a Day of More Growth

Ten years remaining? Twenty? Thirty? I say bring them on, because every day that I have left will be a day filled with love…for you…and for me. I’m going to wring every ounce of passion out of my time remaining. I’m going to howl at the moon and bask in the sun. I’m going to see all the colors of the rainbow in my lifetime and I’m going to radiate those colors so you can share in them. I’m going to kick ass and take names, hit the highway of life in fifth gear, tires screaming and gears a’jammin’, the wind blowing in my hair.

And as I cruise down that highway, I’m going to scream to the gods I LOVE YOU AND I LOVE ME, and DAMN THIS THING CALLED LIFE IS GOOD!

Hop on board if you want the ride of your life.

2015 William D. Holland (aka billybuc)

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    • Janine Huldie profile image

      Janine Huldie 2 years ago from New York, New York

      Bill, I most definitely agree with you and it is so very key and important to love ourselves. It took me many years to figure this out, too, but thank god I do know and try my best more often than not to show myself compassion when need be. Thanks for the reminder here today and have a great Wednesday now! :)

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Janine, I love it that you are always the first here. Your loyalty is something I admire and I thank you for it. Have a wonderful Wednesday and thank you for sharing.

    • sallybea profile image

      Sally Gulbrandsen 2 years ago from Norfolk

      Hi Billy,

      No truer words were ever spoken. I made the same decision around eighteen years ago and I am still looking after number one, me. That decision cost me everything and I began life in a new country. I have not once regretted that decision. I loved this hub, it summed up all of my own feelings.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Brilliant, Sally! Congratulations to both of us for making the right decision and sticking with it. Life is wonderful, my friend, and I'm happy that you are in mine.

      bill

    • bravewarrior profile image

      Shauna L Bowling 2 years ago from Central Florida

      Very inspirational and powerful, Bill. I'm a firm believer that you can't love others until you love yourself. If we don't include ourselves in the equation, we end up running on empty. That's never a good thing, no matter how you look at it.

    • whonunuwho profile image

      whonunuwho 2 years ago from United States

      Self respect and a strong feeling of belonging are all important in each of our lives. Well done my friend. whonu

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      All true words, Sha. You and I are in total agreement, and no surprise there. :) Thanks for spending a part of your Wednesday with me.

      love,

      bill

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you whonu....it's always a pleasure having you stop by.

    • profile image

      Lawrence Kitzmann 2 years ago

      Amen my friend. Getting older sure gives one a great deal more freedom to be who we want when we want how we want. Couldn't agree more, damn the torpedoes full speed ahead. At this point in my life I'm not out to impress anyone. You get what you see take it or leave it. Take care my friend and have a great weekend and longer.

    • carol7777 profile image

      carol stanley 2 years ago from Arizona

      I have always thought and lived by---I have to take care of myself first or I am not worth much to others. It is not about putting ourselves out there first but taking care of ourselves. If I was exausted when my kids were young and wanted to do something. I told them we would do it later or until I caught a quick nap. They always came first but throughout the years I have considered myself the most important person...It is a lesson and feeling this way can be very insulating. Great thoughts as always

    • breakfastpop profile image

      breakfastpop 2 years ago

      I have always known that you must love yourself before you can love another human being. You are a remarkable human being, billy and I hope you have many, many more years to enjoy all the moments.

    • Sara Sarwar Riaz profile image

      Sara Sarwar Riaz 2 years ago from Michigan, USA

      You are so true in saying that loving oneself is essential to be able to love and care for others in our lives. Oftentimes we get caught in a whirlwind of expectations and standards to deliver, and the cost we pay for their fulfillment is always the negligence of our own needs. As we find those most convenient to quell. Coupled with the sense of responsibility also comes an inevitable sense of immortality. We are led to believe there will be a time when we would catch up and attend to our own selves, until something happens to break that vicious cycle… oftentimes leaving us with nothing but regrets, and memoirs of the time lost.

      As a cancer specialist, I am faced with some very unfortunate situations. Some of the worst of which are when people are struck with calamity when they least expected it, while they were busy making a livelihood and fulfilling others' needs. Their salient regrets involve the inability to love and care for themselves in their lifetime. No one wants to believe life may be cut short… but that is how it should be lived. Recognizing the need to love oneself is one important step in that direction.

      Congratulations to you for having achieved that milestone.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Larry, just one more reason why I consider you a friend. I love your attitude. Get on board or get out of my way. :) Happy Wednesday, buddy, and go Tigers and Mariners!

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Carol, I love that you realized this at an early stage of your life. I could have saved a lot of headaches if I had. :) Thank you for stopping by on this sunny Wednesday morning.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you so much, Pop! I try to be the best person I can be. I fall short at times but I never lose sight of the goal.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Sara, your comments are beautiful. You have such a gift of words, my friend. Bless you for the work you do. It must be hard and yet very fulfilling. Thank you for sharing your thoughts here.

    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Fuller 2 years ago from Southern Illinois

      I'm on board, let's fly. I feel the same as you. You ' gotta love yourself before you can love fully. It took me quite a few years to learn that. Wonderful write full of inspirition and hope...Loved it....

    • Buildreps profile image

      Buildreps 2 years ago from Europe

      That's a hell of a story, Bill. And a wonderful book it is that changed your life. You're certainly right about self love my friend.

      About the time you have to live, you could give the immortality practice of Thoth a try, it cures diseases and extends life. But its hard to master without a good Yoga master. Check out my Hub, a guy like you might be able to learn it yourself.

    • AudreyHowitt profile image

      Audrey Howitt 2 years ago from California

      A very powerful narrative Bill--maybe one of your best--

    • tillsontitan profile image

      Mary Craig 2 years ago from New York

      "Howl at the moon"...what better way to go through life. You are a tad younger than I, but we face the same reality. Self love is certainly the only way we can share our love, we have to have it first. Its never easy because sometimes we don't like ourselves but that is the crux of the matter, you don't have to like what you love. Be free to love yourself and the rest will come with it.

      Great reflection Bill. Inspiration for many.

      Voted up, useful, awesome, and interesting.

    • mary615 profile image

      Mary Hyatt 2 years ago from Florida

      You did surprise me when I saw you did not name your lovely wife as the most important person in your life! I do agree with everything you said here. We must love ourselves first; otherwise we cannot love others.

      You've certainly come a long way in your life, and you are certainly an inspiration to others.

      Voted UP, etc. and shared.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Ruby! I'll fly anywhere with you, my friend.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Buildreps. I will check that out in a few. I appreciate your kind words.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Audrey! That means a great deal to me.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      You stated it perfectly, Mary, and I thank you. If I'm a tad bit younger than you then it ain't by much. :) And you look younger so there!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you so much, Mary. One thing I'm not is boring. LOL It's been an interesting ride and it ain't over yet. :)

    • Sunshine625 profile image

      Linda Bilyeu 2 years ago from Orlando, FL

      In a nutshell...if you don't love yourself, the person who will always be there for you, the person you spend 24/7 with, the person who will always have your back and be your greatest strength and test your weaknesses...then you can not possibly love any one else. Excellent idea for a hub!! Love it!!

    • Kylyssa profile image

      Kylyssa Shay 2 years ago from Overlooking a meadow near Grand Rapids, Michigan, USA

      I'm glad you've reached such a healthy point of self-love. I'm still reaching toward it, but I am definitely making progress.

      Love is the act of giving part of one's self to another and how can one love one's best when ashamed of the gift that one has to give? You wouldn't give a loved one anything else you can't see the value of, so why would giving a self you aren't happy with be entirely comfortable and as joyous as it could be?

      I'm still working on making myself the best gift I can.

    • Genna East profile image

      Genna East 2 years ago from Massachusetts, USA

      “It begins in childhood.” It certainly does. You have imparted some of the hard-learned lessons I had to face as well. “What about me”? If we cannot love and take care of ourselves, we cannot truly do the same for others (it is like the performer being on stage), nor have a fulfilling life. Bill, this article is one of your best. Thank you.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you so much, Linda! You obviously understand this concept. It shows in your giving and loving nature.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Kylyssa, the mere fact that you are aware of this point means you are reaching for it...I wish you well on your journey, and thank you for your reflections and honesty.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you so much, Genna. It's interesting that it is fairly easy to spot those people who understand this concept. They are the happy and giving people...they are content and at peace. You are one of those, my friend.

    • Larry Rankin profile image

      Larry Rankin 2 years ago from Oklahoma

      Very interesting perspective. Some would say that with such love of self, what of selfless acts?

      When you love yourself, it actually makes you more likely to act selflessly, in my opinion. When I value my own life, I understand how others value theirs, and it makes me that much more likely to lay it on the line and help them.

      Again, in my opinion, paradoxically, selfish people just out for themselves usually are the ones that hate themselves.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Larry, I happen to agree with your summation. When I listen to the better part of my nature, I am much more willing to help others, and by doing so I love myself more. The gift is in the giving, but first we have to reach the point where we have a gift to give. :)

    • Venkatachari M profile image

      Venkatachari M 2 years ago from Hyderabad, India

      Beautiful hub. You are right in saying that one should learn to love himself first before loving others. When you care for yourself, then only you will be there to care for others and love them. Great message.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Venkatachari M. You are a man of wisdom and compassion and as such, a friend of mine.

    • Molly Layton profile image

      Molly Layton 2 years ago from Alberta

      Bill, this is wonderful. At first, I thought you were going to talk your dad, your wife, or the other boy in the photo (your brother)? Your statement that you were the most important person in your life felt a bit vain and obvious at first. I thought, "Of course he's the most important person in his life. If he did not exist, he could not write this."

      Boy, do I need to get less cynical. Your reflection is wonderful. Your deftness with writing was beautiful. Your points are powerful. Your ability to shove your needs aside for the needs of others is a tragic one that seems to come up in my work from time to time. I love it so much. I've upvoted this and given it a "beautiful" tag. Thank you for making my day.

    • robie2 profile image

      Roberta Kyle 2 years ago from Central New Jersey

      Thank you for sharing, Bill. And for your honesty and for being you. This is a wonderful, self revelatory hub and I salute you for writing it. The message is simple, but not easy ( as another man named "Bill" whom we both know used to say) and you carry that message so beautifully with such grace. Life is good, and while, as someone once said, it must be lived forward, but can only be examined backwards.... it is always lived one day at a time...... and no matter how much time you and I have left on earth, it will always be today that we live in. So, here's to today. You certainly brightened this one for me with this hub. Voting it up and awesome.

    • Homeplace Series profile image

      William Leverne Smith 2 years ago from Hollister, MO

      Thank you for sharing. Part of the growth, will continue to add years. Enjoy each and every one you get! ;-)

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Molly, thank you so much. I'm glad you put aside your cynical side long enough to get to the punch line. :) Don't worry, I think I'm a cynic by nature, so I understand completely. In the end I get the "beautiful" tag so you made my day as well.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Roberta, so good to see you. Thank you so much for your kind words, and for reminding me of my (our) roots. One day at a time for sure and today is all I'm guaranteed of...so let's live it to the max, my friend.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      I will indeed, Bill, and I thank you for being a part of it.

    • profile image

      suzettenaples 2 years ago

      Bill, because you are taking care of you, you will probably ice longer than you think. Keep up the great attitude. It is true as you say, when we start taking care of ourselves first, everything begins to fall into place.

    • denise.w.anderson profile image

      Denise W Anderson 2 years ago from Bismarck, North Dakota

      Let's go, Bill! It took me being in the mental health unit to learn these lessons. The first thing they did was take away my planner! I had my life planned out in 15 minute increments! It was taking care of everybody but myself! Now, I live with a simple list and make sure that every day, I do something for me. Thanks for your great example!

    • marcoujor profile image

      Maria Jordan 2 years ago from Jeffersonville PA

      Self care is NOT selfish.

      I LOVE that you love my dear friend so well. That means the world to me cuz I love him too... Love YOU and proud of you, Maria

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Very true, Suzette. Right now I'm as healthy as the proverbial horse, so I think I'll keep doing what I'm doing. Thank you!

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Great lesson learned, Denise. Thank you for sharing that with us. I was much the same. Now I have an overall plan, but how I get to it daily is usually a mystery. :) And I love mysteries.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Awww, Maria, how sweet of you. Thank you dear friend. That really was a very special thing for you to say.

      love,

      bill

    • MsDora profile image

      Dora Isaac Weithers 2 years ago from The Caribbean

      "Take care of myself and help others." We feel uncomfortable when we cannot help others, but often overlook helping ourselves. Very powerful and timely message, and well-written! Thanks.

    • amine-sehibi profile image

      amine sehibi 2 years ago

      Very beautiful hub, it really touched my heart , great work bill.

    • heidithorne profile image

      Heidi Thorne 2 years ago from Chicago Area

      Yep, it's difficult to say that each of us should be the most important person in the world. I've seen so many people drain themselves, even hate themselves, all in the name of "helping others." That is just NOT right and a common plight of those in caring professions and nonprofits. Thanks for setting that straight!

    • Emese Fromm profile image

      EmeseRéka 2 years ago from The Desert

      Another lesson from you to the rest of us, who always try to give to everyone and put themselves last. Thank you for sharing your experience and life lesson. Great writing, as always.

    • jhamann profile image

      Jamie Lee Hamann 2 years ago from Reno NV

      Thank you Bill for this hub. There are a few things I do for myself, but mostly I fall under the kill myself to help my family and work mode. This hub was very educational to me. Thank you. Jamie

    • Carb Diva profile image

      Linda Lum 2 years ago from Washington State, USA

      Bill, sorry that I am so late in jumping in.

      Sometimes the simplest things are the most beautiful--and that is what you have presented here. Just love yourself, and it will be so much easier for you to love others. Is there a superficiality to the "love" that you show to others when you are not really in a position to give of yourself?

      And all of this brings to mind another thought--as long as one hates or holds a grudge, one can never be truly happy. Hatred is a cancer that eats away at your soul. When you hate someone, the only person you are hurting is yourself.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you so much, Dora. The simplest lessons are sometimes the hardest to learn. At least they were for me.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Amine-sehibi...I greatly appreciate it.

    • drbj profile image

      drbj and sherry 2 years ago from south Florida

      Truer words, Billy, were never spoken ... I mean, written. How can we really love anyone else if we don't love ourselves? Thanks for this important reminder.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Very true, Heidi. I've seen my share of burnouts in the social services professions....it can be too much for any normal human being to take on. Thanks for mentioning that.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Emese. I appreciate you stopping by.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      You are very welcome, Jamie. I didn't learn this lesson till I was fifty-eight, so you are ahead of the game.

    • CatherineGiordano profile image

      Catherine Giordano 2 years ago from Orlando Florida

      Another great essay, Bill. If you are 58, I am a decade older than you, but I rarely think about the fact that I have lived most of my life. I know one day, maybe soon, I'll hit the wall (as the runners say), but until then I am healthy and brimming over with exciting things to do. I just pretend I have my whole life ahead of me, and in a way I do.

    • Ericdierker profile image

      Eric Dierker 2 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Well done Bill this was a great refreshing read. I certainly can tell the difference when I am loving myself. Other people seem to like me a whole lot more, and that should tell me something.

    • word55 profile image

      Word 2 years ago from Chicago

      Hey Bill, this was a very good read. You surely are the most important person. You've come a long way with more to go. Remember, your wife has been part of you. You both are oneness. God bless and stay up buddy! Voted up too!

    • Michael-Milec profile image

      Michael-Milec 2 years ago

      Perfect proclamation: by more giving there is more receiving..." like the multiplication in the Book..."

      Whole life is ahead of us to meet the needs those close to us without saying a word that we love them as ourselves, one deed at a time...

      Up and beautiful.

    • FlourishAnyway profile image

      FlourishAnyway 2 years ago from USA

      I'm glad you're taking care of and valuing yourself. You cannot love or help others to the best of your ability without doing so.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Linda, I could have sworn I already responded to your comment. Strange things happening here at HP. Anyway, again, I love the second part of your comment...one who hates can never be truly happy. Very true words my friend. Thank you!

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you drbj! I knew you'd understand this message. :)

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Catherine, I was 58 when I learned this lesson. I'm sixty-six now, so very close to you in physical age, but we are both decades younger mentally and emotionally. :) Thank you for being here.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      It probably tells me the same thing it tells you, Eric. Thanks my friend. It's always good to see you.

    • Faith Reaper profile image

      Faith Reaper 2 years ago from southern USA

      Yes, it sure does begin in childhood and wanting to please everyone and be the hero to all around. I am the oldest child of my three other siblings, and I felt pressure to be the best at everything or for everyone. One day reality hit me and I realized I could not please everyone in this life, and then a long time thereafter realized that is okay, as long as I do not resent them and not take it personal. It is a fact that we must truly love ourselves (not as in narcissism), but when we love ourselves enough to respect ourselves and our bodies and protect our minds no matter what, then we can love others to the overflow no matter who they are, even those who are hard to love.

      Okay, young man, it's not over until it's over ... so let us live each moment of this life as if it is our last.

      Peace, blessings and much love your way

    • Jodah profile image

      John Hansen 2 years ago from Queensland Australia

      No truer words have ever been spoken Bill. If you don't love yourself first and always put the desires of others first you tend to become bitter and resentful. If you are healthy and happy (as you found out) you are more capable of extending that love and generosity to others. It's easy to put your own desires on hold..only to find out it's too late to realise them. We need to make the most of the time we have.

    • Nadine May profile image

      Nadine May 2 years ago from Cape Town, Western Cape, South Africa

      Billy did you not know that Self love and Happiness slows down the aging process. I say you have at least thirty+ years left.

    • Besarien profile image

      Besarien 2 years ago

      I love when you get reflective, billybuc. There is a lot of light to be found in the blues. You're shining your light on everyone you meet. Voted up and beautiful.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you word55...I like that...we both are oneness. Beautifully stated my friend.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Michael my friend, you have a way of saying in fifty words what I said in 1200. Thank you for the simplicity of your truths.

      blessings always, my friend

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Flourish, I'm doing my best, friend, and will continue to do so. I have a lot of living still to go. Thank you!

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Oh Faith, I can't imagine being the oldest of three. My goodness, I'm sure you did feel some serious pressure to do well and be "good." Well, we learned, and we move on from here, living life to the fullest, in love with others and ourselves.

      peace and blessings to you always

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      All very true, John! I never knew happiness until I found the truth in me. Then the skies parted and true love came to me. Thank you for your beautiful summation.

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      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Nadine, I'm not betting on it, but I sure feel like it's possible. I feel fantastic and plan on living much, much longer. Thank you!

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      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you so much, Besarien. I usually save my reflections for my novels now, but I'm so happy that you enjoy them here.

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      Audrey Selig 2 years ago from Oklahoma City, Oklahoma

      Hi Billy - It is hard to love ourselves,as I well know. We are always our own worst critic. If you have attained that ability, you should be very proud. Many of us work on that issue all our lives. It partly goes back to our upbringing, but somehow we must rise to the challenge of feeling good about ourselves and indulging in self- love and then we can love others. Your hub presents excellent ideas to help us become believers. Pinning. Blessings, Audrey

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      Frank Atanacio 2 years ago from Shelton

      a little ego can never hurt LOL.. what a wonderful reflection my friend bravo :)

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      Sparklea 2 years ago from Upstate New York

      Billy Buc: This is off the charts awesome, really, really, really hit home for me. Shout it from the rooftops, I NEED TO TAKE CARE OF ME! If people only realized that taking care of themselves, sleep, nourishment, saying NO to so many expectations from others, actually makes them BETTER people!

      Your statement, "It blew me away that I could do both: take care of myself and help others" ...I hope that nails everyone who reads this off the charts hub.

      I truly believe you have many, many years left ...God is certainly not finished with you! You have SO much to offer humanity...you have no idea how much you have helped me with so many issues not only with your hubs, but the two books and manuscript I have read. PLEASE keep your readers posted on your progress with agents...I am waiting with bated breath for the BIG NEWS that an agent has accepted Shadows Kill.

      "Every day that I have left will be filled with love...for you...and for me" should be a plaque. It would sell like hotcakes in a gift shop.

      Needless to say I printed this out for my Billy Buc file.

      'I am going to wring out every ounce of passion out of my time remaining - howl at the moon and bask in the sun' ---another priceless nugget - these will both be logged in the front of my journal.

      Thank you so much dear friend - this is just spectacular, and inspirational and motivating...I could go on and on...blessings, Sparklea

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      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you, Audrey, and blessings to you as well. Yes, I think this is an ongoing process. Let me just say I am light years closer now than I once was. :)

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      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Frank. I'm not a big fan of excessive ego. Hopefully this is just a touch.

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      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Lea, now you have me blushing again. My goodness, dear friend, if I could find 500 followers like you, I might be able to buy new tires for my truck. LOL Seriously, thank you so much. I do think this is a very important message for many. I have seen so much sadness over the years. As a teacher it broke my heart to see the lost children who despised themselves. What a sad waste. :) Again, thank you. Hugs coming your way.

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      Suzanne Day 2 years ago from Melbourne, Victoria, Australia

      Don't you just wish that life would give us the tools to live it when we are young instead of older? I think once you learn to love and take care of yourself, you can face anything and you also get peace (AT LAST!!!) Voted up and interesting. x

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      Bill De Giulio 2 years ago from Massachusetts

      Hi Bill. Couldn't agree more. We need to learn to love ourselves before we can give to others. Every day is a gift and it's up to us to wring as much out of it as we can. None of us no how much time we have left so live every day with some urgency. Great job.

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      Nell Rose 2 years ago from England

      Hi Bill, brilliant! And yes I was nodding as you said about putting others first and getting totally exhausted, been there done that got the book etc! we should always take care of number one as lets face it others do all the time! then we can take care of others, loved this!

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      Faith Reaper 2 years ago from southern USA

      Actually, I have two sisters and one brother. So there were four of us my precious mother had to put up with, but dad kept us in line pretty much LOL.

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      Zulma Burgos-Dudgeon 2 years ago from United Kingdom

      My husband is so like this. He's always there to lend a helping hand but rarely takes time out for himself. He takes care of us, he looks after his Dad and for the 10 years that his Mom battled cancer, he tended to her every need. I keep saying to him he should look after himself more. I want him to be around for a long, long time but he insists he's fine.

      I do so love reading your Reflection hubs. I always get a mental picture of you dressed in bib overalls and sitting on a weathered front porch. Around you are people of various ages and sizes who hang on your every word as you dole out these pearls of wisdom.

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      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Suzanne, I know for a fact, learning these lessons early on would save many headaches from happening. :) But then we'd miss out on all the fun. LOL Thank you so much for stopping by and have a wonderful weekend.

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      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      True words, Bill. I'm going to hit today full speed and see what happens. Have a great weekend, buddy, and thank you.

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      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Nell. I suspect a good many of us can relate to this message. Have a wonderful weekend.

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      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Oh Faith, your poor mothers. LOL Happy Weekend my friend.

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      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Phoenix, thank you so much for your kind words. Your husband needs to take a break. My goodness, I was tired just hearing all that he does. As for the weathered front porch....I kind of like that vision. :) The old sage dishing out lessons to anyone who will listen. :) Thank you!

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      Phoenix2361 2 years ago

      Well you do that now don't you? Only your front porch is HP and we do hang on your every word as you dole out these hubs of wisdom. The only difference is overalls are optional. :)

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      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Zulma, I used to have bib overalls. I might have to go buy a new pair. :) Thank you so much.

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      manatita44 2 years ago from london

      How life shapes us! I was afraid of dying a stone, but then I rose again as a vegetable. I was yet afraid, and then I died and rose an animal. Finally I rose a man and expect to die and rise a superhuman!

      Give it a go Bro. Do your best. What can you lose? You seem to be hitting all the right buttons. Great Hub!

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      Nithya Venkat 2 years ago from Dubai

      Extending love and appreciation to others begins by learning to love and appreciate oneself -very true. Once we do this we can all enjoy hitting the highway of life in fifth gear! Great hub, voted up.

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      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      I love it, Manatita.....great analogy/metaphor.....I have nothing to lose at this point, my friend. Full speed ahead.

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      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Vellur. It's so gratifying to know that others, like you, understand this important point.

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      Ann Carr 2 years ago from SW England

      Great one, bill! I'm on that train already (love that last section!).

      My partner has often said to me, 'You are the most important person to you. If you don't take care of yourself you can't take care of others.' And I agree.

      Sound advice from a sound fella.

      Bonne nuit (sleep well)!

      Ann

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      Chris Mills 2 years ago from St. Louis, MO until the end of June, 2017

      I love doing these acts of kindness, Bill. A lot of times it is giving some money at just the right time, and it brings tears to my eyes when the person really appreciates it. I wasted a lot of money in my time, and it won't hurt me to share what I have now. Thanks for the encouragement to keep doing the next right thing, which means giving back to the world that has given so much to me.

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      Linda Crampton 2 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

      This is a very interesting perspective on life that makes a lot of sense, Bill. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

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      Lawrence Hebb 2 years ago from Hamilton, New Zealand

      So much good stuff here! I ticked the widget that said I love myself but probably the report card would say 'could do better! '

      Great hub

      Lawrence

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      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Ann! Your partner is a wise person for sure. Might pay well to heed that advice, as I know you will.

      Have a superb Monday!

      bill

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      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Chris. I love your example. I've wasted a penny or two also, and I now can't think of a better use for it than to help others.

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      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Alicia. I sense you already know this. You seem like a very healthy human being to me.

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      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      So could we all, Lawrence, but at least we are aware of it. Thanks my friend.

      Bill

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      Suzanne Ridgeway 2 years ago from Dublin, Ireland

      Ah Bill, this brought a tear to my eye I am not ashamed to say. Your writing hits and tugs at my own heartstrings as I recognize so much. I agree that you need to be able to love yourself first, something I find hard to do these past 5 years if I am honest. I loved this piece sooo much, if possible you get better each time I read your work. So proud of you , of all you are and all you give to us here. Keep well my friend!

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      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Suzie, if I could, I would reach across the Pond and give you a hug. Thank you for your kind words. Maybe this will be the week that you find that first step towards self-love. Or just reach out to me and I'll be glad to tell ya how great you are. :)

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      CrisSp 2 years ago from Sky Is The Limit Adventure

      I like the honesty and insight of this hub. We all have our dramas in life and yours I would say is quite nail-biting that surely comes with wisdom in the end. You offer a lot of lessons for your readers and followers specially those dealing with chaos in life.

      Gotta love myself! So, how about some selfies? :)

      Kidding aside, I send you some more love from the sky. ~

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Cris. Life is no picnic and the lessons are sometimes very hard to learn, but in the end, it is all worth it.

      blessings and hugs from Oly

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      Deb Hirt 23 months ago from Stillwater, OK

      That's the Billy that I know. Keep making those chapters and living them, day by day.

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      Bill Holland 23 months ago from Olympia, WA

      I will try, Deb. Thank you for always being here, my friend. You are appreciated.

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