The Open Door Policy: A Moment With Bill Essay

“In my early professional years I was asking the question: How can I treat, or cure, or change this person? Now I would phrase the question in this way: How can I provide a relationship which this person may use for his own personal growth?”
Carl Rogers

If you have read any of my articles you have probably seen, from time to time, an open invitation to look me up if you are ever in Olympia, Washington. That invitation is genuine. There is nothing more important to me than family, loved ones and friends. My better half and the love of my life, Bev, feels the same way.

We live a simple life. Our door is always open to our friends. Drop us an email, tell us you are in the area, and we will give you instructions on how to find us. The door will be open and we will welcome you with smiles and handshakes. It is a genuine offer and it has no time limit. We are serious about it and we hope you take us up on our offer because we would love to meet you.

Why?

What a silly question!

The Simple Life is a frame of mind. It is a way of living that we embrace completely. We love meeting new people because we believe that every such meeting is a way of bridging gaps and coming closer to true brotherhood. We do not shy away from contact but rather we race towards it with open arms.

I have written often about my trials and tribulations. There was a time, not that long ago, when I shied away from people. I did not trust them. I was convinced that all of you were out to hurt me, and the only way to avoid pain was to avoid you. I constructed walls around my heart and I did not allow anyone inside of those walls.

It was a safe existence and it was oh so empty.

The transition from that former life to today’s attitude of brotherhood did not come quickly. There was no burning bush of awakening. There was no single moment that served as a watershed for me. Rather, it was a realization that I could not make it in this life alone, and if that were true then I needed to change.

I needed to change.

I needed to risk the pain that would surely come in hopes that I would find companionship and love. I had to open my personal doors and allow all of you in.

It was a frightening process but it was one I had to undertake in order to find happiness. I had to push aside my distrust. I had to push aside my fear and ignorance and I had to welcome you through those doors and into my life.

How many doors do we close and lock during our lifetime?

All of you who have loved and lost, did you lock that door? The divorces, the broken relationships, the pain, anguish and tears that followed, were they enough to lock away your heart?

All of you who have suffered the horrors of abuse, did you lock that door? The physical, emotional, sexual or psychological pain you have endured, was it enough to lock away your psyche?

All of you who have been the victims of greed, did you lock that door? The dirty deals, the scams, the broken promises by employees or business partners, were they enough to lock away your trust?

All of you who have suffered from bias and prejudice, cut deep by words of hate and trampled by the actions of ignorance, was it all enough to lock away your compassion and empathy for others?

Today is a new day. As trite as it may sound, today is the first day of a better life, but you must take the key and unlock those doors.

It begins with the realization that not all people are bad. Not all people mean you harm. There are seven billion human beings on this planet and not all are unworthy of your trust. There will be future pain. That is the undeniable truth of relationships with our fellow man. However, what I have found, in unlocking my doors, is that for every person who would hurt me there are countless others who want the same things that I want, namely acceptance and love.

As I become more and more willing to unlock my doors, I am freeing the way for wonders and joys I could only dream about back in the dark days. The same can happen to you, but it takes willingness and courage. I understand pain. I understand heartbreak and loneliness. They are crippling and they are the great Robber Barons of our heart, and today I reject them all.

Olympia, Washington, sitting at the tail end of Puget Sound in the shadow of Mt. Rainier. Our home can be found in the Northeast Neighborhood of Olympia, about a half-mile from the San Francisco Bakery. Give us a call, tell us you are stopping by, and if you feel like it, stop by the bakery and pick up some fresh donuts.

All are welcome at the home of Bev and Bill. Don’t be too enamored with our willingness to entertain. We are really being selfish in offering this invitation. You see, we are given gifts by every person that we meet and every person we take the time to get to know on a personal level. When you stop by and share a part of yourselves with us, we become better people because of the experience. That’s how this thing called brotherhood works.

Our doors are open and waiting. Come visit, day or night. We’ll leave the light on for you.

2013 William D. Holland (aka billybuc)