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The Power of Personal Change

Updated on October 1, 2015
denise.w.anderson profile image

An Education Specialist, Denise teaches the principles of Emotional Health for the establishment and maintenance of high quality families.

Change only happens when we decide to do something ourselves.
Change only happens when we decide to do something ourselves.

I've had it. I hate being stuck here. Waiting.... Hoping.... Wishing.... Crying... .I can't seem to do anything right. I try to do my best, but it just isn't enough. I'm no good. What is going to happen to me? Will they send me home? Will they tell me I'm terrible? Will they make me go away?

This is really embarrassing! I want to just disappear. I want to crawl in a hole and let nobody see me forwever! If I show my face there again, I don't know what they will do. I am a worthless piece of junk. I may as well jump off the edge of the planet....

Have you ever felt like you wanted to fall off the edge of the earth?

See results

We have all felt this way at some point in our lives. We know that where we are is not where we want to be, and in order for us to get there, something different has to happen. The following paragraphs discuss this process:

  • Recognition
  • Resolve
  • Opportunity
  • Renewal


There comes a time when we are fed up with the fight and know that there must be a better way. This moment is the most important in our lives. It is only then that we are in a position to do something about it. We are being tossed about like a sailboat trying to make its way through a windstorm. We cannot go forward because we are constantly being driven back.

With no motor to propel us, what little movement we make with our hand-held oars is inconsequential. We can't get a handle on the situation. In order for something different to happen, we have to recognize where we are, and decide that we don't want to be there anymore!

We cannot change until we realize it is needed, and we resolve to do something.
We cannot change until we realize it is needed, and we resolve to do something.


Perhaps we are suffering because of a mistake we made, or a series of misfortunes that haunt us for a period of time. Perhaps it is because of something that someone else did that kept us from getting what we wanted. Perhaps an event happened that changed our lives forwever, and we didn't know how to accept it.

No matter what the cause, there are times when we feel backed into a corner, and realize that we don't want things to keep going the way they currently are. It is at these times when we look at ourselves seriously in the mirror, and decide that we do not like what we see.

Fortunately, the power lies within us to change what we see, not just by getting a hair cut or dying it a different color, but really changing, from the inside out, becoming a different person, and changing the way life is lived. It is only at these times that we have a variety of options available to us. Otherwise, we tend to react to events, just living them the way we have always lived them, on autopilot, so to speak.

We have a chance to choose differently.
We have a chance to choose differently.


According to The Emotional Survival Handbook, we have within us a file of memories. Each event is processed through that file, and results in an automatic reaction. The only way to change the automatic reaction is to realize that it is there, and resolve to do something different with it.

Once we realize that the moment of decision is available to us, we can use it. That split second when we would have reacted, we can say instead:

"Wait a minute. I don't have to do what I did in the past. I can do something different. What are my options?"

  • Option 1 - What would it take to do it? Do I have enough information?
  • Option 2 - Is it possible? Is there a way? Could I really do that?
  • Option 3 - Wow! That would be impossible, or would it? It would be so cool!

Opening the door to opportunity through the decision making process is opening the door to personal power. The time it takes to think through the possibilities is enough time to ward off anger, bitterness, hatred, strife, and malice. Just like the weeds in a garden grow automatically when the garden is left to itself, our emotions, unchecked, will unleash negativity automatically.

Recognizing our options is half the battle.
Recognizing our options is half the battle. | Source


The power of personal change brings with it an automatic renewal of self-worth. There is no comparison to the night and day difference between feeling trapped with no way out and feeling on top of the world. It all happens in a single moment, the moment when we choose life rather than death, when we decide that life is worth living, and there is something that we can do to better a situation.

All of the lies in the world will try to tell us that we are no good and that as human beings, we are simply animals that are subject to instinct. We cannot change sexual desires, the want of chemicals to drown our sorrows, or the human tendency to live in the moment. The truth is, we are human beings, and as such, have the power to change. We can become something better than we currently are. It happens in only a moment through the power of personal change!

Once we realize that the power is within us to change, nothing can stop us!
Once we realize that the power is within us to change, nothing can stop us!

Turn Over a New Leaf *

Turn over a new leaf. Tear off the pages of old pain and regret and replace them with a fresh, clean perspective. Gather your thoughts, hopes and dreams and turn them into plans for realities. There is no better time than now.

Let your experience teach you. Listen to it. Grasp the principles and concepts taught and hold on to them. All things have a time and purpose. One day, you will see it clearly. Don’t wait, you will regret it. The skills and tools you have will bring about your success.

Look at the people around you. You will see that you have much in common with them. Talk to them. Be with them. Let them support and help you. Their companionship will give you strength. Share with them. Learn from them.

Experience....that is what life is all about.

Life is full of new experiences. You need not fear. Your past has prepared you. Go forth with faith. Others are waiting for you to step forward. You will not let them down. They need your skills, talents, knowledge, and understanding. Believe in yourself. You can do it!

Move forward into discovery. Chart unknown waters and meet new challenges. There will be problems, but with them come new growth and development. You will make mistakes along the way. That is part of the learning process. Do not fret, simply learn and move on.

Write about your joys and sorrows. Then you will remember. You will be able to look back and see how far you have come. Each season of life has its characteristics. One season will prepare you for another.

©2011 by Denise W. Anderson. Updated 2015 with additional material and pictures. For more information on emotional health, see

*Turn Over a New Leaf by Denise W. Anderson.


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    • denise.w.anderson profile image

      Denise W Anderson 5 years ago from Bismarck, North Dakota

      Thats right Brinafr3sh. Jim Rohn says that the negative is automatic, and will take over our lives, just as weeds in a garden, if we do not do something about it. The effort is well worth the time it takes. We are much happier, and so are those around us!

    • Brinafr3sh profile image

      Brinafr3sh 5 years ago from West Coast, United States

      Hi Denise, this is a useful article for personal change. And it is true that, if left unattended like a garden with weeds; a person can began to think negatively. But we have to train ourselves to think and do positive things, and pluck out the negative weeds in our lives. Thanks

    • denise.w.anderson profile image

      Denise W Anderson 5 years ago from Bismarck, North Dakota

      Dear Sunkentreasure,

      It is interesting that your response came in the form of a poem. Many of my self-improvement writings have also taken that form. It lends itself well to feelings of peace and contentment, and gives others the inspiration to go forward in their own quest.

    • sunkentreasure profile image



      Look for the beauty

      in everything you see.

      Walk in peace

      showing kindness


      The secrets of success

      are motivation

      and dedication

      Happiness is

      what you make happen

      for yourself.

      Caring is

      going to the ends of the world

      for a stranger.

      Be useful with your life.

      Whatever you are doing

      put your whole

      being into it 100%

      Loving is

      pleasing your loved one everyday

      in a 1000 different ways.

      Control your mind

      you are its master

      Be in control.

      Live your life

      without hurting or


      Believe in yourself.

      Have respect for yourself.

      Walk through life

      always with a song.

      © Bernard Levine

    • denise.w.anderson profile image

      Denise W Anderson 6 years ago from Bismarck, North Dakota

      Thanks for the feedback htodd.

    • htodd profile image

      htodd 6 years ago from United States

      Great post...Thanks

    • denise.w.anderson profile image

      Denise W Anderson 6 years ago from Bismarck, North Dakota

      You are welcome. Talking about it helps remind me of what I need to do myself.

    • MsDora profile image

      Dora Weithers 6 years ago from The Caribbean

      Thanks for pointing us in the right direction toward self-improvement.