Self Esteem and Confidence--Make your Life a Happy Experience

We hear more and more about young girls in particular, that have low self esteem, and allow their boyfriends to mistreat them. There are some very specific causes and reasons for these feelings about yourself. Here is a very short test that will show you if and/or where you have problem areas. After the test we will continue on with what is going on, and what can be done.

Answer each of these questions carefully. Take time to think, but do not spent too much time overthinking on any one question. Each question is either a true or false answer.

Be honest with yourself.

1. Other people are not better off or more fortunate than me

2. I accept myself as I am and am happy with myself

3. I enjoy socializing

4. I deserve love and respect

5. I feel valued and needed

6. I don't need others to tell me I have done a good job

7. Being myself is important

8. I make friends easily

9. I can accept criticism without feeling put down

10. I admit my mistakes openly

11. I never hide my true feelings

12. I always speak up for myself and put my views across

13. I am a happy, carefree person

14. I don't worry what others think of my views

15. I don't need others' approval to feel good

16. I don't feel guilty about doing or saying what I want

TEST SCORE: Total number of TRUE answers you gave, EACH ONE POINT:

15-16 Points - You have a high level of self esteem!

12-14 Points - Not bad but room for you to improve

8-11 Points - Low self esteem is holding you back

Below 8 Points - Your esteem is drastically low!

If you scored low what next?

Are you confident when you do things? For example, if you and another person are both asked to research and write a paper of a subject you do not know anything about, do you feel that your paper will be as good or inferior to your competition? Do you think that you can do common activities as well as everyone else?

When you play sports are you able to compete equally with your peers? Do you communicate with your spouse so that your difficulties get worked out or solved? What are the areas in your life which you feel you could be stronger? and lastly, do you know where your weaknesses are or do you just generally feel not as good as the next person?

Sometimes when we do not feel good about ourselves, we get shy about standing up for ourselves because we secretly feel that we deserve what we have coming. We get depressed, sleep a lot, drink more than we should, or allow others to run us over, for it is easier than confrontation. We get into a rut, and the longer it goes on, the worse it gets.

Men who feel inferior will seek out girlfriends with low self esteem, for anytime you can put another person down, it makes you feel bigger or better. The men in these relationships have self esteem issues also.

How do you solve your self esteem issues? The key to solving this problem is to learn how to become more assertive. You must learn how to stand up for yourself when you are wrongfully accused, when you are feeling threatened, or if you feel that someone is taking advantage of you. Here are some tips on some things you can do to help solve these problems...

1. Find someone you feel is a good role model or is strong in the way they speak, or stand up to people, and use them for an example of what to do.

2. Focus on the things that you like about yourself, or the things that your friends say you are good at.

3. Keep good posture, and smile---even if you do not feel like it. Hold your back straight and your shoulders back.

4. Focus on your achievements not your failures. If at first you do not succeed, try try again.

5. Prepare for any task you might have coming up, study and be ready for whatever it is. If you are lazy about it and are not ready for the task coming up, you will not do well, so study up.

6. Knowledge is power, so go to school or read up and research anything you might be interested in.

7. Learn the "Baby Steps Method". This means that you set goals that are achievable. Do not set your goals so high that you set yourself up for failure. Perhaps make a to do list every morning, and if you complete one thing on that list by the end of the day, you are definitely getting somewhere.

8. There is no need to compete with others in the things that you are doing. You do what you set up for yourself, and be happy with yourself when you do it.

9. Do not dwell on any failures you might encounter. If you do not do so well at something, just say oh well, and start over without kicking yourself in the arse about it.

10. Do not let friends or family put you down for any reason. Do your best, and tell them to do their best. Tell them to live their life, and let you live yours. Be firm, not confrontational, for it is not a matter of who wins, but who can live their lives as they should.

These are the basic things you should concentrate on in order to feel good about your life, and how you are living it. Just do your best, and don't let anyone tell you that you aren't any good.