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Top Hangover Cures

Updated on November 1, 2011

Top ten hangover cures

 It goes without saying that the best hangover cure ever is not to drink yourself into oblivion.  Not all drunks are created equal.  Your size, shape, gender and genetics dictate how fast you succumb to the forces of alcohol.  When dumped or suddenly single, many people have a tendency to binge-drink, as if alcohol will solve all your woes.  The sad reality is that alcohol only creates new woes.  But as a guide, if you consume five drinks a night, or three drinks in the space of two hours, then you could be binge-drinking.  Women tend to get drunker quicker than men, with Asian women getting drunk the fastest of all.  Colourless drinks are kinder on the body than dark-coloured drinks.  Red wine gives a far meaner morning headache than white wine.

Alcohol is a huge dehydrator and blocks hormones in your kidneys which control your bathroom visits, so that means you have to pee so much more and lose more water than you take in.  A way around this which I have found is to drink one glass of water for every glass of booze you consume.  It definitely eliminates the headache when you finally wake up the next day.  Pain relievers like Aspirin, Tylenol and Excedrin, can help with hangover headaches but don’t actually mix well with alcohol and can do some damage to your liver.  You’d do better to drink a sports drink like Gatorade.  Eating something also coats the lining of your intestines and this also works to cure hangover pains.

Okay, so you didn’t heed my advice, went out and got completely slammed and now there’s a little man inside your head going ape-shit with a jackhammer.  Your stomach feels like you spent all night riding the world’s worst rollercoaster backwards and at this stage death would be a welcome relief.  What can you do to feel better?

1.       Wonderful Water – if you are able to focus before falling into bed, then drink as much water as you can possibly pour down your throat.  Besides combating the symptoms of dehydration, water will also flush out some of that excess alcohol out of your system.

2.      Marvellous Munchies – eat before you go to sleep.  I recommend making yourself a fried egg on toast whatever the time of the morning or night.  There’s just something about that egg yolk that makes you wake up feeling like a million dollars.

3.      Criminal Coffee – when drinking avoid coffee like the plague no matter how much you might crave a cup.  Coffee contains caffeine which is a diuretic and will dehydrate you even more.  Stay away from milk and other dairy as well as that will just increase your queasiness.

4.      Sexy Spices – some people swear by eating the spiciest food possible to confuse your stomach so, that it forgets you over-indulged on the alcohol.

5.      Hair of the Dog – then there are some who believe that the best way to combat hangover symptoms is to have a drink the minute you wake up.  I’ve found Harvey Wallbangers to be particularly successful at this, but it could be because of the orange juice in it and the vitamin C.

6.      Obey your Thirst – even if it feels as if the parrot in the bar climbed inside your mouth and shat in it; you will feel extremely thirsty.  Don’t fight it thinking it’ll make you even more queasy, give in to your thirst but be selective in what you drink.  Ginger Ale is always good, as are sports drinks and juices.  Coconut water, when the fruit is too young to have formed milk, if you can get hold of it is supposed to be amazing.

7.      Gravitate to the Grease – eating something greasy is really good at clearing out the toxins you accumulated during a heavy night of drinking.  The fat will also give you a much-needed energy-boost, so you need to temporarily forget about the calories.

8.      Painting the Porcelain – in my experience, hugging the toilet bowl and throwing up is one of the best hangover cures ever.  You get rid of all the toxins instantly and wake up feeling refreshed when all around you feel like death.  Just make sure that after you’ve finished vomiting, that you drink plenty of non-alcoholic liquid and brush your teeth before you go and sleep.

9.      Terrific Tomatoes – many hangover-regulars swear by the power of the mighty tomato.  Whether you eat it raw, in soup or as pasta sauce, or ketchup on your eggs, tomatoes will ease your symptoms.  It’s probably because they are so rich in vitamin C which gets severely depleted after a night of boozing.  Of course, you might want to just stick to the tomato juice and have a Bloody Mary.

10.  Sizzling Sex – believe it or not but sex helps to prevent a hangover in the morning, the more physical the sex the better.  It has to be because of the exercise that gets your blood flowing.  After an energetic workout, remember to drink a pitcher-full of water, and then relax into a pleasant slumber.

The world’s weirdest hangover remedies

In Outer Mongolia they suggest pickled sheep eyes in tomato juice.  Can you imagine anything worse than some eyes staring up at you from the bottom of your glass when you’re drunk?  I think it’s actually the tomato juice that cures the hangover, not the eyes.

In the Old Wild West of America, they advocated making a tea from rabbit droppings and then drinking it.  Although rabbits are vegetarian so I guess that makes the tea a herbal remedy, there is just something about drinking a tea made from poop that makes my stomach turn.

In Sicily, men believe that chewing through a piece of dried bull’s penis will cure your hangover.  I’ll rather stick to beef jerky or South African biltong if it’s all the same with you.

In Haiti they use voodoo and stick thirteen black pins in the cork of the empty bottle that caused all the problems.

The ancient Romans used to dine on sheep’s lungs and two owl eggs when they woke up after a heavy night of drinking.  Seriously, hen’s eggs and steak will do me fine.

So as not to be outdone by the Romans, the ancient Greeks used to eat deep-fried canaries to cure their hangovers.  I think anything deep-fried will do, I can’t see why it has to be a canary.

In Poland they recommend you raid the larder and drink the juice from the jar of pickles.  Apparently the vinegar is good for you and your hangover.

In Puerto Rico, they recommend that you rub a slice of lemon in the armpit of your drinking arm.  They say it prevents dehydration.  Me, I’d rather just drink a glass of water.

In the Netherlands, they believe that the minute you wake up feeling the effects of a hangover, you have to down two beers as quickly as possible to counter-act and alleviate the hangover effects.  I can see many young men choosing that cure!

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    • privateye2500 profile image

      privateye2500 

      6 years ago from Canada, USA, London

      Hay Cindy! Is that YOU on that picnic table...???

    • Jarn profile image

      Jarn 

      6 years ago from Sebastian, Fl

      Just a veteran drinker looking to pay it forward, ma'am.

    • cindyvine profile imageAUTHOR

      Cindy Vine 

      6 years ago from Cape Town

      Jarn, thanks so much for sharing those excellent tips!

    • Jarn profile image

      Jarn 

      6 years ago from Sebastian, Fl

      Good hub. I particularly like the strange home remedies. I'm a pretty big guy with an all Irish/Scottish/German heritage, so I'm typically not even buzzed until my fifth drink anyway. I guess that makes me a binge-drinker, but I suppose it's not my fault that the glasses are so small.

      Anyway, the best way to avoid a hangover in my experience is to take a couple multivitamins before you start drinking, particularly those with a high B-complex content since that's what your liver utilizes heavily in breaking down alcohol (lack of that vitamin is also one reason why you feel like crud in the morning, what with your liver pulling it from wherever it can get it once it uses up its own supply. That's also why you start craving weird foods when you're drunk). When you're hungover, it's primarily because your liver has succeeded in converting the alcohol into acetaldehyde, but has begun to run short of materials it needs to keep up the process of breaking down the poison. Acetaldehyde is about 30 times more poisonous than alcohol, and if your liver doesn't have all the necessary materials to start breaking the acetaldehyde into something chemically identical to vinegar, it's gonna hurt you something bad in the meantime.

      Also, if you want to avoid acid-stomach and vomiting, give serious consideration to slamming a dose of pepto before gearing up for the evening. Coating your stomach to keep all that stuff from irritating it can't hurt, but you've gotta be careful since it slows your gut's ability to soak up alcohol. That means you might accidentally have four or five drinks before the first one reaches your bloodstream. It's important to know your limits.

    • cindyvine profile imageAUTHOR

      Cindy Vine 

      6 years ago from Cape Town

      Privateye, pickle juice sounds interesting!

    • privateye2500 profile image

      privateye2500 

      6 years ago from Canada, USA, London

      and BTW - as I Recall - from way back when - pickle juice!!

    • privateye2500 profile image

      privateye2500 

      6 years ago from Canada, USA, London

    • kenneth avery profile image

      Kenneth Avery 

      6 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      Dear Cindy...maybe take a shot of Jackie D, NO. 7 first, then the margarine, huh? I dont know. But this is what this party dude told me. Thank God I never had to use it. Happy Thanksgiving to you. KENNETH

    • cindyvine profile imageAUTHOR

      Cindy Vine 

      6 years ago from Cape Town

      Thanks Ken, not sure how one can stomach that margerine though~!

    • kenneth avery profile image

      Kenneth Avery 

      6 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      Hello, cindyvine! Love YOUR work. And you are deserving of all good things said about you. An old friend told me this guaranteed pre-drinking hangover cure: BEFORE abusing alcohol, eat 1 stick of margarine on an empty stomach. If you can. The protein in the margarine will saturate your system to a point of actually killing or nullifying all the booze that enters via glass or can, but now for me, this is a moot cure. LOL. I am so glad to know YOU, cindy! Peace!

    • cindyvine profile imageAUTHOR

      Cindy Vine 

      6 years ago from Cape Town

      Wow Ken! You have made myday with all those compliments! Thank you!

    • kenneth avery profile image

      Kenneth Avery 

      6 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      Cindy, GREAT hub! Great advice for the over-doers. Like me. Once in my life. Ive not touched a drop now over 20 years. And do NOT use nictotine either. LOVED this hub with its colorful graphics and expert lay-out. Voted up and away. And I am PROUD to be a follower. Sincerely, Kenneth Avery, from a rural town, Hamilton, in northwest Alabama that resembles Mayberry on the Andy Griffith Show. Visit my hubs when you get a chance and see if you like my take on life. Bless YOU.

    • cindyvine profile imageAUTHOR

      Cindy Vine 

      6 years ago from Cape Town

      Thanks Nancy, will do!

    • alekhouse profile image

      Nancy Hinchliff 

      6 years ago from Essex Junction, Vermont

      OK, you got it. Just let me know when and send me some info and an image, if you have one. I think I would like to post it both on my writer's blog and my book blog.

    • cindyvine profile imageAUTHOR

      Cindy Vine 

      6 years ago from Cape Town

      Nancy, would love for you to advertise it on your book site! That will be great!

    • alekhouse profile image

      Nancy Hinchliff 

      6 years ago from Essex Junction, Vermont

      Cindy, Great title for new book...I'll have to read it. It you want to advertise it on my Book site, let me know. I started a new memoir. The B&B one is finished and being edited, hopefully for the last time, and polished. The new one in called Roxie and Alfred. It's about my crazy grandparents.

    • cindyvine profile imageAUTHOR

      Cindy Vine 

      6 years ago from Cape Town

      Thanks Aceblogs!

    • Aceblogs profile image

      Aceblogs 

      6 years ago from India

      Though i do not drink at all , but still i have bookmarked this hub as all my friends who come to my place for overnight stay are big tankers , so it will be uesfull for them . Great advice !

    • cindyvine profile imageAUTHOR

      Cindy Vine 

      7 years ago from Cape Town

      How to say no to sex and other survival tips for the suddenly single

    • alekhouse profile image

      Nancy Hinchliff 

      7 years ago from Essex Junction, Vermont

      How's that coming along? What's the name of it?

    • cindyvine profile imageAUTHOR

      Cindy Vine 

      7 years ago from Cape Town

      Thanks Nancy! This will be a chapter in my new book!

    • alekhouse profile image

      Nancy Hinchliff 

      7 years ago from Essex Junction, Vermont

      I love this, Cindy. Great tips.

    • cindyvine profile imageAUTHOR

      Cindy Vine 

      7 years ago from Cape Town

      CMHypno as long as you are hydrated and greased you should be good!

    • CMHypno profile image

      CMHypno 

      7 years ago from Other Side of the Sun

      Thanks for the hangover tips cindyvine. Frying an egg after a few too many sherbets would not be recommended in my case, but a sausage and egg mcmuffin and buckets of full-fat, ice-cold coke always does the trick!

    • cindyvine profile imageAUTHOR

      Cindy Vine 

      7 years ago from Cape Town

      Xanzacow, haven't had a hangover in years! But, have had several wild phases in my life! lol

      Just ask Susan, drinking lots of water and then having a fried egg on toast has always helped me.

      Paradise, lol I do wuite like the sticking pins in the cork one myself!

    • Paradise7 profile image

      Paradise7 

      7 years ago from Upstate New York

      Loved this hub--it gave me a real laugh!! I like the Haitian cure, sticking pins in the cork of the bottle. Take that!! and that!!! Ole' demon rum!

    • Just Ask Susan profile image

      Susan Zutautas 

      7 years ago from Ontario, Canada

      Ah the dreaded hangover. My choice for a hangover cure is to fill a tall glass with beer and add Clamoto Juice. If the first one does not work I have another one :)

      Enjoyed reading all the weirdest hangover recipes.

    • xanzacow profile image

      Cynthia 

      7 years ago from North Myrtle Beach, SC

      Great advice! Sounds like you are a pro on the matter!!

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