What Good Bonds are Made of
Acknowledge and Validate
In my many years of existence, basic interaction with people starts in the home. To most of us, we shrugged this off and say "who cares?"
Very elementary to some, yet to put it to heart and understand what it truly means is so profound. Today's generation is far from getting into the roots of the why's and how's of their decline, failure, and misery. In the same manner, our best leaders, prominent men and women in society, those achievers in excellence be it in the academe or the corporate world, music, sports, and the arts benefitted from such early "basic interaction" from home.. our family.
This is not at all giving our nod to admirable parenting skills, though it matters. It is about the "quality" of our bond or attachment formed in early years and carried throughout at full length in all our levels of relationships. Our interrelation with people starts from our parents' love and affinity, of their acceptance, acknowledgment, and validation of that kinship.. with "us," their children.
Affirmation of Truth
What is this? How can "affirmation" be a good quality of bond between family, friends, and other connections with business partners, in our profession or work and other people, acquaintances or merely incidental, casual meetings?
Looking good to other people, or to say the right words as one trained for it, or the knack in full hindsight of protocols is a "career" to some. Mostly they make you feel that they have the heart for it. But not all is commendable. Though we respond with a simple nod or courteous smile, we know that it is all for the show.
Affirmation means an avowal or declaration that in everything, be it an act of kindness or tenderness to a boy with disability or to an old, decrepit woman in a street corner, "truth" is always present. We affirm that truth with genuiness and authenticity of our motives. No falsehood! No dishonesty!
Tell me, if all our relationship with people on every sort or level, are without truth, we shall all end up to be pitied. We all become unprincipled and shun to our lowest mold as "corruptible" lacking integrity.
A Bond Like No Other
The Tiny Engines of Strength
When people feel good about each other and genuinely care for each other's well-being, these kind unites the strength of each, founded upon a sense of positive emotional connection.
Positive emotions, sometimes referred to as the “tiny engines” of positive psychology, are behind people's positive individual traits like compassion, optimism, resilience, that foster better social connectedness. It strengthens our families, social relationships, and communities.
Any feeling which causes you to be miserable and sad, or make you dislike yourself and others like hate, anger, jealousy, and sadness are considered negative emotions. It wears off or worsen in time. It reduces your confidence and self-esteem, and life's satisfaction in general. Emotions that can become negative are hate, anger, jealousy and sadness.
Positive emotions, as compared to the negative ones, last for prolonged periods as their pleasure does not diminish over time. Such emotion improve physical health, foster compassion, buffer against depressive symptoms, and help people recover from stress.
Feeling socially connected, especially in an increasingly isolated world, is more important than ever. The benefits of social connectedness should not be overlooked. As far back as we can trace, humans have travelled, hunted, and thrived in social groups and for good reason.
As individuals, we have this inherent need for relatedness. In close relationships, it is the most fundamental aspect of human life. It has profound psychological implications when social connectedness is denied. Did you know that since historical times, to forbid or restrain access to social groups has been a powerful means of punishment?
The pain of banishment remained the most severe punishment, short of torture or death, imposed by Kings and Potentates. Even today, even in modern correctional institutions the penalty of last resort is solitary confinement.
Low or no social connection is worse for us as human beings than obesity, smoking, and high blood pressure. Most of them are associated with declines in physical and psychological health as well as a higher likelihood for anti social behavior that leads to further isolation.
The Pain of Isolation
The most basic and powerful way to connect to another person is to listen. Just Listen.
Perhaps the most important thing we ever give each other is our attention. A loving silence often has far more power to heal and to connect than the most well-intentioned words.
"Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly. I can never be what I ought to be until you are what you ought to be. This is the interrelated structure of reality." _ Martin Luther King, Jr.