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How to accept and move on. When it is your time and your turn is up, you probably will not even know it, until after.

Updated on November 18, 2013

Someone told me this hub was too personal.

I suppose they are right. Death is personal. But not like that. Death we should take personal, like that.
I suppose they are right. Death is personal. But not like that. Death we should take personal, like that. | Source

Death like a thief in the night. This hub is written in a personal fashion, is not death personal.

Life is tenuous at best, then boom, it is over. Accepting frailty and lack of control is the first step to understanding our life.

Nice folks my neighbors are. They adopted a little girl from someplace like Nigeria. They are cool hard working parents.

I fell from a stepladder. I hurt all over. I just laid there for a moment and breathed deep. My elbow was killing me. I definitely had a bad concussion. Easy I could have killed myself. That is alright. Sometimes we must hurt to be alive.

The night was super foggy. Three trucks with emergency lights flashing lit up our neighborhood night. They did not come for me. But at just that same time, my neighbor is dead and his wife and adopted little girl must carry on. 54 and a heart attack, gone just like that. My house will lend a hand. My home will be their home. My son shall be her brother. I do not know, I do not get it who stays and who gets called.

I cannot sacrifice others for me any more. I hope they do not knock

There must be something, still waiting for me, thank God

Peace and a love are in my soul. Life often sucks yet I am whole. I am the guy who should have died. I am not good I have just survived. Well we carried on as usually today and got dressed, kind of, and went to church. We prayed for the repose of his soul and I preached about the kingdom of heaven.

Sometimes I just get tired. I do not necessarily get disheartened. I try to stay steadfast and in the Word but I am not ready to rest up on that mountain yet! Then someone I tell the story too responds cold and like the notion has no merit. And I think, OMG there are people out there with no empathy or sympathy. I think of my cop shows and how serial killers are said to be that way. And then I realize that is why I am still here. I got work to do.

By all goodness I hope you do also. Maybe I am your work. Maybe an addict, maybe not the wife who is beaten but the wife beater.

Do you have a full plate for tomorrow?

Is you life filled up to the brim?

See results

Do not hold up in your casa, make mi casa su casa.

I learned a long time ago, hit them hard and fast and the prickers do not hurt so much.
I learned a long time ago, hit them hard and fast and the prickers do not hurt so much.

Now here is the good stuff!

That first part was meant to be kind of fatalistic and morose if not at least melancholy and sad.

Hopefully you are now in the mood to get picked up and accept something else. You got it. Happy. All of that above is a part of who we are. Yes I mean everybody. But the good news it only has to be a very tiny part of who we are. The thoughts needed to write that out probably entered my mind in 3 seconds and for some reason I froze it so that I could relate it. I must tell you that the 30 minutes or so to write it was really hard. It is tough for me to stay in that soup. As I have grown I have grown to be able to see that happen to me and then get rid of it so fast it would make your head spin.

No I do not mean forget it. I mean I see it. Know it. Recognize it. Shake my head and move on. And so can you.

Have you ever gone to a restaurant that was just too full and crowded? Well the way i phrased that you would have left and gone elsewhere. See how I used the "too" word. Well that restaurant was so full you went elsewhere. There is a great "bible" story about the Inn being too full so the expecting family went to a manger for the night. Sometimes we fill our cup so full we cannot put more into it, no matter what the "more" is. My belly gets full easier now than it used to, even though it is much bigger -- go figure that one. Maybe you had to go to a later movie because the earlier one was all "sold out". I think you get my point about being full up.

Well just picture your head and heart like that restaurant. They are just plum full, not another milligram will fit in. Even the wait would not give enough room. Whatever wants to come in needs to go elsewhere.

Now just what is your head and heart filled with? Cool huh!! If you already chose to fill it so full of life and love that is what it is filled with and bad crap ain't go no room -- it has to go elsewhere.

So this acceptance can be a sword of sorts.

I like to think of it a passive aggressive behavior. "sorry dude, I am too filled with happy love I got no time for your ugly". Ugly still drops by looking for a spot. And sometimes I admit I am just a cantankerous old provocateur to let it in some times, but not for long. And now it is just kind of a habit to keep stuff nasty from bunking up with my love. I admit I put out the "NO Vacancy" sign a little early and times and sometimes I forget to turn it off. But I am all about progress and not perfection.

And now you ask the big question about the title - "when it is your turn". Sorry but I was to busy with life to die. I was too filled with stuff to do, and people to love and my own little wars to win. Funny how that can be that we are so focused on the positive that the negative has no room in our inn. Oops better be careful what we call the negative -- another time.

My little wife hates dirt. Funny she had a dirt floor kitchen as a child.

I am not being rude calling her little, she is 90 lbs soaking wet and way under five feet tall.
I am not being rude calling her little, she is 90 lbs soaking wet and way under five feet tall. | Source

Let me wrap up with some quotes I stole.

My boots were killing me, until I noticed a little boy who could only crawl.

Life is not pleasant, it is a whole lot better than that.

I like to complain plenty and stir the pot. It is not very nice of me sometimes.

Imagine this: I loved you before you were conceived. Now that takes a lot of work on my behalf. Getting me to unlove you will take a whole hell of a lot more work. Even though I think you look funny.

My life is a really good place. If your place ain't so hot right now. Join me, I'll give you something really good to complain about.

I do declare I heard a man say that "love is a Christian notion". I asked him for his patent on that.

If you were as ugly as me, you would be happy too. If I was as pretty as you, I would be unhappy too. Maybe we can share.

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    • Ericdierker profile image
      Author

      Eric Dierker 4 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Thank you for reading and taking the time to make such a wonderful comments. I like how you hit on -- why each day a first is awesome.

    • LEWMaxwell profile image

      Leslie Schock 4 years ago from Tulsa, Oklahoma

      Death is both an enemy and a friend, depending on the circumstances in which he takes someone. Either way it is sad for those who are left behind. Both my parents have passed on. My sister and I never go a day without showing those who are closest to us how much they mean to us, because we both know that tomorrow is not guaranteed.

      I like your thought of living each day as if it were our first. That way life is still full of wonder, beauty and awe.

      Thank you for sharing.

    • MsDora profile image

      Dora Isaac Weithers 4 years ago from The Caribbean

      We are hardly ever ready for death. Sometimes it comes without warning (as a thief) like it did for your neighbor; sometimes it comes as a friend to relieve someone from his or her struggles. If we could only get over the shock of it!

    • Ericdierker profile image
      Author

      Eric Dierker 4 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Thanks Christopheranton, I like that phrase. I suggested an alternative: Live each day as though it were your first

    • christopheranton profile image

      Christopher Antony Meade 4 years ago from Gillingham Kent. United Kingdom

      You must have something more to contribute in this world, before you are needed in the next.

      I have been told that we should live each day as if it was our last. Those are wise words.

    • Ericdierker profile image
      Author

      Eric Dierker 4 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Thanks friend. I wonder what today will bring. Bring it on!

    • rcrumple profile image

      Rich 4 years ago from Kentucky

      Twice I have been legally dead. Twice I have returned to the land of the living. Fate? Gift from above? Something left to do? Or, just a little more whipping boy time on Earth before it's over? We never know for sure. All we can do is to play it by ear and continue to do what we believe is best. Great job, my friend!