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Why am I Frustrated with Life?

Updated on April 20, 2014

Expectations and frustration

Frustration is a feeling that we have experienced so many times in our lives. In fact, it seems that the feeling of frustration is constantly on the rise. So, the question here is: Why am I so frustrated?

Well, that's a question only you can answer. However, one thing can be said for sure. You are frustrated because your expectations are not being fulfilled. Yes, the word "expectations" is the key word here.

You are frustrated because you expected something to happen. However, it did not happen. Your expectations were not fulfilled. So, you feel frustrated. You think that you did everything right. What else could you have done? There is nothing more you could have done in the situation. Then why did you not get what you wanted?

Yes, expectations and desires. You have done everything right to get the thing that you desire. So, why isn't your desire here yet?

Unrequited love can cause frustation
Unrequited love can cause frustation

Love is one of the biggest causes of frustration

You love someone. You expect to be loved in return. But you don't get it back. So, you feel frustrated. So, what should you do? Give up on love?

No, because that is not the solution. Firstly, love is best when it is unconditional. So, if you love someone, you love them whole-heartedly. Don't expect the other person to love you back. Unconditional love, that's what true love is. When you love unconditionally without expecting anything in return, you are free of frustration.

No expectation from the person you love. No frustration in the situation.

Of course, the situation changes when the person you love so deeply begins to consider your unconditional love as your weakness. He/she begins to use you. What should one do in such a situation?

Turn your frustration about love into something good

Frustration and anger are justified here. In fact, these feelings could actually be the turning point in your life. You are being used. Your love is being used. There is someone out there who deserves your love. So, why waste it on someone who does not care for it and in fact is using it for their own benefit?

Use your feelings of frustration to turn your life around. Recognize that your good heart is being used in a wrong way. Move on to something better. Here, frustration is telling you that you need to make a change.

Your job can cause frustration and anger
Your job can cause frustration and anger

Jobs are one of the biggest sources of frustration

You have worked so hard for your company and your boss. But you think that you did not get what you deserved. The question to ask here: Do you really deserve it? If you do, then what are you doing about it?

You put in so much work and yet you don't always get the appreciation and the money that you think you deserve. Question yourself: Do you need to do something here so that you do get what you deserve?

If you are already doing or have done what you needed to get that raise or that pat on the back, then frustration is justified.

Use your frustration about work to make a change in your career

It is time to move on. Look for another job. Maybe it's a sign from God to get into your own work. The painting, the writing, the creative work that you always wanted to do, maybe it is time to try it out.

If it's the money that is stopping you from taking this step, maybe you need to set yourself some goals. Earn and save enough in 2-3 years time so that you could begin doing your own business. That could be a goal.

The idea is to turn your frustration and anger with your job and career into something great. Take a step that could change your life forever.

Loss of a loved one is unexplainable and unbearable

Nothing and no one can replace the loss of a loved one. Death can be devastating for the family of the deceased. Grief is unbearable. It seems that no one and nothing can take away that pain.

True, no one can. You question God, you question life. You are just frustrated as to why the person you loved so much had to be taken away from you. You feel totally out of control.

Lack of control over a situation is one of the reasons for frustration. What can you do?

The only thing you can do is accept. Yes, acceptance is the only solution in this situation. It does not come easy. But it is an important part of the healing process.

Dealing with Death

Turn the death of a loved one into something positive that you can do for others

Agreed, no one can replace the pain of having lost a loved one. However, consider this. What if the person you loved died because of a deadly disease such as cancer? Maybe they died because they could not afford the treatment. Or because the place you live in does not have the requisite facilities to handle an accident victim.

This is the time to do something. Ask yourself: What can you do here so that you can reduce the chances of someone else going through the same loss?

Turn your grief and frustration into something great by taking steps to bring about an improvement in the facilities or work at making treatment more affordable.

Various reasons for frustration

Now, these are only three examples of why someone may feel frustrated. There are various other reasons of frustration. Why can't I become a mother? Why can't I find my ideal mate? Why am I not rich? Just keep asking and you will have thousands of reasons for your frustration.

Why are you frustrated with life?

To summarize, frustration may be a bad thing if you are expecting something that you may or may not get. However, if your frustration is because of an injustice, it is time to make some changes.

So, again, start by asking yourself: Why am I frustrated with life? Am I expecting too much? Can I turn my frustration into something great for me and my life? Surely, you will soon find an answer.

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    • profile image

      ashish soni 

      5 years ago

      thnxx sir

    • profile imageAUTHOR

      Better Emotions 

      7 years ago

      Hi so,

      Thanks for asking this question.

      If you have been feeling frustrated throughout your life, the question is to ask why and you have already asked that one. So, that's a good start.

      You may want to do a little bit of introspection here and try to look at the reasons that usually cause frustration. For example, if you think that you haven't achieved as much career success as your former classmate, it may cause frustration.

      Now, it may have started with your classmate, but it doesn't stop there. It will transfer on to other people as well. So, every time you see someone else succeed more than you, frustration occurs.

      This may then just spillover to relationships. Why does this person have a better spouse than me? And then affects another aspect of your life. And then another.

      Something may need to be checked at the expectation level. You think that you deserve more success than other people. But you don't get it. So, you feel frustrated. Unless and until you take a look at the expectation, this will continue.

      It is very difficult to tell someone why they specifically feel frustrated without knowing them or their background. But I hope you understand what I am trying to say here and can generalize it to your issue as well.

    • profile image


      7 years ago

      What if someone feels frustrated for his whole life at age of 50

    • profile imageAUTHOR

      Better Emotions 

      7 years ago

      Thanks Kate! Glad you found the information to be practical and useful.

    • Kate Mc Bride profile image

      Kate McBride 

      7 years ago from Donegal Ireland

      This is the second hub of yours I have read and found them both very informative and practical. Thank you

    • profile imageAUTHOR

      Better Emotions 

      7 years ago

      I am glad you found this useful, Vijay.

      Thank you for reading and commenting.

    • profile image


      7 years ago

      thank u very much...

    • Goodpal profile image


      7 years ago

      Thanks betteremotions for responding to my comment.

      Yes, "0" expectation is hard and almost impossible at times, but once you make it your goal then whatever progress you make is your reward. This reward is independent of what "others say or do" to you. This is liberation, you are getting free!

      Yes, emotional attachment is the real culprit; it binds you to the past and with outside people, situation or things. Work to cut off expectations, you are again liberating your self - from miseries and sufferings. This is also liberation!

      Yes, Right attitude is the KEY. It develops with consistent and persistent right thinking.

      Good talking to you.

      Have a good Day!

    • profile imageAUTHOR

      Better Emotions 

      7 years ago

      Goodpal, indeed no expectations translates into no frustration. However, it is easier said than done.

      Expectations are an innate part of every human being. We help someone, we may not expect something in return but we do expect that at least our effort will pay off.

      We write an article and we expect that it will at least help one person!

      I think the problem arises when we get too emotionally attached to our expectations. It becomes necessary. "I at least deserve respect from the people I help. I am not asking for anything more!" But expectation is there. Expecting respect.

      It hurts when you go out into the world to do some good and instead you get disrespected. That is, you may NOT expect something good to happen but you do expect something bad NOT to happen.

      The idea is to do something and forget about it. As long as you are happy with what you did, you are fine. If you don't expect bouquets, don't expect that you will NOT get brickbats as well.

      It all boils down to your attitude. Always.

      Thanks again for your very useful comments!

    • Goodpal profile image


      7 years ago

      More expectation = more frustration.

      You can solve this equation for happier life. The ideal answer is Expectation = 0. It will translate to "0" frustration.

      The real issue is: Why we begin to expect from people?

    • profile imageAUTHOR

      Better Emotions 

      7 years ago

      souleclipse143 and Eddy,

      Thanks for taking the time to read my hub and voting up. God Bless You both.

    • Eiddwen profile image


      7 years ago from Wales

      Interesting and useful

      Enjoy your day and I vote up.



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